Clip from a great movie, "I'll See You In My Dreams" My favorite movie at the Atlanta Film Festival
A Movie Review of "I'll See You In My Dreams"
It is a rare treat to see a movie about nice people. A movie with the title character that is a woman of depth and not just over 25 but over 70! It's rare to see a great film that is about friendship, love, and loss, and not about a murderer, druggie, weird loner, sex addict, immature loser, or narcissist. A movie starring a single woman that does not make her deceased husband or the guy she is dating a jerk! Thank God for this funny, and touching movie that lets me know that we can still find a movie about tenderness. I saw a row of 20 year old guys and 40 year old lighting engineers laugh really hard during this movie, so don't mistake it for a chick flick. It was written and directed by the 30 year old Brett Haley, (yes a guy). Brett shared with us at Q&A after the film at the Atlanta Film Festival that they did the whole film in 18 days on a budget of $450,000. That is absolutely amazing! Note the final song sung in the film written by the sound guy on the movie, its absolutely perfect. The film will be in limited release in theaters in May of 2015.
The body language and other nonverbal communication is wonderful in this clip. Notice Sam's eye contact. His eyes linger on her and he smiles. He truly sees her. Notice how she touches her clothing in self comfort as she asks if she is dressed appropriately.
If you see the movie in its entirety notice the silences. There are very few movies these days that are comfortable having characters interact in a long intimate sometimes exquisitely comfortable or painfully awkward silence. (Unless one of the characters has a gun and is hunting the other one!)
When I taught body language at Florida State each semester I had my students write a one page paper on how silence was used to communicate in one of their relationships. I read 100 fascinating papers each semester! Think about how you or your loved ones and or work mates use silence to communicate.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
Great Version of Boom Clap That I am Obsessed With Today!
Just saw Lennon & Maisy on the View and I am obsessed with their cover of "Boom Clap." Notice the way they sweetly look at each other, as it shows true, kind and loving body language.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
The 5 Best Dating Tips for Short Guys
Patti was interviewed by Men's Health Magazine on dating tips
for short guys. Please see Patti's tips highlighted in yellow below. At the end of the article is the link to the actual article in
Men's Health.
The 5 Best Dating Tips for Short Guys
Don’t let your height hold you back. Use these simple strategies
to impress every woman you meet
IMAGES BY THINKSTOCK
Coming up short in the dating world? Ladies prefer men who
are a whopping 8 inches taller than they are, according to a recent Dutch
study. With the average American female standing at 5’5”, that puts the bar at
6’1”.
Why does she prefer a Blake Griffin over a Tom Cruise? Blame evolution—not her, says Tracy Thomas, Ph.D., a San Francisco-based relationship therapist. Taller men would have made better protectors back in caveman days, so women evolved a taste for them, Thomas says. (Primal attraction works both ways: It’s Why You’re an Ass Man, too.)
But don’t fret: Not only are there some major Scientific, but you also can get a leg up with these smart dating tips.
Why does she prefer a Blake Griffin over a Tom Cruise? Blame evolution—not her, says Tracy Thomas, Ph.D., a San Francisco-based relationship therapist. Taller men would have made better protectors back in caveman days, so women evolved a taste for them, Thomas says. (Primal attraction works both ways: It’s Why You’re an Ass Man, too.)
But don’t fret: Not only are there some major Scientific, but you also can get a leg up with these smart dating tips.
Add inches—in the right
places—with your wardrobe.
The wrong clothing can
make you look pint-sized, but the right rags can lengthen your look, says Brock
McGoff of short-guy style blog The Modest Man. The first rule: Get your
pants hemmed and your sleeves shortened, McGoff says. Bunched fabric around
your wrists and ankles will only draw attention to your smaller stature.
Next, avoid wearing anything that breaks up your frame visually. A streamlined look from top to bottom can help elongate your body, says McGoff. If your pants will stay put, lose the belt—or wear a slim one that’s the same color as your pants. Go for monochromatic color schemes like dark jeans and a dark shirt instead of dark jeans and a white shirt.
