Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog

Body Language Expert and Dating Coach Patti Wood

Patti Wood Dating Coach

Patti Wood is called the “Gold Standard” of Body Language by the Washington Post and credited in the New York Times for bringing the science of body language to national attention Patti Wood, is a true expert. She is the author of ten books including, “Success Signals Understanding Body Language and SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma.” She is the body language expert who first analyzed Celebrity couple's body language for the media, having a weekly article in US Weekly, Yes, and Ok magazines for three years. She continues to be the go-to expert on celebrity couple’s body language. Just google her name and a famous couple like the Royals, the Kardashians, or Ben and Jen, as well are her name and the word Dating, Couples, Signs He or She is Into You, Toxic behavior, and more.

She speaks to Fortune 500 clients, and you may have seen her on Good Morning America, The Today show, ABC, NBC, National Geographic, The History Channel, and National News Channels.

She is quoted every week in publications such as Business Week, Psychology Today, The Wall Street Journal, Readers Digest, The Sun, Elite Daily, and Fortune. She coaches business owners and C-Suite level executives on Dating, Yes, that’s a niche because extremely smart successful, and wealthy people can find dating challenging.

Patti doesn’t advertise or market herself as a dating coach instead her clients find her. They may have been in an audience in one of her speeches, read an article where she is quoted as an expert, or may research and google the top body language expert. Often they come to her for executive or public speaking coaching and then hire Patti for dating coaching.

Patt’s Approach.

1. What do you think about dating apps? I work with my clients to find alternatives to dating apps as they often have a recognizable face and or name.

2. What are some tips you would give to someone who has to go on a first date?

First I would help them reframe it not as “.. have to go…’ to a gets to go on an adventure.
We work on their first impression going over the four first impression factors Credibility Likeability Attractiveness and Power to see how they come across to a potential date. We practice, sometimes in front of a mirror and videotape on their phone and review and I give coaching and feedback.

Instead of saying “Do this because I said so.” We have conversations about what they think of dating behaviors such as small talk. For example, I ask my clients what they think about small talk. Many of my clients are Drivers and Correctors and or a combination of the two on the DISC personality inventory. Drivers think small talk is a waste of time and they want to rush through it and get to the good stuff Correctors can perceive small talk as shallow, fake, and insincere. I help them see the value in small talk so they look forward to it rather than approaching it like a bite of bitter broccoli. We go over fun easy and interesting conversation starters, questions to discover more about your date and follow-up questions. I also give LOTS of coaching on how to listen.

3. What do you think of friends-with-benefits relationships? My opinion is not important, helping my client discover if it's right and healthy for them and their benefits partner is critical. We go over what they need to say out loud to make it clear what they want and don’t want and how to ask their benefits partner for their boundaries and expectations. I suggest they do “Updates and Check In’s” to make sure they are both on the same page. I ask my clients a lot of questions to see If they feel honored and respected and watch and observe their nonverbal behavior. If I see signs that they don’t then I suggest they have a conversation, change things or get out!

If they find themselves being unkind or unthoughtful or unhealthy in how they deal with the other person, we talk about how that affects both people and creates a pattern of communication that leads to an unhealthy romantic relationship with a long-term partner. Once you allow yourself to be mistreated or become abusive you begin to set down neural pathways in your brain that you will go down automatically in your dating and romantic relationships.

4. What would you tell a client who needs help getting out of the friend zone with the person they like? I suggest testing the waters. Sometimes it's just a simple change in touch such as putting their hand on the back of a friend to guide them into a restaurant or touching the top of their hand to emphasize a point or as they laugh together at a joke and being observant of their friend's response. We practice having open honest conversations to test the waters. It is funny how simply saying, “ I really like you.” And seeing how your friend responds Can be a relationship changer.

5. In your opinion, what are some personality traits men find irresistible in women?

Warmth, Confidence, Curiosity, Sexiness, Affectionate, and my clients tend to be attracted to what they describe as a very feminine woman. Some of my clients like Women who are shy in public, soft-spoken women and I believe it’s because it’s a contrast to their personality and it makes a good match for them.

6. In your opinion, what are some personality traits women find irresistible in men? Confident, Funny, Warm, Affectionate, Sexy, Easygoing.

7. How can people find you? Patti@PattiWood.net Thebodylanguagelady@blogspot.com

8. Two of Patti’s Books. “Success Signals Understanding Body Language and SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma.”

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

Does Blinking a Lot Mean Your Lying? What Gwyneth Paltrow's Blinking Meant in her Ski Accident Court Room Testimony.

Here is what the Huffington Post quoted me saying in a recent article. The link to the article is in the comments.

