Leno's Oprah Interview: What Jay's Body Language Reveals.
Actions always speak louder than words. Which is why we asked the experts to take apart Jay Leno's Oprah sit-down with a fine tooth comb to find out what is really going on behind the chin. Yes, maybe we have seen too much Leno over the past month, but his interview with Oprah seemed different since something about Ms. O makes people tell the truth (much to their chagrin) and show off some raw emotions. We were not disappointed. But because Jay is such a consummate performer, questions remain. Was he earnest? Uncomfortable? Cocky? Why did he keep crossing and uncrossing his legs? See what our experts have to say after the jump.
Jay walked onto the Burbank set with his hands in his pockets, which according to body language expert Patti Wood, is a signal that you are preparing to hide your emotional state. When he sat opposite Oprah (the interviewee seat is an uncomfortable place for Jay) he did an "arm-leg lock", which is a male leg cross with a hand wrapped around the leg.
That leg lock is a fascinating signal of protection," explained body language expert Patti Wood. "It was saying I am powerful but I feel the need to protect myself. He isn't use to being in the left-hand chair."
Which is totally fair since Oprah came out guns slinging. Instead of her typical celebrity soft-ball questions where everyone feels happy and at ease until she throws in a little zinger before returning to happy Oprah-land, O went at Jay with everything she had.
"Jay started gripping the arms of his chair early on in between folding them over his legs. He didn't like her taking him to that dark emotional place," Wood said. "And when Oprah asked whether the experience has changed him, his non-verbal response was to take his right hand and scratch down his cheek in sign of self-beating, demonstrating just how injured he feels."
Some of the strongest non-verbal cues that Jay was giving off came at the beginning of the interview when he told Oprah that leaving 'The Tonight Show"the first time around broke his heart. He meant it!!!
"Jay flashed what was known as a micro-expression; a facial expression that is very fleeting, but that reveals the emotion being felt at that moment. These are very hard to conceal. This micro-expression was one of sincere sadness. With this expression, the inner corners of the eyebrows are pulled up and in simultaneously, with the corners of the mouth being pulled down. "If you watch closely, you can also see that his eyes became 'misty' momentarily," said body language expert Vincent Harris, author of 'The Productivity Epiphany."
When talking about Jimmy Kimmel mocking him on his own show, Jay said "I got sucker punched." Oprah naturally pushed and asked him how he felt about said sucker-punch.
"He extended both hands and arms as though he was pushing something away. This was indicative of being very uncomfortable with Kimmel's comments from before and wanting Oprah to move on with her questioning," Harris said.
When Oprah asked Jay if he had any hard feelings towards Conan he may have tried to sound upbeat and positive, but his body language betrayed him.
"His response was that he had no hard feelings at all. But as soon as he said that he moved an arm across his body to protect himself and rubbed his ear which is an indication of insincerity," Wood said. "It really stood out because I believe he was being honest and straightforward throughout most of the piece, but not here."
http://www.popeater.com/2010/01/29/jay-leno-oprah-interview/
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://pattiwood.net/. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
They're In Sync
Patti Wood, body language expert, reads the nonverbal cues that Lindsay Lohan and DJ Samantha Ronson are exhibiting for OK Weekly. Find out why Patti says they are in sync with how they feel about each other at the link.http://www.scribd.com/doc/34274016/OK-SamLindsay
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://pattiwood.net/. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
First Impressions - What You Do Makes A Differance
Menstuff® has information on Body Language
Body Language Basics
What Your Body Language Says About You
From a flip of the hair to hands on your hips, how you move, gesture, and make expressions can say as much as what comes out of your mouth.
Angel Rose, 34, an assistant vice president at a bank in upstate New York, was interviewing candidates for a teller position, which required that a person have good people and communication skills, a professional presentation, and a strong focus on customer service, among other abilities. One candidate in particular stood out, but not in a good way. While she could have been very intelligent, her nonverbal communication and body language were way off. Her handshake was more of a finger shake, her eye contact was nonexistent, and her slouched posture exuded insecurity. For Rose, what the candidate said didn't matter because her body language spoke volumes: she wasn't a good fit for the position.
