How to Say Yes or No to Hugging

                                        How to Say Yes or No to Hugging

One of my most popular programs is Body Language and Selling and over years a subject that comes up, again and again, is hugging. My female audience members want to know how they can keep  certain client’s from inappropriate hugs and my male audience members want to know how they can tell if a woman wants to hug or just shake hands.

Recently clients have asked me to make sure I do my module on propoer touch including information on hugging because they wanted the sales group to be informed.  There are many reasons I love talking about hugging, not the least of which I have actually done research on hugging and wrote an entire chapter on hugging in one of my books.

Do They Want a Hug?

In a handshake people typically present the side of their bodies, in limbic brain response of protection of the vital organs. When someone really wants a hug they make themselves far more vulnerable by exposing all the body windows of the eye, mouth, neck, heart, ventral front, pelvis palms of the hands and toes. They open those windows wide. If they don’t want a full hug, they typically one or more of those windows, starting with averting their gaze and then presenting their shoulder closing windows by bowing down, turning away or retreating.  It happens quickly, but if your awake to the cues, bringing it from your subconscious to your conscious awareness and focusing on the other person, rather than your needs or habits its very obvious if they are open or closed and you can act accordingly.

If you move in any way you may end up feeling them pull away, perhaps giving you a London Bridge hug, where they leave the upper body in the hug and pull back their lower body making the hug less sexual or they may pat your back in move that simultaneously says, “This is not sexual and by the way, bad boy bad boy.”

How Do You Make It Clear You Don’t Want a Hug?

For women who don’t want to hug, I instruct them to start the handshake early, at as much as 6 feet away instead of the normal 4 feet or less, presenting the side of their bodies and an outstretched hand and that they keep that side right foot forward move as they approach and not smile if the person they are greeting opens up to hug disregarding their cues indicating they just want a handshake and escalating to the verbal request, “I would like to shake your hand.” Or “I am handshake person rather than a hugger.” Or “I am more comfortable shaking hands,” Remembering men as a gender don’t read cues as accurately and some men may think you are saying yes to a hug because you don’t stop advancing toward them and saying no or what you want.

https://edition.cnn.com/2019/03/04/business/ted-baker-ray-kelvin/index.html?fbclid=IwAR0aYc4FnLTgJbfT8pp2E4K0eTeongAXSG

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language of Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga's Steamy "Shallow" Performance Body Language Insights, Patti Wood

There's absolutely no question that Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga have on-screen chemistry. Their Oscar-nominated A Star Is Born performances are testaments to that. And thanks to their clear, err, comfort levels with each other, everyone who has an internet connection has speculated that there's been an off-screen relationship brewing as well—regardless of how unfair those rumors are to Cooper's girlfriend, Irina Shayk.
There's absolutely no question that Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga have on-screen chemistry. Their Oscar-nominated A Star Is Born performances are testaments to that. And thanks to their clear, err, comfort levels with each other, everyone who has an internet connection has speculated that there's been an off-screen relationship brewing as well—regardless of how unfair those rumors are to Cooper's girlfriend, Irina Shayk.
What struck body language expert Patti Wood, author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, (and, frankly, everyone else watching) was their extended, atypical, unbroken eye contact.

Sure, it was a carefully choreographed performance, but Wood says this mutual gaze was a “longing to touch” or a "pre-coitus" stare. "That’s why everybody went crazy watching it!" Yep. Felt that.

https://www.oprahmag.com/entertainment/a26515833/shallow-lady-gaga-bradley-cooper-body-language/?fbclid=IwAR3L_V5MFQKlxGhc3URZg96b5JiLt3b7UARMh8dD4nZM8vXIDBzgfVZk0RU
Patti Wood, MA, Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

How to Recognize A Dangerous Person, Body Language Cues of Dangerous Person.

Contributed to  body language expert Patti Wood 

Creepy Habits Untrustworthy People Have In Common

By CAROLYN STEBER

I contributed to this article in Bustle with my body language insights from my forthcoming book on Malignant Narcissism. 

They Don’t Break Eye Contact

When it comes to manipulative people — see: sociopaths, narcissists, etc. — many have a habit of staring intensely at others, and making creepy amounts of eye contact. "They look at their target with [a] focused, intense gaze," body language expert Patti Wood, MA, tells Bustle, usually as a way to test boundaries. "They may do or say something uncomfortable right before or after the hypnotic gaze to test how the target responds." To figure out if the situation really is unsafe, Wood says you should break eye contact or move away, and see how they react. If they get upset, or you feel a hugeamount of relief, your intuition was likely correct.

They Dominate The Conversation

While some people just like to tell stories, manipulators will try to dominate entire conversations. "This 'over talking' involves auditory space invasion and other paralanguage factors that show they are in control," Wood says. "They are often quite charming and good storytellers, so it may be hypnotic to listen to them." But if you don't feel included, or can't get a word in, they are likely someone who doesn't have your best interests at heart.

