Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog

6 Ways To Subtly Let Your Date Know You're NOT Interested

It’s really awkward telling someone you’re not into them. No one likes sending an it’s-not-you-it’s-me-even-though-it’s-most-certainly-you text. But, nine times out of 10, that’s something you’re going to have to do (presuming you’re neither the ghosting nor the slow fade type). It would make that job a hell of a lot easier — or, if they take the hint, no job at all — if you could low-key send your date I’m-just-not-that-into-you vibes. Practice these cues to send those signals.

1. Break Eye Contact

It seems rude, but breaking eye contact when a person is talking to you and turning your head down and away will signal that you’re uninterested. “You have to be careful of [making] any moves that look smooth and ritualistic, because that can be [interpreted as] sensual. [Practice] more jerky movements,” says Patti Wood, body language expert and author of “Snap: Making The Most Of First Impressions, Body Language & Charisma.”

2. Create Space

“The intimate zone is about 14 to 16 inches away from a person. So if you’re standing, keep out of that zone, even if it’s loud and crowded,” says Wood. She also suggests leaning your head and upper body away from your date when they speak. She does warn that some people may take this as bait and, if that’s the case, you can employ the dismissive move of pushing away. In a quick motion, push off the table or scoot your chair back. “It’s even stronger in its emphasis of being dismissive and [conveying] ‘I am done with you,’” she says.

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Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

The Position You Cuddle In Says Everything About Your Relationship

Patti shared her insights with Elite Daily on "The position you cuddle in says everything about your relationship."

If You Cuddle Wrapped Up In & Facing Each Other...

This one can get hot, sticky and plain uncomfortable (especially in the summer months), but it may be the position most indicative of a loving, mutual, can’t-get-enough-of-you partnership. Lying entangled in your partner’s arms can be a sign of true relationship satisfaction. “It means your lives are intertwined, that you function as a pair,” Patti Wood, body language expert and author of Success Signals, A Guide to Reading Body Language, tells Elite Daily. “You probably finish each other's sentences and take care of each other."

If You Sleep Back-To-Back With Only Your Butts Touching…

Don’t worry, sleeping this way doesn’t mean you hate your lover. But it could signify your desire to stay a free spirit, even when you’re romantically tied down. Wood says that bottoms touching demonstrates your commitment to staying sexually connected. Still, simultaneously facing away from each other shows both your and your partner’s abilities to appreciate your own space, trust in one another, and remain independent. to remain independent, appreciation of your own space, and trust in one another.

If You Spoon…

According to Cox, spooning is the “classic happy couple position — you’re both loving and want to be physically close.” Wood calls spooning “vulnerable,” pointing out that it’s one of the most sexually tempting of the cuddle positions. Wood told Cosmopolitan that if you’re the little spoon, the position is sexual but says, “I trust you.” If you’re the big spoon, it may mean you’re protective of your partner, and perhaps a bit possessive. And if you spoon with a few inches of space between you, Wood said it means “I’ve got your back, you can count on me” — although it’s not as sexual as spooning closer.

Ultimately, what matters most is that you and your partner sleep in a position you’re both comfortable in. And while sleeping close together can be a sign of intimacy, sleeping with space between you doesn’t have to mean your relationship isn’t strong, or that you love each other less. As long as you’re communicating your love and appreciation for each other in clear ways during your waking hours, don’t worry too much about who spoons who and where to put your feet at night.

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Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

What Does Your Couples Pose Say About You?

Patti shares her insights on "What Does Your Couples Pose Say About You?" for Elite Daily.

It’s super common for couples to hold hands in photos. Wood, who has been studying handholding and other forms of touch for well over 20 years, says it can reveal a lot about the power dynamic in a relationship, as well as demonstrate a certain kind of tenderness. She also says the placement of the hands can indicate which person is in control — or wants to be.

“There’s just a wealth of information in a handhold,” she says. “Typically, it reveals something about connection and control. If a couple chooses to hold hands, at least one member of the couple wants to be seen as a unit. Look for certain qualities of interconnectedness between the hands, and whose hand is on top and whose is on the bottom.”

Another popular pose is for one partner to place their hand on the other’s chest or stomach. Wood explains that this may be just a practical way for the shorter partner to stay physically connected and express affection. But she notes that it can also sometimes be a way of saying “they’re mine” because the hand forms a barrier between the partner and other people. In order to distinguish between the two possibilities, Wood often looks for subtleties in the hand. For example, a relaxed, loosely cupped hand on the chest is less likely to suggest possessiveness than a hand that’s pressed down tightly for more control.

But what about the hand on the lower back? Experts agree that can mean multiple things as well.

“It can be very chivalrous or it can have a negative connotation depending on the context of the situation,” says Traci Brown.

Wood concurs, noting that it can show one partner’s desire to help and guide the other.

“The thing to look at is — how easy is it for the person to get out of their position? That tells you a lot about the power balance.”

Wood points out that it’s a lot easier to step backwards and forward with a hand on your lower back than it is with a hand on your upper back, which may indicate a message of ownership or control.

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Great Time in Boca - Body Language and Selling Program

Pic taken before my speech

Great time speaking on Body Language and Selling at the International Shaw Convention in Boca. And sometimes the conference where you speak is over the top cool, filled with smart people from all over the world who want to know about body language and at night you dance wild silent disco and form a hundred person Conga line and head to your yacht. Well, you want it to be your yacht. The people on it seem nice. I think if I asked, they would let me have, don’t you? I sing and dance great “yacht rock.” Heading over!

High Energy, Interactive "Reach Out" Program

100 great people, mostly software engineers. When I say my programs are high energy and interactive I’m taking about how great my audiences are. I am so lucky. We had a blast!!

Check the video below to see the amazing energy of my audience in an exercise in my “Reach Out” motivational speech Wednesday.