I was just reading a newsletter from Ravenwood that listed the ranking of the importance of communication skills in business. Of course it typically comes out as number one. Years ago when I was working on my Masters Degree at Auburn University my major Professor Larry Barker was not only one of the countries leading authorities on body language he was the president of the National Listening Association. He quoted research back in 1982 that listed good communication skills as the number one success factor in business. It is funny to me that anyone would think otherwise. If you don't listen. If you can not express your self and your needs clearly how can you possibly successful. The problem now is that there are fewer and fewer new employees that have even the most basic of communication skills. Here are the lists.
USA Today ranked communication skills #1 among a list of twelve success factors (Problem solving and an understanding of organizational structure ranked #2 and #3 respectively)
The Lamille Report of Top Executives ranked communications skills #1 among a list of ten success factors (Intelligence and integrity ranked #2 and #3 respectively)
A Society for Human Resource Management poll conducted in conjunction with the Wall Street Journal confirmed that "soft skills" now top the career success factor list for experienced employees
A study by the Center for Creative Leadership identified command of soft skills as the leading determinant of successful change management for executives
A study by Office Team concluded sixty-seven percent of HR managers would hire a candidate with strong soft skills whose technical abilities were lacking. Only nine percent would hire someone with strong technical expertise but weak interpersonal skills
What Does Playing with a Wedding Ring Mean
If a person twists their wedding ring as they are talking to you it typically means they are attracted to you and they are aware of the bond they are under and have a desire to ignore that bond. If they move the ring up and down the finger it shows there desire not to just ignore but to remove that bond. Men and Woman can also make these movements in a conversation with people they aren’t attracted to merely because the conversation make them regret their bond of marriage.
Body Language and Wedding Rings
At the request of The Sun newspaper in Canada I made some comments about body language and wedding rings because Jennifer Lopez had sparked rumors about splitting with husband Marc Anthony, after she had been photographed at a red carpet event without her wedding ring.
Here are the notes I sent to the reporter answering her questions...
What does it mean when someone stops wearing his or her wedding ring. Does it always spell trouble? Why would any women do this? Is this a way to punish your spouse or send a message? What about men who don’t wear rings? Or is it just a trend and is of little significance?
After all, when Madonna stepped out minus the wedding band, the media speculated that her union was on the rocks - and they were right. What does it mean if you just switch the ring in favor of a splashy art deco ring just for the night - like Michelle Obama did?
Anytime a woman takes off her wedding ring it sends a powerful message. A wedding ring symbolizes your bond and union. A woman can do it as a passive aggressive message. Jennifer Lopez is symbolically saying something is wrong. Some women take off the ring for an event to say symbolically "I am my own person." Some take it off to say silently, “my husband broke our bond by being unfaithful.” Some women take off their wedding ring to say, “I am available again.” No matter what the reason, a woman not wearing a wedding ring is rarely just a fashion statement. In rare cases, not wearing a wedding ring may be necessary because the person has problems with his or her fingers swelling or the ring is lost, but a women caught without her ring will usually speak to those extenuating circumstances immediately. In J-Lo’s case I think the fact that she is not wearing her ring shows a message that there are problems. In Michelle’s case I believe it was to show that she is an independent, powerful woman on her own. Typically, women are socially rewarded for their relationships and men for their work and independence. Women start their sentences with "we" much more often than men. That gender difference is dramatic. When a man wears a ring he is saying, “I am proud of my bond.” When he takes it off he is saying, " I am open to other offers."
I would love to hear your thoughts and comments!
The Washington Post described Patti as, "The Babe Ruth of Body Language." and the New York Times credited her with bringing the topic to national attention. A professional speaker, author and body language expert she reads the nonverbal cues of world leaders, celebrities, criminals, business leaders and the world at large. She has been interviewed on: The BBC, CNN, FOX news, PBS, The History Channel, E!, The Discovery Channel, US Weekly, USA Today, Psychology Today, Cosmopolitan and many more. Time Magazine recognized her nonverbal communication course at Florida State University as a top college course in the US. Patti has been researching, writing and speaking on the topic since 1982. Her latest book is "Success Signals Understanding Body Language" and can be found at http://www.pattiwood.net/.
Here are the notes I sent to the reporter answering her questions...
What does it mean when someone stops wearing his or her wedding ring. Does it always spell trouble? Why would any women do this? Is this a way to punish your spouse or send a message? What about men who don’t wear rings? Or is it just a trend and is of little significance?
After all, when Madonna stepped out minus the wedding band, the media speculated that her union was on the rocks - and they were right. What does it mean if you just switch the ring in favor of a splashy art deco ring just for the night - like Michelle Obama did?
