Body Language Read of Sarah Hyland and Dominic Sherwood by Patti Wood

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Sieg Heil, The Nonverbal Effect of Hitler's Salute.

Sieg Heil
As I prepare for the Discovery Channel Documentary Series on Hitler I am watching Videos
There is a video I have watched of hundreds of soldiers holding their hand in the Sieg Heil salute.
Sief Heil, which means, "Hail Victory!" The salute was created by holding the right arm up to at least eye level and straightening out the arm and hand. It was used as originally as a greeting then chanted on public occasions. In the video I am watching the soldiers keep the hand up in the salute. This salute is particularly interesting as it keeps the arm above the waist, we typically raise our hands above the waist when we feel elated and or victorious. So keeping the hand raised like that can raise the energy level of the group. This relates to what I call UP body language which I describe below.

Keep your body language “up” - Up body language includes, keeping your shoulders back, your head up (not bent over your electronic device) your gestures up. The location of your hands also affects other nonverbal behavior. Put your hands at your sides and your energy goes down your voice lowers and can become more monotone, and you tend to move less and show fewer facial expressions. Bring your hands to the level of your waist, and you become calm and centered. Bring your hands up high to the level of your upper chest or above, and your voice goes up; you become animated.

Hitler gave the Sieg Heil salute in two ways. When reviewing his troops or crowds he generally used the traditional stiff armed salute. When greeting individuals he used a modified version of the salute, bending his right arm while holding an open hand towards those greeted at shoulder height.

The Business Benifits of Getting Angry. More money, more status, more promotions and power. Hitler used anger.

In preparation of the Hitler Documentary I am watching him be very angry in his speeches. Hitler used anger to gain power and status with his audience as well as to sway them to their primitive emotions. Here is an article I wrote on the benefits of anger.

Getting angry can get you promoted.

Yes, surprisingly new research studies suggests that we perceive people who get angry as having more competence and leadership capability than people who are warm and nice If your one of those “nice” people you might be rather disappointed to learn that niceness is not always rewarded. If you get mad easily you may want to show this article to your boss right away! I am going to share the research and then make recommendations for the nice folks on this newsletter list.

I teach interpersonal skills. I know that I have always valued kindness in others, feel blessed to have a group of wonderfully kind friends, and see myself as a caring soul but recent events in my life have reminded me that being nice does not always pay. So I have been reading research on niceness and even a book about being a people pleaser. Are you surprised? I know I am professional speaker and I confident in so much of my life, but at my core my Myers Brigs Personality type reads “loves to be of service to others.” I just want to make sure that for all you other nice people out that your personality type never reads “are a doormat.” And sometimes reads “You need to serve me.”

In one of a series of research studies on anger by Standform researchers Larrissa Tiedens, Tieden tested 24 employees at a Palo Alto software company. Each worker received a list of coworkers and a list of emotions. They had to rate how often their colleagues expressed anger. At the same time, the group manager filled out a questionnaire indicating how likely he would be to promote each of the employees. The degree to which people were rated by coworkers as expressing a lot of anger predicted the degree to which the manager said he would promote them—that is, the more angry, the more likely to be promoted. Oh my gosh! Start yelling right now! While you are at it stomp your foot a few times.

In another study, Tiedens had MBA students watch a video clip of a job interview. The applicant was asked to describe a negative event, such as an office presentation that went wrong. In one case, the applicant exuded anger about the event. In another tape, the applicant said he felt guilty and sad that people had been let down. The MBA students were asked if they would hire the applicant they had just seen. They were equally willing to hire both applicants, but they slotted the one who displayed anger for a higher-level, higher-paying job than the applicant who showed sadness. This is bizarre news to a professional speaker. If you want to increase your income have a bad speech, then get mad about it and stay mad all the way to the bank.

Not only did Tiedons research subjects say that angry people are more highly competent they said those expressing sadness or guilt were viewed as likable and warm, though not chosen for leadership. Why? Tiedens belives her subjects.”Are making the decisions about who will get status based not on socio-emotional characteristics such as warmth and likeability, but on competence characteristics," Anger is powerful. Anger gets its way. If you have red or been through my DISC personality training you remember the Driver or Get it Done type doesn’t care about people only the task. The corporate world rewards results. And if Get it Dones' will yell and scream get to get things done as soon as possible. Anger gets its way fast. It is a time saver. Being nice takes too much time! In the corporate time is money.

Think about what nice people do. They stew about it. They think inside their heads of the perfect way they will say it. They call or email their friends to discuss it. That not only takes time it does not deal directly with the person. Here is an insight for nice people those actions do not produce results.

