Can You Fall In Love At First Sight?

As I discuss in my book SNAP First Impressions are highly accurate with a couple of caveats, If you are physically attracted to someone the accuracy of your first impression goes down significantly.

Some of you are saying that explains my first marriage.

According to research, you can fall in love at first sight, especially if you BELIVE you can. Again according to research men are more likely to fall in love at first sight. Men are more likely to do so if the receiver of the love, at first sight, matches their physical ideal of physical attractiveness. And if a man falls in love at first sight and marries, it is more likely to lead to a long-term happy relationship for both members of the couple.

In my book I say, 

In American culture, we decide whether or not we like someone in the first 10 seconds of an interaction. 10 to ninety seconds is not a lot of time we are not exchanging a lot of words. We are exchanging a lot of nonverbal communication. We can exchange up to ten thousand nonverbal cues in less than one minute of interaction. (That is in any minute of interaction) with someone. Obviously, there is no way you can possibly process ten thousand cues at the conscious level you process most of body language cues at the subconscious level. In looking for the right love you need to bring some of that subconscious knowledge up to your conscious control. To notice bodies like you have never noticed bodies before.

 

The Body Language Expert Patti Wood For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Zendaya and Tom Holland’s body language at a Spider-Man photo call

ow that it’s officially the holiday season, I must ask: Is there any gift better than red carpet photos of Zendaya? No, no there is not. And between publicity for Dune this fall and Spider-Man: No Way Home this winter, we have been spoiled (spoiled!) with shots of the 24-year-old star in 2021. Outfit inspo aside, Zendaya and Tom Holland’s body language at a Spider-Man photo call in London on Sunday, Dec. 5 offered us an extra special glimpse into the actors’ (and real-life partners!) chemistry off-screen. While they definitely seemed a little reserved in front of the cameras, they were also pretty flirtatious, and undeniably adorable. Dating rumors began swirling around these co-stars in 2017, though they only publicly confirmed their relationship in 2021. Although they’re both seasoned in the art of the red carpet walk, Zendaya and Tom didn’t appear to let their guards down entirely. While it’s impossible to know exactly what was running through their heads during this moment, their posture and facial expressions give us some clues. Elite Daily chatted with Patti Wood, body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language & Charisma, to gain insight on Zendaya and Tom’s connection based on their body language. In a photo that almost looks like they’re meeting for the first time (which they’re not, obvi), Zendaya’s tilted head and hand-on-heart suggest that she’s feeling simultaneously coquettish and cautious of Tom. “She does a head tilt, which is a little bit flirty — women tilt their heads to reveal the vulnerable part of the neck, and it’s kind of defined as a ‘come hither’ cue,” says Wood. “It’s interesting, because she’s actually saying ‘come hither,’ but she’s also blocking her heart. The palm of her hand is blocking her heart.” In the world of body language analysis, there are no coincidences — that gesture typically indicates a need to protect yourself. Oh, and that hand hold? It’s cute, for sure, but Wood says it’s not the most intimate or lustful gesture from either Zendaya or Tom. “The way he has his palm?” Wood points out. “He’s not holding [her hand], he’s not encompassing [it]. There’s nothing sexual in that… [Her] fingers aren’t curling around, there’s no interlacing.” The red carpet photos also suggest a slight mismatch in their sexual connection, Although Wood notices that Zendaya is giving Holland a “sexy” gaze in many of the photos, it’s not always reciprocated. In fact, he looks pretty tense. Wood explains that Holland has “erect posture, some tension in his smile, and his hand in his pocket.” Sure, it could be the event making him uncomfortable, but as a successful actor, Holland is no stranger to the red carpet. Wood guesses, “It could be ‘I don’t want to show any sexual connection with her.’” (Fair — he’s in work mode.) However, this tension wasn’t consistent. In one photo, Holland’s feet and pelvis are tilted toward Zendaya, hinting at his interest in her. And in another, Zendaya and Holland shared an “intimate zone of space” (they’re less than two feet apart). This proximity typically indicates a desire for connection. Not to mention, they shared a “really nice mutual gaze” during the Spider-Man photocall. With “lifted cheeks” and deep eye contact, Wood flags this look as a “love gaze.” Here, though, Zendaya was the one who looked slightly on edge. “Her heart is pulled back slightly as if to say, ‘I need to protect myself.’” Such a wide range of mixed signals might seem like a bad sign for the couple, but that’s not necessarily accurate. In fact, per Wood, it might be a result of a joint decision that the couple made to keep their romance on the more private side. Wood says that the duo’s body language might reflect “decisions they are making to be independent.” “I’m seeing her desire to protect, and I’m seeing a little tension in him,” Wood explains. “They’re not ready to be seen as a full couple… Maybe they’re just not quite ready to be seen as a unit.” After all, they are co-workers. Keeping things professional during a work event (because, yes, for A-listers, red carpets are work events) is probably a good policy. All in all, Zendaya and Holland’s body language is full of contradictions. And although their closeness might not be super obvious in these red carpet photos, there’s no doubting Zendaya and Holland’s connection. During the event, Holland himself explained their relationship to the Associated Press, “​​The biggest way is just companionship, you know, like two friends coming together, experiencing this world, going through the same problems at the same times, having a shoulder to cry on, has been a huge thing for the pair of us.” Spider-man and MJ have nothing on these two. Link to article with Photos https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/zendaya-tom-holland-body-language-spider-man-photo-call

