Can Your Body Language Win You The Job?

Can Your Body Language Win You The Job?

I made several body language recommendations for this article on interviewing for a job. My comments are below highlighted in yellow.


Can Your Body Language Win You The Job?
Elizabeth Garone

About the author

Elizabeth is a freelance writer in California and a former Career Q&A columnist for the Wall Street Journal.

Related

Samuel Amegavisa is getting nervous. In his last year of human biology studies at the University of Cape Coast in Ghana, it’s time to start thinking about job interviews.

Everyone knows it’s important to dress smartly for an interview. Less obvious is the importance of how you carry yourself.

“My situation is quite simple. I have never been interviewed before,” wrote 23-year-old Amegavisa in an email to BBC Capital. He had a basic question — one most of us probably don’t think much about. “Is there any recommended sitting position before and during your interview?”

While everyone knows it’s important to dress smartly for an interview, less obvious — and less known— is the importance of how you carry yourself. What hidden cues do you give when you walk through the doorway, shake hands or sit?

Three body language experts share their insights on what moves to make, and avoid, in an interview.

Happy medium

The first contact between an interviewer and interviewee is almost always a handshake. First impressions often determine how the rest of the interview goes, so this can be one of the most important elements of getting it right, according to David Alssema, a body language expert and training facilitator with Paramount Training & Development in Perth, Australia.

“Rapport is built by similarities,” so shake hands the way the interviewer does, recommended Alssema in an email. “Matching the strength or greeting shows you want to be an equal. Overpowering a handshake can signal a dominant attitude towards the meeting.”

Zones of space

No matter our culture, we all have and are at least subconsciously aware of four zones of space around us. They are (from farthest to closest): Public, social, personal and intimate. It’s important to be keenly attuned to these during an interview, according to Nick Morgan, Boston-based speech coach and author of Power Cues: The Subtle Science of Leading Groups, Persuading Others, and Maximizing Your Personal Impact. “The only significant things that happen between people happen in personal and intimate space,” he wrote in an email. “Since intimate space is off limits [in an interview], you want to get into the personal space of the interviewer,” if you want the person to be inclined to decide in your favour.

Make your move

While the handshake brings us into the personal space that we want — it’s why we do it, according to Morgan — typical seating arrangements in an interview tend to move us away. “That makes it easier for the interviewer to pass on us — but harder for us to make an impression,” he said. “So look for ways to tactfully move into the personal space of the interviewer.” For example, you might move your chair slightly or sit on the same side of a round table.

Once you’re seated, consider other ways to close the distance. Lean forward, for example, just not too much. “Try to do this tactfully and subtly, not rapidly or awkwardly,” cautioned Morgan. It’s worth the effort.

“We increase trust and connection with people when we close the distance between us, even by small amounts,” he said.

Please click the arrow above to see how to improve confidence with certain postures.

Open for business

It’s very important to keep your body language “open,” according to Morgan. You’re likely to be nervous and you might find yourself unconsciously clutching your hands in front of you or folding your arms. “These feel safe and comfortable, but also distancing and disconnecting for the other party,” he said. In addition, “[folding your arms] shows that you are disinterested, and it also prevents you from leaning,” said Alssema.

The eyes have it

“Eye contact is important, and any less or any more than a reasonable amount may indicate other attitudes,” said Alssema. What’s just right? That might be hard to tell in some situations, but Alssema suggests mirroring the amount of time the interviewer gives you eye contact. If there is a panel of interviewers, it’s important to provide the right mix of time for each person. “Respond to each person individually with eye contact when answering questions,” he said. “Glancing around is a signal for boredom, so avoid it if possible.”

People often make the mistake of equating good eye contact with never looking away — but this would be a mistake, too, according to Atlanta, Georgia-based Patti Wood, a body language expert and author of SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma.

“It is normal to look away from time to time as you speak, because you’re accessing information in your brain,” she wrote in an email. Just don’t let yourself drift off when the interviewer is speaking. “After giving an answer, remember to make eye contact and listen to the interviewer. Eye contact sends the message that you are serious and engaged,” Wood said.

Don’t forget to breathe — deeply

The moment people get nervous, the more quickly they start breathing. That can wreak havoc in an interview.

“When you take quick shallow breaths, you reduce your ability to think clearly,” said Wood. “This may keep you from answering questions quickly and succinctly.”

