What is the worst thing that ever happened in your life that led to one of the best things that happened in your life?

My answer to a great conversation starting question.

A media source asked me what was the best personal and business thing I learned from the worst thing I experienced in my life. Here is the answer.

Worst thing. When I was 28 I was teaching body language at Florida State, had a business as a professional speaker and working full time on my Doctorate when my best friend, my twin soul, Roy Moyer told me he was dying from AIDS. We were both devastated.

Roy who had so much to give was dying very slowly and painfully and I wanted to move from my home in Tallahassee Florida to Atlanta to be with him.

I sold almost everything I owned down to the bare walls and moved to a little fourth floor walkup and spent a little less than a year with him before he died.

It was horrible and humbling but I learned so much about love and friendship. One of the best things I learned is to try to say and show my friends and family that I care for them.

I also learned things that served me well in my business specifically about first impressions that led to me writing a book. That learning included time I spent in hospitals with Roy.  I write and speak on body language, first impressions and patient care.   I also went from owning a business to working as a temp secretary that year and learned a lot about how offices work, specifically the front desk and how unsupportive women can be to other women at lower levels which has led to my speaking on first impressions as well as women and leadership.

The best business thing that happened is that I moved to Atlanta and my business took off.

Roy was an amazing person and we had always been there for each other but when you have so little time you learn that each conversation is gift.

The best thing I learned or more correctly must continue to learn is that I need to be present with those you love.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Kate Gosselin, Loving Mother or Monster?

Patti analyzed the body language of Kate as her daughters, Mady and Cara, were being interviewed on the Today Show on Jan. 16th by Savannah Guthrie.  Cara, when asked a question by Savannah, looked to her controlling mother for answers in the upper picture.  Notice Kate's smile has tightness and is not an honest smile.  Also, in the lower picture, when her daughters would not say what Kate wanted them to say, she snapped and stated, "This is the most wordless I've heard them all morning."  Kate was forced to do the talking for the girls.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Lady Gaga and Taylor Kinney - What does their body language say about them as a couple?

What is fascinating is how her style, specifically her clothing and shoes, are hindering her connection to Taylor. The high heels and high split in the dress keeps her from walking closer and makes him have to slow down to her speed.  The low-cut dress makes her posture pull back and makes her choose to put her arm on her hip oddly to look bold and powerful. Her dress seems a metaphor of her relationship, Split in two. You see half of her is dressed conservatively the other half is bare and bold.  Half of her is in the relationship; the other half wants to be the Diva. 

He is also split in his emotions. See how half  his bulk and weight is held back to be with her. Very interesting!

They are split, but the handhold even with the pull of the bodies in two different directions is strong and interlocking.

 I give them a 3 on the Life & Style True Love Rating Scale.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Analysis of Woody Allen in Response to Sexual Abuse of Dylan Farrow

What does a guilty person look like and what does and innocent person look like?

Dylan Farrow, adopted daughter of Mia Farrow and Woody Allen, has accused Allen of sexual abuse when she was a child.  Last night on Dr. Drew I talked about Woody Allen’s body language in his first media response to the allegation in his interview with CBS “60 Minutes” in 1992. 

Allen is a well-documented recluse and granted this rare interview in his home the first time he was accused of sexually molesting Dylan Farrow. Here is the link to the key 11 minutes in the interview that I analyzed.

http://tinyurl.com/pktmnrq

Over the years I have read his books, biographies of Allen, taken a Film class on his movies and then for the first time I read about the allegations in a recent Vanity Fair piece. Here are my rough notes in preparation for the interview.  Again let me repeat these are rough notes, not an article so the writing and thoughts are rough.

Remember Woody Allen is a brilliant actor, writer and comedian. And he uses his skills in the interview that he gave in his home.

First he avoids the seriousness of the accusation calling it a “NON Event.” He does not say he didn’t do anything, that it didn’t happen nor does he say that he didn’t harm his child. That is unusual.

As he is being asked if he took his daughter into the attic and touched herm he does not look horrified at what is said, in fact,  he poses and smiles.

