Top Tips for Phone Messages By Patti Wood MA, CSP Professional Speaker

Top Tips for Phone Messages

By Patti Wood MA, CSP Professional Speaker

Though for some generations the phone has gone the way of the covered wagon, video tape and disco dancing, you still need to know phone etiquette to live with the rest of the world.

Here are important tips for voice mail and phone interactions. 

Stan was looking for a job and had a great interview with a Fortune 100 company that he felt had gone really well. He got a voice message on his cell from the manager he had interviewed with. But it sounded odd. There was a long silence, then a stuttered awkward message that sounded like he was upset. Stan wasn’t sure what the manager thought about him during the interview. When he told his friend Karl about the odd message, Karl laughed and said, "Well at least your prospective boss didn’t call your cell." "You still have that message on it that says, “Yo! What's up?" That sounds like you’re from the Jersey shore.” Horrified, Stan realized that’s the number he had given the manager. Stan changed his voice mail message and found out later he didn’t get the job.   

           Have a professional message on your work, home and cell phone voicemail. Create your message and leave it on your phone and people are still forming an impression of that message years later. Speak clearly; don’t talk too fast. Give sufficient amount of information and no more. Avoid music, slang, and funny voices.

           When you call leave professional messages on other peoples voicemail. And follow up. Prepare your message before you call. Make it short but complete. Leave your full name, your phone number, repeating it slowly and your email address. Always say why you called. If you have more than one point to discuss, start the message with, “I am calling about two issues.” 

      Fewer people listen to their voice mail messages so if you leave a voicemail follow up with email or text. A half hour before an important conference call from the west coast to discuss a big project my dog slipped out the side door as we brought in supplies. I grabbed my cell phone and ran up and down the hills of my neighborhood shouting “Come here Bo.”  The cell phone rang and I answered breathless and voice strained.  It was my client and her bosses calling early!  I explained what was going on, but found out that my first impression had worried my client’s boss. He told her, “She sounded nervous about the project and I wonder if she can handle it. “ I didn’t get the contract.

       Remember, cell phones can catch you casual.  Be careful of answering your cell phone on the fly. If your business colleagues call you on your cell, don’t answer your cell phone if you can’t answer clearly and calmly. Be aware that if you are in the car, your mind is distracted. Realize that if you answer the phone while you are in the bathroom, the echo of the tile is distinctly noticeable and that sound could potentially be very embarrassing.

       Return calls promptly. Time is strong nonverbal communicator

       Imagine you’re talking in person face-to-face. You lose up to 80% of your expressiveness with physical, non-verbal cues. Be present and focused on the call so that your emotions come through in your paralanguage. Otherwise your first impression may be a robot voice. Your energy level and vocal variation typically goes down on a phone call. You need to bring up your energy level to sound like you really are there and aren’t distracted driving or checking your emails while you are on the call. If you can, stand up to keep your energy high. If you are being interviewed over the phone, dress up for the interview to remind yourself to stay professional. If you are particularly nervous about a call forget the coaching to stand up. You will be calmer and more centered sitting down in place where you feel comfortable and safe. Don’t sit starring at a screen of any kind. Reading print on a screen makes your voice become monotone and the focus on the words may hinder your focus on the other person or people on the call. The most important thing you can do is connect.          

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Favorite Fig Pizza Recipe for Pizza Lovers

INGREDIENTS

• 1lb prepared pizza dough, room temperature 1tablespoon olive oil
• 1small sweet onion, sliced
• 4 -6fresh figs, cut in half or thinner if they are big figs.
• 5ounces goat cheese (if you can get goat cheese with cranberries it at Trader Joes it’s extra fabulous)
• 1teaspoon chopped fresh rosemary (The bottled stuff does not do the pizza justice.)
• olive oil 
• cornmeal

DIRECTIONS

1.   In a pan sauté red onions in oil till a caramel color, (takes 10 to 15 minutes, set aside to cool completely. They cook the best in a cast iron skillet. ( I cook extra onions and freeze them for the next pizza)

2.   Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

3.   Roll out dough on a floured surface to 1 inch thick. You can make it round or square all a matter of taste. ( I use gluten free dough)

4.   Place on a pan that is dusted with corn meal.

5.   Spread a thin coat of olive oil on dough.

6.   Arrange goat cheese, figs cut side up, cooled onions around on crust.

7.   Top with little chunks of goat cheese and fresh rosemary.( you can add Mozzarella if you like it extra cheesy)

8.   Place in oven and bake for 15-20 minutes.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

What are the top tell-tale signs that someone is nervous? Body language tricks that hide nervousness well.

Here are stress cues and tips on how to prevent stress from Patti Wood, Body Language Expert, Coach and Author of "SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma."

What are the top tell-tale signs that someone is nervous?

When someone is stressed. Their automatic nervous system will cause them to sweat more, particularly in the palms of the hands (which perspire solely in response to stress, breathing becomes uneven, the throat and lips become dry and swallowing may increase in frequency. But let’s say you’re watching someone giving a speech, interviewing for a job or being questioned during a performance appraisal.