Next, avoid wearing anything that breaks up your frame visually. A streamlined look from top to bottom can help elongate your body, says McGoff. If your pants will stay put, lose the belt—or wear a slim one that’s the same color as your pants. Go for monochromatic color schemes like dark jeans and a dark shirt instead of dark jeans and a white shirt.
Don’t let your insecurity
get the best of you.
Confidence is key to
making a good first impression, says Beverly Hills-based psychiatrist Carole
Lieberman, M.D. If you assume right off the bat that she won’t like you because
of your height, she probably will be turned
off—by your insecurity, Dr. Lieberman says. To feel more confident,
remember the qualities that make you a catch and draw her focus to them,
advises Dr. Lieberman. Are you a graphic artist who designs his own T-shirts?
Wear your creation. Caring family man? Tie on that friendship bracelet your
niece made you. MVP of your softball league? Don your team cap.
Flirt without saying a
word.
Too much eye contact can scare off women—it’s usually a
menacing gesture, says Patti Wood, author of SNAP: Making the Most of First
Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma. But shorter guys can get
away with it because their height makes them less threatening, Wood says.
Holding her gaze for longer than 3 seconds—without towering over her—reads as pure attraction, Wood says. “She’ll think, ‘Wow, this guy is really into me,’” she says. It can be intense to stare right into someone’s eyes, so you may want to practice in non-romantic situations like with waiters or cashiers, Wood suggests. But remember: The goal is to show your interest—not creep her out. Don’t pry your eyes open wide like an owl. Keep it natural.
Holding her gaze for longer than 3 seconds—without towering over her—reads as pure attraction, Wood says. “She’ll think, ‘Wow, this guy is really into me,’” she says. It can be intense to stare right into someone’s eyes, so you may want to practice in non-romantic situations like with waiters or cashiers, Wood suggests. But remember: The goal is to show your interest—not creep her out. Don’t pry your eyes open wide like an owl. Keep it natural.
You get an extra
half-inch, but that’s it.
As tempting as it may
be, don’t fudge your height in your online dating profile, says Julie Spira,
author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a
Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Think about it: You
wouldn’t want her to blatantly lie about her weight, would you? It’s okay
to ditch decimals and round up to the nearest inch, Spira says, but don’t fib
more than that. Your ultimate mission is to meet your match in person, and you
don’t want her looking for the 5’9” guy you claimed to be on your profile if
you’re only 5’5”. She’ll notice. And your dishonesty will make you seem
insecure, Spira says.
Speak her body language.
Men tend to stand side by side when getting to know each
other. That’s because when a guy faces you head-on, it’s intimidating, Wood
says. But women bond face to face because they don’t have to worry about
seeming like a threat. Here’s where your less imposing stature comes in
handy: Wood says shorter guys can get away with addressing women head-on and
not intimidate them like taller men would. Next time you flirt, stand
face to face. It’s a subtle change, but it’ll make her more comfortable opening
up because that’s how she’s used to bonding, Wood says.
.
.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
Testimonials From Patti Wood's Clients
Testimonials
from Clients of Patti Wood, Speaker, Trainer and Body Language Expert
Your Evaluations were Outstanding and Filled with Superlatives
“The comments from your keynote
evaluations where outstanding and filled with superlatives including repeated comments such as , “ Awesome,
Fascinating, Energetic, Informative, Highly Recommend, Amazing, Very Dynamic,
Exceeded Expectations, Captivating, Fantastic, Very Engaging, Fun, Energizing,
Just Terrific, Loved the interaction, Wonderful, Great information, Very
Entertaining.” There was even one of our
favorites, “…so honored to learn from the best of the best!“
Stephanie Gunner
National Alliance for Grieving Children
National Alliance for Grieving Children
Program and Communications
Coordinator
Fantastic Presentation…
“It' been almost a week since your
presentation and the team is still buzzing. Your presentation was
fantastic. We've received great feedback from all levels of Management,
our Account Executives and support staff that was in attendance. I was
very pleased to see the long line at your book signing and the multiple
questions that came with it. We were also extremely pleased with the way
you seamlessly incorporated our objectives and theme into your
presentation. It was like you were working with us for weeks.