Since narcissists tend to get really upset when things don't go their way, keep your eye out for shocking mood swings when interacting with others. As Wood says, "They can shift all their nonverbal behaviors in the blink of an eye and transform themselves."

This might include switching from really sweet, to super irritated a second later. Or they might morph into an entirely different "character" in order to get their way, Wood says. It can be so manipulative, you might not even realize it's happening until the person's already sucked you in.But the moment you do, don't be afraid to reach out for help, or to leave the situation as soon as you can.

More of the article at the link below. 

https://www.bustle.com/p/11-creepy-habits-untrustworthy-people-have-in-common-16172440?fbclid=IwAR05Zm0oWsZltPLP_EaO2wuNqLRuYNVpHFSp03V5yyorAbA6ItrFh2hSIB4

Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Miley Cyrus & Liam Hemsworth's 2019 Oscars Body Language Analyzed by Body Language Expert Patti Wood

Miley Cyrus & Liam Hemsworth's 2019 Oscars Body Language Analyzed by Body Language Expert Patti Wood Was A Little Concerning

BY CANDICE JALILI

5 DAYS AGO

After tying the knot in December, Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth's 2019 Oscars body language gives us some insight into what their dynamic may be like as newlyweds. The two took on the red carpet together at the star-studded Vanity Fair after-party, and as you can imagine, they were the center of attention. There were plenty of pictures snapped of them and plenty of short video clips of them interacting posted all over social media. And, to figure out what all of this means, we asked some body language experts to help determine what their posture and physical connection tells us about their relationship dynamic.

Cyrus and Hemsworth are known to be pretty flirty — on the day before Valentine's Day, she even posted a hilarious meme letting her husband know that she's ready, willing, and able to get down to business. So, fans might expect that the couple would be all over each other and super passionately in love all over the red carpet. But that actually couldn't be further from the case, according to the body language experts. No, in fact, both the experts I spoke to mentioned that, in general, the couple's body language indicates that they seem to be more interested in the cameras snapping their pictures than they are in each o

"The only thing in [this] clip that indicates they are in any way a couple is that she looks up to him when he’s talking briefly but, otherwise, they’re standing so far apart and he’s stiffly standing up straight, not leaning towards her," notes Patti Wood, body language expert and author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma. "It’s not romantic or steamy or anything that would indicate they’re hot to trot for each other."

On the other hand, Traci Brown, body language expert and author of Persuasion Point, has a more positive take noting that his quiet distance could actually be a sign that he's "silently supporting her watching over the situation."

"There’s a brief shoulder-to-shoulder touch, but even if you look at the way they’re oriented, he steps over away from her and then turns towards the reporter to talk, rather than leaning in towards Miley to talk as a couple," says Wood. "She steps away to talk and he steps away to talk."

Wood notes that throughout her years as a body language expert, she's read plenty of celebrity couples and has never seen a dynamic quite like that of Cyrus and Hemsworth. "In this case, she steps away and answers the question and then when the reporter asks him something he steps away and turns towards the reporter," says Wood. "So, typically, in situations like that, either couples stay together or they lean in towards each other or put a wrap arm around each other and they’re answering as a couple. But because they’re both stepping away, it doesn’t bode well. It doesn’t make sense."

"Sometimes if it’s their event, one member of the couple will do that but not both," she continues. "And usually it’s a step forward instead of a step away which, again, doesn’t dismiss that as a couple by their behavior. Them being off to the side to answer typically says, 'I don’t want to be seen as a couple. I want to be the only one on camera.'"

"They take the photo and he has his arm around her briefly and she has her arm around him and then he just walks away," Wood recaps. "And I know it’s directive. I know there’s somebody saying, ‘Come with me,’ or, ‘Walk this way,’ but I would be looking for a moment between them before he walks away and he just goes. There’s no little affection touch. There’s no linger. There’s no look at her. There’s no kiss. There’s nothing. And she doesn’t look at him as he’s leaving! She looks at the guy who’s telling them that they want photos of just her, but she’s looking forward; she’s not looking at him. She’s just adjusting her dress and getting re-established for her photo. Yeah, I don’t see hot and steamy in any of this."

That being said, Brown notes that Hemsworth has his head down as he moves away from his new wife, which indicates that "he’s not that excited about" being pulled away from her.

"We see him pointed towards her with his shoulders, but she’s pointed towards the camera," notes Brown about the above image. "We know everyone was yelling her name and it was clearly her night so not surprised her energy isn’t 100 percent on him."

That being said, Hemsworth is the actor and the Oscars are for acting. So shouldn't it have been his night?

