Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog

Is Twitter Use Linked to Infidelity and Divorce?

Is Twitter Use Linked to Infidelity and Divorce?

Yes! Read the research below that shows that active Twitter users are more likely to have conflict with their partners no matter how new or old their relationship is. I am not sure if it shows that using Twitter CAUSES the conflict. A causal relationship is harder to determine. It may be a symptom. This relates to my belief that too much use of technology effects our ability to have healthy, happy relationships. (Check out other posts on technology and the brain)

http://www.bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com/search/label/brain

http://www.bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com/search/label/techno%20devices

April 7, 2014 Source University of Missouri-Columbia

Summary:

Scientists found that active Twitter users are far more likely to experience Twitter–related conflict with their romantic partners. However, new research shows that Twitter use could actually be damaging to users' romantic relationships. Scientists found that active Twitter users are far more likely to experience Twitter-related conflict with their romantic partners.

Twitter and other social networking services have revolutionized the way people create and maintain relationships. However, new research shows that Twitter use could actually be damaging to users' romantic relationships. Russell Clayton, a doctoral student in the University of Missouri School of Journalism, found that active Twitter users are far more likely to experience Twitter-related conflict with their romantic partners. Clayton's results showed that Twitter-related conflict then leads to negative relationship outcomes, including emotional and physical cheating, breakup and divorce.

In his study, Clayton surveyed 581 Twitter users of all ages. Clayton asked participants questions about their Twitter use such as how often they login in to Twitter, tweet, scroll the Twitter newsfeed, send direct messages to others, and reply to followers. Clayton also asked how much, if any, conflict arose between participants' current or former partners as a result of Twitter use. For example, Clayton asked: "How often do you have an argument with your current or former partner because of too much Twitter use?" Clayton found that the more often a respondent reported being active on Twitter, the more likely they were to experience Twitter-related conflict with their partner, which then significantly predicted negative relationship outcomes such as cheating, breakup and divorce.

"The aim of this study was to examine whether the findings of Claytons' recent study, which concluded that Facebook use predicted Facebook-related conflict, which then led to breakup and divorce were consistent with another social networking site platform: Twitter."

In his previous research on Facebook, Clayton found that Facebook-related conflict and negative relationship outcomes were greater among couples in newer relationships of 36 months or less. In his new research regarding Twitter, Clayton found these outcomes occurred regardless of duration of relationship.

"I found it interesting that active Twitter users experienced Twitter-related conflict and negative relationship outcomes regardless of length of romantic relationship," Clayton said. "Couples who reported being in relatively new relationships experienced the same amount of conflict as those in longer relationships."

If Twitter users are experiencing Twitter-related conflict with their partner, Clayton recommends couples of all ages limit their daily and weekly use of social networking sites to more healthy, reasonable levels.

"Although a number of variables can contribute to relationship infidelity and separation, social networking site usage, such as Twitter and Facebook use, can be damaging to relationships," Clayton said. "Therefore, users should cut back to moderate, healthy levels of Twitter use if they are experiencing Twitter or Facebook -- related conflict. Some couples share joint social networking site accounts to reduce relationship conflict, and there are some social networking site apps, such as the 2Life app, that facilitates interpersonal communication between partners."

Story Source:

The above story is based on materials provided by University of Missouri-Columbia. Note: Materials may be edited for content and length.

Journal Reference:

1. Clayton et al. “The Third Wheel: The Impact of Twitter Use on Relationship Infidelity and Divorce. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 2014 DOI: 10.1089/yber.2013.0570

University of Missouri-Columbia. "Twitter use linked to infidelity and divorce." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 7 April 2014. 6.htm>.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Do Men Trade Their Status and Income for an Attractive Wife? Research says that 'Trophy Wife' Stereotype is Largely a Myth.

Do Men Trade Their Status and Income for an Attractive Wife?

Research says that 'Trophy wife' Stereotype is Largely a Myth.

Although this study was only done on young couples I wonder what the research would show about older rich men mate selection. Here is the research. I have highlighted the interesting sections.

Date: June 17, 2014
Source: University of Notre Dame

The trophy wife stereotype is largely a myth fueled by selective observation that reinforces sexist stereotypes and trivializes women's careers, researchers conclude. Research also indicates that, contrary to the trophy wife stereotype, social class barriers in the marriage market are relatively impermeable. Beautiful women are unlikely to leverage their looks to secure upward mobility by marriage.