When asked if there was any truth to the allegations, he does not say no... he does not shake his head no... he does not give any definitive emotional limbic brain response. 

Instead he gives six anxiety cues he retreats going back, closes his eyes, and then looks down, does a seat adjustment then another retreat signal, then he puts his hand over his mouth and coughs as he says, “Be logical about this.” Again he does not look the interviewer in the eye and say, “NO I didn’t do this.”

NO, he uses humor to counteract and his communication becomes smoother less halting and makes a few anxiety cues. He actually begins to enjoy the interview as he spends most of it making Mia seem like she is crazy for being upset about his affair with Soon-Yi. He goes into a rather scripted comedy routine as he bashes her.

Notice how he does falter and have trouble with words “daughter” and explaining what he did and didn’t do with Soon-Yi.

It is very interesting how he spends his time in this long interview. People who are guilty of something want to avoid responding to the accusations and change the subject. Innocent people want to spend any time saying and showing they are innocent. Innocent people want to repeat their innocence over and over again till they feel the interviewer believes them. They don’t want the subject changed till that is clear.

 If an innocent person has been wrongfully accused they may be mad at their accuser, but they don’t have to use humor to attack them. They may be mad at their accuser, but they do not do what Woody Allen did. They are not comfortable during the interview nor do they smile and use humor to attack their accuser. 

This is also significant - Notice he does not show concern for Dylan or any of the other children for whom he acted as a father.  Innocent people whose children have been harmed are concerned with the victim. If Woody Allen is innocent would he not be concerned that his adopted daughter is as he says, “been coached” by Mia to make these accusations?

Also notice how much pleasure he gets in saying how he hired another actress to replace Mia. If you read the Vanity Fair piece you realize Mia was paid minimally for all her parts in his movies and he at this time controlled her entire income and career. To go up against him and make these accusations would have been very frightening.

This was a media interview controlled by Allen, not an interrogation. I believe he is guilty of something, perhaps concerning Soon-Yi, but he is not asked enough interrogative questions concerning the molestation charges to have a firm conclusion on that event.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

How to Get Media Interviews and Press for Your Business.

Tips from My Chapter of the NSA book PAID TO SPEAK

Since 2001, I have given an average of two national media interviews a week to promote my business, interviews with everyone from Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, The Today Show, Good Morning America, CNN, Fox News and hundreds more. 

Media sources are looking for experts they want -

·        Someone who can relate his or her topic to current events, hot companies and products that are in the headlines and high in people’s Google searches.  And someone who can relate their stories to Politicians, business leaders, Fortune 500 companies, famous people, who are currently in the media spotlight.  You also need to know on any given day what other experts in your field are saying about your subject expertise.

·        Someone who responds immediately. Have a smart phone and check it often. If you get a call and I have lost big opportunities because I didn't check my emails or texts for just a few hours.

·        They need you to be ready NOW! The media are extremely hard working people, their deadlines are tremendously tight and they are under enormous pressure to find a good source quickly. Print and online media typically needs an immediate answer and broadcast media typically gives you a few hours’ notice before your interview. 

Every day people you meet will tell you what your company represents to them, potential media pitch points you can put in press releases and how to prepare for your media interviews. You just need to listen.  If you speak to someone and they ask you a question, write it down, and research the correct answer and craft your response and have it ready for the media.  If you are at a networking event and someone makes a comment about your topic, product or company that is incorrect write down their statement later and ask yourself how you could state the information correctly or put their statement in the form of a question as if a media person asked it. For example, my cousin is an expert on coal mining and is the general counsel of the coal mining industry. He often has people share with him how horrible coal mining is for the environment. He keeps notes on all the statements as well as the questions he is asked and he makes sure he and anyone else that speaks and does media for his company has the latest research findings on coal mining’s effect on the environment, what the industry does to positively affect the environment as well as how the industry effects the costs of energy and builds jobs and is specific positive economic impact.  It is clear when he talks he is the expert. He knows what he is talking about and he speaks passionately about it.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.