I've been in the business world almost 30 years and never
quite knew the proper protocol on how, when or how long to shake a woman's
hand. I now can confidently do this.”
Scott Bloom
Director, Optimum Business Sales Operations
Cablevision
Director, Optimum Business Sales Operations
Cablevision
Fresh, Motivating
and Funny…highly recommend Patti...
“…one month later I am still
getting comments from satisfied members who attended her body language
symposium. She was fresh, motivating, and funny. She has a knack for making her point in a way
you won’t forget. Her simple tools to enhance the first impression you
give are invaluable. I walked into a member office the other day and
laughed as two of the attendees to Patti’s class were standing there talking
about one of Patti’s techniques!” “We enjoyed all of our
speakers, but few stay with you like Patti does! We highly recommend
using Patti Wood as your next speaker.”
Libby Sheard,
E-PRO
Little Rock REALTORS® Association
Absolutely
Fantastic…A Joy to Watch in Action…
“I just wanted to thank you so much for coming and speaking
to our members. You were absolutely fantastic and a joy to watch in
action. We hope to have you back very soon….
Dana Earl
Operations
Administrator
Greater Albuquerque Association of REALTORS®
Greater Albuquerque Association of REALTORS®
An
Ultimate Professional
“I am writing to say that I have had the privilege
of working with Patti Wood on two separate occasions for our
GFOA-PA Annual Conferences. I have never before seen an audience on their
feet within 5 minutes after the speaker took the microphone!
Patti has an amazing knack for involving every
single attendee. And they have such a great time! She has people
who have never met before sharing information, learning about and from
each other.
The first time I worked with Patti, she was
virtually an unknown to our group. Within 30 minutes after Patti
ended her presentation, I was told by the committee that we had to have her
return again the next year. When Patti is on the Agenda, I know that my
attendance is going to increase.
Patti is the ultimate professional who takes time
to learn about her audience and their professional needs so that she can
customize her remarks to assure that the audience can relate.
I am happy to entertain any questions and will
happily offer personal recommendations to anyone who may be considering working
with Patti Wood. I can assure you, it is a win-win situation.”
R. Keith McNally
GFOA-PA Program Coordinator
GFOA-PA Program Coordinator
I Don’t Think I’ve Seen Our Group Laugh So Much!
“On behalf of the New Mexico Court Reporters
Association, I would like to sincerely thank you for a wonderfully entertaining
and engaging show! Everyone truly enjoyed your spirited presentation on body
language. I don't think I've ever seen our group laugh so much! Thank you so
much for sharing your expertise with us!”
Vanessa Arrieta,
NM CCR, RPR Past President NMCRA
Vanessa Arrieta,
NM CCR, RPR Past President NMCRA
Incredible Energy…
“Thank you so much for bringing your incredible energy and wonderful knowledge to us. I’ve been sharing some of your stories all week with co-workers! “
“Thank you so much for bringing your incredible energy and wonderful knowledge to us. I’ve been sharing some of your stories all week with co-workers! “
Susan Y. Shen
Deloitte Consulting LLP
Hired Patti Over 40
Times!
"I have hired Patti Wood over forty times to kick-off my seminars around the country and plan to use her six more times this year. She gets my audiences energized, focused and she teaches them skills that they can incorporate in their work life immediately. The first thing my audience members ask me when they're deciding on whether to register is, 'Is Patti going to be there?'" Yes she is!
Jeff Justice Seminars
"I have hired Patti Wood over forty times to kick-off my seminars around the country and plan to use her six more times this year. She gets my audiences energized, focused and she teaches them skills that they can incorporate in their work life immediately. The first thing my audience members ask me when they're deciding on whether to register is, 'Is Patti going to be there?'" Yes she is!
