I responded to a media sour from Golf Magazine who was asking for the health benefits of playing golf. I gave them a rather unusual mental health benefit. The benefit of relationship bonding that comes to men when they sit in a golf cart side by side togther for a day of golf.
As a body language expert and researcher for the last 27 years I love to share this fact. Men, as a gender prefer to sit side by side with each other. Wired in the brain primal survival instinct. When the front of their bodies are not vulnerable It makes them feel safe. Think of men going into battle together side by side. Men will automatically feel bonded when they interact at a table or counter or bar when they sit side by side. Research shows that men will also increase their self disclosure with one another when sitting in this position. Let's go back to the golf example. When men sit in golf cart they are sitting side by side and less than 14 inches apart from one another. That is what researchers call the "intimate" zone of space. So men are more likely not only self disclose, but also to feel closer and more intimate with one another siting with each other on a golf care. Therefore they will be more likely to share personal more intimate information. Now add the time dimension. The longer men are together side to side in an intimate zone of space, ie a golf cart for 18 holes of golf which typically takes all day or a minimum of three hours you have a scientific recipe for men to bond that is really unique to the sport of golf.
Why people should gesture when speaking.
A former audience member asked the following questions recently, "What's the protocol when someone uses their hands when they are speaking?" "Is this in poor taste!" "Do you have any literature out there on this type of body language?" I sent her a chapter from my success signals book to explain why gesturing to emphasize what you are saying can help your speak more eloquently and speak more from your heart. Here is my Success Signals book excerpt.
Gesturing can help you think and speak from your heart. When you gesture you show your personality to your others. Why? Because your arms come out from your heart they show how open and receptive you are to everyone you meet and interact with, so when you open your hands wide and hold them high you show you are open, when you hide them behind your back or glue them to your sides you show you are not willing to embrace the person or situation your in. Personality tests say that the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use your arms and the more you gesture broadly. The quieter and more introverted the less you move your arms away from your body. How do you gesture and what does it say about you?
Understanding gestures can help you increase your sales they help you think and help you read what other people are thinking. The first thing they do it show your personality to your prospect. Because your arms come out from your heart they show how open and receptive you are to everyone you meet and interact with, so when you open your hands wide and hold them high you show you are open to your prospect when hide them behind your back or glue them to your sides you show you are not willing to embrace the person or situation your in. Personality tests say that the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use your arms and the more you gesture broadly. The quieter and more introverted the less you move your arms away from your body. How do you gesture and what does it say about you?
We use more gestures when we’re excited or trying to communicate a difficult message. There are more than 100,000 possible hand signals using different combinations of postures, arm, and wrist or finger movements. No wonder we keep on doing that crazy hand jive! As a professional speaker, I use an enormous number of gestures. Research says lecturers make twice as many hand gestures as people who are talking one-on-one. Gesturing actually helps you access information in your brain and helps you form your messages. Think of gesturing as the way you pull out the file cabinet's in your brain to search for information.
To read more you can purchase my body language book at www.PattiWood.net by clicking on products.
Gesturing can help you think and speak from your heart. When you gesture you show your personality to your others. Why? Because your arms come out from your heart they show how open and receptive you are to everyone you meet and interact with, so when you open your hands wide and hold them high you show you are open, when you hide them behind your back or glue them to your sides you show you are not willing to embrace the person or situation your in. Personality tests say that the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use your arms and the more you gesture broadly. The quieter and more introverted the less you move your arms away from your body. How do you gesture and what does it say about you?
Understanding gestures can help you increase your sales they help you think and help you read what other people are thinking. The first thing they do it show your personality to your prospect. Because your arms come out from your heart they show how open and receptive you are to everyone you meet and interact with, so when you open your hands wide and hold them high you show you are open to your prospect when hide them behind your back or glue them to your sides you show you are not willing to embrace the person or situation your in. Personality tests say that the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use your arms and the more you gesture broadly. The quieter and more introverted the less you move your arms away from your body. How do you gesture and what does it say about you?
We use more gestures when we’re excited or trying to communicate a difficult message. There are more than 100,000 possible hand signals using different combinations of postures, arm, and wrist or finger movements. No wonder we keep on doing that crazy hand jive! As a professional speaker, I use an enormous number of gestures. Research says lecturers make twice as many hand gestures as people who are talking one-on-one. Gesturing actually helps you access information in your brain and helps you form your messages. Think of gesturing as the way you pull out the file cabinet's in your brain to search for information.
To read more you can purchase my body language book at www.PattiWood.net by clicking on products.
Body Language Tools to Build Confidence in Job Interviews
I just responded to a media request for tools to "... prepare people mentally to go into the interview and do the best they can. With the job market in the shape it is in now, people who have an interview are extremely lucky and they cannot afford to become stressed or "psyched out" before talking to a potential employer. I responded.
I am a body language expert I just had a coaching session with a client where we used some of my confidence building tools for job interviews.
