- Make palm to palm contact. The single most important part of the international business handshake is making palm to palm contact.
- The palm of the hand shows you’re willing to be honest and that you come to business meeting “unarmed”
- Start early. Men are not always sure whether to shake hands and how to shake hands or greet women, especially in a mixed culture setting so let your body language show what you want. At fifteen feet flash up your eyebrows to show you see them.
- Then smile to show you’re friendly. The smile is the single most important nonverbal cue to show friendliness. It is actually able to be recognized from 300 feet away and a true wide smile is one of the few cues that have the same meaning in all cultures.
- Put out your hand at 6 to four feet away from the person you want to greet so they know you want to shake hands. If you prefer not to approach with your hands at your side and your left side slightly in front of you as you meet.
- People can form a first impression in less than a fortieth of a second and may be deciding what they think about you before you begin to speak so if you know you are about to greet someone important make sure you posture is “up” make sure your head is up and above your shoulders. If you are seated rise to greet others so that your are on an equal plane. (Unless you are eating. You shouldn't’t go up to shake hands with someone who is eating, nor should you have to shake hands when someone approaches you when you are eating. )
Make sure your posture is “open” that is, and your arms are not held or folded in front of your heart. That communicates that you may be afraid or lack confidence.
Animate your voice. Make sure it has the appropriate energy to show you are pleased and happy to meet someone.
Men prefer to talk face to face standing and side to side or catty corner sitting. Choose to stand or sit to make a man comfortable and he is more likely to have a favorable impression of you.
Remove your bracelets from your right hand if you choose to shake hands in a business setting as they send a first impression, “I am a woman” rather than, “I am a smart impressive person.”
A first impression is formed very quickly, but there is also a "recency effect". People remember the LAST thing you say or do. It is especially critical in an initial interaction. Make sure you end the conversation with appropriate eye contact. Think about the other person, make a real connection with them, smile softly and make sure that if you leave with a closing statement such as, “It was a pleasure meeting you.” That your voice is expressive and sincere. Think and feel the statement as your say it rather that say it automatically.
We often are thinking of ourselves, how we look, in an initial interaction. The big secret is to focus on the other person. Make it your job and your pleasure to make them feel comfortable and you will definitely make a great first impression!
Written by Patti Wood MA, CSP.
12 body language tricks for great first impressions for women working internationally.
I was asked today by a journalist for my for 10 body language “tricks” for good first impressions for business woman for an issue of Harper’s Bazaar Dubai. This has been one of my favorite research areas for many years and certainly one of my audience's favorites so here are my top 12.
Watch Bush's body language as he misquotes during his speeches
Watch Bush's body language as he makes various mistakes in several presidential speeches. In the first two he tries to search for the right phrase by moving his hands. This is actually and effective tool for retrieving files in your brain. But unfortunately it doesn't work for him so he smiles his little boy smile. In many of the other clips he doesn't even seem to notice his mistake! Watch talented new anchors. If they make a mistake they quickly say a transition word such as, "rather" then correct themselves and keep going without a pause. Funny. If I had been hired as his speech/media coach I would have taught him that bridging technique in a our first coaching session. Enjoy and laugh out loud!
Thursday Body Language Expert Blog. Voices
Last night I watched a special on Alistair Cook. You might know him as the man who hosted introduced Masterpiece Theater for 22 years. He also had a weekly broadcast called, "Letter From America" for over 58 years. He would sit at his window overlooking Central Park and write about America. As I watched the show I realized in many ways he was one of the first pod casters/bloggers. He observed what was happening in the world and talked about it each week. People would send him letters. Some of them addressed simply Alistair Cook in the apartment that overlooks Central Park, New York. He had a blog following.
He and his wife were great friends with Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall and Bacall remarked in the special about Alistair's unique voice. I have blogged a lot about voices. His was quite remarkable. Raised in Blackpool he latter went to one of the colleges at Cambridge and developed what we call in the states and ivy league voice. Sophisticated and some what haughty he sounded like he knew everything about everything and was excited to share it with you. A fascinating man. Think about voices today. Does your voice sound knowledgeable? Does it sound sophisticated? Does it sound warm?