My advice all you nice folks out there…no it’s not to get mad. It is to communicate. Use your verbal and your nonverbal communication to the person who can full fill your request. Be powerful and be fast. Quickly figure right now think of something you want. Whether it is a project from your boss, an assignment from a co-worker, more money, or a call from your sweetie now go to that person and ask for it. You can use a nice warm voice, but if that doesn’t work it is important stand strong use a slightly louder firmer voice and say it again. Use the phrase “This is important.” If it still doesn’t work insist on it. Use the phrase, “This needs to happen.” Or “This needs to happen immediately.” You nice people will think this is too radical, everybody else however thinks that this is standard operating procedure.

My life has been rich because of kindness. However I know and I want you to know that there are times when you need to take strong action. Yes, you catch more flies with honey and that true, but sometimes you get tired of flies and you want the darn honey yourself. So ask for it. And over the next week wither you have the nice guy or an angry competent person notice the people around you and how they get their way.

I will be blogging more about vice of nice so let me know what you think.

Where Do We Feel Different Emotions in the Body? Love Make Us Warm All Over.

I am fascinated by the gestures of great speakers. I am studying Hitler's Body Language for Discovery Channel Documentary Series. Hitler practiced specific gestures to make when he was giving speeches and many of them are expansive and weapon like gestures to make him appear large powerful and omnipotent and dangerous. In several of his practiced gestures in the famous posed Hoffman Photos one hand is at the head level or above it. Hitler used anger in most of his speeches and its interesting that anger actives the upper body, that is the head, shoulders upper chest and hands and arms.
Here is an interesting study about what part of the body is activated when we feel different emotions. The findings where self reported, so more research needs to be done. But I find it fascinating that we think we feel different emotions in different parts of are body.

http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2013/12/30/258313116/mapping-emotions-on-the-body-love-makes-us-warm-all-over

Mapping Emotions On The Body: Love Makes Us Warm All Over

Updated January 6, 20148:08 AM ETPublished December 30, 20134:04 PM ET

MICHAELEEN DOUCLEFF

Twitter

People drew maps of body locations where they feel basic emotions (top row) and more complex ones (bottom row). Hot colors show regions that people say are stimulated during the emotion. Cool colors indicate deactivated areas.

Image courtesy of Lauri Nummenmaa, Enrico Glerean, Riitta Hari, and Jari Hietanen.

Close your eyes and imagine the last time you fell in love. Maybe you were walking next to your sweetheart in a park or staring into each other's eyes over a latte.

Where did you feel the love? Perhaps you got butterflies in your stomach or your heart raced with excitement.

When a team of scientists in Finland asked people to map out where they felt different emotions on their bodies, they found that the results were surprisingly consistent, even across cultures.

Can You Tell Emotion From Faces Alone? A new study suggests that when people evaluated just facial expressions — without cues from the rest of the body — they couldn't tell if the face was showing a positive or negative emotion. Enlarge this photo to see the answers.

RESEARCH NEWS

Victory Or Defeat? Emotions Aren't All In The Face

When anthropologists tallied the use of emotional words through a century of literature, they included many books without clear emotional content — technical manuals, for example, and automotive repair guides.

SHOTS - HEALTH NEWS

Mining Books To Map Emotions Through A Century

People reported that happiness and love sparked activity across nearly the entire body, while depression had the opposite effect: It dampened feelings in the arms, legs and head. Danger and fear triggered strong sensations in the chest area, the volunteers said. And anger was one of the few emotions that activated the arms.

The scientists hope these body emoticons may one day help psychologists diagnose or treat mood disorders.

"Our emotional system in the brain sends signals to the body so we can deal with our situation," says Lauri Nummenmaa, a psychologist at Aalto University who led the study.

"Say you see a snake and you feel fear," Nummenmaa says. "Your nervous system increases oxygen to your muscles and raises your heart rate so you can deal with the threat. It's an automated system. We don't have to think about it."

That idea has been known for centuries. But scientists still don't agree on whether these bodily changes are distinct for each emotion and whether this pattern serves as a way for the mind to consciously identify emotions.

Basic emotions, such as happiness, sadness and fear, form the building blocks for more complex feelings.

Toddatkins/Wikimedia.org

To try to figure that out, Nummenmaa and his team ran a simple computer experiment with about 700 volunteers from Finland, Sweden and Taiwan.

The team showed the volunteers two blank silhouettes of a person on a screen and then told the subjects to think about one of 14 emotions: love, disgust, anger, pride, etc. The volunteers then painted areas of the body that felt stimulated by that emotion. On the second silhouette, they painted areas of the body that get deactivated during that emotion.

