What is a Nonverbal Cue?

A journalist at Forbes asked me today to define what a nonverbal cue is.  Please read my answer below.

 

What’s a nonverbal cue?

Nonverbal cues include all the communication between people that do not have a direct verbal translation.  Nonverbal cues are all body movements, body orientation, nuances of the voice (called Paralanguage) facial expressions, details of dress, and choice and movement of objects that communicate.

Time and space can also be perceived as having nonverbal cues.  If you send a text on a Saturday night requesting your team work on a project the fact that it is a text is a cue, the day of the week and the time of day the text is sent all are nonverbal cues. Conveying things about you as the sender and what the receiver feels about them and about the subject of the request.

To clarify the statement that nonverbal cues include all the communication between people that do not have a direct verbal translation. So for example the OK sign you make with your hands is considered verbal communication while an upward movement you may make with your hands as you say ok is nonverbal communication.

 How do you define Nonverbal Communication? Here is the list of cues and behaviors under each separate category of nonverbal communication.

Kinesics – body movement and placement, including gesture, leaning, facial expressions.  kinesics: see body language.  

Paralanguage - voice quality, rate, pitch, volume, and speaking style

Prosodics - features such as rhythm, intonation, stress

Vocalics  par·a·lan·guage
n.
The set of nonphonemic properties of speech, such as speaking tempo, vocal pitch, and intonational contours, that can be used to communicate attitudes or other shades of meaning.

Noun 1. - vocalizations other than words, such as sighs and moans

Haptics - touch

Proxemics  prox·e·mics
n. (used with a sing. verb)
The study of the cultural, behavioral, and sociological aspects of spatial distances between individuals. - spatial distances

Chronemics -time

Olfactics - smell, pheromones 

Artifacts  artifacts

see specimen artifacts. - use of objects such as cell phones, purses, cigarettes

Technics - A label I have given to the nonverbal aspects of written texts, and electronic communication font choice, handwriting style, spatial arrangement of words, length of text, physical layout of a page and the timing of messages.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Tips to Improve Your Own Reaction to Body Language

In an interview in Prevention Magazine Patti stated that women are more inclined than men to rely on body language during interactions.  Check the link below for the full interview!

http://www.prevention.com/health/emotional-health/mens-smiles-make-women-subordinate-study

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Poor Communication Skills, Lack of Face-to-Face Time, My Childhood Was Wonderful - A Body Language Expert's Perspective

When I was growing up, the neighborhood kids all knew each other and whose mom made the best cookies.  We played outside all day and we didn’t have to come home till the streetlights came on.  Our moms would leave a big pitcher of “Kool Aid” and yummy snacks on the kitchen table if we wanted to swing by and grab lunch.  We would have adventures, minnow fishing, tree house building, secret forts, and hikes up the creek. We would play games in the street. red light green light, softball and Simon says. We would pretend we were the Beatles and the Partridge family and give concerts. We would get on our bikes together and ride miles to the shopping center. We had enormous freedom. We felt powerful and creative and limitless.  

Now so many kids seem to stay glued to the TV from all day and late into the night or they are on their other electronic devices. I see the effect of the lack of face-to-face in my work training those kids as they go into the workplace. They don’t know how to communicate with each other. If you don’t grow up modeling your parents communication over and over again, for example at the family dinner table or with your gang of friends, you don’t learn the complexities or body language and paralanguage so you cannot read another person’s emotions and you don’t know simple interaction skills like “Turn Taking” or how to ask a question, and listening.

 

In my book “SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma” I discuss what you can do about this to improve your own skills and some of the scientific that explain the problems with using technology too much.  For example:  “When you talk to other people face-to-face you lay down neural pathways to the social centers of your brain.  The more you interact interpersonally human to human the stronger the pathways become. Meeting people and talking to them becomes easier and you become more skilled and confident and make a great first impression

When you interact with a technological device you make quick shallow decisions, such as, “I want this text. I don't want this text. ““I want this website it’s interesting. I don't want this one it’s boring” “I want to take this call.” “I don’t want to take this call.” These quick shallow decisions lay down pathways to the ego centers of your brain. In fact, doing so gives you a bit of a high and makes you feel superior to those around you. You can now understand the techno jerk that seems irritated and uncomfortable to have to talk to you. Unfortunately, to successfully make quick shallow decisions you have to weaken pathways to the social centers of your brain. You’re laying your tracks down to the ego center that produces that nice addictive high but interpersonal communication becomes more difficult and may even feel like an inferior means of interacting. Something you are "above" having to do. “

 

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Jodi Arias’ Fake Crying and Prosecutor Martinez’s Body Language

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGuLFWygmdM&feature=youtu.be

Right before Jodi Arias first dramatic emotional fake breakdown on Wednesday

We see Arias who for days has had a much smarter than you smirk towards the prosecutor getting cornered.  We see her start hooding eyes and the face turn down crinkles of fake sadness.  This fake sadness doesn’t fit the line of questioning.   Liars are desperate they use strong emotions like anger, sadness to manipulate our perception.  

How can you tell if a person is really remorseful versus someone who is crying because he or she got caught?

Here is what you can look for.  I train human resource officers to question suspicious employees. If someone is innocent she wants you to see she is innocent. She will typically move towards you and look at you to be sure you believe her. She won’t suddenly SNAP and hide behind a hair curtain and face block so you can’t see them. Face blocks for Jodi Arias include hand to eye, hand to mouth block, block with Kleenex, and block with arm to take off glasses. When someone is truly remorseful they are responding from the emotional brain. You will typically hear the emotion cry or sob or gulp just before they speak.  They will struggle to get the words out as words are in the neo cortex. Listen when someone is really upset they are acting from the emotional brain.

In your expert opinion -- those tears -- is Jodi Arias faking it?

She is faking it. It’s an “I’m caught” moment. If you looked at just the body language you might think poor, poor Jodi.  She is shown exhibit 78, the photo of the murder, and she knows she’s caught and wants to disappear and SNAP… but look closely and you notice the overacting.   She is using facial blocking motions and hair curtain to protect herself so she doesn’t have to look at the prosecutor. You know she feels caught and is acting because he calmly delvers her standard “I don’t know” there is not the vocal stress or word breaks.

Let's watch another key moment. Arias says she had to shoot Alexander because he attacked her like a linebacker. The prosecutor asked Arias to reenact how Alexander did it.       

Look at her hands. Hands show emotional state.  If Travis had really come at her like a linebacker to grab her remember and show the tension and gripping of his hands. It didn’t happen he didn’t grab her so she can’t fake those complex hunching, grabbing, forward motions. 

If you watch prosecutor Juan Martinez's tone and body language.

Back and forth he pushes her, then backs off, pushes her then backs off.  His behavior looked overly frenetic and at the beginning of his question it actually worked.   He steps forward to attack and backs off so she feels she’s safe.  She thinks she’s won then he is right back again.  On this day he clearly changed from a frustrated parent talking to a smart aleck teenager.  He vocally breaks into the middle of her lies cutting them to shreds. 

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Was Jodi Arias Really Crying?

Check the link below to hear Patti's insights during the Nancy Grace Show and the In Session segment on the body language of Jodi Arias on the witness stand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GORILG9LVYY&feature=youtu.be

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.