Body Language Experts Analyze Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's First Event With Her Mom, Doria

Just when we started to recover from Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's whirlwind summer, the Duchess of Sussex headlined an event promoting Together: Our Community Cookbook by Hubb Community Kitchen (with a foreword by HRH herself!). Meghan was joined by her husband and mother, Doria Ragland, at the book's launch party. Yep, that means we caught our first glimpse of Meghan with the two most important people in her life. Cue the body language analysis.

In this case, the celebration was all about Meghan and the women of the Hubb Community Kitchen (as it should be). "For the first time ever, Meghan and Harry didn't make each other their priority," Patti Wood, body language expert and author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma told GoodHousekeeping.com. But it's not what you think: "It's clear Harry prioritized his wife and mother-in-law, since they were the guests of honor and he was simply there as a cheerleader."

You could spot the difference as soon as the trio got out of the car. Unlike previous engagements, Meghan didn't wait for Harry. Instead, she walked with her mother and let Harry follow — and he looked happy doing so. "Despite this difference, he's at ease," explained Wood. "In fact, there's still a playful nature about him."

While he clapped, cheered, and grinned during the entitreity of the event, his finest moment came after a big gust of wind ~ruined~ (read: momentarily messed with) his wife's hair. Impossible, no? Wood told us that this movement had a deeper meaning: "This was Prince Harry's way of telling his wife, 'I'm here.' There's a child-like sweetness to this simple gesture, which indicates that he's not bothered by taking a backseat for the day."

So, ya think that's sweet? Well, Meghan and Harry both twisted their wedding rings during Meghan's speech as pointed out by Susan Constantine, human behavioral expert and author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Reading Body Language. "This has different meanings depending on the environment. In this case, it's likely because their husband or wife is foremost on the mind," Constantine told us.

Now, watch Harry very closely: (Watch videos at link below)

That's what love looks like. Or a not-so-subtle nervous tick. We'll go with the former.

While this event was undoubtedly a big day for the Duchess, it was also the first time that her mom, a yoga instructor and social worker, tagged along for a royal engagement. "You could sense their nerves," Constantine said. "Every now and again, Meghan would take quick glances to check on her mother, which indicates that she was distracted by the newness of it all." WHICH. MAKES. TOTAL. SENSE.

One thing's clear: Meghan is her mother's daughter. "When speaking, both women would talk with their palms up and fingers open, which symbolizes honesty, collaboration, and feedback," Constantine explained. Now, that's an appropriate feeling for an event celebrating a cookbook about — you guessed it — collaboration.

The Final Verdict

Point blank: If this was a different event, the experts would have different feelings. This particular instance, however, was about Meghan and Doria. Sure, it's odd to see the couple apart from one another (no back rubs, Meghan?) but given the fact that the event was about a cookbook — not the couple — it makes perfect sense. And can't we all agree that it's pretty incredible to see Prince Harry sit back and watch his wife in amazement. Don't mind us still swooning over here. 

Link to article with videos - https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/entertainment/a23409141/prince-harry-meghan-markle-doria-ragland-body-language/

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Chris Watts Body Language in Media Interview, Suspect in murder of his wife and children.

Here is the link to the HLN national tv interview I where I analyzed Chris Watts body language.

Patti Wood on HLN TV Interview https://www.coloradoan.com/videos/news/2018/08/16/full-interview-chris-watts-24-hours-before-he-reportedly-confessed-killing-family/1012930002/ https://www.coloradoan.com/videos/news/2018/08/16/full-interview-chris-watts-24-hours-before-he-reportedly-confessed-killing-family/1012930002/

Link to Patti's interview on HLN - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPKSP6tyWYU&t=139s

He is not using the name of this wife and children.  Typically when your loved one is missing and you are innocent you want to pull them closer by repeating their name and or you connect to them. He does NOT say,  “My wife my wife my wife, my babies where are my babies, my babies.” He says, “I’ve called friends.” And he gives an odd half head tilt shoulder shrug, and indication it’s not a full truth.  

Listen to his even unemotional voice as he says horrible things that should elicit emotion. “I got back ..it was like a Ghost town…It’s like a nightmare that I can’t wake up from.