Anytime a woman takes off her wedding ring it sends a powerful message. A wedding ring symbolizes your bond and union. A woman can do it as a passive aggressive message. Jennifer Lopez is symbolically saying something is wrong. Some women take off the ring for an event to say symbolically "I am my own person." Some take it off to say silently, “my husband broke our bond by being unfaithful.” Some women take off their wedding ring to say, “I am available again.” No matter what the reason, a woman not wearing a wedding ring is rarely just a fashion statement. In rare cases, not wearing a wedding ring may be necessary because the person has problems with his or her fingers swelling or the ring is lost, but a women caught without her ring will usually speak to those extenuating circumstances immediately. In J-Lo’s case I think the fact that she is not wearing her ring shows a message that there are problems. In Michelle’s case I believe it was to show that she is an independent, powerful woman on her own. Typically, women are socially rewarded for their relationships and men for their work and independence. Women start their sentences with "we" much more often than men. That gender difference is dramatic. When a man wears a ring he is saying, “I am proud of my bond.” When he takes it off he is saying, " I am open to other offers."
I would love to hear your thoughts and comments!
The Washington Post described Patti as, "The Babe Ruth of Body Language." and the New York Times credited her with bringing the topic to national attention. A professional speaker, author and body language expert she reads the nonverbal cues of world leaders, celebrities, criminals, business leaders and the world at large. She has been interviewed on: The BBC, CNN, FOX news, PBS, The History Channel, E!, The Discovery Channel, US Weekly, USA Today, Psychology Today, Cosmopolitan and many more. Time Magazine recognized her nonverbal communication course at Florida State University as a top college course in the US. Patti has been researching, writing and speaking on the topic since 1982. Her latest book is "Success Signals Understanding Body Language" and can be found at http://www.pattiwood.net/.
How did you play as a child?
I have a question that I love to ask people at whenever I whenever I am with a small group say at a dinner party. I ask each person what was their favorite thing to do as a child between the ages of 6 and 10 and then I ask them what they do for living. I love how often people share how their childhood play became their adult work. A friend who took apart every electric thing in the house became and engineer, a friend that painted and drew became and artist, a friend who liked to figure out how things where made and how they could be made better became a six sigma process engineer, a friend who loved to read and write became and editor and writer for NASA.
I would love to know how you played and if your childhood play effected what you choose to do as an adult.
I am one of the luckiest people on the planet. I use to do “shows” as a kid. I would be Herman of the Hermits and sing and dance with my friends on the porch of our house. I was Queen of the Cooties on the playground and the leader of all the games, whether it was who can make the biggest bubble with the bubble maker, built the best fort, or who can make the snowman that last the longest on the lawn. From forth grade on I also loved to watch people and I would write little poems and songs about what I saw, I carried a little notebook with me all the time from forth grade till college and filled it with my fun observations. And even learned to play the guitar so I could sing them. I loved playing and I loved the game of watching people and trying to figure out their secret story. Now I get to do it all my favorite play as living. I am a body language expert and I am a professional speaker and trainer and get to play with my audiences. (See my website for videos of how much fun we have.)
I would love to know how you played and if your childhood play effected what you choose to do as an adult.
I am one of the luckiest people on the planet. I use to do “shows” as a kid. I would be Herman of the Hermits and sing and dance with my friends on the porch of our house. I was Queen of the Cooties on the playground and the leader of all the games, whether it was who can make the biggest bubble with the bubble maker, built the best fort, or who can make the snowman that last the longest on the lawn. From forth grade on I also loved to watch people and I would write little poems and songs about what I saw, I carried a little notebook with me all the time from forth grade till college and filled it with my fun observations. And even learned to play the guitar so I could sing them. I loved playing and I loved the game of watching people and trying to figure out their secret story. Now I get to do it all my favorite play as living. I am a body language expert and I am a professional speaker and trainer and get to play with my audiences. (See my website for videos of how much fun we have.)
Nonverbal Communication and phone calls
This week I got a phone call from my friend Michael who lives in Paris. I have know Michael since he was a 19 year old student in my body language course at Florida State. I hadn't heard his voice in about a year and it always goes straight to my heart. His voice is uniquely smokey and rough and after 15 years in Paris he has a French accent and cadence. But the most wonderful thing about his voice is that I can tell from one word that it is Michael and from one word I know I know I can feel safe and loved. That's pretty remarkable in the book, "The Human Voice, the author writes that a study in the US found that , for m just forty seconds of surgeon patient consultations from which the words had en filtered out leaving tone of voice alone, listeners could tell which doctors had been sued from malpractice and which hadn't. the degree of dominance or concern in the surgeons' voice was a giveaway." (Nlini Ambady.et al, "Surguen."
ons' Tone of Voice: a clue to Malpractice History'. surgery, 2002.132.)
I have written about voice before. Today I want to share that that unique voice print is a wondrous thing. The ability to hear one word over the phone and identify it is remarkable.
There is another part of the distinctive tremors and pitches of the voice. That is the ability to hear a single word and know what is going on with the person. How many times have you called someone and known from the first word out of their mouth that something was wrong?
ons' Tone of Voice: a clue to Malpractice History'. surgery, 2002.132.)
I have written about voice before. Today I want to share that that unique voice print is a wondrous thing. The ability to hear one word over the phone and identify it is remarkable.
There is another part of the distinctive tremors and pitches of the voice. That is the ability to hear a single word and know what is going on with the person. How many times have you called someone and known from the first word out of their mouth that something was wrong?
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