Patti Wood, author of "Success Signals: A Guide to Reading Body Language"
explains that body language is everything from our facial expressions, to eye contact, to our gestures, stance, and posture. While the nuances of body language are complicated, there are some common body language signs worth a thousand words.
Body Language ABCs
Flipping your hair, shaking hands, making eye contact, and smiling are more than just movements -- they're a part of your nonverbal communication, adding emphasis and emotion.
What are some of the basic body language cues that we display and what kind of effect can they have on the impression we make on other people? Here's a beginner's guide to understanding what our bodies are saying:
Handshakes - A handshake can say so much more than hello, nice to meet you. "The most important part of a handshake is palm-to-palm contact," says Wood. "It's even more significant than the grip."
The "palm-to-palm" contact expresses an intention of honesty and openness, and that your interaction will be sincere and nonthreatening.
The "limp fish" handshake, Wood explains, seems so uncomfortable because it usually means that the palms don't touch, as Rose experienced in her interview.
Here are other handshake types:
Bone crusher: A person may be insecure and trying to overcompensate with an over-the-top hello.
Palm-down handshake: A person may be trying to express his dominance.
A left-handed wrap of the handshake from the top: A person may be trying to express his dominance.
A left-handed wrap of the handshake from underneath: A person may be trying to support and comfort you.
Synchrony - Synchrony happens when two people who are interacting mirror body language cues, explains Buck. What can it mean?
"Synchrony is a signal that both people are on the same page," says Buck. "When you see someone copying your body language, or you notice that you are copying his, it's a clue that you are probably sharing a similar mind-set at the time."
Posture
"Posture can be sign of dominance or submissiveness," says Buck.
Shoulders back with an erect posture can be a sign of dominance, he explains, while being slumped can mean insecurity, guilt, or a feeling of shame.
Eye contact - "While the rules of eye-contact engagement vary from culture to culture, in the U.S., it can mean honesty and forthrightness," says Buck.
The eyes are a powerful part of our body language cues and can express everything from sexual interest, to annoyance, to happiness and pain, he explains.
Playing with your hair - When a woman cups her hand, palm out, and tucks her hair behind her ear, it can be an expression of flirting, and can mean openness and interest, explains Wood. But be careful: It can also mean her hair is in her eyes.
Using Body Language to Your Advantage
"If you want to better manage your own body language, you need to think about every aspect of your day and how you behave," says Wood. While you might think you are a friendly person, if you go straight to your office and avoid eye contact with anyone, it can send the wrong signals to your co-workers, she explains. Go through your morning routine -- what you do at lunch, how you spend your afternoon and evening -- and ask yourself questions like: Do I smile? Do I make appropriate eye contact with people? Once you better recognize your body language, you can start to manage it in a more meaningful way.
On the flip side, how can you use the body language of others to your advantage? Most important is to trust your gut. "Body language says so much, that you can use it to gauge the sincerity of what a person is saying," says Wood. If a person is telling you something, and he's covering his mouth, he might be lying, she explains. If a person's hands rub from his forehead down across his face, he could be wiping away an emotion, like stress or anxiety. Either way, if what a person is saying contradicts his body language, your intuition might be picking up on something that is not quite right.
Still, whether you are trying to manage your body language better, or understand that of others, remember the value of words. "If you become too attentive to body language, instead of what you are saying or someone is saying to you, you miss out on the larger process of communication," says Buck.
Body Language Put to the Test
A basic understanding of body language, combined with verbal communication, can come in handy in almost every situation in your daily life. Here are some common scenarios in which body language can have a big impact, plus tips for putting your best foot forward while you watch what others around you are saying with their silent signs.
First dates - First dates are laden with body language signs that can help you gauge whether or not a person is interested. "Men tend to talk a lot on first dates when they're interested in a woman," says Wood. "If you're interested back, make eye contact and listen." If either person isn't interested, and looks around the room and avoids eye contact, that's a sign that a second date isn't likely.