Most people are familiar with the "trophy wife" stereotype that attractive women marry rich men, placing little importance on their other traits, including physical appearance, and that men look for pretty wives but don't care about their education or earnings.

New research, however, by University of Notre Dame Sociologist Elizabeth McClintock, shows the trophy wife stereotype is largely a myth fueled by selective observation that reinforces sexist stereotypes and trivializes women's careers.

In "Beauty and Status: The Illusion of Exchange in Partner Selection?" forthcoming in American Sociological Review, McClintock resolves the paradox between the trophy wife stereotype and the evidence that couples match on both physical attractiveness and socioeconomic status.

Using, for the first time, a nationally representative sample of young couples in which both partners were interviewed and rated for physical attractiveness, McClintock was able to control for matching on attractiveness. She says prior research in this area has ignored two important factors.

"I find that handsome men partner with pretty women and successful men partner with successful women," says McClintock, who specializes in inequality within romantic partnerships. "So, on average, high-status men do have better-looking wives, but this is because they themselves are considered better looking--perhaps because they are less likely to be overweight and more likely to afford braces, nice clothes and trips to the dermatologist, etc. Secondly, the strongest force by far in partner selection is similarity -- in education, race, religion and physical attractiveness."

McClintock's research shows that there is not, in fact, a general tendency for women to trade beauty for money. That is not to say trophy wife marriages never happen, just that they are very rare.

"Donald Trump and his third wife Melania Knauss-Trump may very well exemplify the trophy wife stereotype," McClintock says. "But, there are many examples of rich men who partner with successful women rather than 'buying' a supermodel wife.

The two men who founded Google (Larry Page and Sergey Brin) both married highly accomplished women -- one has a PhD and the other is a wealthy entrepreneur."

McClintock says the trophy wife stereotype is most often wrongly-applied among non- celebrities.

"I've heard doctors' wives referred to as trophy wives by observers who only notice her looks and his status and fail to realize that he is good-looking too and that she is also a successful professional--or was before she had kids and left her job," McClintock says.

McClintock's research also indicates that, contrary to the trophy wife stereotype, social class barriers in the marriage market are relatively impermeable. Beautiful women are unlikely to leverage their looks to secure upward mobility by marriage.

Story Source:

The above story is based on materials provided by University of Notre Dame. Note: Materials may be edited for content and length.

Journal Reference:

1. E. A. McClintock. Beauty and Status: The Illusion of Exchange in Partner Selection? American Sociological Review, 2014; DOI: 10.1177/0003122414536391

University of Notre Dame. "'Trophy wife' stereotype is largely a myth, new study shows." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 17 June 2014. .

Research on Kissing Shows That Men Report That They Get More Intimate Kisses from Their Female Partner While Women Report Half as Many Kisses Per Day Than Men.

Research on Kissing Shows That Men Report
That They Get More Intimate Kisses
from Their Female Partner
While Women Report Half as Many Kisses
Per Day Than Men.

74% of the men reported higher intimate kiss frequencies than the women of the same couple. This resulted in a reported average of ten kisses per day from the males, twice that of the female reported average of five per day.

There are gender differences in how many kisses we think we give and receive a day.

Story Source:

The above story is based on materials provided by BioMed Central. Note: Materials may be edited for content and length.

Journal Reference:

1. Remco Kort, Martien Caspers, Astrid van de Graaf, Wim van Egmond, Bart Keijser, Guus Roeselers. Shaping the oral microbiota through intimate kissing. Microbiome, 2014; 2 (1): 41 DOI: 10.1186/2049-2618-2-41

Make Your Hello and Goodbye Meaningful

As a body language expert, I agree with Therapist Randi Gunther about the true about the benefits of loving greetings and goodbyes between couples. She says:

Below is by Randi Gunther

When anyone you love leaves your presence for any reason, for any destination or for any period of time, don't ever just casually say goodbye. As you part, remember in your heart what your relationship means to you, always remembering that this could be the last time you might see each other. When you are given the blessing of their return, welcome that opportunity as the gift it is, another chance to live the relationship as you want it to become.

If you treat every leaving and greeting ritual with that kind of treasuring, you will also receive a wonderful bonus. The conscious intent to treasure saying "goodbye" and "hello" with the gratitude that should accompany both becomes the foundation for extending that appreciation to other parts of your relationship. With each fully appreciated reconnection, you are reminded to recommit to more successful interactions in the future and to leaving less helpful ones behind.