Jeff Justice Seminars
Awesome Job…
You did an awesome job! An entire day of you giving keynotes in a studio for us. I think we have enough information captured to truly give us what we need for your videos. Now begins the edit process. We have so much great information from you that it will be difficult to decide what stays and what goes. We reported out to Richard and Ashley yesterday, and everyone felt that you showed up great on camera and delivered (as usual). I’m looking forward to April as well (When you are live with us again). Take care Patti, and rest easy knowing you did a great job for us!
Kenny Simon
Emersonhc.com
You did an awesome job! An entire day of you giving keynotes in a studio for us. I think we have enough information captured to truly give us what we need for your videos. Now begins the edit process. We have so much great information from you that it will be difficult to decide what stays and what goes. We reported out to Richard and Ashley yesterday, and everyone felt that you showed up great on camera and delivered (as usual). I’m looking forward to April as well (When you are live with us again). Take care Patti, and rest easy knowing you did a great job for us!
Kenny Simon
Emersonhc.com
The Best
Conference because of You…
“….I heard …. our participants saying this years “Gathering
of Eagles Conference” was the best and that’s because of YOU!”
Dr. Penelope Schmidt
Executive Director of
Advancement & Foundation South
Wiregrass Georgia
Technical College
Outstanding Keynote…
“Thank you for your outstanding keynote presentation to kick
off our Credit Insurer's Association meeting. The participants said you were
excellent. You built up interest and momentum from your high energy session
which carried throughout our meeting. The two days were abuzz with comments
that showed how much fun they had and how much they learned such as "Did
you see him put his hands in his pockets!" and "I cross my arms to
think but, I'm not ADD." You really made a lasting impression. People came up to me and said they wanted more of you and
“we could listen to Patti all day. “ I really appreciate you motivating our group. We are hoping we
can have you back some time in the future so check your calendar.”
Beth Kastigar
Credit Insurers
Association
Incredibly interesting…
“Great
to listen to you and soak up so many great and valuable pointers on people and
interactions. It was incredibly interesting. I thank you for presenting so
masterfully and sincerely.”.
Kate Carpenter
Stowe Kitchen Bath and Linens
Kate Carpenter
Stowe Kitchen Bath and Linens
We Could Have Listened to You For Several Hours More!
On behalf of my entire Builder 20 group I would like to thank you for a wonderful presentation Friday morning. It was very informative and we could have easily listened to you for several more hours.
Brian Builder 20
Group
You Have a Wonderful Way About You!
Didn't want this day to end without telling you how much the group and I enjoyed listening to you, learning from you and watching that body language! You have a wonderful way about you.
Mary Jo IHG
Best Presentation …
“I
just wanted to say thank you for an excellent presentation at last week's
entrepreneur expo. It was easily one of the best presentations and information
sessions I have ever seen. I learned a lot about body language and the funny
thing was that you start to see examples of it everywhere. From being at a bar
talking with some friends to working with potential clients, it was just
eye-opening to see how accurate your information was…”
Billy Gallagher
Florida Web Presence, LLC
Billy Gallagher
Florida Web Presence, LLC
Engaging…Enthusiastic
and Insightful…
“Thank you so much for such an engaging program last night” “We were treated to an intimate, captivating gathering.” I wish I'd taken your program years ago and over and above anything else paid attention to my own 'gut'. Thank you for your enthusiasm and insights about so much.”
“Thank you so much for such an engaging program last night” “We were treated to an intimate, captivating gathering.” I wish I'd taken your program years ago and over and above anything else paid attention to my own 'gut'. Thank you for your enthusiasm and insights about so much.”
Lynn Cromer
Awesome…
“I thought your training was awesome! I will pass your information on to our Top Directors and Nationals at our next meeting and suggest they schedule an event for you to come in and talk to all of us.”
Linda Morris Future Director Mary Kay Cosmetics
You’re fantastic…
I have never been to a more delightful or interesting
presentation. I started practicing what I learned and I just can't believe the
difference it has made in such a short time. I am so glad you will be back next
year; I am bringing friends to hear you speak. Thank you for the book, I have
already started reading it. It really reinforces your presentation and makes a
great reference manual too! Good luck and thank you.”
