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When should you Match and Mirror body language?


Yesterday I was on HLN news talking about the effects of the Texas campus shooting. When there is a dangerous situation and people are afraid the group will tend to match and mirror that fear. This basic survival instinct allowed danger to be committed to the tribe.  So I always teach that you must mirror with integrity for your sake and for the sake of the person you are empathizing with.  You may have crossed your legs to match your best friend’s seating position or leaned in close as your sweetie and noticed that they did the same, using matching and mirroring to get close. . Whether you realize you’re doing it or not, subtly mimicking people in social settings helps you form bonds and establish connections. Mirroring—copying a person’s looks, gestures and general body language is especially effective on job interviews and dates or when we're in other SNAP first impressions (http://www.snapfirstimpressions.com) settings when you are trying to establish a rapport and develop trust.
While this unconscious activity has its benefits—imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, after all—new research reveals that unchecked mirroring can backfire.

 
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Sacramento Book Review of SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma

http://citybookreview.com/2013/01/snap-making-the-most-of-first-impressions-body-language-and-charisma/

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

KHSU Radio Interview of Patti on SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma

Below is a wonderful note from the host of the radio interview that I did for KHSU.  Click the link given in the note to hear the entire interview. 


Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed interviewing Patti. The original air date of January 14, 2013 was postponed due to a preemptive programming decision at KHSU.  Therefore the interview will be airing tomorrow, January 21, 2013 at 1:30 p.m. PST.  The interview can be streamed live at www.khsu.org.  It will also be available in the KHSU archives for the two weeks following the air date.  To listen to the archived program go to www.khsu.org, click on web audio, then audio archives.  Scroll down the page to Through the Eyes of Women and choose the Windows Media Player version or an mp3 version. 

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Defined By Your Desk

Click the link below to read how you can be defined by your desk according to Patti in a recent article for the Toronto Sun.

http://career.jobboom.com/workplace/challenges/2005/03/16/3277969-torsun.html

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Get Powerful!

The first speaker walked confidently onto the stage, his shoulders back, his chest held high, and stood with his feet apart and began gesturing broadly. The second speaker shuffled hesitantly onto the stage and stood with his shoulders slumped, his head bowed his feet together and his hands twined together held below his belt. What do you think of each speaker and what do you think each was feeling?
Powerful body language is telling. In a study of 132 business school graduates that took place over eight years and included extensive interviews, researchers looked at women who showed powerful body language and discovered that women who can turn their body language on and off according to their circumstances (called self- monitoring) get more promotions than men or other women. We know that body language can make people think and feel differently about you, but in her popular TEDTalk Amy Cuddy enthusiastically shares her research results that show that holding a powerful or powerless body language posture for two minutes can change your hormones (raising or lowering testosterone and cortisol), and thus how you feel. The Huffington Post asked me to comment on this TedTalk and let me say for the record, Hallelujah! Some great new research to support what I feel is one of the most remarkable and beneficial aspects of body language awareness. I say in my book, Snap Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma, that however you hold yourself, however you move through space, and however you gesture, your body sends messages back to your brain to make you feel that way. So, if you are standing with your shoulders drooping and head bowed, the little pharmacy in your brain creates and sends chemicals into your bloodstream in less than a fortieth of a second to make you feel less powerful. The great news is, if you know what creates powerful body language messages, and integrate that with an awareness of your own body language, you can feel as powerful as you wish to be in a fraction of a second. What can you do to make yourself feel authentically powerful immediately? The four foundation principles of power are confidence, space, openness, and relaxation. So to feel more powerful:
1. Take up space with your body. Notice how far apart your feet are normally and if you don't feel powerful, Stand or with your feet as little as one inch further apart to feel lion like stability and presence. If you are seated you can put your feet further apart or out and use those arm rest. Spread out.
2. Hold and or gesture your hands above your waist, or to feel victorious and euphoric hold them very high up at or above your head. What I call Up posture makes you feel up and confident. So hold your head and body up. We spend far to much time looking down at our smart phones train yourself to look up.
3. Keep what I call your body windows open. Focus on the windows at your feet your pelvis your heart your neck and the palms of your hands. Stand or sit with your limbs unfolded and don't close and block your windows with your stuff, such as your coffee cup or purse smart phone or by touching you face, your neck shirt collar in power reducing self- comfort moves.
4. Relax your body. Tension makes us get small relaxing and breathing make you look and feel powerful.
You have the power change the way you feel in any situation. So put your hands in the air and get powerful.
Ideas are not set in stone. When exposed to thoughtful people, they morph and adapt into their most potent form. TEDWeekends will highlight some of today's most intriguing ideas and allow them to develop in real time through your voice! Tweet #TEDWeekends to share your perspective or email tedweekends@huffingtonpost.com to learn about future weekend's ideas to contribute as a writer.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/patti-wood/positive-body-language_b_2459454.html

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.