One powerful technique to gain confidence and keep yourself from getting stressed during and interview is to imagine the emotions you want the interviewer to have about you and deliver the body language that elicits those emotions. For my client today the emotion he wanted the interviewer to feel was excitement. So you he said the word excitement and then moved and held his body up and leaned forward and gestured as he shared his positive work experiences . He smiled and even laughed as he relayed one particular story. He didn't feel excited in the moment before he started moving his body, he felt afraid. But he said, "It was weird as soon as I brought my shoulders back and smiled and put some energy in my voice I got it sighted." "It felt like I had just had a cup of Starbucks" So go into your interview showing excitement with up, energetic nonverbal behavior. Do know, of course that there are caveats to excitement being the appropriate response. But overall your demeanor can illicit the appropriate emotion for the situation.
A second techniques to build confidence is to move and hold your body “UP!” I created the label UP. to describe all upward posture and movements and facial expressions such as, head held up, gestures with up motions. When we are happy are body naturally moves up and holds itself up. When you hold or move your body the way you would like to feel the posture actually sends a message to the brain, “Hey I am feeling great, positive and up.” As you hold your body the little pharmacy in your brain starts producing the chemicals that match that state, (in as little as a 40th of a second.) and pumps them into your body and you begin to feel up. The combination of your up posture and movement up and chemical up state is felt by the interviewer. They start to give you attentive nonverbal cues and that makes you feel more confident. I call this the fake it till you make it technique. You only have to fake it for a fraction of a second before it actually effects how you feel.
A third tool is to choose a word that expresses how you would like to feel in your interview and then get into a posture that matches it. So if your word is CONFIDENT your put your body in an open position, arms away from your body, legs uncrossed shoulder back heart forward, extending eye-contact for as long as three seconds, and make your voice going down at the end of sentences. (We tend to tighten the vocal chords when we are tense and the high, sometimes screechy sound is not powerful. When we use positive words we can alter how are brain functions by increasing cognitive reasoning and strengthening areas in our frontal lobes. Using postie words in your life more than negative ones can kick-start the motivational centers of the brain, propelling them to action.
And a forth techniques is to use that same magic word to replace any negative thoughts you have about the interview. For example, replace the though, “ I am going to mess up is and forget what to say with your magic word. “I am going to be CONFIDENT and remember what I want to say.”
So imagine confidence and use the word to motivate yourself and move up to be more confident!
E-mail Patti - Patti@PattiWood.net
I am a body language expert I just had a coaching session with a client where we used some of my confidence building tools for job interviews.
One powerful technique to gain confidence and keep yourself from getting stressed during and interview is to imagine the emotions you want the interviewer to have about you and deliver the body language that elicits those emotions. For my client today the emotion he wanted the interviewer to feel was excitement. So you he said the word excitement and then moved and held his body up and leaned forward and gestured as he shared his positive work experiences . He smiled and even laughed as he relayed one particular story. He didn't feel excited in the moment before he started moving his body, he felt afraid. But he said, "It was weird as soon as I brought my shoulders back and smiled and put some energy in my voice I got it sighted." "It felt like I had just had a cup of Starbucks" So go into your interview showing excitement with up, energetic nonverbal behavior. Do know, of course that there are caveats to excitement being the appropriate response. But overall your demeanor can illicit the appropriate emotion for the situation.
A second techniques to build confidence is to move and hold your body “UP!” I created the label UP. to describe all upward posture and movements and facial expressions such as, head held up, gestures with up motions. When we are happy are body naturally moves up and holds itself up. When you hold or move your body the way you would like to feel the posture actually sends a message to the brain, “Hey I am feeling great, positive and up.” As you hold your body the little pharmacy in your brain starts producing the chemicals that match that state, (in as little as a 40th of a second.) and pumps them into your body and you begin to feel up. The combination of your up posture and movement up and chemical up state is felt by the interviewer. They start to give you attentive nonverbal cues and that makes you feel more confident. I call this the fake it till you make it technique. You only have to fake it for a fraction of a second before it actually effects how you feel.
A third tool is to choose a word that expresses how you would like to feel in your interview and then get into a posture that matches it. So if your word is CONFIDENT your put your body in an open position, arms away from your body, legs uncrossed shoulder back heart forward, extending eye-contact for as long as three seconds, and make your voice going down at the end of sentences. (We tend to tighten the vocal chords when we are tense and the high, sometimes screechy sound is not powerful. When we use positive words we can alter how are brain functions by increasing cognitive reasoning and strengthening areas in our frontal lobes. Using postie words in your life more than negative ones can kick-start the motivational centers of the brain, propelling them to action.
And a forth techniques is to use that same magic word to replace any negative thoughts you have about the interview. For example, replace the though, “ I am going to mess up is and forget what to say with your magic word. “I am going to be CONFIDENT and remember what I want to say.”
So imagine confidence and use the word to motivate yourself and move up to be more confident!
E-mail Patti - Patti@PattiWood.net
Body Language of Ed Westwick will be in In Touch Weekly
Today I was asked by In Touch weekly magazine to read the body language of Ed Westwick (the guy on the right) He ended his ended his “bromance” with co-star Chace Crawford (best friend/roomate) and is hanging out with another guy at a basketball game. Tune in Wednesday for the read.
What is Barbie's middle and last name?
My friend Mark just emailed me that Mattel's Barbie was "born" Barbie Millicent Roberts on March 9, 1959. This is important information. Read posts I wrote today on her attractiveness.
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