Body Language Lady Weight loss tips

I was skinny most of my life then I started gaining wieght. Finally I figured out how to stay skinny.  I went from a size six  ( yes that is still small but big for me to a size 0 in few months.) That was almost 30 pounds in weight loss. People ask me how I lost the weight. My lament that skinny is new pretty. (I have a post.) I was actually shocked at how many strangers responded to me so differently when I lost the weight. Goodness, even my friends kept saying how much better I looked and they loved me! I have kept most of the weight off. (If you want to know the particulars I am now between a size two and size four depending on the designer.)

The photo on the right with me in the red sweater was taken three years ago the one on the left was taken recently. Yep, I don't think I look that different. People still ask me how I lost the pounds and keep the weight off. It is not easy. After much peer pressure I promised some friends at a party last Friday night that I would blog my diet tips. I don't think it is anything new. But they wanted it in print. Though, I feel so silly saying what I do "out loud."
I am a professional speaker and a body language expert I have known for years that your appearance is important. However, I assumed with each year of age everyone gained weight. So I just put on the pounds. I have been traveling to give speeches and workshops on body language for many years so I spend a good bit of time on the road. I want to say again, I have to work really hard to keep the weight I lost off.

Here are my tips to keep weight off.
The first and most important thing is I walk every single day.
1. If I am home in Atlanta I walk with my dog Bo. We are lucky to live near a park and long walking trail.
I hate to exercise Bo and I meet so many people and dogs on the trail that I see it as a friendly visit rather than a sweatathon. We love to form our Pet Parent dog first impressions with each other. Bo, of course, is a great reader of people body language. If there is a treadmill in a hotel I get on it with the days paper. I look for stories to tie to the content of my speeches, but truly the reading distracts me from the fact that I am sweating. Pure exercise is so boring to me. I love to be "in the moment" but if that moment involves a noisy treadmill I want a distraction.
2. One thing I do seems highly unusual to other people. When I get to airport I put on my walking shoes take the handle of my wheeled briefcase and get in about 30 minutes walking up and down the concourses. People sitting in their seats at the gates stare at me, security has stopped me, but by the time I get on my flight I am refreshed and I have managed to avoid the airport junk food.
3. When I am home I walk every day for 45 minutes and while I am walking I enjoy the woods and my dogs wagging tale. To keep me going at the end of the walk I catch up on my calls to friends and family. They all tease me that I am always panting and breathless when I talk to them.
4. My rule in my home office is too keeping moving while I am on the phone with personal calls. I put on my headset and walk up and down the stairs, but away laundry, unload the dishwasher, or simply walk from room to room. I am mindful and present with my phone partner and let my body move with the beat our talking.
5. Nights are my difficult time; At home I will take a walk at night if I feel hungry. In hotels I read. You can’t eat and read a book. And watching TV seems to make me hungry.
6. When I am out of town I have trail mix to keep from ordering dessert from room service.
At home I have the usual cut up vegetable to crunch on, but my savior is plain Greek yogurt with a spoonful of peanut butter or walnuts or berries.
That's it. 

Bad Breath and body language. How and why people respond the way they do.