Research on accurate lie detection's says most of believe someone is lying if their voice shakes, or they cannot make eye contact, they blink frequently, maybe they cover their face with their hand, or moisten their lips. But, each of these actions are actually signs of nervousness.

They may give stress cues, (also called comfort cues or pacifying gestures.)

·         Rubbing Motions—These motions are complicated. Rubbing may be a means of self-assurance. For example, we may gently rub a gold chain around our neck just before an interview, symbolically making it shine.

·         Nose, Eye and Ear Rubbing—Often signify disbelief or disagreement if done by the listener or: “Boy, that doesn’t smell right to me, that doesn’t look right to me, that doesn’t sound right to me.”  Or deception if done by a speaker. Note: The nerve ending in those location fire when we are stressed making them itch so it makes sense you touch the face when you’re anxious.

·         Holding Motions—Holding are own hand, placing are arms around our shoulders or stomach. When we were little and we were anxious or scared, our moms or dads held on to us, and the holding motion assured us that everything would be okay. As adults, when we are anxious or afraid we repeat these motions to reassure ourselves that everything is going to be all right.

·         Comfort cues and or Preening Motions—We use self-comfort touching your wrist. They may touch the neck and their limbic brain may fear attack, and respond with a primal response desire to cover their carotid artery and or windpipe (women touch the center and the base of the neck and may even place their entire palm over their neck or heart to protect it), the pulling up your pants or adjusting belt.  These motions to prepare ourselves for a stressful interaction like a speech a job interview. In preparation to flirt you may also touch your hair, rub out the wrinkles on your pants, adjust belt or watch, tuck in your shirt, and women may touch their collars and or jewelry. These self-touch motions offer comfort to us.

The neck a classic position where a predator attacks, either going for the jugular artery at the side or crushing or ripping out the windpipe.  When people feel threatened they will thus naturally act to protect the neck, pulling the chin down to protect the throat and possibly also raising the shoulders to protect the sides of the neck.  When a person is uncomfortable with what they are saying or where they are saying it, then their neck muscles may tense, affecting their voice through constriction of the windpipe or tensing of the vocal chords. This can cause their voice to go higher or sound strained and may cause discomfort in the neck and the hand thus acts to sooth this irritation.

If they are confused and stressed they will shift in their seats or shuffle their feet.

Their brows may furrow and they may rub their eyes or face typically downward,

as if they could clear their head. They may touch their temple or forehead

symbolically pushing the ‘on’ button for their brain. Their eyes may blink or

stretch open, as if they hope they could see more clearly. Also look for cues that

look asymmetrical.

We have “windows” all over our bodies: at the top of our head, our eyes, our mouth, our throat, our upper chest or heart, the palms of our hands, our knees, at the toes and the soles of our feet. We may close one or more of those windows when we are stressed, by crossing our arms, turning away, buttoning up a jacket, hiding our hands

We open and close our heart window in four ways: through the clothing we wear, the way we position our heart window toward or away from someone, the use of physical barriers such as books and counters, and finally, through our arm and shoulder

What are the body language tricks that hide nervousness well? Or the most effective body language trick to hide nervousness?

Try to keep your hands at your sides most of the time. It’s ok to cross your arms briefly, just don’t freeze in a closed position.

The belly window is the area between the bottom of the ribs and the top of the hips. This area is particularly vulnerable to attack. It is the area that often receives punching and stabbing in a fight. As anyone who watches action movies, police dramas, CSI or frankly any television can attest, if the gut is pierced,  internal bleeding can cause a slow death. Holding hands across the belly can thus be a defensive act when we fear any form of physical or emotional attack.

·         When you’re stressed, you often feel cold, and crossing your arms can make you feel warmer. The science tells us that the area under the limbic brain engages different systems in you to prepare for the freeze, fight, flight or faint survival response. The blood is channeled away from the skin towards the large muscles of the limbs (as well as the vital organs so are heart keeps beating and are lungs take in air). Without the blood

to warm the surface of the skin, we feel cooler. So guess what? We often cross our arms to get warm.  If that is a typical problem for you wear a T-shirt under your clothes. (This goes for women as well as men)

·         Rehearse success: Visualize your success before the interview, rather than imagining all the things you might do wrong. Most people when faced with a difficult situation like a job interview or a speech imagine themselves failing; you create a movie where they don’t make a good impression. Instead, rehearse your success and create a positive script. Prepare by first practicing “live” with someone. Then visualize your successful movie closing your eyes and visualizing yourself in the interview... Imagine how you will shake hands well and sit with confidence, be warm and friendly, listen attentively and answer with confidence all the questions you’re asked. Play the movie of you giving a successful interview in your head over and over so that when you are under stress, you can easily go to the positive, successful responses you have rehearsed.

·         Merge:  Think of a time on the job, or in your personal life, when you experienced a success, take a success from any part of your life where you have had an emotionally satisfying experience where you have felt confident, fully alive and positive. Notice how you feel, tell yourself that story, feel those emotions and merge those positive emotions with the new story of your job interview success. (We create and experience stories in the emotional right hemisphere of our brain. When we recall and retell these stories, we re-experience the feelings that accompany them. By using the merging technique, you can bring positive emotions and success into any situation.)