Patty Griffin
San Antonio Program
Patti is a rare
individual…
“Patti is a rare individual…warm, funny, and so
knowledgeable….you can really learn from her. Her programs are A1.”
Vickie Okoro
Patti’s Audience Members Rave
About her Body Language Keynotes and Deception
Detection Training
Excellent & informative Presentation…
“Thank you so much for such an excellent and informative
presentation! Your enthusiasm about the subject is contagious….Thanks again for
such an awesome presentation!”
Susan Meyer
UCB Pharm Group
You were Superb…
“You were superb!!!!! Thank you for the insight and the
wonderful suggestions.”
Lynne A. Harper RN C
COHN Manager
The Coca Cola Company
Amazing…
“Patti's workshop on Deception was amazing. The next day I
looked at video clips of the politicians she mentioned. Then I stopped people in the locker room and
at book group to tell them about Patti and her insights. Can't wait to use her tips with eHarmony
matches! I'm getting a group together togo to Patti's workshop on Body Language.”
Marilyn Harris
Detecting Deception
Class
What Participants
said about Patti Wood’s Presentation Skills Training
Hold on to Your Seats…
“Hold on to your seats! If you want to improve your
presentation skills, Patti Ann Wood is the person to help. She will teach you
how to grab your audience. Patti Wood is Excellent! You were the top rated speaker at our conference.
Denise Crowe
CSPA
Patti is the
Person to Help You…
If you need to be a better speaker Patti Wood is the person
to help you. She will teach you how to grab your audience with tricks to hold your audience and help you
build your presentation. Don't book her for just half a day, or one day as the audience wants to
interact with her. Patti will WOW you!!”
Ana Woerner RN BS
COHN-S
AAOHN Program
·
Excellent! Has boosted my self-confidence 100 %.
·
The seminar was excellent!
I noticed a big change in everyone's presentation skills between the
first and second day.
·
The best seminar I have ever attended. The class exceeded my expectations, gave me
effective and valuable tools to use, and increased my confidence in handling
future presentations.
·
Outstanding course! I've
never had so much fun while learning so much.
·
Everyone no matter how experienced needs this class!
·
It was great
to hear you speak today, and you made a fantastic first impression on all of
us!
·
I feel like I will definitely be a better speaker following this
class.
·
This course was very beneficial.
It helped to give me great confidence in doing future presentations. I will greatly recommend this class to all my
peers. I especially enjoyed the body
language section.
·
The Easy Speaking class has given me hot tips for future
presentations. Please note that this
class was very beneficial. Going
forward--I have gained more confidence by coming to this class.
·
I expected to be bored and scared instead the
course was interesting, well presented, informative and fun. I will use the ideas for years to come.
·
What an enjoyable
experience! Even though I came to the class both days “under the weather” (I
have the flu), you made the days exciting and kept my energy level up. I
learned things about presenting I never realized – I always thought “Power
Point – less” presentations would be dry.
In fact, I know now the exact opposite is true! I am certain that I will
surprise the people I present to from now on (especially those who have heard
me before!)
·
After years
of feeling my presentations were boring, I feel that I can now make my
executive presentations dynamic!
·
Great
program. I liked your use of various
activities to keep the audience stimulated and focused.
·
Patti's
enthusiasm for her subject matter is contagious! Her memory will be etched in me based on her
memorable stories and speaking experience.
·
I never saw
a speech presented in so novel and unique a way – which met me in my primitive
brain and it lodged in the hemispheres.
·
Fantastic
enthusiasm and knowledge of subject. I
would highly recommend your seminar to other groups.
·
It was the
best “two days” of training I’ve seen – in fact, I got more out of it than
other longer classes.
·
I cannot
possibly make any suggestions for improvement! My head is still spinning from
all of the great information I learned in two days. More importantly, you proved that it is not a
very difficult task to do a good speech.
This was the best training class I’ve ever attended – regardless of the
discipline! Thanks a million!!!