"People find the experiment quite amusing. It's quite fun," Nummenmaa tells Shots. "We kept the questions online so you try the experiment yourself." (You can try it here.)

Not everybody painted each emotion in the same way. But when the team averaged the maps together, signature patterns emerged for each emotion. The team published these sensation maps Monday in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

The team still doesn't know how these self-reported sensations match with the physiological responses that occur with emotion.

But previous studies have found marked changes in bodily sensations in mood disorders, Nummenmaa says. "For instance, with depression sometimes people have pain in their chest."

And there's even some evidence that when you change your own body language — like your posture or stance — you can alter your mind.

Neuroscientist Antonio Damasio, who was not involved in this study, says he's "delighted" by Nummenmaa's findings because they offer more support for what he's been suggesting for years: Each emotion activates a distinct set of body parts, he thinks, and the mind's recognition of those patterns helps us consciously identify that emotion.

"People look at emotions as something in relation to other people," Damasio, who is a professor at the University of Southern California, says. "But emotions also have to do with how we deal with the environment — threats and opportunities." For those, Damasio says, you need your body as well as your mind.

How to Make People Feel Comfotable At a Social Event, Party or Buisness Event. Body Language Tips

How to Make Everyone in the Room Relax

Tips to ease awkwardness at social gatherings

I have a request for an editor at Reader's Digest for this story. Here are my rough notes in response.

Tips from Patti Wood MA, CSP Body Language Expert and Author of, “SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma.”

Introverts – Introverts love to have a silence after they are asked a question. In that pause they create the perfectly crafted response. You may think that the silence is awkward and try to chime in to help them, but they need and want that time. So to make an introvert comfortable if you ask them a question then pause. Research says they may need as much as eight seconds of quiet before they respond. If you do this they will feel respected and honored and very comfortable with you and you will have some very interesting and thoughtful conversations.

Also introverts may talk more slowly and at a lower volume, so try to briefly match and mirror their volume level and rate of speech to create comfort and rapport. Just like shaking hands in face to face interactions helps you feel more in synch with your conversational partner, matching voices helps us feel we are similar and eases the tension in initial conversations. .

Introduce yourself to an introvert, but leave a little bit more physical space between you as you begin the interaction. You may want to be a “close talker” but, extreme introverts need a little more space till they know you better and male introverts may be more comfortable speaking side by side rather than face to face as it is less threatening.

If you want to help and introvert at a party you can also introduce them to other people and giving them background information about the person you are introducing them to and helping them by sharing something about them. For example,

“Sam this is Paula, Paula is a geologist in Sedona and loves foreign films. Paula this is Sam, he works in Space technology and enjoys Science fiction.” Now Sam has topics he can discuss.

Match and Mirror their slower pace and silences just a bit. Their is a secret to making someone more comfortable. That is to enter their world and assume a similar state of mind. To reach out and actively feel what they are feeling. It is something we do naturally when we are truly present and engaged but sometimes the nervousness or a social event makes us self focused rather than other focused. So you may need to consciously focus your attention. By gentry matching and mirroring the person’s behaviors -- body language, voice, words etc. You have probably heard about this technique but you may not have used it. If they lean forward you lean forward if they take a sip of their beverage you take a sip if they talk in a soft voice you briefly talk softly. You only need to do this briefly. think of it again like a handshake as a way of ritualistically engaging and making the other person feel comfortable.

Give introverts more eye contact even when they are pausing. Extroverts sometimes drop eye contact when a introvert is talking softly or pausing. A listener should give more eye contact than the speaker. Research suggests that if you want to have good rapport you should maintain eye-contact 60 to 70 percent of the time that someone is speaking to you. Females have been shown to be better at this than men and actually need more eye contact from listeners in order to feel comfortable in the conversation

Extroverts – Extroverts, especially extreme extroverts love loud overlapping conversations filled with energy. To make an introvert feel comfortable ask them questions; ask them to tell about a funny vacation or the best thing that has happened in their life recently. Then let them go for it. If you are more introverted you may wish to bring your volume and energy up to match your extrovert and make them feel like you are enjoying being with them. Extreeme Introverts speak very loud and fast and use lots of gestures, you don’t have to do that if its not you, just bring your energy up a notch.

If you are an introvert making and extrovert feel comfortable you may not be sue to giving lots of facial feedback, but they need that to feel comfortable and heard. Let your nonverbal expressions show your emotional response to the message. If they are concerned, show understanding by focusing your eye contact on them which may make your eye brows furl. If they are unhappy, frown and lower your eyes and nod your head If they are mad, close and flatten out your lip like a sealed envelope. Briefly matching their facial expressions not only shows someone that you are listening, it creates the same chemicals in your brain that body language shifts are creating in theirs and you will actually feel what they are feeling and understand them more effectively.