Other first-date tips - "When men touch a woman on the small of her back to walk her through a door, that's a sign of confidence and interest," says Wood. For women, it's the length of their touch that measures their interest. While short, less-than-a-second touches are appropriate, touches that are too long could convey an intimate meaning.
Job interviews - First and foremost, don't sit down while you wait for your interviewer to come and greet you; it puts you in an awkward position where you have to stand and gather yourself and your belongings in an odd sort of shuffle. "Instead, stand and wait, or sit on the arm of a chair," says Wood. "And when your interviewer arrives, make eye contact, raise your eyebrows slightly in acknowledgement, smile, and then shake hands." During the interview, she suggests you make eye contact when listening to show your interest, but don't stare. Sit up in your chair instead of slouching, and when you're done, leave strong by giving a good, palm-to-palm handshake.
Dinner with the in-laws - "One of the most important body language signs you should convey during your first encounter with your partner's parents is eye contact with your partner," says Wood. Your partner's parents want to know that you are interested in and care for their child. The best way you can tell them that you are "the one" is to look at your partner with love and affection.
Source: Heather Hatfield, www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/body-language-basics
What Your Body Language Says About You
When you walk into a room full of colleagues, bosses, or clients, you might not say a word in the first few minutes but your body language has already spoken volumes about the type of person and worker you might be. Well over half of all communication is projected through body language, though we frequently aren’t aware of the language our body is speaking in important situations. Make sure your body language doesn’t have your career speaking in tongues and learn the physical lingo of a successful worker with the advice below.
Body Language Says: Shifty eyes that avoid eye contact with others.
What Others See and Hear: A lack of eye contact hinders your ability to create a connection with the person or people you’re speaking with. This oversight (no pun intended) gives others few reasons to trust you and your ideas. To build bonds and trustworthiness, actively concentrate on looking people in the eye not only when you are speaking but when they start talking as well.
Work that Works for You: A career as a telemarketer or in data entry means that you can keep your eyes on your work—and not on your coworkers—for most of the time.
Body Language Says: Arms crossed in front of your body, holding your torso tight.
What Others See and Hear: Crossed arms make you appear guarded, unapproachable, and on the defense, as though you have something to hide from the people in the room with you. If you’re having trouble relaxing your arms, try folding them neatly in your lap instead of across your chest.
Work that Works for You: Being on the defensive works wonderfully with a career in insurance, where skepticism is a favorable trait.
Body Language Says: A broad grin showing all of your pearly whites.
What Others See and Hear: A smiling face suggests that you are eager, confident, and pleasant to work with. However, be careful not to smile too much when talking about serious subjects, as your grin might suggest that you aren’t taking the discussion seriously enough.
Work that Works for You: If you’re naturally a pleasant person, a career in sales is the perfect place for you to use your charm on customers.
Body Language Says: Fidgeting, tapping, or shaking incessantly.
What Others See and Hear: If you can’t remain still in a meeting or conversation, your constant movements make you look uncomfortable with yourself and others, which can cause a domino effect making other people in the room uncomfortable as well. If your hands shake, try discreetly holding a small object, like a pen. Keep your hands out of your pockets and your legs crossed to avoid other fidgeting and tapping.
Work that Works for You: Fidgeting is usually a sign of not having the ability to stand being cooped up in meetings, so try a field like healthcare or retail that takes you out of an office.
Body Language Says: A stance as strong as an oak-tree.
What Others See and Hear: Great posture suggests that you are confident, can lead well, are trustworthy, and are rooted in your beliefs. Just make sure that your excellent posture isn’t negated by a stiff, immobile upper body.
Work that Works for You: Perfect posture is a must for someone working as an executive or in marketing, positions where confidence is crucial to success.
Body Language Says: Legs wide open, arms stretched out, taking up lots of space.
What Others See and Hear: You’re clearly comfortable with yourself and don’t mind being noticed, but taking up too much space in a small room can be perceived as thoughtless and arrogant. Furthermore, your casual stance may limit the ability of others to take you as seriously as you might like. Try taking up less space by bringing your legs and arms closer to your torso and sitting up straighter in your chair for a more professional demeanor.