Notice after his says, ‘…Nobody was here, nothing…” He pushes his is teeth over his lips in what I call a Tongue to cleanse indicating he is worried about what he just said. He is also rocking slightly side to side and has his arms crossed over this body. Those are signs of stress, but very strained. Here is what is even odder. If you are describing a search through your house for your missing family how do you think you would say and it and show it? You guessed correctly. With emotions and gestures and body movements as you recall your search. And typically vivid word picture descriptions of a real experience that you recall. But if you are lying you don’t have the images or the emotions so we don’t get that from him, which is an indication he didn’t search for them in the house, because he already knew they were not there.

He gives his missing wife several digs during this short interview, saying, ‘…shes got friends I don’t know about and here passive aggressively digging at a real or imagined habit of not responding to his texts but to her “people?”
Do you think an innocent husband whose wife and children are missing would dish his wife to the media?

“If she doesn’t respond to her people that’s fine she’s got stuff going on but not to respond to her people that Was Not (rather than IS not) like her.

Notice that he speaks about her in the past tense.  He speaks of both his wife and his children in the past tense several times throughout the interview.

He gives more lip cleanses. And then at time code 203, he gives a full lip withdrawal sucking this lips in. People can do this to withhold strong emotions like grief and anger but I would see micro facial cues of those emotions as he tried to suppress them. Here I don’t see them. So I can deduct that that the lip withdrawals is an indication he is withholding the truth.

When the reporter says something to the effect, about how he is not out of his mind, his response is about getting home, and how fast he was going and his search through the house. But again notice his words and his nonverbal cues don’t match. when he described getting home, we don’t see or hear him relive that frantic ride to the house or the frantic search. Instead, he has this slow unemotional delivery about finding it to be a ghost town, and he is standing with his arms across his body and we later see a broad alpha stance he is not was not reliving a frantic adrenaline-fueled search through the house for his loved ones, that would have come after

Another creepy tell. He says I hope that she is somewhere safe, that she is “there” That is a tell.  He says that she is there. That makes no sense if he doesn’t know where she is but makes perfect sense if he knows where he has buried her.

Then he says, “I want “her” back so bad, I want….those kids” back so bad.”  Again no personalization of wife’s or children’s names, or name repetition and he nonverbal behaviors don’t show grief or worry. 

Then he gets even creeper and we see a sign of a malignant narcissist.  He laughs, and it not just a stress laugh, he is smiling and its oddly sustained. He is doing more than using the laughing to cover that face those statements he just made are lies. In fact, he is eerily showing what is called dupers delight that he has seemly gotten away with it.  Another indication that he doesn’t feel grief is that he follows the statement with a filler “Umm” to fill the void were real grief should be. And again his mouth cues shows that what he just said is not going down well.

When asked by the journalist about how he should feel see his odd retreat back  and ear to shoulder shrug that indicates what was said does not sound good to him. And he reply’s… I want my family back” rather than I want to find my family my wife my babies help me find my wife and babies.

Notice this odd statement, “I don’t want to be in his house again with nobody here.’  as if he knows they won’t be back. How does he know that, at this point they are only missing.

He says, “Everything’s checked out?” What does that mean???  Rather than, there is not sign of them.

Horrible eerie tell at around time code 5:57- He says with not affect in voice or body language “I want them home so bad.” As he shakes his no.

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“Nicole called me when she was at the door and that’s when I came home and walked in the house,” said Watts, who stood calmly on his porch wearing a North Carolina Tar Heels shirt. “Nothing was here. She wasn’t here. The kids weren’t here.” “When her friend showed up, that’s when it registered, like all right, that isn’t right.”

Watts came close to shedding crocodile tears when speaking about his missing kids.

“It was tearing me apart last night,” he continued. “I want everybody to just come home. Wherever they’re at, just come home. That’s what I want.”

When a reporter asked if the couple had an argument, Watts replied, “It wasn’t like an argument. We had an emotional conversation. I’ll leave it at that.”

Moments later, Watts turned to the camera with a message to his family:

“Shannan, Bella, Celeste, if you’re out there just, just come back,” Watts said. “If somebody has her, just please bring her back. I need to see everybody. I need to see everybody again. This house is not complete without anybody here.”

hris demonstrates his phoniness because he is talking too much and giving too much information. He smiles and chuckles during the plea, which is very contrived and also reveals he is being fake. Chris is showing inappropriate facial responses for what’s really going on in this situation, where his wife and two children were missing at the time. He has his arms crossed at one point. The bottom line is, he’s closing off because he knows he’s don something bad.”

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Gender Bias in Medical Care and What Woman Can Do.