·
I am looking
forward to my next opportunity to speak in front of a group, so I can try out all
of these great lessons! Two days ago, I
wouldn’t believe I’d ever say that!
·
This was the
best instructional class I’ve ever had.
·
I have to be
honest and tell you when I got the email to be in class from 8:30-6:00, my
first thought was OH MY GOD, what a long day.
But you do a great job of making learning fun, easy, energetic and the
time just flew.
·
You are
really good at what you do and you enjoy it and it shows! Thank you very much
for the useful tips and tricks. I’ll use
them in my future training classes.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
9 Ways to Be an Incredibly Likable Interviewee
Patti was interviewed by US News and World Report for body language tips on how to be an incredible likable interviewee. See her tips highlighted in yellow below.
Actual article link: http://money.usnews.com/money/careers/articles/2015/03/11/9-ways-to-be-an-incredibly-likable-interviewee
Actual article link: http://money.usnews.com/money/careers/articles/2015/03/11/9-ways-to-be-an-incredibly-likable-interviewee
9
Ways to Be an Incredibly Likable Interviewee
Show you're more than
qualified – you're a pleasure to work with, too.
Be the person everyone
wants on their team.
By Laura McMullenMarch 11, 2015 | 10:36 a.m. EDT+ More
If hired, will you say "hi"
and "bye" most days and be friendly to both your manager and the
person fixing your computer?
Will you show up to team happy hours and respectfully
contribute in brainstorming meetings?
Will you humor us – but not smother
us – with pleasant small talk about weekend plans?
Will I actually like you, regardless
of how well you do the job, or will I have to strategically time my coffee
breaks so I don't run into you?
These questions, while unspoken, can
be as relevant to interviewers as your previous job experience. Here's how to
answer them by showing you'll be a pleasure to work with.
Before the
Interview
1. Consider what
you want to convey. You shouldn't have to fake being likable. You're not forcing a
toothy grin or trying to show the interviewer how similar the two of you are.
You're simply showing you, authentically, at your best.
Patti
Wood, body language and communication expert, suggests this pre-interview
exercise: Write out what qualities the prospective company is looking for –
some of which will likely be in the job description – and think about the
specific behaviors that illustrate them. For example, in the interview, how can
you show you work well with others, rather than just saying you do? Similarly,
consider your best qualities and how you show, rather than tell, them.
"You're looking at those abstract concepts and words and then translating
them into specific behaviors," says Wood, author of "Snap: Making the
Most of First Impressions, Body Language & Charisma."
Consider
the "works well with others" example. During the interview,
"that might mean you show extremely good listening [skills]," Wood
says, adding that you may also ask specific questions about the interviewer,
such as his or her favorite project or aspect of the job. "And then listen
to that empathetically, so you're actually behaving as someone who works and
communicates effectively with others," she adds.
2. Stay in
character during your mock interview. Which means, yes, you should rehearse the interview with a
friend, family member, mentor or career counselor. This exercise is helpful for
many reasons, one of which is the more you practice describing your biggest weakness, for example,
the more comfortable you'll be while doing so on interview day. And the more
comfortable you are, the easier it is to be yourself – not some stiff, scripted
interview robot that spits out algorithmic answers and malfunctions when it
can't compute a question. Speaking of which ...
During the mock interview,
"don't step in and out of character," says Michelle Tillis Lederman,
author of “The 11 Laws of Likability” and CEO of the professional development
firm Executive Essentials. "Stay in character the whole time as you
recover from those mistakes." This is more practice for the real
interview, when do-overs won't be an option.
3. Bust nerves, and boost excitement. It's
hard to hit it off with someone who is frozen in nervousness or solemn under
the weight of this potentially life-changing, probably doomed, super scary
meeting. A comfortable, happy you is a likable you, so loosen up. When you're
feeling nervous the day before or on the way to the interview, listen to a song
that makes you feel "comfortable and confident," Wood says.
"What song, when you hear it, you can't help but feel good?" she
asks. That's the one to listen to. (Wood's go-to song before giving a big
speech is Pink's "Raise Your Glass.")