Work that Works for You: The need to be seen is a must for someone in command of a group of people, and as a teacher or in a management position you’ll find your need to spread yourself around to be an added bonus.
Body Language Says: Leaning towards the person who is talking.
What Others See and Hear: A subtle lean towards the individual who is presenting indicates that you are a gracious listener and are interested and respectful of what the other person has to say. Be sure not to dive too deeply into the other person’s space—leaning too closely may move the other person out of their comfort zone.
Work that Works for You: Any field like hospitality where a pleasant bond between two people is needed in order to have a successful outcome is a great choice for you if you’re a natural leaner.
Body Language Says: A shirttail out, a missing button, and other slovenly behaviors.
What Others See and Hear: You can’t expect people to take you seriously if you don’t take the time to put yourself together properly. A quick check in the mirror and a change of shirt could make or break your career trajectory in many fields.
Work that Works for You: If you’d rather people focus more on your accomplishments than your clothes, look to careers that are notable for their casual nature, like computer and internet-oriented jobs.
Source: jobs.aol.com/article/_a/what-your-body-language-says-about-you/* * *
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://pattiwood.net/. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
Body Language Basics
What Your Body Language Says About You
From a flip of the hair to hands on your hips, how you move, gesture, and make expressions can say as much as what comes out of your mouth.
Angel Rose, 34, an assistant vice president at a bank in upstate New York, was interviewing candidates for a teller position, which required that a person have good people and communication skills, a professional presentation, and a strong focus on customer service, among other abilities. One candidate in particular stood out, but not in a good way. While she could have been very intelligent, her nonverbal communication and body language were way off. Her handshake was more of a finger shake, her eye contact was nonexistent, and her slouched posture exuded insecurity. For Rose, what the candidate said didn't matter because her body language spoke volumes: she wasn't a good fit for the position.
Patti Wood, author of "Success Signals: A Guide to Reading Body Language"
explains that body language is everything from our facial expressions, to eye contact, to our gestures, stance, and posture. While the nuances of body language are complicated, there are some common body language signs worth a thousand words.
Body Language ABCs
Flipping your hair, shaking hands, making eye contact, and smiling are more than just movements -- they're a part of your nonverbal communication, adding emphasis and emotion.
What are some of the basic body language cues that we display and what kind of effect can they have on the impression we make on other people? Here's a beginner's guide to understanding what our bodies are saying:
Handshakes - A handshake can say so much more than hello, nice to meet you. "The most important part of a handshake is palm-to-palm contact," says Wood. "It's even more significant than the grip."
The "palm-to-palm" contact expresses an intention of honesty and openness, and that your interaction will be sincere and nonthreatening.
The "limp fish" handshake, Wood explains, seems so uncomfortable because it usually means that the palms don't touch, as Rose experienced in her interview.
Here are other handshake types:
Bone crusher: A person may be insecure and trying to overcompensate with an over-the-top hello.
Palm-down handshake: A person may be trying to express his dominance.
A left-handed wrap of the handshake from the top: A person may be trying to express his dominance.
A left-handed wrap of the handshake from underneath: A person may be trying to support and comfort you.
Synchrony - Synchrony happens when two people who are interacting mirror body language cues, explains Buck. What can it mean?
"Synchrony is a signal that both people are on the same page," says Buck. "When you see someone copying your body language, or you notice that you are copying his, it's a clue that you are probably sharing a similar mind-set at the time."
Posture
"Posture can be sign of dominance or submissiveness," says Buck.
Shoulders back with an erect posture can be a sign of dominance, he explains, while being slumped can mean insecurity, guilt, or a feeling of shame.
Eye contact - "While the rules of eye-contact engagement vary from culture to culture, in the U.S., it can mean honesty and forthrightness," says Buck.
The eyes are a powerful part of our body language cues and can express everything from sexual interest, to annoyance, to happiness and pain, he explains.