If your on this site for the first time please check out my speaking website at www.PattiWood.net
You’re at your holiday office party standing near the punch bowl, your boss leans towards you to say hello then crinkles his nose and steps back abruptly ending the conversation. What did you do? You’re dressed in your best clothes, heck you took a shower and put on your cologne and you’re smiling even though you have heard Santa baby played four times tonight. You might think you’re doing everything right that you’re oh so sweet but if your breath is sour it will send a primal message for others to retreat that overrides anything we say. We are often unaware of are own nonverbal communication. If you have Bad breath it may be invisible to you but, its effect isn’t. It can make people lean away, step back, freeze or hold their body stiffly, bring the corners of their mouth down or simply not want to be with you. And they may not only back off that one time. Here is scarier information. Since our sense of smell is our strongest link to memory people may remember you not as that clever guy who talked about movie or but as the guy with the bad breath
In other countries doctors smell the breath of their patients to for signs of their ailment. At a primal level bad breath, communicates that you are “sick.” And people respond by withdrawing.
My brother in law is an Endodontist. That is the doctor that does root canals. He taught his children to floss well with the admonition that it not only would save their teeth from decay, but that it would also be help prevent bad breath.
It’s funny, but I always floss when I get ready for date. Why wear lipstick to make your lips kissable if someone is not going to want to get close enough to kiss you? There are long lists of things to do to prevent bad breath from eating lots of fruits and veggies to brushing the backside of your teeth and the top of your tongue. There are lots of remedies if you think you have bad breath, from eating parsley to gargling. Make sure if you have bad breath that it is not a sign of illness. I’ve been the National spokes person for the Natural Dentist a line of dental care products and done enormous research on smiling and the effect of dental health and how people respond to others. Don’t forget the silent message of good breath.
If you use this information in any document, video or audio production please attribute the content to Patti Wood, MA, CSP

Harvey Milk, Sean Penn, body language

If your just reading my blog for the first time please know that you can find entry's here on just about every aspect of body language. If you sign up for my newsletter on my website. www.Pattiwood.net you will get my monthly articles and news of my TV appearance's as well.
Last night my friends, Ellen, Judith and I went to see the new Sean Penn movie about Harvey Milk. It was so well done and so moving that the audience clapped at the end. It was a difficult movie to watch at times. I love movies and movies that make us socially conscious are so rare. This movie might not align with your feelings about the rights of gays, but I challenge you even if you choose not to see the movie to at least examine Harvey rights human rights work. Since this is a body language blog I could also recommend the movie for the extraordinary Oscar worthy performance of Sean Penn. Again the movie may be difficult to watch, but it can move you to think.
Personally, this movie caused me to reflect on my friend Roy and how much his life changed when he was fully “out.” How much joy and freedom he felt at being all Roy all the time. He was so happy being fully himself. People like Harvey Milk made that freedom possible, loving Roy so much I am so grateful for that. I am crying as I write this, because the movie made me feel for all those people living in secret. How horrible to live a half life, how hard to hide a part of yourself whenever you are in public. Those of us that don’t have to do that have no idea how hard that must be for gay people. To have to “act” and be aware of you body language and what you say at work, at a store, at a restaurant.
I remember back in the eighties being in Piedmont Park with a group of friends, all gay men. I was walking with my friend John. At that time he had been with his partner 6 years. (John is still with him over 20 years later as a matter of fact.) John noticed a straight couple holding hands and he whispered to me sadly, “I would love to be able to walk in this park holding hands with my love.” I have a photo from that day. It’s me and a group of some of the guys standing in a fountain with our arms around each other smiling. We made a joke of the movie, ‘Three Coins in a fountain” and called the photo “a blonde and five queers in a fountain.” Except for John, all the men in the photo died of AIDS, including my best friend Roy.
Roy was 29 when he died.

The movie also made me recall what happened with the ignorance and prejudice against gays in the fight against AIDs. There were so many needless delays in the fight against the disease. How horrific that foolish belief that it was only affecting Gay people, how insane notion that it was a punishment for them, that they deserved it. It allowed people to ignore it. It gave them permission to think it wouldn’t effect them so they didn’t have to take action. We forget we are all equal that we are all connected to each other. We must remember we are on a very small planet.
There is scene in the movie where someone tells Milk. “I know what you are against, but what are you for?” So I ask you, my dear readers “What are you for?”
As the movie ended I wept for the loss of Harvey Milk. I wondered if Harvey Milk, who was so passionate about Gay rights, so passionate about human rights had lived would he have helped the US government take action, to give money to fight AIDS more quickly? Most people don’t know that the government original plan was to corral all the people with AIDs into camps. Yes, camps. Perhaps they felt that they could get away with it because no one would stop the government from taking gay people out their homes and hospitals to isolate them.
The movie reminds us that one person can make a difference. It made me see that loss of one person who can make a difference and does not have the opportunity to keep working is tragic. Watch the movie and let me know what you thought of it.
And while you’re at it watch the old black and white classic, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” It reminds all of us that we make a difference through are actions every day. If you watch that movie make sure you notice the body language in the telephone scene with Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed. It is one of my favorite movie scenes of all time.