Do Masks on Children in School Interfere with a Childs Development?

We primal hard-wiring that makes our eyes unconsciously look at interesting things, especially faces, and look away from unpleasant things. So much of how children can learn, and be emotionally healthy about masks is how the adults and other children in their lives view masks and those who wear them. Children can be quick to adapt and read body language without mouth cues as long as those around them see people wearing them as normal. But if they see those wearing masks as scary, they will associate them with danger rather than safety.

Eye Scanning—We scan faces according to a systematic pattern. The pattern consists of a series of triangles that crisscross the eyes and then travel down to the mouth. During an initial interpretation, we spend 75 percent of the time exploring the triangle of the eyes and mouth, 10 percent on the forehead and hair, and 5 percent on the chin, with the remaining 10 percent devoted to other features. The average scanning time is around 3 seconds.

One of the main stress points adults have when wearing masks is they feel they can see or show a smile to show they are friendly. The smile is such an important signal of friendliness that it can be recognized from a football field away. Smiling is a "harmless" cue that makes you look less threatening. Smiling makes people feel safe as you approach or lets them know it's safe to approach you because you are smiling. But many of the facial cues that indicate a "real" smile occurs above the mask.

We have learned to read those cues and simply showing children how to read them and be confident in reading a true smile can help children adapt and be more comfortable wearing a mask in the classroom. (We can fake a smile with the mouth, and you can recognize a real smile from just the eyes. 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Do Leaders Need Soft Skills?

I speak to millions and billon dollar business owners and C-suite executives on body language and leadership. Why? -Yes, More than ever. They have to assess and respond to the needs of their employees. If they are oblivious to the nonverbal cues and don't put credits in the "relationship account, they won't be able to keep their employees happy, prevent conflict, and keep their employees motivated. Leaders say their top two priorities right now are how to hire the best employees, keep employees from leaving, and detect deception.

Are Narcissists Happy? Body Language Expert Patti Wood

Happiness and Malignant Narcissism. Years ago, I was dating a charming Malignant Narcissist and broke up with him. One of his arguments in his plea to keep me was that I couldn't break up with him because he always has to start a new business when a woman breaks up with him, as otherwise, the emptiness in his life makes him feel like he is in a deep dark void. He already had too many businesses and didn't want to start another one. He didn't say what he liked and loved about me. Instead, he shared the emptiness he would feel without me in his life and equated that with the fulfillment of starting and business. Not very romantic, but it does show how Malignant Narcissists view their happiness met by a supply of stimulation filling a void. Malignant narcissists feel happy when they are fed well with Narcissistic supply. What makes them "Happy" is different. They don't feel the normal human emotions of love, bonding, and empathy. Those parts of their brains don't light up. Instead, their brains light up when they are admired and feel they can control others. They are happy, creating negative emotions in others. T They are puppet masters. Normal (low score on a continuum) narcissists can receive pleasure and happiness, making people happy. For example, a normal narcissists actor derives pleasure from the applause of a delighted audience watching them perform. However, the malignant narcissist pleasure centers light up when they see and or create intense negative emotions like drama, fear, pain, and discord in others. These emotions create the MG's "Narcissistic Supply." Because they lack those loving bonding emotions