Instead, try to breathe deeply from low down in your belly. “[It is] one key to feeling clearheaded, energised, and confident,” she said. “Practice breathing more slowly, using your diaphragm, belly, rib cage and lower back in the process.” Of course, this isn’t something you’ll want to do in your actual interview. “But try it whenever you get anxious and certainly before your interview,” she said. 

Career Coach is a twice-monthly column on BBC Capital in which we consider the career turning points and questions many professionals face. We welcome questions from readers at careercoach@bbc.com.

To comment on this story or anything else you have seen on BBC Capital, head over to our Facebook page or message us on Twitter.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language and Deception Read of Brian Williams Iraq War Story on David Letterman.

Body Language and Deception Read of Brian Williams’

Iraq War Story on David Letterman

Brian Williams Makes Mistakes in His Apology Statement

By Body Language Expert Patti Wood

What are the “tells” that Brian Williams’ lies in part of his Iraq War Story. I detail how to read his deception then I tell you what he did wrong in his apology statement.  There is also a link below to the article I did for the IBT Pulse on the story. If you want to look at the video, as I analyze it, here is the link to the video of Brian Williams’ Iraq War Story on David Letterman.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwtxVjNVDBU 

First Williams says, “Two of the helicopters were hit including the one I was in.” This is very odd phrasing. He is stating what happened to his chopper last. If you were describing say, a car accident you would not say, “Two of the cars were in the accident, including the car I was in.” Typically, if you experienced a terrifying accident you would recall it in your limbic brain and the focus in the first part of the sentence would be on you. You would lead with what happened to you. If you are lying you are more likely to lead with the truth and hide the lie at the end of the sentence. I will say that this is a war story and sometimes war storytellers remove themselves from the first place in the story and Brian is a journalist and he is trained to remove himself from the story. Yet having stated those exceptions to sharing an incident like this, it is still really odd.

Now notice his body language as he speaks, “Two of the helicopters were hit including the one I was in.” His body stays very still, his outside hand is in a guarded wall position on the outside of his leg, his left leg is folded over his right away from Letterman and his left arm is out around the back of the chair and his hand is loosely gripping the chair arm.  He is guarding himself a bit. Perhaps not unusual if you are going to tell a story of a scare event, but this guarding is juxtaposed with him having a very expanded upper chest. That is a braggart’s position. So he is showing a mixture of the braggart and guarded positions.
His body stays very still. With the caveats stated above, I know that some “warriors” want to remain distant and or cavalier about their story.  It still seems odd that he is describing being hit without his body coming downwards or going backwards as he remembers the sensation of being hit. His head does come down on the word “hit” but the head is under more conscious control and that means he could purposefully, as a broadcaster, easily emphasize that word with his head.
What I would have liked to have seen is more subconscious body movement. I know time has passed since the event, and he was not injured, but typically I should see a hint of that movement as he “recalls” the incident. Instead he is planted. This does not mean he is lying. It is merely curious and interesting.
The vocal emphasis on hit actually matches Brian Williams’ natural vocal emphasis as he tells a news story. He typically, in his baseline of normal news storytelling, hits the verb or power word.

Body Language and Deception Analysis of Brain Williams’

Apology Statement Letterman

Apology Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33RSg9CBtUY

Williams certainly wanted to get through the apology as quickly as possible. Perhaps, because this time, he was hit by real “ground fire’ criticism from the public and the media. Time is a nonverbal communicator. Rushing through the apology shows his desire to distance himself from his guilt and get on with things rather than sincere remorse.
"I said I was in the aircraft that was hit… I was instead…” Newscasters often use the words, “rather” and “instead” when they have made a word or phrasing blunder in their news story. This was more than a misspoken word. This was a lie. If an actor had lied we would think, bad boy. This is however a news correspondent whose words we rely on for the truth of what is going on in the world.
He then goes on to give the “excuse” that the story was, “a bungled attempt to thank one special veteran…” I watched him tell the story on Letterman 6 times, and it was not a story of thanks to one special veteran. A content analysis of it instead categorizes it as a comic, “I had a bad night in Vegas” variety story. He does mention that one soldier was hit in the ear when he told the story on Letterman and he touches his ear after he says that showing he distances himself from that soldier and his injury and did not feel the pain that soldier had in that moment. Yes, he is a journalist and he is trained to distance himself, but if someone was being projected as the hero of the story it was him. Watch as he tells it how Letterman leans forward and goes, “Wow.”
As he says, “I hope they know they have my greatest respect and also now my apology” watch how his head goes down and his eyes close and his voice goes unusually soft and faint as he says the word, “apology.” I would like to say this is normal shamed behavior. But, I will say, it shows embarrassment. I would have liked to have seen him look in the camera and say, “I messed up and I am truly sorry.” He should have said, “What I did was to claim pain and hardship that was not mine to claim.”  Instead his pride overrides what should have been true humbleness. Brian Williams rushes through the content with body language that does not show he is truly contrite.