12 body language tricks for great first impressions for women working internationally.

I was asked today by a journalist for my for 10 body language “tricks” for good first impressions for business woman for an issue of Harper’s Bazaar Dubai. This has been one of my favorite research areas for many years and certainly one of my audience's favorites so here are my top 12.

1. Make palm to palm contact. The single most important part of the international business handshake is making palm to palm contact.
2. The palm of the hand shows you’re willing to be honest and that you come to business meeting “unarmed”
3. Start early. Men are not always sure whether to shake hands and how to shake hands or greet women, especially in a mixed culture setting so let your body language show what you want. At fifteen feet flash up your eyebrows to show you see them.
4. Then smile to show you’re friendly. The smile is the single most important nonverbal cue to show friendliness. It is actually able to be recognized from 300 feet away and a true wide smile is one of the few cues that have the same meaning in all cultures.
5. Put out your hand at 6 to four feet away from the person you want to greet so they know you want to shake hands. If you prefer not to approach with your hands at your side and your left side slightly in front of you as you meet.
6. People can form a first impression in less than a fortieth of a second and may be deciding what they think about you before you begin to speak so if you know you are about to greet someone important make sure you posture is “up” make sure your head is up and above your shoulders. If you are seated rise to greet others so that your are on an equal plane. (Unless you are eating. You shouldn't’t go up to shake hands with someone who is eating, nor should you have to shake hands when someone approaches you when you are eating. )
   Make sure your posture is “open” that is, and your arms are not held or folded in front of your heart. That communicates that you may be afraid or lack confidence.
   Animate your voice. Make sure it has the appropriate energy to show you are pleased and happy to meet someone.
   Men prefer to talk face to face standing and side to side or catty corner sitting. Choose to stand or sit to make a man comfortable and he is more likely to have a favorable impression of you.
   Remove your bracelets from your right hand if you choose to shake hands in a business setting as they send a first impression, “I am a woman” rather than, “I am a smart impressive person.”
   A first impression is formed very quickly, but there is also a "recency effect". People remember the LAST thing you say or do. It is especially critical in an initial interaction. Make sure you end the conversation with appropriate eye contact. Think about the other person, make a real connection with them, smile softly and make sure that if you leave with a closing statement such as, “It was a pleasure meeting you.” That your voice is expressive and sincere. Think and feel the statement as your say it rather that say it automatically.
   We often are thinking of ourselves, how we look, in an initial interaction. The big secret is to focus on the other person. Make it your job and your pleasure to make them feel comfortable and you will definitely make a great first impression!
   
   Written by Patti Wood MA, CSP.

Watch Bush's body language as he misquotes during his speeches

Watch Bush's body language as he makes various mistakes in several presidential speeches. In the first two he tries to search for the right phrase by moving his hands. This is actually and effective tool for retrieving files in your brain. But unfortunately it doesn't work for him so he smiles his little boy smile. In many of the other clips he doesn't even seem to notice his mistake! Watch talented new anchors. If they make a mistake they quickly say a transition word such as, "rather" then correct themselves and keep going without a pause. Funny. If I had been hired as his speech/media coach I would have taught him that bridging technique in a our first coaching session. Enjoy and laugh out loud!

Bush body language when he makes speaking errors

Thursday Body Language Expert Blog. Voices

Last night I watched a special on Alistair Cook. You might know him as the man who hosted introduced Masterpiece Theater for 22 years. He also had a weekly broadcast called, "Letter From America" for over 58 years. He would sit at his window overlooking Central Park and write about America. As I watched the show I realized in many ways he was one of the first pod casters/bloggers. He observed what was happening in the world and talked about it each week. People would send him letters. Some of them addressed simply Alistair Cook in the apartment that overlooks Central Park, New York. He had a blog following.
He and his wife were great friends with Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall and Bacall remarked in the special about Alistair's unique voice. I have blogged a lot about voices. His was quite remarkable. Raised in Blackpool he latter went to one of the colleges at Cambridge and developed what we call in the states and ivy league voice. Sophisticated and some what haughty he sounded like he knew everything about everything and was excited to share it with you. A fascinating man. Think about voices today. Does your voice sound knowledgeable? Does it sound sophisticated? Does it sound warm?

