Watching an Awkward Movie with Your Parents or Family Members The Body Language of Awkward Family Movies

Watching an Awkward Movie with Your Parents or Family Members The Body Language of Awkward Family Movies

What's the most awkward movie you've seen with your parents/siblings, etc.?

Have you ever watched a movie that had perhaps violence or sexy content with your parents or anyone else and it made you or them uncomfortable? How did they handle it? How did you handle it?

I saw two movies with my mom in the last few years that were squirm worthy. She is in her 90’s and enjoys a great comedy and good drama. She had a really hard time with the condom scene in, “Knocked Up” and was squirming.  I am so use to watching movies with sexual humor that I forgot I was going to be watching the movie with my mom.

My mom had such a hard time talking about sex that when I went off to grad school after my father died, having never had the “talk” my mom, who was so naïve, had to screw up her courage to blurt out her first comment recognizing that I might have premarital sex by saying, “Make sure you wear a condominium.” Yes, you read that right. I am a female and I was told to wear a several story building. Of course I was naive as well, the last nonalcoholic virgin to graduate from Florida State, so I had never even gone to the condominiums aisle of the drug store. Smile.

But I forgot I was with my mom again and we are watching another movie with the family and she was squirming, tapping her hand on the sofa arm, averting her gaze from the screen and huffing so much in the first part that I realized there is no way my mom can watch “The Kids are Alright” we had to change the channel. Ah well.

Another family dilemma is watching a movie or drama on TV with my brother-in-law.

I have known my brother-in-law since I was 4 years old. He and my sister were friends in their teens, and they dated other people in High School.

Recently we were watching the fabulous film, “The Best Offer” and realized I was uncomfortable watching the love scenes with my sister and brother-in-law on the Barco lounges next to me!  I had curled up into a little ball on the sofa and was making faces. I was really uncomfortable. I think I was also creeped out by the old guy, young girl together.

By the way, I am always tense watching the TV show, “The Masters of Sex.”

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

What does it Mean When a Dog Tilts its Head? Dog Body Language and a Doggy Head Tilt

What does it Mean When a Dog Tilts its Head?

Dog Body Language and a Doggy Head Tilt

As a body language expert and the former spokesperson for PupPeroni Dog Treats I have studied human and dog body language for many years.

A head tilt in a dog can be a sign of submission. A dog’s head can be held even and high to show power and confidence. Even and balanced to show neutrality. When the dog’s head tilt is extreme, that is when the neck is exposed and the head is down really far, it is a signal to dogs or people they perceive as Alpha that, “You are more powerful and I bare my neck to show you that you could bite me and take me down in a fight.”

It can also be a signal of submission, “I don’t understand what you want, Pet Parent.” This signal is tied to their desire to understand what you, their pet parent, desire. When compared with other animals, a dog’s ability to "read” humans is highly accurate. Dogs try very hard to figure out what we want and please us. Dogs pick up information from the subtlest hand gestures and even understand the meaning of a human glance and other facial expressions and vocal variations.  Researchers believe that over centuries there’s been direct selection for dogs with the ability to read social cues in humans, highlighting its importance. They are actually more accurate at reading human body language than chimpanzees.

FYI

A dog shows his confidence and openness to interact by standing with his:

1. Head high, Ears up
2. Mouth open
3. Posture relaxed, loose legs stance, weight flat on his paws

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

John Travolta, Kanye West, Joe Biden and Other Guys Who Touch Women in Weird, Inappropriate Ways

I did an interview for Yahoo Style on the inappropriate ways that men are touching women.  You can read my insights below highlighted in yellow.  I have also put the link to the actual article below.

https://www.yahoo.com/style/john-travolta-kanye-west-and-joe-biden-and-other-111997626153.html

John Travolta, Kanye West, Joe Biden and Other Guys Who Touch Women in Weird, Inappropriate Ways

There were many touching moments at Sunday night’s Oscars: Imitation Game screenwriter Graham Moore’s admitting to trying to kill himself at 16 and telling all the other weird kids out there to “stay weird.” The teary hug and kiss between Lady Gaga and Julie Andrews after Gaga’s stunning Sound of Music medley. And of course Common and John Legend’s heartrending performance of “Glory” from Selma, with Legend telling the audience, “Selma is now.”

Joe Biden cameos in one of several memes inspired by John Travolta’s Oscar night antics.

But at least two “touching” moments were downright, well, icky—both of them involving John Travolta. First, on the red carpet, he kissed ScarJo and cupped her midriff in a way that might have been tender and sweet if the two were married— to each other. Then later, while charmingly being upbraided onstage by Idina Menzel for mangling her name at last year’s Oscars, he held her too close, cupped her cheek in his hand and close-talked her. Ew.

