Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog

Why 'I'm So Happy I Could Cry Makes Sense

Why We Cry When We are Happy and May smile When We Are Very Sad.

As a family we often watch an emotional TV recording of my brother-in-law coming home from the Gulf War. As he gets off the plane, my sister and the children are running towards him crying, not looking happy at all. Have you ever seen someone cry when they are happy or have a smile on their face when they are sad? New research shows people use “negative” emotion to stabilize their feeling. The research study is below. I am fascinated by this nonverbal behavior. I love to see happy crying. It is such a sincere, amazing behavior to witness. On the other hand, I find it deeply disturbing when I analyze interrogation videos or courtroom footage of suspected murders for the media and I see them give what I call a “cover smile” when they relay some of the most hideous aspects of the crime. In this case the suspect is trying to regulate the emotions of guilt by smiling to look innocent and it feels disturbing to us to watch. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/11/141111124047.htm

November 11, 2014

Yale University

The phrase 'tears of joy' never made much sense to one American psychologist. But after conducting a series of studies of such seemingly incongruous expressions, she now understands better why people cry when they are happy.

he phrase "tears of joy" never made much sense to Yale psychologist Oriana Aragon. But after conducting a series of studies of such seemingly incongruous expressions, she now understands better why people cry when they are happy.

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"People may be restoring emotional equilibrium with these expressions," said Aragon, lead author of work to be published in the journal Psychological Science. "They seem to take place when people are overwhelmed with strong positive emotions, and people who do this seem to recover better from those strong emotions."

There are many examples of responding to a positive experience with a negative emotion. A crying spouse is reunited with a soldier returning from war. Teen girls scream at a Justin Bieber concert and so do soccer players as they score a winning goal. The baseball player who hits a winning home run is pounded at home plate by teammates. And when introduced to babies "too cute for words," some can't resist pinching their cheeks.

"I was surprised no one ever asked why that is," she said.

Aragon and her colleagues at Yale ran subjects through some of these scenarios and measured their responses to cute babies or happy reunions. They found that individuals who express negative reactions to positive news were able to moderate intense emotions more quickly. They also found people who are most likely to cry at their child's graduation are most likely to want to pinch a cute baby's cheeks.

There is also some evidence that strong negative feelings may provoke positive expressions; for example nervous laughter appears when people are confronted with a difficult or frightening situations, and smiles have been found by other psychologists to occur during extreme sadness.

These new discoveries begin to explain common things that many people do but don't even understand themselves, Aragon said.

"These insights advance our understanding of how people express and control their emotions, which is importantly related to mental and physical health, the quality of relationships with others, and even how well people work together," she said.

Story Source:

The above story is based on materials provided by Yale University. The original article was written by Bill Hathaway. Note: Materials may be edited for content and length.

Journal Reference:

1. E. J. Boothby, M. S. Clark, J. A. Bargh. Shared Experiences Are Amplified. Psychological Science, 2014; DOI: 10.1177/0956797614551162

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Yale University. "Why 'I'm so happy I could cry' makes sense." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 11 November 2014.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Research on How Cell Phone Use Effects Happiness, Anxiety and GPA

Though we know that people who use their cell phones are able to make quick “shallow decisions” such as I want this text or I don’t want to take this call, what is worrisome to me is cell phone use is preventing people from having healthy social interactions, and in fact is making social interactions more stressful. I keep up with the social psychology and neurobiology research on cell phone and computer use and I think this article is particularly interesting. Read it below and email me with your thoughts.
Link to article http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0747563213003993

Computers in Human Behavior

Volume 31, February 2014 Pages 343-350.

The relationship between cell phone use, academic performance, anxiety, and Satisfaction with Life in college students

By Andrew Lepp^,, Jacob E. Barkley , Aryn C. Karpinski

Highlights

  Measured cell phone use (CPUse) to include the device’s complete range of functions.

  CPUse was negatively related to students’ actual Grade Point Average (GPA).

  CPUse was positively related to anxiety (as measured by Beck’s Anxiety Inventory).

  GPA was positively and anxiety was negatively related to Satisfaction with Life (SWL).

  Path analysis showed CPUse is related to SWL as mediated by GPA and anxiety.

Abstract

While functional differences between today’s cell phones and traditional computers are becoming less clear, one difference remains plain – cell phones are almost always on-hand and allow users to connect with an array of services and networks at almost any time and any place. The Pew Center’s Internet and American Life Project suggests that college students are the most rapid adopters of cell phone technology and research is emerging which suggests high frequency cell phone use may be influencing their health and behavior. Thus, we investigated the relationships between total cell phone use (N = 496) and texting (N = 490) on Satisfaction with Life (SWL) in a large sample of college students. It was hypothesized that the relationship would be mediated by Academic Performance (GPA) and anxiety. Two separate path models indicated that the cell phone use and texting models had good overall fit. Cell phone use/texting was negatively related to GPA and positively related to anxiety; in turn, GPA was positively related to SWL while anxiety was negatively related to SWL. These findings add to the debate about student cell phone use, and how increased use may negatively impact academic performance, mental health, and subjective well-being or happiness.