In
the days leading up to the interview, also practice positive visualization.
"Create a recording in your head of the interview going well," Wood
says. "Under stress, you go to what you've rehearsed the most," she
explains, which means you'll likely jump to those premeditated, successful actions come interview day. This U.S. News
Careers article about how to spend the hour before your interviewexpands
on positive visualizations and other nerve-neutralizing steps.
During the
Interview
4. Be kind from the
get-go. "The interview
starts the minute you walk through those circular doors and into the
building," Tillis Lederman says. Be friendly to
the security guard, receptionist and whomever else you encounter. Companies
sometimes ask receptionists what they thought of the candidates to get a sense
of how they act without the rehearsed niceties that come with talking to a
hiring manager, and Tillis Lederman warns: "Some receptionists have
basically eliminated candidates' possibilities."
5. Embrace the
small talk. It's not as small as you may think. Naturally engaging in a
little chitchat is one way to build rapport with the interviewer, Tillis
Lederman says. Remember: The interviewer is not only looking at your
qualifications and experience; she's also trying to picture you as a future
employee, possibly sharing a cubicle wall and discussing weekend plans.
Plus, "you have to think about
the fact that the interviewer might be nervous, too," she says. And that
interviewer will remember how you made her feel at ease with some breezy
weather talk before having to launch into more serious questioning.
Just like you can prepare for common interview questions, you can prepare
for interview small talk. "As you're coming into the interview, think
about what's been in the news lately, think about the weather, think about the
general vicinity of the office and what's around it," Tillis Lederman
says. "It doesn't have to be brilliant small talk. We're just talking
about chatting and being real with someone."
6. Match the interviewer's pace. There's
a range in how quickly people talk. On the two extremes, there are
"rabbits," Wood says, who talk really really fast and LOUD
without taking breaks, like they're attached to an IV of coffee. And there are
turtles, who ... talk ... more ... slowly ... and ... think ... before ...
speaking.
Those two paces don't initially jibe. (Think of the contempt
you feel when an overly enthusiastic telemarketer calls you at 8 p.m., as
you're relaxed on the couch. The mismatched pace and demeanor
is
jarring, Wood points out.)
"We
tend to like somebody who is our same pace, especially in the beginning and end
of the interview," Wood says. So be aware of the pace you typically speak
at, and then try to match the pace of the interviewer for the for a minute or
so. "Think of it like a handshake you're doing to establish rapport and
have people feel comfortable and at ease with you," she says.
By
matching the interviewer's pace, "you're showing 'I've listened to you;
I've paid attention to you; and I know where you are, and I'm meeting you
there," Wood adds. "It also puts you in the right place, because you're
not self-focused – you're other-focused."
7. Lean in. Wood points to a common scenario in interviews: You're asked a
question, and as you give your prepared answer, stress causes your body to
freeze in the chair, "like a squirrel in the headlights," she says.
"A trick is to, as you start to answer, lean forward slightly," she
says. The effect of pulling your head, torso and gestures just an inch or two
closer is two-fold, Wood says: Your brain unfreezes that stiff body language,
and the interviewer perceives the leaning as a sign that you like him or her,
therefore making you more likable.
8. Don't sweat
mistakes. Staying in
character during the rough patches of your mock interview will pay off now,
when you – sorry – likely make at least a minor goof during the actual
interview. "When we are ourselves, we're not perfect," Tillis
Lederman says. "Interviewers want you to know it's OK to be a little
flawed." If you can handle a mistake "and still appear confident and
comfortable," she says, you show the interviewers you're not easily
frazzled in high-stress situations.
After the Interview
9. Follow up like
you mean it. In this
article about following up after interviews, career experts
say you should send thank-you emails soon – as in, within a day of the
interview. And no generic blanket email to everyone you met with. Individualize
the letters to reference a specific topic or two that you and the interviewer
discussed. "It's not about you; it's about them," Tillis Lederman
says. "It's about how do you add value for them, and how do you create an
ongoing rapport with them."
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)