Your Boss – How to make your boss comfortable at a party depends a lot on the personality of your boss and your working relationship with him or her. Overall bosses want to feel that they are liked and respected and that the social gathering is going well, especially if they planned or are in charge of the event or customers and or clients are attending. To make them comfortable go up to them when they have a nice available open moment and aren’t busy with other people. Look to make sure he or she has their feet slightly apart a few inches rather than crossed, pressed together, or cowboy show of defensive stance 14 inches apart. It is easier to approach someone who is showing his or her palms rather than hidden and is smiling. Share a positive piece of information or story, such as, “Isn’t it great that our clients are talking with everyone.” “They are really enjoying themselves.” Or I just talked to Elli with our lead client and she felt that our presentation last week really helped them understand our new products.”

If you have a male boss shake hands then stand or sit side by side to create a feeling that you are on the same team and not threatening. If you have a female boss stand or sit face to face to show you are connected to her and give a lot of nonverbal feedback like head nods, facial expressions and, verbal “ah huhs” to let her know you are respectful and a honoring and listening.

A specific tip is to Nod Your Head You do not have to have a bobble toy head, just occasionally nod your head to show you are listening and empathetic with the speaker’s message. An added bonus of nodding your head is that it releases endorphin-like chemicals into your bloodstream to make you feel good and feel more affable about the speaker. Be aware that women nod their heads whether they agree with the speaker’s message or not. Men may think that you agree with them if you nod too much; so be careful not to give mere feedback “I’m Listening” nods if you disagree with what a man is saying.

Your Date

To make your date feel comfortable ask them ahead of time if there is something you can do to help them feel at ease. Some dates want lots of side by side I am with him/her time some dates love to adventure out and meet people, some want to sit in a corner and watch the action. Ask them what they want.

Introduce them to each other (see introvert info.) Remember these are not your dates people, you are with your work tribe and they are an outsider. Make them feel part of the group.

The main way to make them feel comfortable is the check in with them so see how they are and what they may need and want. Your check in may mean a glance across the room or physically going to stand by their side and give them hug or touch.

If you have a comfortable relationship you may also use some signal like a squeeze they give to you to let you know they are “done” talking with someone or want to go or a touch on their back that lets them know you have their back.. Decide ahead a time on the appropriate touch you wish to have with one another to show your relationship. For example, they may expect to be by your side the whole night, or hold hands a lot if you do that normally you may know that’s a no go in your business culture. Another comfort behavior is not to spend to much time talking laughing and smiling with someone of the opposite sex at the party while your date is by themselves. A little tip is if they look nice, tell them when you first see them and wither they are male or female tell them again some time during the event so they know they are seen and stand out from the rest of the people there or instead of appearance compliment on how they are making other people feel comfortable or are interesting or fun or dance well.

Rules of Business Introductions.

Here are the rules of business introductions. The name of the person being introduced is mentioned last, and the person to whom the introduction is made is mentioned first. The rules for who is introduced to whom depends on whether it's a business or a social introduction.

Business Introductions: In business, introductions are based on power and hierarchy. Simply, persons of lesser authority are introduced to persons of greater authority. Gender plays no role in business etiquette; nor does it affect the order of introductions.

For example, you would say, "Mr./Ms. Greater Authority, I would like to introduce Mr./Ms. Lesser Authority." However, the person holding the highest rank may not be Mr./Ms. Greater Authority. A client, for instance, always takes precedence over anyone in your organization, as does an elected official.

Someone with Asperger’s. Each person with Asperger’s is unique so don’t make assumptions. Some will want to be involved and made a part of the group others may want to watch and observe. Ask them if they would like to talk, Ask them if they would like to introduce you to others ask them if they would like to go with you to get a drink or a dessert. Standing side by side and or walking to a destination side by side is the most comfortable and least threatening way of interacting.

Remove Barriers. I have noticed that at time people are uncomfortable talking with someone with Aspegers so they close down their body and or put up barriers so open up and remove barriers even if that person has his or her body closed to you. That means take away things that block the access or view of the speaker and you. The barrier used most often is the arms. Though we have over sixty different motivations for folding our arms, speakers see any arm fold as a barrier and a cue that you are not listening. In fact, of all the different body language postures, the arm fold is the most obvious indication of a lack of interest. You actually retain 30 percent less information from the speaker when you listen with your arms crossed. So unfold your arms. In addition, move the phone, books or stacks of papers on the desk that sit between the front of your body and the speaker’s view. You can even show that you are blocking a speaker’s message by holding your beverage glass in front of your upper chest.

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