The link to the ibtimes article I did http://www.ibtimes.com/pulse/did-brian-williams-lie-about-iraq-war-body-language-expert-weighs-his-helicopter-1808334  

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language and Deception Analysis of Brian Williams Apology Statement. Letterman.

Body Language and Deception Analysis of Brain Williams’

Apology Statement Letterman

Apology Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33RSg9CBtUY

Williams certainly wanted to get through the apology as quickly as possible. Perhaps, because this time, he was hit by real “ground fire’ criticism from the public and the media. Time is a nonverbal communicator. Rushing through the apology shows his desire to distance himself from his guilt and get on with things rather than sincere remorse.
"I said I was in the aircraft that was hit… I was instead…” Newscasters often use the words, “rather” and “instead” when they have made a word or phrasing blunder in their news story. This was more than a misspoken word. This was a lie. If an actor had lied we would think, bad boy. This is however a news correspondent whose words we rely on for the truth of what is going on in the world.
He then goes on to give the “excuse” that the story was, “a bungled attempt to thank one special veteran…” I watched him tell the story on Letterman 6 times, and it was not a story of thanks to one special veteran. A content analysis of it instead categorizes it as a comic, “I had a bad night in Vegas” variety story. He does mention that one soldier was hit in the ear when he told the story on Letterman and he touches his ear after he says that showing he distances himself from that soldier and his injury and did not feel the pain that soldier had in that moment. Yes, he is a journalist and he is trained to distance himself, but if someone was being projected as the hero of the story it was him. Watch as he tells it how Letterman leans forward and goes, “Wow.”
As he says, “I hope they know they have my greatest respect and also now my apology” watch how his head goes down and his eyes close and his voice goes unusually soft and faint as he says the word, “apology.” I would like to say this is normal shamed behavior. But, I will say, it shows embarrassment. I would have liked to have seen him look in the camera and say, “I messed up and I am truly sorry.” He should have said, “What I did was to claim pain and hardship that was not mine to claim.”  Instead his pride overrides what should have been true humbleness. Brian Williams rushes through the content with body language that does not show he is truly contrite.

The link to the ibtimes article I did http://www.ibtimes.com/pulse/did-brian-williams-lie-about-iraq-war-body-language-expert-weighs-his-helicopter-1808334  

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Three Rules of Etiquette for Using Technology, Email and Cell Phone Etiquette

Three Rules of Etiquette for Using Technology,

 Email and Cell Phones

In my book SNAP I have a chapter on Tech Impressions. Here are two excerpts from the book and one from my workshop of First Impressions.

Cell Phones and Texting Etiquette

When it comes to cell phones and texting, you have to think about the impression you are making on those around you, in your physical presence, not just those with whom you are communicating.

Guideline #1:  In public places, keep your cell phone calls brief and at a low volume and your content censored at a G for general public rating.

Be polite because there is a strange nonverbal phenomenon that occurs when we are connected via phone or electronic device, we feel such an intimate connection to the person we are directly communicating with we give out nonverbal cues that we would normally reserve for one-on-one intimate space conversations. In addition we tune out to our true environmental sensors for our behavior.  We no longer see or hear or acknowledge the people in our physical space so we don’t follow the rules of etiquette for public communication.

A college professor reported receiving the following email from a student before the term began. Mind you, this was a student he had never met. The email read: “What textbooks do u require for class?” That was the extent of it. There was no salutation, no name and not even a reference to which class the student was taking. Worst of all, was the use of “textspeak” to an English Professor.

Guideline #2:  Your first email to someone should be formal as if you were writing a letter. Use the salutation “Dear.” You might write, “Dear Mr. Livingston:” or “Dear Alex Livingston:” (especially if you don’t know the person’s gender) and then skip a line and begin your message. When your message is complete, write “Sincerely, and then your name.” One you have established contact with a person through email, and then you may switch to a less formal tone. You should still use a greeting of some sort unless the email has turned into a back and forth conversation. Even then, I try to use the person’s name in the message. It creates a more personal touch.

