Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog

Research on Mate Selection Shows That Settling for 'Mr. Right Now' is better than waiting for 'Mr. Right.'

Research on Mate Selection Shows
That Settling for 'Mr. Right Now'
is better than waiting for 'Mr. Right.'

And that if we were raised in small communities we are more risk averse and more likely to settle and find a mate. This makes sense to me. It indicates that if there are more possible mates when we are growing up we think there are more fish in the sea and it's harder for us to find someone we want to mate with for life. Though it talks about how we grew up and I also think it explains why people searching for a mate on dating sites like Match.com have a hard time meeting someone they want to settle down with. The possibilities make them less risk adverse.

Here is the research from Science Daily News. I have yellow highlighted the interesting sections.

Date: February 6, 2015

Source: Michigan State University

Summary:

Evolutionary researchers have determined that settling for 'Mr. Okay' is a better evolutionary strategy than waiting for 'Mr. Perfect.' When studying the evolution of risk aversion using a computational model of digital organisms, researchers found that it is in our nature -- traced back to the earliest humans -- to take the safe bet when stakes are high, such as whether or not we will mate.

How risk averse we are correlates to the size of the group in which we were raised. If reared in a small group -- fewer than 150 people -- we tend to be much more risk averse than those who were part of a larger community.

It turns out that primitive humans lived in smaller groups, about 150 individuals. Because resources tend to be more scarce in smaller communities, this environment helps promote risk aversion.

When studying the evolution of risk aversion, Michigan State University researchers found that it is in our nature -- traced back to the earliest humans -- to take the safe bet when stakes are high, such as whether or not we will mate.

Credit: © michaeljung / Fotolia

"Primitive humans were likely forced to bet on whether or not they could find a better mate," said Chris Adami, MSU professor of microbiology and molecular genetics and co-author of the paper.

"They could either choose to mate with the first, potentially inferior, companion and risk inferior offspring, or they could wait for Mr. or Ms. Perfect to come around," he said. "If they chose to wait, they risk never mating."

Adami and his co-author Arend Hintze, MSU research associate, used a computational model to trace risk-taking behaviors through thousands of generations of evolution with digital organisms. These organisms were programmed to make bets in high-payoff gambles, which reflect the life-altering decisions that natural organisms must make, as for example choosing a mate.

"An individual might hold out to find the perfect mate but run the risk of coming up empty and leaving no progeny," Adami said. "Settling early for the sure bet gives you an evolutionary advantage, if living in a small group."

Adami and his team tested many variables that influence risk-taking behavior and concluded that certain conditions influence our decision-making process. The decision must be a rare, once-in-a-lifetime event and also have a high payoff for the individual's future -- such as the odds of producing offspring.

It turns out that primitive humans lived in smaller groups, about 150 individuals. Because resources tend to be more scarce in smaller communities, this environment helps promote risk aversion.

"We found that it is really the group size, not the total population size, which matters in the evolution of risk aversion," Hintze said.

However, not everyone develops the same level of aversion to risk. The study also found that evolution doesn't prefer one single, optimal way of dealing with risk, but instead allows for a range of less, and sometimes more-risky, behaviors to evolve.

"We do not all evolve to be the same," Adami said. "Evolution creates a diversity in our acceptance of risk, so you see some people who are more likely to take bigger risks than others. We see the same phenomenon in our simulations."

Story Source:

The above story is based on materials provided by Michigan State University. Note: Materials may be edited for content and length.

Journal Reference:

1. Arend Hintze, Randal S. Olson, Christoph Adami, Ralph Hertwig. Risk sensitivity as an evolutionary adaptation. Scientific Reports, 2015; 5: 8242 DOI:10.1038/srep08242

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Michigan State University. "Settling for 'Mr. Right Now' better than waiting for 'Mr. Right', shows model of digital organisms." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 6 February 2015. .

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Tips for Reducing Your Social Anxiety and Improving Your First Impression at Parties and Networking Events

I do research, write and consult on body language and first impressions. It is very interesting to me that after many years as a speaker I now have clients that share with me that their employees and or professional association members are fearful of networking. They feel they don’t have the skills to introduce themselves or make small talk and some don’t even value networking.

If you are wondering how to make small talk and network you can hire me as your coach or bring me to your business or association. Our office number is 404-315-7397.

Here are a few tips from my book SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma on how to network.

Tips for Reducing Your Social Anxiety and Improving Your First Impression at Parties and Networking Events

By Patti Wood MA, CSP and Body Language Expert

Some of you may think of social and networkingand mingling opportunities and jump for joy and some of you may think of punch and cookies and meeting strangers and feel your palms begin to sweat and your throat start to close. Here are fun and helpful tips for feeling more comfortable at your next party so you can change from a wallflower to a “social butterfly.”

