Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog

Body Language Read of Nick Gordon during the Dr. Phil Interview

Body Language Read of Nick Gordon during the Dr. Phil Interview by Patti Wood, Body Language Expert for Radar Online

Nick Gordon is clearly an emotional wreck in the highly-publicized promotional trailer for his upcoming interview with Dr. Phil McGraw. But although the boyfriend of Bobbi Kristina Brown has faced scrutiny in recent weeks regarding his behavior in the wake of the incident that left her comatose, body language expert Patti Wood tells RadarOnline.comexclusively, “Nick Gordon is not faking any of this. He is in horrific pain.”

When Gordon sat down for the interview, which will air on The Dr. Phil Show on Wednesday, March 11, it turned out to be more of an intervention and, as a result, Gordon has checked himself into rehab.

But his emotional breakdown, according to Wood, was not for show.

“I can just tell you that Nick Gordon is in his limbic primitive brain, which is the part of the brain that is responsible for adrenaline flow, emotion and behavior,” says Wood, who is the author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma.

As Radar previously reported, Gordon’s behavior has raised concerns in recent weeks. He posted a desperate tweet on Tuesday that read “I’m so hurt I wanna do myself in.” And he’s been trapped in a long battle with Bobbi Kristina’s father, Bobby Brown, over not being able to visit the hospital bedside where his 22-year-old girlfriend is in a medically induced coma. In addition, he is facing the pressure of an ongoing criminal investigation regarding the near-drowning of the woman who called herself his wife.

Wood, who has not treated Gordon, tells Radar, “He is in a truly charged emotional state and, judging from his paralanguage [vocal and physical cues], his pain is authentic and real.”

Watch the video on RadarOnline.com:

http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2015/03/not-faking-it-nick-gordons-pain-is-real-authentic-during-dr-phil-interview-says-body-language-expert/

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Speaks Volumes - Non-Verbal Ways You Might Be Inadvertently Dissing Your Boss

Patti was interviewed by the Toronto Sun on how your body language could be speaking volumes and non-verbal ways you might be inadvertently dissing your boss. Below is the article and the link where it appeared in the Toronto Sun.
http://save.sunmedia.ca/Save/classic/doc?docid=289505890&q=%22joanne%20richard%22%20AND%20date(last%2014%20days)&stem=false&spaceop=AND&ttype=xsl&tval=headline_sun&pos=0&hn=1&pubAbbrev=sunmedia&dtokey=loljgcszh#anchor289505890

The Toronto Sun Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Body language speaks volumes

Non-verbal ways you might be inadvertently dissing your boss

JOANNE RICHARD

Special to QMI Agency

Your constant tweeting and texting speaks louder than words!

So does your lateness, silence and poor posture. These are just a few of the

ways you’re telling your boss that you don’t want to be there, says Patti Wood, of

pattiwood.net.

What you do — and don’t do — at work speak volumes about you. And some behaviours

are even dangerous to your job security — they’re firing-worthy, says Wood, an

internationally recognized non-verbal communication and human behaviour

expert.

Even if you are unaware of it or it’s unintentional, your body language speaks volumes

about you. It can lead to people thinking you’re incompetent or totally disinterested,

so clean up your act if you want to stay. If you’re looking to go, keep it up!

Check out these non-verbal ways you might be inadvertently dissing your boss,

according to Wood, author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language

and Charisma (snapfirst impressions.com).

Your posture is slumped down, informal and a little too relaxed.

Spending hours a day, on average, hunched over our devices makes it hard to sit

up straight, admits Wood. But here are the straight goods: Sit up and appear interested,

engaged and engaging. Whether you are with someone or alone at your desk, sitting

slumped over sends a message of disinterest and disrespect.

“Instead of hunching over, keep your shoulders back, your head up, and open

your hands and move them upward when you gesture.”

You don’t give your full attention to your boss — from the feet up.

Your voice or body language can send messages that you don’t really care,

says Wood. One specific non-verbal behaviour area to focus on is your feet, she

says, as they reveal where you really want to be.

“For example, if you are in a meeting but really want to be back at your desk getting

other work done, your feet may point toward the door. You might think that

is a subtle cue that others couldn’t possibly notice, but where your feet point actually

affects the rest of your body’s alignment. To be more present and train yourself to

be fully attentive, point your feet and the rest of your body toward the speaker.”