He and his wife were great friends with Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall and Bacall remarked in the special about Alistair's unique voice. I have blogged a lot about voices. His was quite remarkable. Raised in Blackpool he latter went to one of the colleges at Cambridge and developed what we call in the states and ivy league voice. Sophisticated and some what haughty he sounded like he knew everything about everything and was excited to share it with you. A fascinating man. Think about voices today. Does your voice sound knowledgeable? Does it sound sophisticated? Does it sound warm?
Tom and Kate's Body Language...
Check out my recent read on Tom Cruise and his wife Katie Holmes' body language with US Weekly...
http://www.usmagazine.com/photos/happy-2nd-anniversary-tomkat
http://www.usmagazine.com/photos/happy-2nd-anniversary-tomkat
The History Channel Presents "The Secrets of Body Language" - See Patti's Feature in This Compelling Program!
Patti Wood is on a History Channel special this month entitled, “The Secrets of Body Language”She is one of the leading experts in Nonverbal Communication in the world who were interviewed about how to read body language and paralanguage (voice.)
The next airing of the History Channel body language special will be this Saturday, October 18, 2008 at 5:00 EST.
If you would like to contact Patti about speaking or coaching please go to her website for contact information at http://www.pattiwood.net/
Body Language Observations of the 2nd Presidential Candidates Debate - McCain vs. Obama October 08
The “fighting rules” were strict, allowing little interaction.
The candidates had to stay six feet apart, in their designated area.
******* (I have listed some of the debate rules at the bottom of the article).
Thank goodness there were no lecterns, just chairs upon which to perch while the other was speaking. This way, we could see more of the candidate’s bodies despite the fact that the other debating rules meant there was little engagement with each other. They would have very little interpersonal debate, but rather give “short speeches” in response to questions asked.
Obama came onto the stage in a long relaxed stroll. In this debate Obama was respectful and McCain did not have to tap him to get him to shake hands. They shook hands each grasping the other’s elbow in the classic politician’s handshake showing power and control.McCain had more energy than I had ever seen him have. His voice tone and energy was often positive and hopeful. He was coached well to be upbeat in the beginning of the debate but, overused that “we can do it”, “we are Americans” hopefulness later in the debate when he should have been mad at Obama for aligning him with Bush and calling him on it.
At the beginning of the debates Obama was calm, blank eyed and seemed more coached and less passionate and at times although he kept gesturing, his eyes seemed dead eyed. . While Obama spoke McCain paced the stage a bit nervously.McCain needed to be strong in this debate, show more energy confidence and power than Obama. Obama needed to be more cool, collected and in control. McCain showed more energy but overall did not seem presidential. He has more knowledge but his energy was wasted in attacks, verbal and nonverbal. He walked toward towards Obama as he attacked, but then would step back. Neither move showing strength. He often showed snarly smirking facial expressions as he walked toward Obama and pointed at him in little jabs. While discussing the Bush/Cheney-backed energy bill "stuffed full" of goodies for the oil companies. "Know who voted for it? That one," he says, not looking at Obama. "Know who voted against it? I did..." This was the biggest nonverbal memorable moment in the debate and was all negative for McCain. A big mistake.
Powerful debaters let attackers come to them and smile or act bored. Obama smiled as if McCain's attack didn’t mean a thing. McCain needed to show his confidence and superior experience knowledge but with the exception of a few questions, like what we should do about Russia, his true deep knowledge was not shown.
Obama attacked McCain during the debates by standing near his chair or walking forward using his hand to make fists. He didn’t look at him, and that worked. I didn’t like any of the attacks but Obama’s method of attack worked.
While McCain talked and Obama waited and listen for his next question, Obama sat on his stool with one leg down up with his foot resting on the bar with his legs spread open to take a posture of “cool power.”
I could almost see a black and white photo of him in that same pose on the cover of a jazz CD. This was not the same pausing, awkward Obama. His coaching between the debates was clear. Answer the questions quickly and strongly. Often Obama leapt out of the chair and strode toward Moderator Brokaw as he answered Brokaw's question. Obama loves a podium. He was more awkward in the town hall setting. He had a hard time at first approaching the audience and individual questioners. But, gained confidence later and scribbled notes more frequently. His notebook spilling over the small table.With the physical; contrast one tall and slender, the other short and older; their physical differences seemed more pronounced as they walked on the stage in this setting.