1. Look for an Open Person. You have learned in an earlier chapter how to make yourself approachable by having open body language. You can use that information to look for people who you can easily approach. Search for people who are intently speaking to someone already. Spy the people who have their feet slightly apart a few inches rather than crossed, pressed together, or cowboy show of defensive stance 14 inches apart. It is easier to approach someone who is showing his or her palms as they gesture and is smiling. If you are super shy, you can just go up and stand next to someone who looks open and slowly mirror his posture. Research says he is likely to start a conversation with you.

2. Go first….you can also introduce yourself. I know I know, you’re thinking, "Patti you are insane.” I hate to talk to people and you want me to initiate a conversation!” “I’d rather stick a fork in my eye.” Put down the fork. Research shows that when you initiate you appear more confident to other people and they immediately feel more at ease. In addition, when they feel at ease, the comfort transfers to you. Remember, two awkward people equal three times the anxiety.

3. Introduce people to each other. Again, you have something to do, and goodness it takes the pressure off you. You now say the younger person’s name first to introduce them to the older person, say the lower status person’s name first to introduce them to the higher status person. Think bigwig’s name is said last.

4. Ask a question and then relax and listen. When I was in grad school and teaching at Florida State I tried out for and got a part in a community program. I almost lost my voice and I learned a lot about listening. So much anxiety comes from not knowing what to do or how to do it well. I can tell you that the smartest thing you can do at a party is ask a gentle question. It completely takes the talking pressure off you. You don’t have to be witty and urbane to be good listeners. And if “The Seven Habits of highly successful people” is right, everybody loves a good listener. If asking questions seems to be as difficult for you as defusing and atomic bomb, click to my book “Going UP!” The book gives pages of questions you can use to start a conversation.

5. Nod your head. I give simple listening body language cues in my linked article. Here is one of my favorites to teach men. Nod your head. Women love it. Men typically only nod their heads when they agree, woman nod to show they are listening. Guys, if you nod your head a lot she will love you. Beware of nodding your head at your female boss at the office. Power people love it when you nod your head too, but your boss might think you love them so much you are willing for them to nominate you for the office, “recycling waste committee for 2009.”

Research Shows We Learn More Using All Our Senses. Movement, Gesturing and Seeing Images Increase learning of Vocabulary Words

Research Shows We Learn More Using All Our Senses. Movement, Gesturing and Seeing Images Increase learning of Vocabulary Words

I have been teaching using the principles of Optimum Learning Theory my entire career. Optimum Learning Theory says if you use all your senses while learning you learn more quickly and retain the information. That is why in all my programs on body language I have the audience move, get up out their chairs and practice the techniques of good body language. Recent research shows that when learners gesture new vocabulary words they could remember it better.
Here is that finding in the research.

In the second experiment, they symbolically drew the corresponding word in the air or expressed it with a gesture. The researchers then checked whether the participants could still recall the term at different times after the learning period. "The subjects' recollection was best in relation to terms they themselves had expressed using gestures. When they heard the term and its translation and also observed a corresponding image, they were also better able to remember the translation.

Here is the entire research study findings.

February 5, 2015

Max-Planck-Gesellschaft

"Atesi" -- what sounds like a word from the Elven language of Lord of the Rings is actually a Vimmish word meaning "thought". Scientists have used Vimmish, an artificial language specifically developed for scientific research, to study how people can best memorize foreign-language terms. According to the researchers, it is easier to learn vocabulary if the brain can link a given word with different sensory perceptions.

Pictures facilitate learning: our brain remembers the words.

Credit: MPI f. Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences/ v. Kriegstein

"Atesi" -- what sounds like a word from the Elven language of Lord of the Rings is actually a Vimmish word meaning "thought." Scientists from the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences in Leipzig have used Vimmish, an artificial language specifically developed for scientific research, to study how people can best memorize foreign-language terms. According to the researchers, it is easier to learn vocabulary if the brain can link a given word with different sensory perceptions. The motor system in the brain appears to be especially important: When someone not only hears vocabulary in a foreign language, but expresses it using gestures, they will be more likely to remember it. Also helpful, although to a slightly lesser extent, is learning with images that correspond to the word. Learning methods that involve several senses, and in particular those that use gestures, are therefore superior to those based only on listening or reading. For most students, the very thought of learning new vocabulary evokes a groan. Rote learning of long lists of words must surely be one of the most unpopular types of schoolwork. That said, many schools and language courses have now understood that learning outcomes improve if vocabulary, for example, is presented not just as a word, but also as an image. The multisensory learning theory states that the brain learns more easily when several senses are stimulated in parallel.