Keywords:

Mobile phones; GPA; Anxiety; Satisfaction with Life; Technology; Post-secondary education

Corresponding author. Tel.: +1 (330) 672 0218; fax: +1 (330) 672 4106.

Research Study Shows Women Don’t Like to Brag about Themselves, It Makes Them Feel Anxious

This study indicates that a woman doesn't mind bragging about others and they feel better about bragging when the environment is different. Here is the study.

Bragging rights: Study shows that interventions help women's reluctance to discuss accomplishments

Date - January 13, 2014

Source - Montana State University

Summary:

Research found that women dislike promoting their own accomplishments, but it is possible for negative effects to be offset and to improve self-promotion.

A study published by Jessi L. Smith, professor of psychology at Montana State University, and Meghan Huntoon, who was Smith's student at MSU when research was conducted, has found that gender norms about modesty help explain why women don't feel comfortable bragging about their own accomplishments. However, intervention techniques can help women to communicate more effectively about their successes.

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"Women's Bragging Rights: Overcoming Modesty Norms to Facilitate Women's Self-Promotion" was published in the Dec. 20 issue of Psychology of Women Quarterly.

The research, which sampled nearly 80 MSU undergraduate women, confirmed that women downplay their own accomplishments but have no trouble promoting a friend, Smith said. Past research had already shown than men are not affected by modesty norms like women are. However, this was among the first studies to test ways to intervene to help women write about themselves effectively.

"We also showed that we can intervene positively, and women can absolutely write about their accomplishments effectively," Smith said.

Smith said she and Huntoon, now a doctoral student in psychology at Northern Illinois University, launched the study when Smith observed an interesting response to a request for submissions to an MSU Women's Faculty Caucus newsletter.

"Nobody responded about themselves. Not one," Smith recalled. However, many women told Smith about really great things happening with their friends and colleagues.

"We wondered what was going on, so we began looking at the research," Smith said.

Smith said they found that American women are reluctant to talk about their own accomplishments because cultural norms promote modesty. And, society disapproves of women who are perceived to be bragging about themselves. However, Smith said, American men who brag about their accomplishments are perceived as confident and capable.

"We live in a society where cultural gender norms are powerful and imbedded in our history," she said. "This is no way, shape or form to be blamed on women. It's just part of our culture, and it is our job to find ways to change these cultural norms."

Smith and Huntoon wondered if this could be reversed, so they devised a study in which four groups of about 20 mostly freshmen female students at MSU each were asked to write essays for a scholarship based on merit that ranged in value up to $5,000. The subjects were told that the essays would be used as samples to help other students improve their essay skills.

One group was asked to write essays about their own accomplishments; another group was asked to write about the accomplishments of someone else. A group of impartial judges evaluated the essays, awarding an average of $1,500 less to those essays in which people wrote about their own accomplishments rather than about someone else's.

In order to study whether the female modesty effect could be overcome, Smith and Huntoon had another two groups write essays about themselves and introduced a distraction. A black box of about 3x3 feet square was placed in the room where the students wrote the essays. The researchers told one of the groups of subjects that the box was a "subliminal noise generator" that produced ultra-high frequency noise that couldn't be heard, but could cause them discomfort.

"There is no such thing as a subliminal noise generator," Smith said. "It was total fiction. But, we had given them an explanation for any anxiety they felt while writing their essay."

The other control group wasn't told what the box in the room was. The group that had the black box as justification to explain their discomfort wrote essays that were awarded up to $1,000 more than the group that had no explanation. And they enjoyed the experience of writing more, too.

"The key here is that when women had an alternative explanation for why they might be feeling uncomfortable -- the supposed noise generator- the awkwardness they felt from violating the modesty norm by writing about themselves was diverted, and they did just fine," Smith said.

The research has broad practical implications, Smith said.

"Basically, people in authority positions need to put in place practices that make it feel normal for women to promote their accomplishments," she said. "Cultural shifts take time, so while we wait, our results also suggest that people should be proactive and promote the accomplishments of their female friends and colleagues to their bosses. Women were very good at promoting the accomplishments of friends."

Smith said she has already used the results of the study while she talks to search groups and pay equity task forces and others in a position to review applications from women.

"This sheds light on an important issue and brings into question how we look at self-nomination for awards, cover letters for job applications and even pay raises," Smith said.

"I tell them that the woman that you are reading about on paper is likely really more outstanding than she appears."

Story Source:

The above story is based on materials provided by Montana State University. Note: Materials may be edited for content and length.

Journal Reference:

1. J. L. Smith, M. Huntoon. Women's Bragging Rights: Overcoming Modesty Norms to Facilitate Women's Self-Promotion. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 2013; DOI: 10.1177/0361684313515840

Why You Should Bragg. The Benifits and How Too's of Bragging.

Why You Should Bragg
By Patti Wood MA, CSP

Patti is a Body Language Expert and Professional Speaker
My friend Sue and I have known each other since grad school and have always supported each other’s success. She is a wonderful and talented author and beloved English professor and I am a body language expert and professional speaker. Sue arranged for me to speak to the student body of her university.