Patti Wood, a body language expert and the author of “Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language & Charisma,” said that blinking rates under ordinary circumstances can vary widely depending on the person, such that 40 blinks per minute might also be a typical rate. So the key is to analyze what someone’s baseline is in different contexts.

“As stress increases, blink rate goes up to 70 blinks per minute or higher,” Wood said. “So, for example, you look at what a person’s blink rate is in a courtroom setting: How are they blinking most of the time? What is their baseline in that situation? Then you look at how their baseline rate changes due to certain factors — for example, when they ask a question and they’re stating their response, or when someone on the stand is saying something about them.”

If you’re trying to assess how someone’s blinking rate can change during questioning, Wood recommended mixing in more difficult questions with easier, fact-based inquiries. You may even ask the same tough question multiple times to get a better comparison. If their blinking pattern changes, you might want to get to the bottom of what they’re truly thinking.

“For example, in a job interview situation, you would ask them what’s making them uncomfortable about answering the question,” Wood said. “You should come from a place of integrity and curiosity. The goal should be to create conne

ction, establish a relationship with people so they feel comfortable telling you the truth, rather than have to fear everyone is lying and expend the energy trying to catch them. Research shows that people who [think they] are in the presence of an honest person with integrity, they are more likely to feel comfortable telling the truth.”

And remember that a change in blink pattern doesn’t necessarily mean someone is lying, so give people grace.

“There are many reasons why someone could have rapid blinking,” Wood said. Despite those studies showing some link between blinking and dishonesty, that’s not the whole picture, especially in a courtroom setting. After all, a person’s excessive blinking may simply stem from the stress of taking the stand in front of so many people.

“Blink rate is linked to a change or sudden shift in emotion. Now we have to accept that for any person, going into court with cameras present, reporting on every word we say, would be stressful.”https://www.huffpost.com/entry/blinking-lying-gwyneth-paltrow_l_642330c6e4b04efaae793fe7?fbclid=IwAR3SzO5wyxtUaPyaqZuHkaKyGqWcsPsfaLJabAs67R2xryrkhpT24u2OJCo

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/blinking-lying-gwyneth-paltrow_l_642330c6e4b04efaae793fe7

What is Body Doubling and Why Does It Work to Help People With ADHD and Others to Get Us to Work and Complete Tasks? By Body Language Expert Patti Wood

Body Doubling is a strategy Recommended for people with ADHD. But because it's based on the effect of the scientific principle of isopraxism, it is one of the reasons it works in work and educational settings and it is recommended by therapists) while people clean, declutter, or

finish their to-do lists. It helps with executive functioning and accountability.

Body Doubling works because of a scientific phenomenon called Isopraxism, a pull towards the same energy to save energy. Isopraxism is why birds fly in formation, deer run together, fish swim in schools, why we do the wave at football games, slow in traffic if the car in front of us slows down, and why get can easily get pulled into someone’s bad mood. Research shows that the strongest energy, the strongest leader has the strongest pulling effect, and that negative energy (anger) has the strongest pulling effect. The people we are with can motivate us to change or shift our body language. Body doubling can help us get work done.

Body doubling creates a multi-tiered effect to get you moving and motivated. First, there is someone else moving so you are pulled to “Match” that movement. Your limbic system (not your logical thinking neocortex) feels the pull to move because they are moving. If you like a trust them that pull is stronger. You don’t have to Mirror them and do the same exact thing they are doing; you just must move. So for example when my assistant is in the office and may Mirror her and sit at my desk next to her and also type, but I may also just match and be up doing other things in the office or be working in another room. Her presence and energy of being productive pull me to be productive. Specifically, we are pulled by all our senses, The visual body language cues of the other person, the sound of them breathing and talking, and even their scent, ie they are sweating so we are pulled to work and sweat.

I have many fellow entrepreneurs and author friends that do their best writing in a coffee shop because there is movement around them. People’s energy and movement, create matching energy and productivity in them. I had an office in a shared office space in a cool hip Ponce City Market before covid, where I spent most of my time in the coffee bar or sitting in one of the lounges working because I loved being around all those fellow high-energy entrepreneurs.

In addition, there is a psychological pull towards being productive, where you see them working, and you feel good if you do too and feel guilty if you don’t move as well. My ex-fiancé, insisted I buy a two-story house because he hated that he could see me sitting at my desk working in my office when he was sitting on the couch watching TV. He wanted me to work on a separate floor so he didn’t feel my pulling effect and didn’t feel guilty for not working nights and weekends as I did. He worked full-time, he shouldn’t have felt any guilt but the pull was strong.

What is the best Planner System? What Is a Great Planner Calendar Gratitude and Goal Setting System to Get Things Done?