According to the latest research, women do not get the same level of care from medical professionals especially when it comes to pain and most especially female gynecological pain.
I suggest a few actions for female patients. Ideally, interview gather physician recommendations before and interview possible doctor before receiving care.

In your first doctor-patient interaction share what your ideal working relationship would look like and ask them about how they interact.

Take responsibility for your own health if you have an issue. One concrete way of expressing your problem of pain is to keep a log/journal of your health, any problem you are having when and how it shows up, a description of the pain and what seems to increase and lesson it. Your activities and diet.
And if you have an issue/pain how it affects your everyday activities. For example, "I use to go out with my family to school games and walk the dog every day, but the pain is so exacting that....."
If you are in pain write down in as much detail as possible what the pain feels like.

It's helpful for the doctor to know what you have tried to do for your self-care and that you are not expecting pain medication. One of the biggest issues in healthcare is pain medication addiction and you don't want your health care issue. Be honest and forthwith.  Years ago I had an emergency room doctor treat me abobdially because he thought I was after pain medication, when in fact I was passing a kidney stone.

It's helpful to have good relationships with your doctors for many reasons. So be a good patient, but don't be a passive patient if you don't feel heard honored and respected. If you have a concern use my ERASER method to make a request for a change.





Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

How Work, Family and Social Groups Suffer from a Malignant Narcissists need for Narcissistic Supply

In a social group, family or workplace group members can support one another and create a magical bond. But, sometimes a group can have one or more toxic members that create group drama. In my work, I have situations where the one group member has created an enormous amount of pain.
Have you ever been in a family, group or workplace and experienced group drama? The pain of a good group changing and people attacking and taking sides keeping secrets and forming cliques? Malignant Narcissists feed off of drama. Research, including the use of the brain scans, shows that their brains operate differently. MN’s don’t feel the normal human emotions of love, bonding and empathy. Those parts of their brains simply don’t light up. Instead, their brains light up when they are admired, and when they see and or create strong negative emotions like drama, fear, pain, and discord. These emotions create the MN’s "Narcissistic Supply."
Because they lack those loving bonding emotions they often feel empty. In fact, When they are not “fed’ with their supply they describe feeling like they are in a deep dark endless void. So they work fervently to keep and create their supply. They typically have more than one more romantic relationship to feed them and when they are in a group, especially if they without a romantic partner, they create this supply by sowing discord. One method in their playbook is to triangulation of group members. Strangulation cuts off a victim’s oxygen, triangulation isolates the MN’s victim from the respect support and membership of the group. It pits group members against each other and can eventually kill the group itself.
Their "Target"/Victim in this "Triangulation" is the person or people who see through their charming "Narcissistic Mask" to their true evil selves. The targets may have information about them such as abusive behavior, stalking, infidelity, crimes, cruelty, unethical behavior money issues, etc. This makes the targets dangerous to the malignant narcissists and they must destroy them. MN’s go through many relationships and many groups and they follow the same malicious game plan over and over.
They start the game early. "Grooming" the group members. They seem so charming, so unusually generous. They will typically give “Goodies” such as food, compliments, favors, gifts, exclusive social activities, jobs, business deals. These are goodies create a tit for tat and loyalty bond and especially if the group members have difficulty repaying in kind they feel beholding to give greater loyalty to the MN. They can even not like the MN’s talk about them negatively behind their back but, enjoy the goodies and not want to lose them.

Sharing secrets is a favorite method on an MN to create imbalance and erode trust. They also start forming relationships with some group members to the exclusion of the target, as in, “Lets’ not Bob about our conversation,” and "Seeding" the group against the target with small lies about the target behind their back over time. They may start seeding the group when the target is still close and in favor with the MN and has yet to unmask them publicly. MN’s have been unmasked before. They are prepared to turn against those closet to them. No one in their group is ever truly safe, even those closest to them.

They will also test the waters to see whether the group member or members will let them say something negative about the target and if they do they know they can attack the target even more brutally later without fear of retribution or exclusion from the group. That way, when they need to launch outright "Smear Campaign" attacking the target’s credibility the group is ready to side with the MN. (Healthy groups will catch this malicious gossiping before it escalates)
In the smear campaign the MN may accuse the target of horrible things, all lies of course. Often, according to experts they accuse their targets of displaying their own unhealthy behaviors. The very behaviors their target had discovered about them. To save themselves they feel they have to totally discredit and destroy the target and may call them crazy, dangerous or in a bad place.
For example, if the target has been victimized by the MN that was unethical or cheated or lied in a business deal and or did following through on promises or contracted services they will accuse their target of those very actions. The MN will always claim they are the victim, that they are the good guy or gal. Their (false) image is everything to them. They may even try to look like they are good guys a a confusing backhanded smear too look empathic and say of their target, “Oh poor guy he was in a bad place that’s why he did this to me.” Or poor thing, she was messed up and we didn’t know.”