You don’t get to the meeting a little early to talk and stay after the

meeting to visit.

Beginnings and endings are critical, stresses Wood. “By not spending time visiting

with people before the formal meeting begins and getting up and leaving quickly or checking

your phone before you leave the room, you are saying non-verbally, ‘I am not interested

in you and I have more important things to do.’”

Face-to-face interaction helps establish a bond and get an emotional read of each

person. “This helps you make connections and alliances, and helps you persuade others

to see your viewpoint,” says Wood.

You’re purposefully late when you could be on time.

You figure you’ll show up when you’re good and ready? “There are also people who

are late as a form of passive-aggressive control over those they make late,” says Wood.

Arriving late sends out the message that you think you are more important than others

and people must wait for you. “There are no good reasons to constantly be late for

work or work meetings.”

You don’t turn off technology or put it away before talking, and you

focus on technology when people are with you.

Being stuck to your technology is no longer considered a sign of being hard-working

and committed. “Now, you just look like you’re rude, and that you believe your time and

your needs are more important than the person(s) you are with.” Think of your device as

you would a toddler. Ask yourself, ‘Would I have my three-year-old with me during this

conversation at work?’ If the answer is no, put the device away or don’t even bring it. “If

you can, don’t take your technology with you, or keep it turned off and completely out

of sight. Don’t put it face up on the work space between you and the other person.”

You don’t reply to e-mails.

Not responding will have people guessing as to why and “remember, when you don’t

give a reasonable behaviour, people will guess why and those assumptions tend to be

negative. At least say, ‘I will get back soon,’ or ‘I read your e-mail and I will be responding

soon.’ Otherwise, people think you just don’t care,” says Wood.

You only e-mail or text; you don’t give face time.

Recent University of Illinois research indicates that communication done mainly

through e-mail will result in co-workers trusting you less. “Face-to-face contact yields

the most trust and cooperation while e-mail nets the least, with video conference

interaction ranking somewhere in between,” says Wood.

“Your boss and co-workers need to be face-to-face to read the thousands of non-verbal

cues that give them a read of you and help them decide the best way to interact with you.”

You are invisible; you keep your head down, don’t socialize and think your

work speaks for itself.

Slipping in and out of work silently sends a loud and clear message — and it’s not a good

one. Small talk can be big — “time is a communicator of respect and common courtesies

go a long way. You need to say hello or good-bye as you arrive or leave work. You

also need to visit or socialize, speak up and contribute in meetings, ask for time to discuss

projects face-to-face, go to lunch with your boss and team, and compliment others’

success or work effort,” says Wood. Face-to-face interactions build trust. Your boss is

watching so you need to participate and collaborate with the group.

You don’t think about others when you get dressed for work.

Office wear is indicative of where your head is at. “How you dress shows your respect

— or lack of respect — for others. It is actually discourteous to dress inappropriately for

work,” says Wood. One study indicates that 75% of Americans think a well-dressed

man is more successful than his causal co-workers, adds Wood, so dress to represent

your company well.

You’re a woman who does not wear makeup.

Okay, so this likely won’t get you fired, says Wood, but “research shows people judge

the beauty of a woman based on how much makeup she is wearing.” Makeup makes her

look more professional — one study reveals that it actually boosts a woman’s ranking in

competence and trustworthiness, says Wood, while “a study in the American Economic

Review said women who wear makeup can earn more than 30% more in pay

than female employees who don’t wear makeup.” Put your best face forward so you send

the right message.

Non-verbal bahaviours

Your facial expressions show disrespect and/or derision: Those eye rolls are inexcusable!

So too is sighing heavily when someone else is speaking. They’re both signs of disrespect

and contempt, says Wood, adding that many people don’t think these non-verbal

behaviours are a big deal “till their job is threatened.”

joanne.richard@sunmedia.ca

What you do — and don’t do — at work speak volumes about you. And some behaviours may even be dangerous to your job security, says Patti Wood, an internationally recognized non-verbal communication and human behaviour expert.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Ways to be a Better, Nicer Person

Ways to Be a Better Nicer Person

By Patti Wood Author of Snap Making the Most of First Impressions Body language and Charisma

There is no greater gift to give to someone than your interest. Here are Great Tips to Be a Better Person.

