I’m
about to speak to a group of CEOs in Florida. I notice that two of the
group members are standing side-to-side, feet in a guy relaxed stance
talking together laughing and eating bagels. Another CEO, the only guy in the
meeting wearing a tie approaches them. Their entire bodies change and
turn to face the Tie guy each enlarging their bodies and moving their feet far
apart. In a brief minute they are
exchanging thousands of cues. It is clear to me these guys aren’t going
to share the bagels or anything else with Tie guy but Tie guy doesn’t pick up on
the cues. Research shows that in just
one minute you can exchange up to 10,000 nonverbal cues.
–
This
example specifically was Proxemics- how people use and perceive
space. Adults typically have more control
of their face and upper bodies but the feet are under less conscious control.
–
The
broader your stance typically the more powerful you feel or want to feel.
There’s physics to it! The more space
you take up the less of a push over you are as well as the message of power you
send to others.
–
So
note, our feet communicate exactly what we think and feel more honestly than
other parts of our bodies. (Morris, 1985, 244) Generally, people are focused on
controlling their facial expressions, torsos and upper body while communicating. The feet are vital to us responding to danger
and stress and we need them to freeze, flee, fight, or fall.
–
When
you’re monitoring yourself check out your feet how you feel about yourself the
topic or situation and the other person or people you are with.
–
The
CEOs eating bagels in the story changed their stances from relaxed to what I
call a Toe Stop position. A position people, mainly men, take when they
are standing side-by-side with their buddies in agreement, talking to equals
and relaxed. When Tie guy approached they went into what I call lock and load
position. True Grit ready to go for their guns. It is an alpha/ready to attack
or defend stance.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at
www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at
www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at
http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
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