In the morning I fill out the brown book, it’s called The Sunrise Manifesto. The Manifesto book has Morning Pages where you write and dump out all the thoughts cluttering your brain so they don’t block your creative flow. They are recommended in the famous creativity book The Artist's Way. The Manifesto also has a great gratitude and to-do page as well as goal-setting and monthly review pages. I’ve been using the sunrise manifesto for years and recommend it to all my coaching clients.

I cut out and add the Sunrise Pages to A5 Lux planner (far right) and set tasks in that planner. Also in that planner, I have set up dividers and sections for the different books, speeches I am working on, and a songwriting section. If I have a big project with a client they may get a section in the paper planner.

I have my goals and tasks and copies of my sections and more on my computer calendar. I just enjoy writing and it helps me be creative and follow through. I use Microsoft calendar and it lets you color code. That calendar is typically open on the far left screen in my office. I have three screens.

I’ve used Color Coding on my monthly calendar for decades. Now my detailed monthly calendars are on my computer with color coding. Color coding is the bomb. So for example appointments are a certain color of blue, and I have other colors for Zoom programs, In town programs, and out-of-town programs. Anything to do with music is purple! My volunteer work is another color. And fun with friends and family is yellow. That way I can look at my calendar and see if I don’t have enough of a particular color and plan accordingly. I always want more hot pink programs and more fun yellow.

I print out my detailed monthly computer calendar in A5 size and tape it into the A5 so it’ll be with me in my purse. It sounds cumbersome, but I enjoy that cutting, taping, and coloring.

At the end of the month, I transfer all the pages except for the monthly calendar from the sunrise manifesto and A5 pages to the big binder on the far left so my carry-around planner stays small.

At that time, even though I have everything on my computer I like to review the month. Flip through the pages and touch them. It gives me a tangible sense of accomplishment. I see what I was grateful for and sometimes I write to thank you notes if I was grateful for a person. Though a gratitude journal makes it easy to say you’re to the person immediately.

And then I start resetting goals for the next month.

I used to write a blog that had a monthly post of every book I read and my synopsis and review, but now I just keep track of the books I’ve read on my computer calendar. This year I started to keep track of the movies I watch since I’m working on that movie book. The movie book is a long project. I have it calendared out with tasks over the next two years by Doubling works because of a scientific phenomenon called Isopraxism, a pull towards the same energy to save energy. Isopraxism is why birds fly in formation, deer run together, fish swim in schools, why we do the wave at football games, slow in traffic if the car in front of us slows down, and why get can easily get pulled into someone’s bad mood. Research shows that the strongest energy, the strongest leader has the strongest pulling effect, and that negative energy (anger) has the strongest pulling effect. The people we are with can motivate us to change or shift our body language. Body doubling can help us get work done.

Body doubling creates a multi-tiered effect to get you moving and motivated. First, there is someone else moving so you are pulled to “Match” that movement. Your limbic system (not your logical thinking neocortex) feels the pull to move because they are moving. If you like a trust them that pull is stronger. You don’t have to Mirror them and do the same exact thing they are doing; you just must move. So for example when my assistant is in the office and may Mirror her and sit at my desk next to her and also typing, but I may also just match and be up doing other things in the office or be working in another room. Her presence and energy of being productive pull me to be productive. Specifically, we are pulled by all our senses, The visual body language cues of the other person, the sound of them breathing and talking, and even their scent, ie they are sweating so we are pulled to work and sweat.

Gwyneth Paltrow ski accident trial body language. Does Blinking a Lot Mean Your Lying? By Body Language Expert Patti Wood

In the footage from her testimony during the ski accident trial, there are some interesting insights about Gwyneth Paltrow.

In the video below Gweneth describes what happened her upward hand motions as she speaks are in synch with what she is saying which would indicate she is telling the truth. Her voice baseline is calm, and slow so blips from her baseline are revealing. As she replies to the “assault” line of questioning. She blinks rapidly over her baseline and does what I call an “Eye Shade” holding her eyes shut for a moment longer than normal when she talks about, “this very strange grunting noise.” And she accentuates and elongates the word grunting in a way that doesn’t seem to match or align with the rest of her testimony. It would make more sense if the skies coming between her legs and her legs spreading upset her more, than the grunting noise. Yet she is emphasizing the grunting that would make it fit her narrative of him sexually assaulting her.