Guideline #3:  Put away your phone. You are being rude if you don’t turn off technology or put it away before talking or you focus on technology when people are with you in person.  Jim carries his phone with him everywhere, it’s in his right hand where he can glance at it often and you see him walking down the halls on the phone. Your computer, pad or smart phones are just one place you should be working. Just a few years ago, employees looked important, busy and hardworking if they brought their phone with them everywhere and were checking it constantly. That image has changed. Now you just look like you’re rude, that your time and your needs are more important than the person or people you are with. Yes even you. Yes, I know you are an extremely busy person getting hundreds of texts and or emails you must respond to. Think of your device as your three year old child. Ask yourself when you are with a work contact, would I have my three year old with me during this conversation at work. If the answer is no, don’t bring the device or put it away. Challenge yourself to change your behavior in three important ways:

1.    Remember the person in front of you is always more important than anything on your device. They are the real live person.

2.    If you can don’t take your technology with you or keep it off and completely out of site. Don’t put it on the desk between you and the other person.

3.    A new cell phone ritual when you get to the meeting if you have a device that is visible make it a ritual to pick it up set it not to make a noise and put it out of your line of site. I would even recommend, if you are meeting with one to three people and you want to let them know why you are doing that and or want them to do the same then  you say out loud something like, “I am putting this away so I can focus on you.” Or “Let me turn this off and put this away while we talk.” Or “I want to focus on our conversation or this important meeting.”

4.    Don’t pull out the phone to check your messages at the end of the meeting if the people you are meeting with are still in the room. Say goodbye, get out of their visual and auditory field then check your messages.

I also have some napkin rules because I have people ask me what the rules are every time I am at a banquet or formal event. It makes people uncomfortable if they don’t know the rules.
Think of the napkin being unfolded by the host like the curtain going up in a theater. The meal begins when the host unfolds his or her napkin. This is your signal to do the same. Place your napkin on your lap, completely unfolded. Typically, you want to put your napkin on your lap soon after sitting down at the table (but follow your host's lead).
If there is not a host just a group of friends, think of the napkin being unfolded and put across your lap as the signal of the meal and conversation beginning. So the putting your napkin on your lap is like pushing the play button on a YouTube video it starts the meal and the full flow of conversation. Just like you leave your sheets on your bed while you’re sleeping the napkin remains on your lap throughout the entire meal and if you get up from the table during the meal, place your napkin on your chair.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Morning Routines of Successful Women

I give workshops on leadership including a Women in Leadership Course at the Wharton School of Business and I recommend a few morning rituals to help you be successful and to balance your life

Here are six morning rituals of a successful person.

1.      Post a positive photograph on your mirror and on your computer home page and phone  that makes you happy and inspires you to your greatest goals.  It can be a photo of you playing with your children to inspire you to have work/life balance, a photo of an audience applauding when you are working on a speech, a mock up book cover of the book you are working on to inspire you to write.

2.     Another morning ritual to help you be successful is to clear your mind of clutter. When you first wake up in the morning, take five minutes to write down anything that is muddying up your head. Write in a stream of consciousness any thoughts or feelings that are clogging your brain. This is not a journal or a "to do" list. It's junk. Dump thoughts out on the page the way you dump out the trash. Now your mind is clear and you can accomplish much more in your day. Julia Cameron calls the pages, morning pages and describes the benefits in her book, “The Artists Way.”

3.      Brush and learn. Buy an automatic toothbrush with a timer (most are two minutes) and while you are brushing your teeth, read poetry, motivating quotes and affirmations and other positive messages that you've taped to the bathroom mirror

4.      Ask yourself in the morning - Are you doing what is most important or are you doing what is easy or urgent? To make sure follow these steps: Set a timer on your phone to go off every hour. When it goes off, ask yourself, "Am I doing what is most important?", "Am I doing something that is making me a better person?", "Am I doing something that is making money or is furthering my career?" Do this every day for a week and you will see a pattern of what you are spending most of your time on.

5.      Read your e-mails in priority order. Our tendency is to read and respond to our e-mails from most recently sent down. You may waste time on something that is not urgent. Get into the habit of quickly scanning all your new e-mails for anything that may be urgent and important and respond to those first. Let others know that it helps to be clear about urgency and importance in the subject line of the e-mails they send you.

6.      You can do anything for fifteen minutes.  If you are procrastinating on a task set a timer/alarm on your phone for fifteen minutes. Do the task until the buzzer sounds. Typically starting an unpleasant or difficult task is the hardest part of the task. Once you start something, the momentum can keep you going. If it doesn't get you going, set the timer again tomorrow. So if you need to exercise, meditate, clean, work on a writing project, play with your kids, set an alarm and do it.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.