The results obtained by the Leipzig-based researchers confirm this. For their study the scientists used Vimmish, an artificial language they developed themselves, which follows similar phonetic rules to Italian. This ensured that the vocabulary was equally new to all participants. Over the course of a week, young women and men were to memorize the meaning of abstract and concrete Vimmi-nouns under different conditions. In the first experiment, the subjects heard the word and then observed a corresponding image or a gesture. In the second experiment, they symbolically drew the corresponding word in the air or expressed it with a gesture. The researchers then checked whether the participants could still recall the term at different times after the learning period.

"The subjects' recollection was best in relation to terms they themselves had expressed using gestures. When they heard the term and its translation and also observed a corresponding image, they were also better able to remember the translation. By contrast, however, tracing a term or observing a gesture was no better than just hearing the term," explains Katja Mayer of the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences. The way a term was learned was even reflected in the subjects' brain activity. In this way, areas of the brain responsible for the motor system were active when a subject translated a term previously learned through gesture, while areas of the visual system were active in the case of words learned with the help of images.

This suggests that the brain learns foreign words more easily when they are associated with information from different sensory organs. It may be that these associations are mutually reinforcing, imprinting the source-language term and its translation more deeply in the mind. "If for example we follow a new term with a gesture, we create additional input that facilitates the brain's learning," says Katharina von Kriegstein, head of the study at the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences. The scientists now want to discover whether the activity in the motor and visual centres is actually the cause of the improved learning outcomes. They plan to do this by activating the neurons in these regions using electrodes and measuring the impact on learning outcomes.

It is not only in learning vocabulary that the multisensory principle applies; other studies have shown that multisensory input also facilitates word recognition in the subject's own language. "If we're on the phone with someone we know, for example, the areas of the brain responsible for facial recognition are active during the phone call. It seems that the brain simulates the information not being captured by the eyes and creates it for itself," explains von Kriegstein.

Thus, we learn with all our senses. Taste and smell also have a role in learning, and feelings play an important part too. But does multisensory learning work according to the principle: the more senses, the better? "That could well be so," says von Kriegstein, "but we don't know how much the learning outcomes improve with the addition of more senses. Ideally, however, the individual sensory impressions should match one another. In other words, to learn the Spanish word for apple, the subject should make an apple gesture, taste an apple or look at a picture of an apple."

Story Source:

The above story is based on materials provided by Max-Planck-Gesellschaft. Note: Materials may be edited for content and length.

Journal Reference:

1. Katja M. Mayer, Izzet B. Yildiz, Manuela Macedonia, Katharina von Kriegstein.Visual and motor cortices differentially support the translation of foreign language words. Current Biology, 5 February 2015

Max-Planck-Gesellschaft. "Learning with all the senses: Movement, images facilitate vocabulary learning." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 5 February 2015. .

Tips on Brushing Your Teeth by Patti Wood, Body Language Expert

Tips on Brushing Your Teeth

I was asked by someone in the media today to share tips on brushing your teeth.

Below are a few tips I learned as a body language expert and former spokesperson for a Dental product line the Natural Dentist where I did research on the relationship between your smile and your DISC Personality. I also found out a tremendous amount about teeth as the sister of a former dental hygienist and Endodontist.

What's the best method to brush your teeth- up and down, in circles or back and forth?

You want to brush up and down, back and forth can erode the enamel.

What kind of toothpaste should you use?

You want to use the right toothpaste for your teeth and your gums so get your dentist to recommend if you need special toothpaste like tarter control or you can do more harm than good.

Should you brush without tooth paste?

Brush once a day without toothpaste too as it actually gives a different kind of cleaning.

What is the best toothbrush to use?

Automatic toothbrushes are great to use for the full two minutes.

How often should you brush your teeth?

Twice a day brushing is typically enough.

What if I can't brush my teeth after I eat?

If you can’t brush your teeth because you’re out and about one of the most effective fall backs is to swish water around in your mouth, very powerfully. Then brush your teeth when you get home.

What are some items that damage teeth and what can you do to avoid damage?

Liquid damages your teeth too if not brushed away, so brush or swish water after coffee, juice and other beverages and any sweets like candy.

Links to Smile articles by Patti:

http://www.bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com/search/label/smile.%20Up%20Body%20Language

http://www.bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com/search/label/smiles

Does Stress Effect Women and Men Differently? Yes! Research Show that Stress Undermines Emphatic Abilities in Men But Increases Them in Women. Men Respond to Stress Differently Than Women.