Below is her full article.

How You Say 'Hello' And 'Goodbye' -- A Meaningful Way To Evaluate Your Intimate Relationship By Randi Gunther

Posted: 03/16/2013 7:26 am EDT Updated: 05/16/2013 5:12 am EDT

When you open the front door to where your 2-year-old awaits your homecoming, you won't have a chance to put down whatever is in your hands, read the mail, go to the bathroom, make a phone call or leave the spot at which you are attacked with voracious affection. That small child doesn't care about anything but full body contact and feeling secure once more within your arms.

Similarly, when you separate from that small child, you can expect the same level of passion, though it is likely to be more of an intense protest. Not having the understanding or temporal ability to go forward in time, he or she fears you will never return, and will use every possible tactic to keep you there as long as possible. The woeful cries you hear are earnest and desperate, as is the anxiety that accompanies them. In some core place in that child's heart, you might disappear.

New-love adult partners have very emotional responses when they gratefully reunite after time apart or when they must be away from each other for any period of time. Even though there is a high probability they will see each other again, they know it is not an absolute certainty. Until they are reconnected and can integrate what has happened while they were separated, they will stay in each others' presence until adequately reunited. Distractions and other priorities will wait their turn.

The intensity of emotion the partners feel in their connecting and separating rituals also has great power to heal any problems they may be experiencing in their relationship. The quality of their attachment when they are away from each other is mirrored by the renewed value both feel when they reconnect. That important resource and its accompanying confidence motivate those couples to resolve their problems as soon as they occur. Most newly-in-love couples cannot even bear going to sleep with unresolved conflict between them. The small child still remaining in both of them must be reaffirmed before they can rest.

Unfortunately, as intimate relationships mature, many partners let these important rituals diminish or lapse entirely. Couples who once made clear that their sacred, intimate reconnection and separation experiences were top priority sadly allow them to diminish in importance. More pressing priorities emerge and many couples take for granted what they once carefully treasured. Now, at the end of their day they are more likely to: check emails, return crucial texts, leave for the gym, attend to family demands, grab a beer or glass of wine, or do whatever else has now taken precedence.

Even when they finally do reconnect, couples who once ached for the time they would see each other again often only have energy left to share their day's most important frustrations and achievements. Leaving each other at the beginning of a new day bares a painful, almost impersonal, similarity. Sharing their plans for the coming day while rushing to meet separate obligations, the partners only have time to exchange inquiries and reminders of what they must each accomplish before they see each other again.

Recreating Sacred Attachments

I have counseled couples of all ages and at every stage of their relationships for almost four decades. Though most partners come asking for help with long-standing relationship issues, some are in shock and deep grief when an unexpected tragedy has struck. The sadness of an irrevocable loss without warning leaves the other partner shattered and totally unprepared. He or she must not only suffer the trauma of that event, but also the anguishing regrets of reconnection opportunities now forever lost. In the depths of sorrow, those left grieving often ache for just one more chance to say, do, or take back something they did.

I have often been given the privilege of being included in these sorrowful moments. Those experiences have given me a gift I may otherwise not have known as deeply. I have learned to honor and treasure one of life's most precious existential truths: the guarantee of security is only an illusion and the future is not predictable. That conscious knowledge inspires me to make the decision to treasure what is until it is not, and to share that perspective with my patients who still have each other.

When anyone you love leaves your presence for any reason, for any destination or for any period of time, don't ever just casually say goodbye. As you part, remember in your heart what your relationship means to you, always remembering that this could be the last time you might see each other. When you are given the blessing of their return, welcome that opportunity as the gift it is, another chance to live the relationship as you want it to become.

I routinely ask my couples about their separating and greeting rituals. It is so clear to me now that those couples who have continued to practice them with the same intimacy and gratitude they felt at the beginning of their relationship have stayed in love in ways that most mature couples do not experience. They have never lessened their awareness of the blessing of having another chance to be together again.

They are also careful not to undervalue those moments by repetitive, obligatory interactions. Those automatic, more superficial behaviors can actually create more impersonal connections. Couples who have not forgotten to treasure the blessing of continuing their relationship, practice their separation and connection rituals with the same sincerity and devotion as they did when their love was new. They have discovered the core wisdom that not only love is precious and that it can be taken from them at any time, but that being fully present in parting and reconnecting with their loved ones reconfirms what they mean to each other while they are still together.