"Here she is leaning away again in the third straight pose," Brown notices. "Is there trouble in paradise or does she really just want the spotlight all to herself?"

Wood thinks it may be the latter. "They’re more about themselves than each other," she says. "That would be the overall takeaway."

Now, of course, walking red carpets and doing press events like this is all part of their jobs. So let's be sure to take that into consideration before judging them for not being more focused on each other than the task at hand.

ttps://www.elitedaily.com/p/miley-cyrus-liam-hemsworths-2019-oscars-body-language-was-a-little-concerning-16102466?fbclid=IwAR1KZ-KoP4XdKirySoKJIL22-XrRMCUN8C_QYUtudRGsecZC6m4295qg0Z4
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Bradley Cooper & Irina Shayk's 2019 Oscars Body Language, Body Language Expert Patti Wood

Bradley Cooper & Irina Shayk's 2019 Oscars Body Language Is Pretty Uncomfortable

BY CANDICE JALILI

5 DAYS AGO

unlike his performance of 'Shallow' that pretty much made the entire award ceremony, Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk's 2019 Oscar body language is pretty dang uncomfortable. Elite Daily asked body language experts to look into images of the couple before and during the show and... well, their findings weren't super positive. Simply put, it seems as though Shayk wants more attention from her partner and, unfortunately, he's more willing to give that attention to his mother than he is to her.

"You do have to state the obvious that it’s very unusual for an actor up for an Academy Award to have his mom on one side and [his partner on the other]," says Patti Wood, body language expert and author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma. "It was already highly unusual that he went to all of these events for several years with his mother. So it becomes more unusual that now he’s in the middle like a cookie with a filling — having himself in between the two of them."

Yep, that's right. While most of us were focused on the potential of a Lady Gaga-Bradley Cooper-Irina Shayk love triangle, the real love triangle might actually be between Cooper, Shayk and Cooper's mom Gloria Campano, who he very obviously loves very much.

"We see his energy divided between the two women in his life! So sweet," says Traci Brown, body language expert and author of Persuasion Point. "And they’re doing a remarkable job staying composed in the chaos. We do see her steal a few extra seconds with that modeling look for the cameras as Bradley and his mom walk off without her."

Wood also draws our attention towards Shayk's attention-grabbing poses, but she believes it could be a sign that the supermodel doesn't necessarily love third-wheeling her partner and his mom. "Irina wants more," she notes. "And she gives him more. She turns her whole body towards him, she leans the front of her body up against him, she tilts her head down to his shoulder. She does several poses to make it look like they’re more intimate but he typically is staying straight up and down in response to all of that affection. She does bids to have more affection with him, bids to show everybody, 'I’m your favorite, I’m your partner.' And he 

doesn’t go full-on to do that."

"[Shayk] doesn’t look all that excited to be sharing the spotlight," notes Brown when first seeing this picture.

On the flip side, Wood notes that his mom is totally cool with third-wheeling the couple. "His mom is fine with it," she says. "It’s funny because he said in an interview that his mom was really nervous, but I was watching videos because I wanted to see her in movement and she’s not doing anything to indicate, ‘Oh, honey, you need to be with your partner. You shouldn’t be with me. Give her more attention.’ She’s just happy in her world with him. She’s very comfortable in her world with him exactly as it is."

The happiest one here is mom," says Brown. "He’s clearly irritated at something and [Shayk] looks angry."

"It looked to me from the hand-hold and how the space was between his mom and him, that they’re both really comfortable and they comfort each other," adds Wood. "Obviously they’ve been doing that for a very long time. So they comfort each other, they draw comfort from each other."

"He’s puckered up and away from her, and if you look at the hand, there’s so much opportunity for him to be touching her back. Instead, we see the little fingertips," says Wood. "In these situations, I have a little bit of reticence about analyzing kisses because the guys don’t want to mess up the girl’s makeup. But, though she may have sprayed her back [with makeup], that shouldn’t keep him from touching her back."

"It’s so tentative and, of course, Lady Gaga is right there," she continues. "It could be that he doesn’t want to mess up the makeup on her face and/or possibly her back. But it’s very tentative. His chest is pulled out and away from her rather than bringing the chest in towards her. So it’s a lot of tentativeness

 mean, I've got to hand it to Shayk. To have to third-wheel your partner and his mom and then watch him perform the steamiest song ever on stage with his on-screen love interest would not be easy. Props to her for staying so cool.

HE MIGHT EVEN FAVOR HIS MOM OVER

www.elitedaily.com/p/bradley-cooper-irina-shayks-2019-oscars-body-language-is-pretty-uncomfortable-16103079?fbclid=IwAR1ADBovsHdvUgZPDr6W_7c9wnxVB7DtEoz1VYU2D9728SEoV41mcSFcwIk


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.