Does Stress Effect Women and Men Differently? Yes! Research Show that Stress Undermines Emphatic Abilities in Men But Increases Them in Women. Men Respond to Stress Differently Than Women.

A former sweetie pie of mine was stressed. He had made the decision to leave a secure job and take a new one that required much more responsibility. I understood his level of stress, I am a very supportive partner in relationships, perhaps too supportive but, man, it was tough to deal with him. He could only focus talk about and be crazy about this job change 24 hours a day. He became a whirling dervish, easily exploding in anger at everyone from waiters, pizza guy to anyone else in his path and my thoughts, feelings and needs disappeared completely. There are stressful times in all relationships, but if you have ever wondered why men may focus more on themselves when under stress than women do under stress read this article.

Stress Undermines Emphatic Abilities in Men

but Increases Them in Women

March 17, 2014

Sissa Medialab

Stressed males tend to become more self-centered and less able to distinguish their own emotions and intentions from those of other people. For women the exact opposite is true. Stress, this problem that haunts us every day, could be undermining not only our health but also our relationships with other people, especially for men. Stressed women, however, become more “prosocial” according to new research.

Related Articles

These are the main findings of a study carried out with the collaboration of Giorgia Silani, from the International School for Advanced Studies (SISSA) of Trieste. The study was coordinated by the Social Cognitive Neuroscience Unit of the University of Vienna and saw the participation of the University of Freiburg. This is the main finding of a study just published in Psychoneuroendocrinology, carried out with the collaboration of SISSA in Trieste.

"There's a subtle boundary between the ability to identify with others and take on their perspective -- and therefore be empathic -- and the inability to distinguish between self and other, thus acting egocentrically" explains Silani. "To be truly empathic and behave prosocially it's important to maintain the ability to distinguish between self and other, and stress appears to play an important role in this."

Stress is a psycho-biological mechanism that may have a positive function: it enables the individual to recruit additional resources when faced with a particularly demanding situation. The individual can cope with stress in one of two ways: by trying to reduce the internal load of "extra" resources being used, or, more simply, by seeking external support. "Our starting hypothesis was that stressed individuals tend to become more egocentric. Taking a self-centred perspective in fact reduces the emotional/cognitive load. We therefore expected that in the experimental conditions people would be less empathic" explains Claus Lamm, from the University of Vienna and one of the authors of the paper.

The surprise was that our starting hypothesis was indeed true, but only for males. In the experiments, conditions of moderate stress were created in the laboratory (for example, the subjects had to perform public speaking or mental arithmetic tasks, etc.). The participants then had to imitate certain movements (motor condition), or recognise their own or other people's emotions (emotional condition), or make a judgement taking on another person's perspective (cognitive condition). Half of the study sample were men, the other half were women.

"What we observed was that stress worsens the performance of men in all three types of tasks. The opposite is true for women" explains Silani.

Why this happens is not yet clear. "Explanations might be sought at several levels," concludes Silani. "At a psychosocial level, women may have internalized the experience that they receive more external support when they are able to interact better with others. This means that the more they need help -- and are thus stressed -- the more they apply social strategies. At a physiological level, the gender difference might be accounted for by the oxytocin system. Oxytocin is a hormone connected with social behaviors and a previous study found that in conditions of stress women had higher physiological levels of oxytocin than men."

Story Source:

The above story is based on materials provided by Sissa Medialab. Note: Materials may be edited for content and length.

Journal Reference:

1. L. Tomova, B. von Dawans, M. Heinrichs, G. Silani, C. Lamm. Is stress affecting our ability to tune into others? Evidence for gender differences in the effects of stress on self-other distinction. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 2014; 43: 95 DOI:10.1016/j.psyneuen.2014.02.006

Cite This Page:

Sissa Medialab. "Stress undermines empathic abilities in men but increases them in women." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 17 March 2014. 095927.htm>.

Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog

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Research on Mate Selection Shows That Settling for 'Mr. Right Now' is better than waiting for 'Mr. Right.'

Tips for Reducing Your Social Anxiety and Improving Your First Impression at Parties and Networking Events

Research Shows We Learn More Using All Our Senses. Movement, Gesturing and Seeing Images Increase learning of Vocabulary Words

Tips on Brushing Your Teeth by Patti Wood, Body Language Expert

Tips on Brushing Your Teeth

Does Stress Effect Women and Men Differently? Yes! Research Show that Stress Undermines Emphatic Abilities in Men But Increases Them in Women. Men Respond to Stress Differently Than Women.

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