Give a Compliment
Why it works. If a compliment is gently given and very specific it makes a person feel seen. They light up and open up to you, the person that has made them feel so good. Ideally find something very specific to compliment. Otherwise, the person may feel that you have a general compliment ready to give to any person you see coming down the street. You can say something about their appearance, “I like the leather on your shoes, or I like the design on your shirt, or “I like the way your smile lights up the room." Be specific for example instead of just saying, "Susan that was an excellent meal” after that say, “That was so good, I could eat the rest of the pot with a spoon." or “That brownie dessert you made was melt in your mouth tell your momma good,” “I loved how you made it so pretty on the plate, you’re a real artist.”

Ask a Question

You can start with a simple, “Hello my name is ….and what do you do for fun?” Then listen, resisting the urge to jump in and talk about yourself. The information they share about themselves and their problem can help you determine how you can best serve them and thus help you craft what you will say in your elevator conversation.

Lean in Close and Flirt with the World

My mom never meets a stranger. I remember when my mom and I would go into Walgreen’s soda fountain for a BLT after a day of shopping. My mom would sit down with a big smile, and the waitress would walk up and my mom would turn to her and lean in close as if she had known that waitress all her life and start talking. But most of all she would start listening. She would look that waitress in the eye, nod her head and keep saying say "uh-huh," and by the end of the meal she would leave the place knowing the waitress’s name and the names of her children. She did this everywhere she went and she still does it. She flirts with the world, and everybody loves it.

Ask more questions and listen some more

This back and forth flow gives you rapport with the other person. Years ago I strained my voice singing in a community theater production of Godspell. It hurt to talk so I began asking questions as I met people instead of spouting off what I did. I am a communication consultant so I asked questions like, “What’s going on in your organization? “How’s the communication in your company?” “What are you doing to deal with your communication issues?” It’s amazing what I learned and how much business I got from people I barely said a word to. Because I listened to their problems, they believed (and rightly so) I could solve their problems. You might be memorable to a stranger because of what they said about themselves in your presence. Be memorable for what you don’t say.

Turn off technology or Don’t Answer It or get off of it when people are present

We have become so accustomed to answering the phone and looking at our computers, leaving our hands on the keyboards when someone comes into our offices to talk and leaving our cell phones in our hands and talking on them in public that we forget how rude all those things are. When you are standing in the checkout line, talk to the cashier and the people in line. Be present. If you are out with someone, try turning off your cell phone and say out loud, “Let me turn this off while we talk.” It’s amazing what a difference it will make in the impression you give because so few people take the time to be that polite. I suggest that when you are going into an important meeting, especially one where you will be presenting, you remove any visible technology. Hide your cell phone and PDA, rather than wearing them on your waist. When you have them in view, you’re saying nonverbally that someone else is more important and could interrupt you at any time.

What is the Impact of the Use of Technology and the Use of Social Media on Young People in or Entering the Job Market? How are Their Lives Improved or, Alternatively, Damaged By Social Media?

What is the impact of the use of technology and use of social media on young people in or entering the job market? How are their lives improved or, alternatively, damaged by social media?

1. The good news is that social media helps young people more tech savvy. If given a challenge of learning new software or app they are comfortable. They can also make quick “shallow” decisions getting through and responding to emails and texts and amazingly fast rates. They can also find information quickly. They are more likely to

love new information, new technology and new technical challenges. They are comfortable looking at a how to video and completely a task. But they can be bored

with routine and they can think that knowing facts and information about topic means they are competent and even an expert on the topic. They can be quick to judge others who do now have the technology savvy or speed.

2. Social media can pervert what you think is appropriate to share and not share with others. The odd anonymity and the one way communication makes you focus on yourself.

3. If you use social media a lot a work you may think you can do everything through email or text so you don’t give face-to-face time to create trust. Recent research by Gregory Northcraft, a professor in executive leadership at the University of Illinois, shows when projects are managed by way of detached, high-tech means rather than face-to-face, people will have less confidence that others will do what they say they’ll do. He says if your communication is mainly through email, coworkers will trust you less. Face-to-face contact yields the most trust and cooperation while e-mail nets the least, with videoconference interaction ranking somewhere in between. Your boss and coworkers need to be face-to- face to read the thousands of non-verbal cues that give them a read of you and help them decide the best way to interact with you.