Remember, we tend to choose the winning candidate in a debate seconds after it begins. Typically, we make these choices based on the charismatic factors of Likeability, attractiveness and level of dominance. Though McCain was more comfortable in the town hall format and sincerely engaged the people and talked to the questioners in an authentically warm way, his gestures showed up too late. Obama had it made before he opened his mouth.More notes to come later today. In the meantime, check out this story with me and several other experts:http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/asection/la-na-debateside8-2008oct08,0,4755608.story********The format: Under the terms of a 31-page Memorandum of Understanding, Candidates must stay in their designated areas. The NBC host Tom Brokaw will moderate, picking questions from a pool 150 undecided voters from the Nashville area, pre-selected by Gallup so that they're demographically representative. The live questioners will ask their questions directly, and Brokaw will intersperse them with selections from a reported six million others received by email. Cameras aren't allowed to show the reactions of the live questioners -- just their initial questions. Tom Brokaw will identify a person and call on them; the questioner will ask the question, and then be seated. The candidate to whom the question was posed will have two minutes to respond, and then the other candidate will have two minutes. Then there'll be one minute of open discussion.
The candidates had to stay six feet apart, in their designated area.
******* (I have listed some of the debate rules at the bottom of the article).
Thank goodness there were no lecterns, just chairs upon which to perch while the other was speaking. This way, we could see more of the candidate’s bodies despite the fact that the other debating rules meant there was little engagement with each other. They would have very little interpersonal debate, but rather give “short speeches” in response to questions asked.
Obama came onto the stage in a long relaxed stroll. In this debate Obama was respectful and McCain did not have to tap him to get him to shake hands. They shook hands each grasping the other’s elbow in the classic politician’s handshake showing power and control.McCain had more energy than I had ever seen him have. His voice tone and energy was often positive and hopeful. He was coached well to be upbeat in the beginning of the debate but, overused that “we can do it”, “we are Americans” hopefulness later in the debate when he should have been mad at Obama for aligning him with Bush and calling him on it.
At the beginning of the debates Obama was calm, blank eyed and seemed more coached and less passionate and at times although he kept gesturing, his eyes seemed dead eyed. . While Obama spoke McCain paced the stage a bit nervously.McCain needed to be strong in this debate, show more energy confidence and power than Obama. Obama needed to be more cool, collected and in control. McCain showed more energy but overall did not seem presidential. He has more knowledge but his energy was wasted in attacks, verbal and nonverbal. He walked toward towards Obama as he attacked, but then would step back. Neither move showing strength. He often showed snarly smirking facial expressions as he walked toward Obama and pointed at him in little jabs. While discussing the Bush/Cheney-backed energy bill "stuffed full" of goodies for the oil companies. "Know who voted for it? That one," he says, not looking at Obama. "Know who voted against it? I did..." This was the biggest nonverbal memorable moment in the debate and was all negative for McCain. A big mistake.
Powerful debaters let attackers come to them and smile or act bored. Obama smiled as if McCain's attack didn’t mean a thing. McCain needed to show his confidence and superior experience knowledge but with the exception of a few questions, like what we should do about Russia, his true deep knowledge was not shown.
Obama attacked McCain during the debates by standing near his chair or walking forward using his hand to make fists. He didn’t look at him, and that worked. I didn’t like any of the attacks but Obama’s method of attack worked.
While McCain talked and Obama waited and listen for his next question, Obama sat on his stool with one leg down up with his foot resting on the bar with his legs spread open to take a posture of “cool power.”
I could almost see a black and white photo of him in that same pose on the cover of a jazz CD. This was not the same pausing, awkward Obama. His coaching between the debates was clear. Answer the questions quickly and strongly. Often Obama leapt out of the chair and strode toward Moderator Brokaw as he answered Brokaw's question. Obama loves a podium. He was more awkward in the town hall setting. He had a hard time at first approaching the audience and individual questioners. But, gained confidence later and scribbled notes more frequently. His notebook spilling over the small table.With the physical; contrast one tall and slender, the other short and older; their physical differences seemed more pronounced as they walked on the stage in this setting.
