What I Do Before My Speeches to Be Open to the Needs of My Audience and Share What They Need To Hear.

I am very clear as a speaker that when I go to speak that it’s about serving my audience. I am there as a to serve, to aid in their growth, facilitate a connection and unique experience, to be of use. 

Before every meeting you attend and or run, before every speech you give you may want to pause for a moment and think about what your group needs and make sure you are centered and open to the messages that they may give you non verbally to help guide you. Be open. 

When I give a presentation I ask the universe, all that is good to help me be a conduit. I ask well beyond a corporate customization, using the nonverbal cues from the group and more "What does this group need to hear?" and I request that if someone in the audience needs to hear something special that can help them that I say it. I have been doing this my entire career. I know many speakers and musicians do this. It helps us stay open hearted. For me Its led to beautiful experiences. 

For me It’s been pretty much a secret to others that I do this until now. Of course I don't mention God in my speeches, but I haven't really talked about this important blessed ritual that is such an important part of my speaking. But, I think its time to share my pre-speech requests because it may serve you in any work that you do to help you see to the hearts of others and because in the past few months I have had so many many people share their stories with me that they heard exactly what they needed to hear. At times, there is a line of them when I finish speaking, sometimes tearing up as they share their stories. I am just so darn grateful.

I realized a few months ago God was giving me a double make that triple bang for my buck. In answer to my pre program requests and also the prayers the last few months to please get me through the hardest time in my life. I see each week when I speak that my brokenness is here for a reason, my internal strength is there for a reason and that the gift of these people sharing their stories is here as well to tell me all will be well, that I am in the right path, that I have more to do. 

To my speaker and musician friends - I know you have experienced audience members saying you said and/or sang what they need to hear and oh my goodness aren’t we blessed? 

And for all of us, we can start each day with the requests to hear and see into peoples hearts.. 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language Insights Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook's Testimony Before the Senate. Apology

This is a body language read I did for the Dow Jones news publication Moneyish on Mark Zuckerberg

Mark-zuckerbergs-body-language-during-his-senate-testimony-tells-us/

Here are my rough notes of my read including an analysis of his apology!

Body Language and apology analysis of  Mark Zuckerberg‘s testimony before Congress today for the meeting .
Forgive my voice to text these are my rough notes as I analyze Mark Zuckerberg‘s nonverbal cues during his testimony today.

I went back and watched his very first media interview where actually he seemed incredibly calm and slightly cocky especially as he talked about how users could enter their personal information at that time he thought sharing private information was the best aspect of the Facebook platform. It was quite dramatic how excited he was about that. Remember he thought it would help people find people to engage with socially and intellectually.

Fast forward to an interview several years ago and you start to see mouth window cues that show his anxiety in responding to certain questions about what Facebook does and about its privacy. In this interview he does what I have labelled tongue cleanses after he speaks. He sticks out his tongue and cleanses it with his teeth to show he’s not happy with what he just shared and that sometimes can be an indication that what he just said was not fully truthful. You also see him sweat in these more high stress interviews. And you start seeing him do a masking smile which actually looks like a grimace as he finishes sentences. The masking smile at the end of sentences indicates he’s not sure what he said is going down well. And just like the tongue cleanse it could be an indication that he doesn’t fully believe what he is saying they are scripted responses.

In the actual testimony before congress, I think what’s most interesting is that he’s even doing anxiety cues as he makes positive statements for example when he talks about growth he’s doing a masking smile so he’s not even sure as he says positive statements about his company whether Congress and the viewers are going to think that growth is a positive thing ... that’s interesting to me. The confidence in that first interview that I watched is gone today.

You may think he appears calm, but in his micro facial cues he shows extreme nervousness in the first hour of his testimony before the senate. I see an interesting mixture of anxiety and a little bit of anger. It seems the statements where he is showing anger or about what has happened that’s changed his worldview that others took the data and did bad things with it. It’s clear from his nonverbal cues as he talks about this that it makes him angry.

