My friend Sue and I have known each other since grad school
and have always supported each other’s successes. She is a wonderful, talented
author and beloved English professor and I am a body language expert and
professional speaker. Sue arranged for me to speak to the student body of her
University.
The day of my speech we went over my intro and I showed her
how to turn on my 40 sec intro video with snippets of newscasters and TV show
hosts introducing me on their show. We
got to the room early and I put little bios and business cards on all the seats
in the auditorium. As professors and students came in I introduced myself,
“Hello my name is Patti I am your speaker today.” I gave my speech and then spent another half
hour with students gathered around me asking questions.
All these were things that I did for every speech, but my
friend said, “Patti, watching you do those things changed everything I thought
about my career.” At first I thought,
“Goodness, Patti is going over the top with all this bragging about herself in
the intros and then I noticed how people responded to you even before you
started speaking. She said I have watched 100’s of speakers in that same Venue
but they were treating you with honor and respect that I have never seen given
before. During your video intro, that I
had thought originally was too much, I could see them get excited and lean
forward in their seats. During your speech you gave brief, specific examples of
how you used your body language expertise to solve a client’s problems and used
it to analyze the president for the Today Show or CNN. Each example illustrated
a learning point, and gave you an increased level of credibility with the
audience. But here is the funny thing, I
have had the opportunity my entire career to promote myself the way you did and
I have never done it because I thought I was bragging!
I told her she was a
remarkable author and speaker and should own it and start self-promoting
because men do so all the time! I shared
that for years I wanted to be a successful speaker but I never bragged and was
too shy. I worked hard, but I’m not in the big leagues. I looked around and realized that the male
speakers would do it. I noticed when I spoke the men would actually stand
around before and after meetings and
brag about the terrific job they did on a project, the great deal that they
just made or the golf game or their new car. For men it is a way of showing
their colleagues what they can do so that their peers feel confident in
recommending them for projects, promotions and jobs. It is an effective way to communicate.
Sue quickly started using the same self-promotion
techniques. Doing this, and her hard work, led her to earn a tenured position
and the raise she had long wanted and deserved.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
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