·         Pop:  You can take this process one-step further by creating a pop anchor to feel and act more positively in your interview. I had a client who was having trouble visualizing success after a number of negative job interview experiences. He didn’t have a positive memory of a work scenario to recall. We used what I call my pop tool, so he could

“pop” to a more upbeat, optimistic body language. I asked him to recall what activities or situations made him feel that way. “Sailing!” he quickly replied, and his whole demeanor changed as he explained why. While he was in this mode, I asked him to “anchor” these feelings to his subconscious by briefly touching his leg. Then we watched our

recording, and he touched his leg when he saw and felt the confidence and excitement he liked.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Read of George and Amal by Patti Wood Body Language Expert

I like the sly grin on his face that seems to signal to her that they both know what's going to happen later in the evening. I like especially how her head is tilted down towards him, that’s unusual for her. She doesn't like to show nonverbal signals of submission. Here it speaks of giving herself to him, with pleasure. 

In the red carpet photo his eyes are hooded and bags under the eyes and tense thin line in his mouth show fatigue. He is just a cup holder and she is the energetic glad champion.  He is not happy with his role in this moment and she is unaware of him.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

The Way You Eat Pizza Could Be Saying A Ton About You

The Way You Eat Pizza Could Be Saying A Ton About You

How do you grab a slice?

By Samantha Shelton

If you thought the way you put your bra on said a lot about your personality, think again. There's actually something to be revealed in everything you do, whether it's the order you do things in the shower (are you a shampoo or soap first kind of gal?) or, say, how you like to enjoy a hearty slice of pizza. A lot of it is based on habit—the way you learned to do things when you were young tends to be what you do later in life, says Patti Wood, body language and human behavior expert. But those moments when you're doing something spontaneous, like smiling—that's when things get interesting, because they show the world how you really feel and connect to things.

And while it's easy to try to categorize us all into nice little boxes—four to be exact, if you're following the DISC method—let's be real. Life doesn't work that way. "Not everyone is just a driver or just an influencer," says Wood. "It's a combination of personality traits, so you could identify as a driver in some things you do, and an influencer in others. Usually, though, there tends to be one that comes to the forefront just a bit more."

But since science is getting on the pizza-eating bandwagon, we figured we would, too. Because research has now found that 63 percent of pizza lovers have XX chromosomes, making them brilliant women (hey, it's one of the 100 healthiest foods you could ever eat). So now that we've got that out of the way, let's be a bit more specific. Once you've grabbed a slice, how do you go about eating it? Find your category and see which personality traits rise to the front for you.

You Fold It

You're likely a driver, as those who eat their pizza this way—eh hem, food competitors—don't mess around or "waste time" savoring the different flavors in a slice. They just want to get their pizza down, and finish their pie the fastest. And since drivers don't necessarily care about following the rules (you know, when mom taught you to just pick it up and eat it, or be proper and use a fork and knife), you're not afraid to find whatever method is actually the best. Because for you, being the best is top priority. You're a take charge kind of gal, so just go ahead and tell us which pizza joint to meet you at—we know you've got the best pick of the pack.

Getty/Sammy Li

You Eat the Crust First

At first we had to figure out if people actually do this, but it's true—you really do exist. And those who dig in crust first like to be different; they like to set trends and tell people this is what's up (obviously, because not many eat pizza this way, so you're definitely unique). If that's how you identify, then you're an influencer. You like to be dramatic, often talk loudly, and love getting attention through your actions—even better if a little admiration comes with it. You're not afraid to say something is cool before the rest of the internet thinks it is, because hello, then you can take all the credit. You knew your way of eating pizza was cool before everyone else did.

Getty/Sammy Li

You Fork and Knife It

When you eat pizza with a fork and knife, do you like to be methodical? Do you make that first cut in the same spot every time, or maybe slice out the same size piece for each bite? If so, then you're a supporter. You're a very steady and stable person, the kind of friend every woman needs in her life. You'd make sure everyone has a slice before you grab your own, and would likely be hosting the pizza party in a very warm, relaxed living room so all your girlfriends can gab over a glass of wine, too. And because you're so system-oriented, you can bet you like routine—the pizza guy knows exactly what you're going to order before you even pick up a menu. So keep calm and carry on, girl—you need plenty of time to enjoy bite by bite, before the pie gets cold.

Getty/SammyLi

You Straight Up Bite It

No frills or fancy eating methods required here, which makes you a careful corrector. You like to go with what you know works so that you're certain to get it right every time. That also means you're not one to take pizza eating very lightly. Yes, it can be a fun experience that gives you the freedom to experiment with a few flavors, but really, you've done all the research to find out what's really the best. And your perfectionist tendencies aren't afraid to come out, either. You've got the highest-rated pizza cutter around (mess = stress), so you can divvy up an equal amount to everyone sharing the pie.

Getty/Sammy Li

Actual Link to the Article in Redbook
http://www.redbookmag.com/life/charity/g2849/pizza-personality-reveal/

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.