Tom and Kate's Body Language...

Check out my recent read on Tom Cruise and his wife Katie Holmes' body language with US Weekly...
http://www.usmagazine.com/photos/happy-2nd-anniversary-tomkat

The History Channel Presents "The Secrets of Body Language" - See Patti's Feature in This Compelling Program!

Patti Wood is on a History Channel special this month entitled, “The Secrets of Body Language”
She is one of the leading experts in Nonverbal Communication in the world who were interviewed about how to read body language and paralanguage (voice.)

The next airing of the History Channel body language special will be this Saturday, October 18, 2008 at 5:00 EST.

If you would like to contact Patti about speaking or coaching please go to her website for contact information at http://www.pattiwood.net/

Body Language Observations of the 2nd Presidential Candidates Debate - McCain vs. Obama October 08

The “fighting rules” were strict, allowing little interaction.

The candidates had to stay six feet apart, in their designated area.
******* (I have listed some of the debate rules at the bottom of the article).
Thank goodness there were no lecterns, just chairs upon which to perch while the other was speaking. This way, we could see more of the candidate’s bodies despite the fact that the other debating rules meant there was little engagement with each other. They would have very little interpersonal debate, but rather give “short speeches” in response to questions asked.

Obama came onto the stage in a long relaxed stroll. In this debate Obama was respectful and McCain did not have to tap him to get him to shake hands. They shook hands each grasping the other’s elbow in the classic politician’s handshake showing power and control.McCain had more energy than I had ever seen him have. His voice tone and energy was often positive and hopeful. He was coached well to be upbeat in the beginning of the debate but, overused that “we can do it”, “we are Americans” hopefulness later in the debate when he should have been mad at Obama for aligning him with Bush and calling him on it.

At the beginning of the debates Obama was calm, blank eyed and seemed more coached and less passionate and at times although he kept gesturing, his eyes seemed dead eyed. . While Obama spoke McCain paced the stage a bit nervously.McCain needed to be strong in this debate, show more energy confidence and power than Obama. Obama needed to be more cool, collected and in control. McCain showed more energy but overall did not seem presidential. He has more knowledge but his energy was wasted in attacks, verbal and nonverbal. He walked toward towards Obama as he attacked, but then would step back. Neither move showing strength. He often showed snarly smirking facial expressions as he walked toward Obama and pointed at him in little jabs. While discussing the Bush/Cheney-backed energy bill "stuffed full" of goodies for the oil companies. "Know who voted for it? That one," he says, not looking at Obama. "Know who voted against it? I did..." This was the biggest nonverbal memorable moment in the debate and was all negative for McCain. A big mistake.

Powerful debaters let attackers come to them and smile or act bored. Obama smiled as if McCain's attack didn’t mean a thing. McCain needed to show his confidence and superior experience knowledge but with the exception of a few questions, like what we should do about Russia, his true deep knowledge was not shown.

Obama attacked McCain during the debates by standing near his chair or walking forward using his hand to make fists. He didn’t look at him, and that worked. I didn’t like any of the attacks but Obama’s method of attack worked.
While McCain talked and Obama waited and listen for his next question, Obama sat on his stool with one leg down up with his foot resting on the bar with his legs spread open to take a posture of “cool power.”
I could almost see a black and white photo of him in that same pose on the cover of a jazz CD. This was not the same pausing, awkward Obama. His coaching between the debates was clear. Answer the questions quickly and strongly. Often Obama leapt out of the chair and strode toward Moderator Brokaw as he answered Brokaw's question. Obama loves a podium. He was more awkward in the town hall setting. He had a hard time at first approaching the audience and individual questioners. But, gained confidence later and scribbled notes more frequently. His notebook spilling over the small table.With the physical; contrast one tall and slender, the other short and older; their physical differences seemed more pronounced as they walked on the stage in this setting.