If you watch his nonverbal cues as he’s been introduced you’ll note that he looks down quite a bit. He actually looking towards his notes. This is a common nervousness cue that I coach my presentation, media and testamoney coachign cleints NOT to do. It happens when someone is nervous as people attach themselves to their notes when they are afraid of saying something wrong and or they are afraid they won't remember the right, prepared talking pointn.
He is also looking down a little bit in embarrassment as well. He is clearly uncomfortable.

You can see that anxiety in the tension around his mouth he gives a thin straight line trying to suppress his anxiety but the fact that his face is not relaxed and the lips aren’t turned up at the end slightly and a normal relaxed resting face indicate is his anxiety and fear.

Let me tell you what was interesting about his actual apology statement. I have a chapter in one of my books on how to give a proper apology and I read the nonverbal cues, and do content analysis of apology statements quite frequently for the media and I have been doing so for years. As you might guess
what I typically see is a "I have been caught, now I have to pretend I'm am sorry fake apology." Here Mark Zukerberg was honest. I see and hear a true apology. He gives an not just a proper apology statement but does so in a sincere painful to watch manner.

I coach my clients in situations that creepy fake apologies are worse than keeping quiet. What are some of the criteria for a true apology. First you need to say that your sorry for having done the deed. (Not the old, "I am sorry that you feel bad about what I did."
Zuckerberg says, "I’m sorry." and then he takes full responsibility even making the statement, "I own the company I am responsible for what happened.." and goes on to give details about what he did wrong. So his verbal communication his words lone are remarkable because they do with most people don’t do when they make apology statements!
Non verbally you can actually hear a break in his voice as he apologizes that para language. That is very difficult to fake. A consummate actor could do that, (he is not a consummate actor.)
You can't coach people to feel real pain. Here is something else that is unusual. He slows down slightly as he gives his apology statement is normal baseline communication is typically to give a very fast delivery inside of a sentence in this case he’s slows down his pace in the sentence. This pacing differance was proably coached. This is something I have actually coached my cleints to do.
But here is what you cant coach. Sincerity. The apology was effective. I think it immediately made people like him more. Again. He really did feel pain at what had happened and pain at his responsibility for it.

He had a lot of trouble making eye contact with his questionnaire in the first hour of his testimony. Something that is critical to making your answers sound real honest and conversational. I spend a lot of time in media and expert witness coaching working with clients on this. He eventually got that important turn taking down. Coaches often coach their clients to sip water or beverage to gain time and think of your answer and to simply calm down. But that can backfire on you as it did for Bill Clinton in the Monica Lewinski questioning. Its just plain akward being the only one drinking and having cameras record it. That has to be practiced over and over if your going to use that technique to gather your thoughts. It backfired on Zukerberg.

Though he has a lack of general affect that makes him look a bit like Data, his answers made him look so much more intelligent than most of the ill prepared senators.  He eventually began to look like the most credible person in the room! Even as he evaded direct questions! So interesting. 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     Here's What Mark Zukerberg's Body Language During his Senate Testimony Tell Us.

Anger And Hatred, What Are Powerful Speaking Techniques To Move An Audience?

I speak on nonverbal persuasion theory.  I have studied hundreds of hours on different political figures speaking over the years from Kennedy and Martin Luther Kind to Hitler. I have indeed watched hundreds of hours of video of Hitler's speeches, parades and interactions. I was the nonverbal communication expert on a six-part series on Hitler’s rise and fall. I watched the propaganda. Anger has the strongest pulling effect. 

In Trump's  Pennsylvania rally after the Parkland shooting Trump is seen speaking with not one not two but three blonde teenage girls behind him. In this rally speech trump smears, name calls and denigrates the credibility of the national media and trash mouths specific individuals. The speech tears down. It's not rallying people to a positive cause or a positive change. It's filled with anger and attacks without a focus other than to be angry.