Remember, we tend to choose the winning candidate in a debate seconds after it begins. Typically, we make these choices based on the charismatic factors of Likeability, attractiveness and level of dominance. Though McCain was more comfortable in the town hall format and sincerely engaged the people and talked to the questioners in an authentically warm way, his gestures showed up too late. Obama had it made before he opened his mouth.More notes to come later today. In the meantime, check out this story with me and several other experts:http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/asection/la-na-debateside8-2008oct08,0,4755608.story********The format: Under the terms of a 31-page Memorandum of Understanding, Candidates must stay in their designated areas. The NBC host Tom Brokaw will moderate, picking questions from a pool 150 undecided voters from the Nashville area, pre-selected by Gallup so that they're demographically representative. The live questioners will ask their questions directly, and Brokaw will intersperse them with selections from a reported six million others received by email. Cameras aren't allowed to show the reactions of the live questioners -- just their initial questions. Tom Brokaw will identify a person and call on them; the questioner will ask the question, and then be seated. The candidate to whom the question was posed will have two minutes to respond, and then the other candidate will have two minutes. Then there'll be one minute of open discussion.
Vice Presidential Debates--Palin and Biden’s Body Language
My Ramblings on Body Language:
The non interaction rule set by McCain’s team worked to Biden’s benefit. His usual over the top anger and ranting was much more restrained. Yes, Biden was angry. Yes, he pointed and used one handed and two handed chopping motions to make his points, but this time his anger made Biden appear earnest and sincere.
Yes, he got angry at Palin very early in the debate and he occasionally pointed his finger at her and many times he jumped in to say she was wrong before he was called on. Still, he could have been more attacking and he would have looked far worse.
Palin started with a smile and kept a smile on for most of the debate. Click here to hear my comments on the O'reilly Factor: http://www.pattiwood.net or read the interview below.
Palin walks the “B line” well.
What is the B line?
Well, women have to walk a line between being too feminine and being perceived as weak or going too far to the other side of the line and being perceived as a B***ch. Powerful women have the hardest time with it. Hilary Clinton didn’t have a problem choosing. She stayed strong and in doing so came across too far on the “B side”.
Palin wants to be more feminine so she uses her beautiful beauty queen smile to mask her anger. At times, especially near the end of the debate, the smile became a “snarl” and made her look condescending. We don’t like “masking smiles” on powerful people.
Palin did a little blinking when she started but not the highly nervous 50 to 60 blinks per minute or the 80 blinks per minute often called the “Nixon effect”. She went to her strength, her down home folksy manner of delivery. Her little "betcha’s" and other contractions were a little much when she talked about the big issues, but overall they evoked a “ Reaganistic” warmth and the approval ratings soared. Tune in for more as I talk about Palin’s winks and Biden's head tilts later...
To view my ABC News article and more on this subject visit my site.
The non interaction rule set by McCain’s team worked to Biden’s benefit. His usual over the top anger and ranting was much more restrained. Yes, Biden was angry. Yes, he pointed and used one handed and two handed chopping motions to make his points, but this time his anger made Biden appear earnest and sincere.
Yes, he got angry at Palin very early in the debate and he occasionally pointed his finger at her and many times he jumped in to say she was wrong before he was called on. Still, he could have been more attacking and he would have looked far worse.
Palin started with a smile and kept a smile on for most of the debate. Click here to hear my comments on the O'reilly Factor: http://www.pattiwood.net or read the interview below.
Palin walks the “B line” well.
What is the B line?
Well, women have to walk a line between being too feminine and being perceived as weak or going too far to the other side of the line and being perceived as a B***ch. Powerful women have the hardest time with it. Hilary Clinton didn’t have a problem choosing. She stayed strong and in doing so came across too far on the “B side”.
Palin wants to be more feminine so she uses her beautiful beauty queen smile to mask her anger. At times, especially near the end of the debate, the smile became a “snarl” and made her look condescending. We don’t like “masking smiles” on powerful people.