On the day of my speech, we went over my intro and I showed Sue how to turn on my 40 sec video that had snippets of newscasters and TV show hosts introducing me on their show. Then as students and professors came into the auditorium I introduced myself, “Hello my name is Patti and I am your speaker today." "How are you?" Then I gave my speech. After the speech, Pat and I went out and we had a long talk.

My friend said, “Patti, watching you how you set and introduced your self and talked about your work in your speech changed everything I thought about my career.” She said, “At first I thought, Goodness, Patti is going over the top with all this bragging about herself the intros and introducing herself as the speaker then I noticed how people responded to you even before you started speaking. I have watched 100’s of speakers in that same Venue but they were treating you with a feeling of honor and respect that I have never seen given before."

Sue continued, "l learned something about good self-promotion during your speech too." She said, "As you spoke, you gave brief specific examples of how you used your body language expertise to solve a client’s problems and I saw how it gave you increased level of credibility with the audience. " Each was just a few line story about a challenge and change that was made, but they were memorable. " Sue finished by saying, "But here is the funny thing Patti, I have had the opportunity my entire career to promote myself the way you did and I have never done it because I thought I would be bragging!

I told her she was a remarkable author and speaker and should own it and start self-promoting because men do so all the time! I shared that for years I wanted to be a successful speaker but I never bragged telling myself I was shy. I worked hard, but I was not in the big leagues. Then I looked around and realized that the male speakers would self promote. I know that you may be reading this and thinking, "Patti that's bragging!", but here is why I think it can work for you.

Think about the epistemology of bragging. (That is whether something you say about yourself can be verified or not. ) Can you self How do I know you’re telling the truth when you claim to have achieved some great outcome?

I recommend I said, I try to self- promote only with specific hard evidence. In epistemology, if I do that that it makes it believable. If there is a second of doubt in the listener's mind, if they think you are lying or inflating what you say is perceived negatively and it works against you. My friend Sue quickly started using specific detailed self-promotion techniques. Doing this, and her hard work, led her to earn a tenured position and the raise she had long wanted and deserved.

Research supports the notion that you should brag. Recent experiments conducted by Haifa University researcher Nurit Tal-Or examining the impact of bragging about those close to you (i.e. a family member or a colleague) vs. bragging about yourself suggest that people view people who brag about themselves as more competent than those who brag about others. "Bragging" (with specific and quantifiable examples of how you have achieved success) can actually be good for your career brand.

In fact, a 2011 Catalyst study found that the most powerful tactic for women in advancing their career was to make their achievements known. Calling attention to accomplishments led to more career satisfaction and was actually the only reliable factor associated with bigger raises. As much as we believe, or want to believe, that our achievements speak for themselves, that alone isn’t enough. We have to speak about them too.

— Janet Choi, CCO of iDoneThis

A great short article on the proper way to brag actually shows that bragging to strangers is more acceptable that bragging to friends. (Http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight/201009/the-proper-way-brag)

So help your career and brag a little.

What are Tie Signs and How Can You Read Nonverbal Cues to See How Your Relationship is Going.

What are Tie Signs and How Can You Read Nonverbal Cues to See How Your Relationship is Going. Reading Couple Body Language.

For many years I have been reading the nonverbal cues of celebrity couples to see what is going on in their relationships. One set of cues that you can use to read your relationship are Tie signs.
Tie signs are Nonverbal cues that communicate intimacy and signal the connection between two people. Tie signs can be objects such as wedding rings or tattoos like a I love Sarah heart, that are symbolic of another person or the relationship, actions such as sharing the same drinking glass, or touch behaviors such as hand-holding. My most visited article on this blog and on my website is what playing with a wedding ring means. Guess what, playing with a wedding ring is a low tie sign!

Walid A. Afifi and Michelle L. Johnson, “The Nature and Function of Tie-Signs,” in The Sourcebook of Nonverbal Measures: Going beyond Words, ed. Valerie Manusov (Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum, 2005): 190. Talk about touch behaviors Tie signs. They are what I look at the most frequently as they can communicate much about a relationship based on the area being touched, the length of time, and the intensity of the touch. I often look for mutual touch in couple photos. Kisses and hugs, for example, are considered tie signs, but there are so many kinds of kisses and hugs. a kiss on the cheek is different from a kiss on the mouth and a full embrace is different from a half embrace. (Look at my blog posts on Hugs and their definition and what different Kisses mean.)
If you consider yourself a “people watcher,” start noticing the various tie signs you see couples people use and what they might say about the relationship.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert

Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog

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Why 'I'm So Happy I Could Cry Makes Sense

Research on How Cell Phone Use Effects Happiness, Anxiety and GPA

Research Study Shows Women Don’t Like to Brag about Themselves, It Makes Them Feel Anxious

Why You Should Bragg. The Benifits and How Too's of Bragging.

What are Tie Signs and How Can You Read Nonverbal Cues to See How Your Relationship is Going.

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