In the background the girls make faces grimacing and smiling. And seemingly cheer him on smiling at the cameras. These are not young people standing up to a cause they believe in. They are cheering an angry guy. When I watched it a chill went up the back of my neck. Because these are young people who are being persuaded by anger. In the video, you can see that the girls don’t even hear the end of his sentences before they cheer or boo.  It doesn’t matter who or what he attacks. They just hear a few hate-filled words and react with their limbic brains to the anger. Anger is the strongest persuasive force. But, there is a cost. 

So what are the positive actions we can take? I plan on talking about this with young people I know and ask them what they feel as Trump speaks, I will work on being someone who will not only point out negative behavior but notice if I model better behavior. I will focus on positive action.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

How To Question Someone to Get to the Truth. How to Question and Employee

In my Establishing Credibility and Trust and Detecting Deception Workshops, I teach questioning techniques similar to the ones described in the article at the bottom of this post.  

When I first taught interviews and interrogation techniques for a law-enforcement training center, the few books on the topic suggested the kind of forceful bullying interrogations you see on detective shows. But, I believed that the best technique to get to the truth was to establish rapport and trust and to listen carefully and observe body language. And I believed and taught then and continue to teach that interviews with victims and witnesses especially those who experienced fear or discomfort of any kind require great patience and empathy.

I teach programs for HR professionals, managers, C-Suite executives and business owners to interview all the parties in a Human Resource issue.  Here are two kinds of questions you that may surprise you with their effectiveness at getting to the truth.

1) Non-Judgmental Open-ended questions are essential.  Instead of creating stress by saying, "Tell me every detail you can remember..." "Or tell me all the details..." 

What are you able to tell me about your experience?

What can't you forget?

What stands out about your experience?

2) Sense Memory Questions 

Our sense of memory in a real experience is very strong.  If someone is telling the truth they experienced a real situation or situations with all their senses. They heard, saw, smelled and felt the experience. If,  in your workplace, you have an employee that is sharing a bad experience and asking for help and they are having trouble sharing the experience the questions below can help them recall it. If you doubt the veracity of someone's story you can ask "sense" questions to test their story. Liars tend to create a "word" story in their neocortex. They didn't experience it the true experience.  

Asking "Sense" questions will create a cognitive overload that is likely to create stress so you may see them struggle to answer simple questions and give nonverbal tells of stress.  With a sense memory question, you have the possibility of helping some "Re-fire Up" their memory as memories are recalled when we activate a network of interconnected neurons.  Because information comes to us through our sense of sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch. When we recall a memory we re-fire the same neural paths that we used to sense the original experience and in a way, we recreate the event.

What are you able to recall about what you saw?

What you able to recall about what you heard or smelled?” 

How were you sitting standing or moving?
Describe the temperature, the sounds and the other feelings of the experience

(The five basic senses are sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. There are other senses such as the vestibular sense, thermoception, nociception, and proprioception)

I love that the team below where trained in interview techniques to help victims tell their truth 

Here is an excerpt from the articles. 

“.,.,,questions are open-ended and empathetic — more an invitation to share than a relentless hammer to provide a precise chronological account. “What are you able to tell me about your experience?” takes the pressure off the victim to figure out what the investigator wants and allows for actual recollection. “What are you able to recall about what you heard or smelled?” taps into the victim’s deeper sensory experience. “What can’t you forget about your experience?” bypasses what the victim has forgotten and offers an entryway into other memories.

This article also shows the power and bullying behind the mask of a psychopath and malignant narcissist. This is a man who fooled the pubic posing as a great guy while behind the scenes he abused, bullied and smeared the credibility of his victims.

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2018/03/michael-osgood-special-victims-commander-harvey-weinstein.htmlhttp://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2018/03/michael-osgood-special-victims-commander-harvey-weinstein.html

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The O.J. Simpson Interview On Fox: Did O.J, Simpson Lie, Or Tell The Truth? Body Language Read Of O.J. Simpson

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/12/arts/television/oj-simpson-interview-fox-lost-confession.html


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.