Palin did a little blinking when she started but not the highly nervous 50 to 60 blinks per minute or the 80 blinks per minute often called the “Nixon effect”. She went to her strength, her down home folksy manner of delivery. Her little "betcha’s" and other contractions were a little much when she talked about the big issues, but overall they evoked a “ Reaganistic” warmth and the approval ratings soared. Tune in for more as I talk about Palin’s winks and Biden's head tilts later...
To view my ABC News article and more on this subject visit my site.
Interview with Hillary Reynolds of Her Way Up...
"Her Way Up" is a soon-to-be launched online community for businesswomen. We are currently looking for women business owners (all industries) to profile. -Hillary Reynolds
1) How long have you been in business? I have been a professional speaker and body language expert since 1982
2) What made you decide to launch your own company? Actually people in my audiences said I should start my own speaking company.
3) Are there any women in business who you admire? And why? Some I admire for their business acumen. It is harder to find successful women business owners who are not stressed and have a balanced happy life. I know a women business owner who have great business success, or have a great family lives having both is difficult. It has taken me years to achieve a balanced happy life and I am so grateful to have it.
4) What have been the greatest challenges that you have faced? Living with economic uncertainty has been my greatest challenge. Also, I can be creative, and disciplined and motivate myself, but sometimes I would like a business partner to bounce ideas off of or to say, “Tomorrow will be great!” I have an awesome assistant, fellow speakers and entrepreneurial friends, and family that have really made my success possible and we always support each other. Yet I would love someone who is invested in my business to share things with on a daily basis.
5) What has been your greatest victory? When I started my business I would stand up and do the “Rocky” dance when I got a booking and saw each engagement as a victory. Now, though I have been on TV many times and quoted weekly in national publications, my greatest victory happens each time an audience member calls or sends an email that a course I taught or a speech I gave motivated them to a positive change in their life. It means so much to me. I feel so blessed to get to do what I love to do and knowing I have a small part in helping people is awesome.
6) What advice would you give to other women who are thinking of starting their own companies? Have a year of income in the bank that is not a loan. Take a negotiation and sale class. Create a business plan and budget and post it in the office. Set profit goals for each month and then put a calendar on the wall and mark you income and outflows for the month so you actually see them. That monthly goal can be very motivating. And most importantly, surround yourself with team mates, family and friends that you love and give to and who support your vision and remember love is always more important than the bottom line. Your job won’t sit and cuddle on the couch with you.
1) How long have you been in business? I have been a professional speaker and body language expert since 1982
2) What made you decide to launch your own company? Actually people in my audiences said I should start my own speaking company.
3) Are there any women in business who you admire? And why? Some I admire for their business acumen. It is harder to find successful women business owners who are not stressed and have a balanced happy life. I know a women business owner who have great business success, or have a great family lives having both is difficult. It has taken me years to achieve a balanced happy life and I am so grateful to have it.
4) What have been the greatest challenges that you have faced? Living with economic uncertainty has been my greatest challenge. Also, I can be creative, and disciplined and motivate myself, but sometimes I would like a business partner to bounce ideas off of or to say, “Tomorrow will be great!” I have an awesome assistant, fellow speakers and entrepreneurial friends, and family that have really made my success possible and we always support each other. Yet I would love someone who is invested in my business to share things with on a daily basis.
5) What has been your greatest victory? When I started my business I would stand up and do the “Rocky” dance when I got a booking and saw each engagement as a victory. Now, though I have been on TV many times and quoted weekly in national publications, my greatest victory happens each time an audience member calls or sends an email that a course I taught or a speech I gave motivated them to a positive change in their life. It means so much to me. I feel so blessed to get to do what I love to do and knowing I have a small part in helping people is awesome.
6) What advice would you give to other women who are thinking of starting their own companies? Have a year of income in the bank that is not a loan. Take a negotiation and sale class. Create a business plan and budget and post it in the office. Set profit goals for each month and then put a calendar on the wall and mark you income and outflows for the month so you actually see them. That monthly goal can be very motivating. And most importantly, surround yourself with team mates, family and friends that you love and give to and who support your vision and remember love is always more important than the bottom line. Your job won’t sit and cuddle on the couch with you.
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