We are not just the age we are in the present. We are all the ages we've ever been, with each past moment ready to reemerge when called upon. When you were first in love, you met and left each other with the same level of passion and enthusiasm that you hopefully felt as a child when someone you loved with all of your heart came back into your life. If you can recommit to that same cherishing enthusiasm you knew then, you will never feel as if times past are more precious than those you create in the present.

Research Shows That Hugs Help Protect Against Stress. Can Hugs Help You Fight a Cold?

Research Shows That Hugs Help Protect Against Stress. Can Hugs Help You Fight a Cold?

I love Thursday nights. On Thursday nights I meet with the group of friends for a Current Events and Hot Topics Discussion Group. We have been meeting for many years so we greet each other with warm welcoming hugs. As I said I love those hugs. Below is the latest research on the health benefits of hugging.

When I taught body language at Florida State my students called me Dr. Hugs (I had not gotten my PHD) because after my lectures on the benefits of touch they might open up their arms to give or get a hug from myself and fellow students. Today, I fear I might get in trouble for encouraging warm, nonthreatening hugs on campus. That’s a shame as recent research shows that hugs can be beneficial to our health. My original doctoral dissertation was on touch, so I am always searching for and reading the latest research on the benefits of touch and my book SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma Book Website has a chapter on hugging and has more information on my Website.

Here is the latest research on the health benefits of hugging.

Date: December 17, 2014

Source: Carnegie Mellon University

Summary:

Researchers tested whether hugs act as a form of social support, protecting stressed people from getting sick. They found that greater social support and more frequent hugs protected people from the increased susceptibility to infection associated with being stressed and resulted in less severe illness symptoms.

Mother hugging her daughter (stock image). Researchers found that greater social support and more frequent hugs protected people from the increased susceptibility to infection associated with being stressed and resulted in less severe illness symptoms.

Instead of an apple, could a hug-a-day keep the doctor away? According to new research from Carnegie Mellon University, that may not be that far-fetched of an idea.

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Led by Sheldon Cohen, the Robert E. Doherty University Professor of Psychology in CMU's Dietrich College of Humanities and Social Sciences, the researchers tested whether hugs act as a form of social support, protecting stressed people from getting sick. Published in Psychological Science, they found that greater social support and more frequent hugs protected people from the increased susceptibility to infection associated with being stressed and resulted in less severe illness symptoms.

Cohen and his team chose to study hugging as an example of social support because hugs are typically a marker of having a more intimate and close relationship with another person.

"We know that people experiencing ongoing conflicts with others are less able to fight off cold viruses. We also know that people who report having social support are partly protected from the effects of stress on psychological states, such as depression and anxiety," said Cohen. "We tested whether perceptions of social support are equally effective in protecting us from stress-induced susceptibility to infection and also whether receiving hugs might partially account for those feelings of support and themselves protect a person against infection."

In 404 healthy adults, perceived support was assessed by a questionnaire, and frequencies of interpersonal conflicts and receiving hugs were derived from telephone interviews conducted on 14 consecutive evenings. Then, the participants were intentionally exposed to a common cold virus and monitored in quarantine to assess infection and signs of illness.

The results showed that perceived social support reduced the risk of infection associated with experiencing conflicts. Hugs were responsible for one-third of the protective effect of social support. Among infected participants, greater perceived social support and more frequent hugs both resulted in less severe illness symptoms whether or not they experienced conflicts.

"This suggests that being hugged by a trusted person may act as an effective means of conveying support and that increasing the frequency of hugs might be an effective means of reducing the deleterious effects of stress," Cohen said. "The apparent protective effect of hugs may be attributable to the physical contact itself or to hugging being a behavioral indicator of support and intimacy."

Cohen added, "Either way, those who receive more hugs are somewhat more protected from infection."

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Is Twitter Use Linked to Infidelity and Divorce?

Do Men Trade Their Status and Income for an Attractive Wife? Research says that 'Trophy Wife' Stereotype is Largely a Myth.

Research on Kissing Shows That Men Report That They Get More Intimate Kisses from Their Female Partner While Women Report Half as Many Kisses Per Day Than Men.

Make Your Hello and Goodbye Meaningful

Make Your Hello and Goodbye Meaningful

Research Shows That Hugs Help Protect Against Stress. Can Hugs Help You Fight a Cold?

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