Alas, Travolta’s tactile malfunctions were just the latest in a seemingly undying string of high-profile men inappropriately touching women in public, televised settings. Last week, vice-president Joe Biden got dubbed once again “America’s Creepy Uncle” when, for a cringe-worthy 20 seconds during the swearing-in of new defense secretary Ash Carter, Biden kept his hands on the shoulders of Carter’s wife, Stephanie, then whispered in her ear. And who can forget the 2006 G8 conference at which then-president George Bush stepped behind the seated German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, and shoulder-rubbed her? (Merkel raised her arms in horror.)

Looking back on past Oscars, was Adrien Brody’s understandable elation in 2003 for just having won Best Actor for “The Pianist” justification for his planting a long, powerful, passionate kiss on Halle Berry, who was presenting the award? (Watch the video; Berry looks stunned—and not happily. Creepily, Brody tops off his kiss by telling her, “I bet they didn’t tell you that was in the gift bag.”)

Of course, you might say, oh please, it’s Hollywood, it’s all entertainment and titillation. But according to some experts, male-on-female touching is still driven by male obliviousness toward personal-space boundaries and toward issues of power, even in a limelight-drenched setting. “I did years of sexual harrassment training,” says body-language expert Patti Wood. "The problem was that guys didn’t know they were doing something wrong and the only thing that worked was when women told them, ‘I don’t like that—stop.’ All the men who got word stopped immediately. Women thought the nonverbal messages they were giving, such as leaning away or tensing, was enough, but it wasn’t."

Of course, when you’re live on TV in front of an estimated 34.6 million viewers, saying “stop” can be hard to do. And that’s where issues of power, not just “silly fun,” come into the picture. Referring to Travolta’s cupping Menzel’s face in his hand, Wood says, “That gesture usually connotes to someone that they are really precious to you, but it’s also something a parent does to a child. It’s a way of saying ‘I’m more powerful than you.’” So for Travolta to do that to Menzel when she was sending him up for last year’s gaffe suggested it was “a bizarre, passive-aggressive way to quiet her,” says Wood.

So what are the do’s and don’ts of man-on-woman public touching? There are none, says etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore. “It all depends on your relationship with the person and on the situation,” she says. Biden’s touching the defense secretary’s wife as he did was out of bounds, says Whitmore, because the swearing-in was “a business, not a social, situation, with cameras running.”

But is an awards ceremony a business situation? “That’s a gray area,” she says. “They’re there to party, but then again, they’re viewed as role models and people are watching.”

And the message people may be taking away is, if men feel entitled to touch women in such a proprietary manner before the whole world, what must many men still feel entitled to do in an unobserved setting? It’s especially confusing now that millennials have brought hugging from high school into work settings, says Wood, who suggests that both men and women restrict touch in work settings to the classic handshake and, if they feel compelled to express warmth or bonding after having gotten to know someone, go no further than brief, light fingertips to the elbow or forearm. “That’s the safe zone,” she says.

John Travolta earned himself a spot in an already circulating Kanye West meme.

And Kanye West, who is famous for following his own code of conduct recently posed at the Grammys with both hands squarely on the notorious, Gaultier-clad booty of his wife, Kim Kardashian— much as he once publicly squeezed the butt of Amber Rose, now his ex. “There’s been way more men’s hands on women’s butts in photos the past ten years,” notes Wood. “A few years ago, you’d only do that to a prostitute, not your mate. There was a taboo, because that touch said that sex to the rear was probably going on in the relationship. But now people almost think it’s charming.”

Just one rule, there, says Wood: Make sure that woman whose butt your grabbing in that photo is your wife or girlfriend—and make sure she’s okay with it.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

People Watching a Couple in their 70’s Love at Any Age

People Watching a Couple in their 70’s
 Love at Any Age

My former fiancé and I used to people watch together and we'd watch couples and family members and make up stories about them.

One day we saw a couple in their 70s and they were so gentle and tentative with each other. The gentleman helped her to the table. He took out her chair for her and helped her sit down. They seemed so sweet and caring of one another. As they ate, they couldn't keep their eyes off each other.  They would reach across the table to touch as they talked. It was quite beautiful to watch.
We wondered how a couple that had been together so many years could be so sweet to each other.  Then, we couldn't help ourselves,and had to go over and introduce ourselves to the couple. We found out that they were actually on a first date. They had known each other peripherally for years and we're finally going out.

It reminds me that you could have love and tenderness at any age and you should never give up searching and trying for love.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Time and Touch are Strong Nonverbal Communicators

Time and Touch are Strong Nonverbal Communicators

I visit my mother in her assisted living facility. One day I saw an entire family get out of the van and help their mother/grandmother get out of the van. They all needed to help and they all needed to touch her and they all wanted to talk to her and hug her one last time.  They weren't in a hurry, they didn't just stay in the car and watch her get out.  They didn't rush off like so many families do. It reminded me to slow down when I'm with my mother to take care and linger in our love. 

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.