Playing with your hair - When a woman cups her hand, palm out, and tucks her hair behind her ear, it can be an expression of flirting, and can mean openness and interest, explains Wood. But be careful: It can also mean her hair is in her eyes.
Using Body Language to Your Advantage
"If you want to better manage your own body language, you need to think about every aspect of your day and how you behave," says Wood. While you might think you are a friendly person, if you go straight to your office and avoid eye contact with anyone, it can send the wrong signals to your co-workers, she explains. Go through your morning routine -- what you do at lunch, how you spend your afternoon and evening -- and ask yourself questions like: Do I smile? Do I make appropriate eye contact with people? Once you better recognize your body language, you can start to manage it in a more meaningful way.
On the flip side, how can you use the body language of others to your advantage? Most important is to trust your gut. "Body language says so much, that you can use it to gauge the sincerity of what a person is saying," says Wood. If a person is telling you something, and he's covering his mouth, he might be lying, she explains. If a person's hands rub from his forehead down across his face, he could be wiping away an emotion, like stress or anxiety. Either way, if what a person is saying contradicts his body language, your intuition might be picking up on something that is not quite right.
Still, whether you are trying to manage your body language better, or understand that of others, remember the value of words. "If you become too attentive to body language, instead of what you are saying or someone is saying to you, you miss out on the larger process of communication," says Buck.
Body Language Put to the Test
A basic understanding of body language, combined with verbal communication, can come in handy in almost every situation in your daily life. Here are some common scenarios in which body language can have a big impact, plus tips for putting your best foot forward while you watch what others around you are saying with their silent signs.
First dates - First dates are laden with body language signs that can help you gauge whether or not a person is interested. "Men tend to talk a lot on first dates when they're interested in a woman," says Wood. "If you're interested back, make eye contact and listen." If either person isn't interested, and looks around the room and avoids eye contact, that's a sign that a second date isn't likely.
Other first-date tips - "When men touch a woman on the small of her back to walk her through a door, that's a sign of confidence and interest," says Wood. For women, it's the length of their touch that measures their interest. While short, less-than-a-second touches are appropriate, touches that are too long could convey an intimate meaning.
Job interviews - First and foremost, don't sit down while you wait for your interviewer to come and greet you; it puts you in an awkward position where you have to stand and gather yourself and your belongings in an odd sort of shuffle. "Instead, stand and wait, or sit on the arm of a chair," says Wood. "And when your interviewer arrives, make eye contact, raise your eyebrows slightly in acknowledgement, smile, and then shake hands." During the interview, she suggests you make eye contact when listening to show your interest, but don't stare. Sit up in your chair instead of slouching, and when you're done, leave strong by giving a good, palm-to-palm handshake.
Dinner with the in-laws - "One of the most important body language signs you should convey during your first encounter with your partner's parents is eye contact with your partner," says Wood. Your partner's parents want to know that you are interested in and care for their child. The best way you can tell them that you are "the one" is to look at your partner with love and affection.
Source: Heather Hatfield, www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/body-language-basics
What Your Body Language Says About You
When you walk into a room full of colleagues, bosses, or clients, you might not say a word in the first few minutes but your body language has already spoken volumes about the type of person and worker you might be. Well over half of all communication is projected through body language, though we frequently aren’t aware of the language our body is speaking in important situations. Make sure your body language doesn’t have your career speaking in tongues and learn the physical lingo of a successful worker with the advice below.
Body Language Says: Shifty eyes that avoid eye contact with others.
What Others See and Hear: A lack of eye contact hinders your ability to create a connection with the person or people you’re speaking with. This oversight (no pun intended) gives others few reasons to trust you and your ideas. To build bonds and trustworthiness, actively concentrate on looking people in the eye not only when you are speaking but when they start talking as well.
Work that Works for You: A career as a telemarketer or in data entry means that you can keep your eyes on your work—and not on your coworkers—for most of the time.
Body Language Says: Arms crossed in front of your body, holding your torso tight.