The MNs’ will stir the pot, pulling members off for private conversations, emails and texts, shared secrets, meetings, social gatherings where the target is excluded, and the subgroup feels special in their alliance with the MNs who they perceive as the victim. Above all they need to isolate, discredit, and destroy their target. MN’s thrive on the drama and conflict they create. Having set out coals and the gasoline in an unhealthy group they may have to do very little to get group members to join their attack and help isolate the victim. Like arsonist MNs love to start a fire.
Because they have already created cliques and secret alliances with members in the group members will find it hard not to stay with the in crowd. Even in situations where they feel the MN has done something wrong those that side with the MN may feel a special connection in their understanding and forgiveness of the MN. They may also be called on by the MN to attack anyone who doesn’t side with him. The MN will often say that it’s the target, not them that is hurting the special group bond that they had before the targets supposed actions.
There may also be people who don’t want to take sides or join the attack for whatever reason but their inaction or giving only their secret support of the target inevitably ends up adding to the MN’s power. Devilishly, the MN’s will attack without mercy and attack anyone else that threatens them. If there are people who publicly align with the victim those people of integrity are likely to suffer. They will not get the “goodies” and they may, like the target, suffer the pain of separation from friends or colleagues who they valued and trusted and be fired, shunned, and losing the bond of group membership.
Remember the MN creates this drama and feeds off of it.
MNs love to see the pain they cause the separation and destruction of the target and if need be of the group. If the group was extraordinary or in any way special and members have cared deeply for one another it creates the destruction of the group creates even more supply for the MN. MN’s can never fully trust anyone, they can’t feel real connection they can only curry favor with goodies and demand loyalty. When they see what they can never really have, they enjoy destroying it. They love to “win.”
We saw this drama in the recent sexual harassment cases, the drama created by Harvey Weinstein and the teen molester Roy Moore and on many other media stories. When they are unmasked MN’s smears and attacks escalate. In fact, one way to tell if you are dealing with a true victim or an MN’s is to see how someone handles what is happening during narcissistic abuse or launch a smear campaign. For example, someone who has been abused will typically be suffering. True victims of malicious lies often need to be alone to heal. They may need to regain equilibrium. It may take them time to marshal the energy and bravery to fight an abusive MN.

A MN is fed by drama, they are destructive rather than constructive. In fact, one way to recognize an MN early on is to listen when they speak about people and groups in their past. They will almost immediately at the beginning of any new possible relationship describe their exs as crazy, and or speak ill of past business people who could tarnish them as bad guys and they often have past business relationships with truly shady characters. MN’s love to use labels rather than names. So they’re ex-boss (who unmasked them) is the crazy red head, their coworker (who unmasked them) is that pink tie geek.
A victim will seek counseling, read books, educate and support other victims, create art that expresses their pain and insights, be a good supportive group members in other groups. They will shine the light on attackers so that others don’t suffer. Notice what they do with their pain. They simply do good in the world.

Know that healthy people, people with integrity are all around you. Look for them. They are strong people. Seek them out. Look in the mirror and be that person who does the right thing.

For more information, you can put any of the italicized words in this article and my name into the Facebook search and google to find my articles and blog posts on Narcissism. You also can look up Group Think, Apaths, Minions, Narcissistic Abuse, and Group Narcissism. If you have stories of Malignant Narcissistic Abuse please comment, message or email me. I can offer assistance to anyone experiencing this pain. And if you wish, i can include your story in my new book on the topic, anonymously of course.

https://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2018/03/the-narcissistic-conspiracy-scapegoating-smear-campaigns-and-black-sheep-how-narcissistic-groups-bully-their-chosen-victims/ 

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Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

How Ivanka Has Changed The Way She Speaks Over The Years — & What It Means

In her 2007 appearance on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Ivanka sounded more relaxed and at ease with being interviewed. "Her voice had a rough smokiness to it here," Patti Wood, a body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, told Refinery29. "And her presentation made it clear that she was expecting a humorous response." … Continue


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.