4. If you don’t socialize face to face, spend time with team members or your boss you work may be invisible to others. Remember you not only need the trust that face to face time creates as mentioned above you need it for people to see you work, what you have accomplish and what you can accomplish.

5. You are "Uber" brief and direct and focus on your needs first instead of considering the other person before you focus on yourself.

6. If young people overuse technology they don’t have the “band with” in their brains to handle stress. And since they are laying down neural pathways to the ego centers of the brain by being on technology they are not laying down strong broader neural pathways to the social centers of the brain this makes them uncomfortable communicating face to face and have trouble forming good working relationships and handling stress in the workplace. (The science of that is outlined below.)

Why Technology is Stressing Us Out? Technology and the Brain

I was speaking at a private school recently and the teacher updated me on some of the latest research on the brain being done at Emory University. It is very interesting so stick with it.

The pruning of (reduction) neural pathways in the brain when we are young is based on how we use our brain. The brain prunes pathways we don’t use and keeps the neural pathways we use the most.
The ones laid down when we are highly focused on activities like reading a book or having a deep conversation are deeper and have more capacity like wide superhighways. They can handle more information overload when we are under stress like a highway can handle more cars in commute time than a surface road.
The neural pathways laid down for the quick shallow decisions we make when we are on technology such as, “I want this email I don’t want this one.” “I want this website in my Google search I don’t want that one.” are shallow and thin pathways that actually break apart under stress because of their low capacity, like a bridge could collapse if too many cars and trucks are on it at the same time. This is kind neural pathways that young people are forming the most.
If we don’t have focused attention and deep social bonds and therefore only have the shallow, narrow, neural pathways formed with our use of technology we have trouble handling stress. We may feel overwhelmed and helpless and unable to make a decision. We may have panic attacks, freeze in place, get sick or call our mommies for help. Any one that uses technology a lot can form more shallow narrow pathways and therefore have less ability to think and function under stress.

Tips on How to Run Effective Meetings from Patti Wood, Consultant, Trainer, Body Language Expert

I consult, write and do training on how to run effective meetings.

Here are a few of my tips.

1. State the purpose of the call. In one sentence say what you expect from the meeting. “Today we will….” If you wish you can follow that with the three main agenda items and outcomes you expect. If you are having a conference call make sure you really need it. If you are just sharing information or reading slides just send it in an email. Meetings should only be set if you need feedback, ideas and questions.

2. Send an Agenda and Questions before the meeting – Some employees love to prepare ahead of time so if you send people and agenda that highlight specifically, what you’re looking for such as. “I will go around and ask each of you to tell me what you need for the next step in the JK4 authorization change.” Those who like to prepare will have their notes ready. Some employee will act like they never saw any pre meeting announcement. They wait till they get to the meeting when they hear other people talk, they want to interact to get their creative juices flowing so don’t get mad at them.

3. Spend a few minutes on “Small Talk” at the beginning of the meeting - Small talk actually saves you time. Surprising research says that the rapport gained in less than two minutes of effective small talk lets everyone get an emotional read of the meeting members. That makes it easier for people to share and creates more buy in of the content of the meeting. We forget that there are so many things we do in a face to face conversation, to establish report nonverbally and verbally. Surprisingly, research shows that if you cut out a little visiting conference call meeting last longer. Try something old and something new. So ask about the weather, people’s families, what people did last weekend and if you want to mix it up ask people to briefly say the best thing that has happened in their lives since the last call. If there is a positive news story ask if people heard about it. Think of it of small talk as an agenda item. Label and call t Rapport Building Time or Team Time. Tell the time. “Team Building time is important. It helps us work more effectively on the call and appreciate each person who is on the team.”

4. Include Everyone - People need to feel accepted and part of the group. Make sure you do something so that everyone says something before the end of the meeting or you acknowledge them verbally in some way for something they did outside the meeting. For example of Sam rarely speaks in the meeting say, “Sam thank your for the extra time you put in to serve are Client last Friday.” Even if you said it to Sam at the time, you are acknowledging him in front of the group. Some employees may feel a bit uncomfortable for a minute, but you need to let the group know participation in the meeting is important and that good actions are noticed and acknowledged.

5. Conduct an “end of meeting check in” and ask

a. “Is there anything that you are going to feel or need to go forward?”

b. “Let’s go around and check in.”

c. “Let’s go around so I can hear from each person what their next action item is on this.”