What Others See and Hear: Crossed arms make you appear guarded, unapproachable, and on the defense, as though you have something to hide from the people in the room with you. If you’re having trouble relaxing your arms, try folding them neatly in your lap instead of across your chest.
Work that Works for You: Being on the defensive works wonderfully with a career in insurance, where skepticism is a favorable trait.
Body Language Says: A broad grin showing all of your pearly whites.
What Others See and Hear: A smiling face suggests that you are eager, confident, and pleasant to work with. However, be careful not to smile too much when talking about serious subjects, as your grin might suggest that you aren’t taking the discussion seriously enough.
Work that Works for You: If you’re naturally a pleasant person, a career in sales is the perfect place for you to use your charm on customers.
Body Language Says: Fidgeting, tapping, or shaking incessantly.
What Others See and Hear: If you can’t remain still in a meeting or conversation, your constant movements make you look uncomfortable with yourself and others, which can cause a domino effect making other people in the room uncomfortable as well. If your hands shake, try discreetly holding a small object, like a pen. Keep your hands out of your pockets and your legs crossed to avoid other fidgeting and tapping.
Work that Works for You: Fidgeting is usually a sign of not having the ability to stand being cooped up in meetings, so try a field like healthcare or retail that takes you out of an office.
Body Language Says: A stance as strong as an oak-tree.
What Others See and Hear: Great posture suggests that you are confident, can lead well, are trustworthy, and are rooted in your beliefs. Just make sure that your excellent posture isn’t negated by a stiff, immobile upper body.
Work that Works for You: Perfect posture is a must for someone working as an executive or in marketing, positions where confidence is crucial to success.
Body Language Says: Legs wide open, arms stretched out, taking up lots of space.
What Others See and Hear: You’re clearly comfortable with yourself and don’t mind being noticed, but taking up too much space in a small room can be perceived as thoughtless and arrogant. Furthermore, your casual stance may limit the ability of others to take you as seriously as you might like. Try taking up less space by bringing your legs and arms closer to your torso and sitting up straighter in your chair for a more professional demeanor.
Work that Works for You: The need to be seen is a must for someone in command of a group of people, and as a teacher or in a management position you’ll find your need to spread yourself around to be an added bonus.
Body Language Says: Leaning towards the person who is talking.
What Others See and Hear: A subtle lean towards the individual who is presenting indicates that you are a gracious listener and are interested and respectful of what the other person has to say. Be sure not to dive too deeply into the other person’s space—leaning too closely may move the other person out of their comfort zone.
Work that Works for You: Any field like hospitality where a pleasant bond between two people is needed in order to have a successful outcome is a great choice for you if you’re a natural leaner.
Body Language Says: A shirttail out, a missing button, and other slovenly behaviors.
What Others See and Hear: You can’t expect people to take you seriously if you don’t take the time to put yourself together properly. A quick check in the mirror and a change of shirt could make or break your career trajectory in many fields.
Work that Works for You: If you’d rather people focus more on your accomplishments than your clothes, look to careers that are notable for their casual nature, like computer and internet-oriented jobs.
Source: jobs.aol.com/article/_a/what-your-body-language-says-about-you/* * *
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://pattiwood.net/. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
7 Nonverbal Secrets For The Salesperson
According to Patti Wood, author of "Success Signals - Body Language in Business," 85% of the buying decision is not based on what you say, but what you do nonverbally. Patti discusses 7 nonverbal secrets in Club Solutions Magazine that will help you land more deals and close more sales. Learn the power of the "silent sell" at the link!http://www.scribd.com/doc/34851923/Club-Solutions-7-Nonverbal-Secrets-for-the-Salesperson
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://pattiwood.net/. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
Bush's Yo' Blair Greeting
I have been blogging not only on this blog on body language, but also my speech coach blog about the increase in informality in communication. Here is an example from a media interview I did several years ago.
The link below contains some strong language by George Bush and my comments to a journalist.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8650086.stm
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
The link below contains some strong language by George Bush and my comments to a journalist.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8650086.stm
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
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