She did not appear likable during the trial. Likeability is one of the four first impression factors I discuss. It has been shown to affect the juror's opinions no matter what the evidence in the jury trial. For example, she huffed and rolled her eyes and looked like a petulant teenager at certain points in the testimony. She looked like, "I don't have time for this nonsense." I found that interesting as she is an actress and could have chosen to act differently. Her immaturity was so over the top and unlikeable. That is counter to her GOOP Branding that says, "I take care of my health and exercise, and if you follow me and buy my products you will have a calm serene healthy life." Did she do that because she couldn't help herself? Was she coached to look indignant so the jury would disrespect the defendant?

In general, would you say blinking a lot while speaking is a sign that someone is lying? This is something many of us have heard, but is it actually true?

There are many reasons why someone could have rapid blinking. When doing a nonverbal assessment you consider the context of the situation the person is the circumstances what’s going on with a person. Then you analyze the baseline for that particular behavior for example normal blinking rate come ordinary circumstances is about 40 blinks per minute and as stress increases blank rate goes up to 70 blinks per minute or higher. Ideally, you also want a baseline of what the normal blinking rate is, so it’s easier to rule out things like that person has allergies or allergies for other issues like that. Then you look at what I have named in the literature the timing of the tell. So, for example, if you look at what a person's blank rate is in a Courtroom setting how are they blinking most of the time what is their baseline in that situation. Then you look at how their baseline Great changes due to certain factors. For example when they ask a question and they’re stating their response, or when someone on the stand is saying something about them. (I analyzed OJ in the O.J. Simpson trial in the beginning of the trial he would do a full micro facial Q of a snarled with bare teeth when anyone on Stand said something negative about him, at a certain point in the trial he got a new lawyer and that lawyer got approval from the judge to give him an intense sedative and OJ lost all facial affect for the rest of the trial.

-- Are there other reasons someone may be blinking a lot that has nothing to do with lying? Yes, allergies dry eyes pollen in the air like there is right now in Atlanta, or general nervousness. The first week I began doing Nightly TV interviews for CNN and I noticed that I had a high blink rate because I both not nervous about being on TV the bright white lights in my eyes made me blink. I also noticed that I blink for the first 30 seconds or so of the interview but once I calm down I didn’t blink
-- Do you have any thoughts about Gwyneth Paltrow's body language during her testimony in the videos that have been shared online? Is there anything you take away from her body language? If you send me some videos I’d be happy to do an analysis for you just quick videos would be all I need as I’ve watched some of the testimony but I’d rather look at the videos you sent to make that analysis.
-- Anything else you'd like to add on the topic of blinking and lying?

And Various programs such as my establishing credibility and deception detection program, my risk assessment program, and my interview program teach questioning techniques to affirm you’ve made an accurate assessment. For example, if you ask someone a question and they do rapid blinking over 70 blinks per minute as they respond and that’s a blip from their baseline behavior you don’t say to yourself I know they’re lying. Instead, you change the topic to something totally different, and easy for them to answer to see if they stop blinking. And if they do you go back later and ask the same question and see if they begin to blink again. If it’s a critical issue that you need them to be honest about you can even do the same process a few more times. Then say for example in a job interview situation you would ask them what’s making them uncomfortable about answering the question. Nonverbal assessments should never be a “hey I gotcha” situation. Instead, you should come from a place of integrity and curiosity. The goal should be to create connections and establish a relationship with people so they feel comfortable telling you the truth, rather than have to fear everyone is lying and expend energy trying to catch them. Research shows that people who are in the presence of an honest person with integrity are more likely to feel comfortable telling the truth

Also once you start knowing noticing rapid blink rate is different from somebody’s normal blink rate you will notice it. You’ll begin to watch politicians and celebrities are interviewed on TV and your friends and family. Give your friends and family grace! Never say hey you’re rapidly blinking I know you’re lying!

Does Blinking a Lot Mean Your Lying?

https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video;_ylt=AwrEoeht0iFkMAAPzpdXNyoA;_ylu=Y29sbwNiZjEEcG9zAzEEdnRpZAMEc2VjA3BpdnM-?p=Gweneth+Paltrow&fr2=piv-web&type=E210US0G0&fr=mcafee#id=4&vid=f90b60c7864fe49c07fe98ecbbc6f3e7&action=view

Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog

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Body Language Expert and Dating Coach Patti Wood

Does Blinking a Lot Mean Your Lying? What Gwyneth Paltrow's Blinking Meant in her Ski Accident Court Room Testimony.

What is Body Doubling and Why Does It Work to Help People With ADHD and Others to Get Us to Work and Complete Tasks? By Body Language Expert Patti Wood

What is the best Planner System? What Is a Great Planner Calendar Gratitude and Goal Setting System to Get Things Done?

Gwyneth Paltrow ski accident trial body language. Does Blinking a Lot Mean Your Lying? By Body Language Expert Patti Wood

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