What I find interesting in Pistorius body language and
paralanguage is the shift from his
normally very charismatic body language with a very mobile expressive face and
lots of movement to the following nonverbal cues in this trial for murdering his girlfriend:
· Stone faced when most people would be showing sadness,
loss. (remember he is normally very expressive, his face moves! When listening the testimony before his questioning he seems focused cool and calm till his "breakdown."
·
Frozen in
place body language, posture ridged when most people would show grief or stress–
an indication does not feel the appropriate emotions or feels the need to hide his true emotion. To be clear the timing of his stiff frozen
body language is not the not freeze in place
body language from fear. In fact he expresses freely when he is defending
himself, but when he should be showing grief he freezes.
· Steely long gazes of hate at the prosecuting attorney,
that allows you to see how his anger could have caused a murderous rage.
· Paralanguage strong and faced paced (vocal cues) as his argues with the prosecuting attorney
that rarely shows any grief or distress but ,instead is fast paced within each sentence
and at times strong and argumentative
responses and explanations to the prosecuting attorney. If you just LISTEN to him being questioned by
the prosecuting attorney and pay no attention to the words you would think that
a teenager was having an argument with his father. When he is questioned at one point he says with his words, "didn't have time to think." but his explanations for his behavior before and after he makes that statement seem specific and concrete, details coming from his rational neocortex. He remembers so many tiny actions and does not miss sharing any of them as he responds to tough questions. He is fighting in this trail, and he fights with details.
· At times fake overly dramatic crying. Sadly, I am experienced, because of my work as a body language expert to distinguish how people cry in
true grief in a multitude of circumstances. People tend to move and shift as they
cry publicly (often in the primitive emotional brains attempt to get the horror out and away from the body) You may seem
to see the waves of grief wash through them again and again. Sometimes they
curl up in a protective snail like posture.
They may shake when they cry. If
they put their hand to their face it is typically a hand trying to wipe the
tears, symbolically whipping away the grief. Or to holding both hands over the
face and pressing in to hold in the grief or letting the grief escape out and
overwhelm them. What they don’ typically do is what Pistorius does when he cry’s. They don’t make themselves bigger that is what we do when
we feel confident. They would be more
likely in this setting to make their grief intimate and private as they connect
with their lost loved one as their grieve.
You may see dramatic movements in someone grieving a loved one in the
moments right after the bad news or when surrounded by family more likely in
parents and female spouses . Pistorius tears are acted they are not motivated from true grief or lost.
·
Pistorius bent over crying. First he moves first in a big and dramatic ways in his crying jag but, he cannot sustain it in its natural wave flow or
real grief. Instead he bend over and
holds still hidden as he cry. The sound of grief crying tends to
come in waves that fade and build not just build then stop. I hate that I know that, but yes there is a
difference. I don't like seeing someone fake cry and not say he is sorry over and over again.
No so sorry. People who are truly sorry often repeat the sorry two or three times in a row each apology with emotion often in waves of emotion. So it may sound like this. I am so story. I am so, (breaking voice) so sorry. (gulp in) so sorry (sorry fades out)
Anyone may change how they feel and act when under trial for murdering
their girlfriend. But typically the baseline personality and aspects of
movement even when even considering grief and fear have similarities to their
true self. And there is a second
baseline I use when reading people under stress. That is the baseline of what
is normal for anyone under this particular stress
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