Remember, we tend to choose the winning candidate in a debate seconds after it begins. Typically, we make these choices based on the charismatic factors of Likeability, attractiveness and level of dominance. Though McCain was more comfortable in the town hall format and sincerely engaged the people and talked to the questioners in an authentically warm way, his gestures showed up too late. Obama had it made before he opened his mouth.More notes to come later today. In the meantime, check out this story with me and several other experts:http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/asection/la-na-debateside8-2008oct08,0,4755608.story********The format: Under the terms of a 31-page Memorandum of Understanding, Candidates must stay in their designated areas. The NBC host Tom Brokaw will moderate, picking questions from a pool 150 undecided voters from the Nashville area, pre-selected by Gallup so that they're demographically representative. The live questioners will ask their questions directly, and Brokaw will intersperse them with selections from a reported six million others received by email. Cameras aren't allowed to show the reactions of the live questioners -- just their initial questions. Tom Brokaw will identify a person and call on them; the questioner will ask the question, and then be seated. The candidate to whom the question was posed will have two minutes to respond, and then the other candidate will have two minutes. Then there'll be one minute of open discussion.

Vice Presidential Debates--Palin and Biden’s Body Language

My Ramblings on Body Language:

The non interaction rule set by McCain’s team worked to Biden’s benefit. His usual over the top anger and ranting was much more restrained. Yes, Biden was angry. Yes, he pointed and used one handed and two handed chopping motions to make his points, but this time his anger made Biden appear earnest and sincere.

Yes, he got angry at Palin very early in the debate and he occasionally pointed his finger at her and many times he jumped in to say she was wrong before he was called on. Still, he could have been more attacking and he would have looked far worse.

Palin started with a smile and kept a smile on for most of the debate. Click here to hear my comments on the O'reilly Factor: http://www.pattiwood.net or read the interview below.

Palin walks the “B line” well.
What is the B line?
Well, women have to walk a line between being too feminine and being perceived as weak or going too far to the other side of the line and being perceived as a B***ch. Powerful women have the hardest time with it. Hilary Clinton didn’t have a problem choosing. She stayed strong and in doing so came across too far on the “B side”.

Palin wants to be more feminine so she uses her beautiful beauty queen smile to mask her anger. At times, especially near the end of the debate, the smile became a “snarl” and made her look condescending. We don’t like “masking smiles” on powerful people.

Palin did a little blinking when she started but not the highly nervous 50 to 60 blinks per minute or the 80 blinks per minute often called the “Nixon effect”. She went to her strength, her down home folksy manner of delivery. Her little "betcha’s" and other contractions were a little much when she talked about the big issues, but overall they evoked a “ Reaganistic” warmth and the approval ratings soared. Tune in for more as I talk about Palin’s winks and Biden's head tilts later...


To view my ABC News article and more on this subject visit my site.

Interview with Hillary Reynolds of Her Way Up...

"Her Way Up" is a soon-to-be launched online community for businesswomen. We are currently looking for women business owners (all industries) to profile. -Hillary Reynolds

1) How long have you been in business? I have been a professional speaker and body language expert since 1982

2) What made you decide to launch your own company? Actually people in my audiences said I should start my own speaking company.

3) Are there any women in business who you admire? And why? Some I admire for their business acumen. It is harder to find successful women business owners who are not stressed and have a balanced happy life. I know a women business owner who have great business success, or have a great family lives having both is difficult. It has taken me years to achieve a balanced happy life and I am so grateful to have it.

4) What have been the greatest challenges that you have faced? Living with economic uncertainty has been my greatest challenge. Also, I can be creative, and disciplined and motivate myself, but sometimes I would like a business partner to bounce ideas off of or to say, “Tomorrow will be great!” I have an awesome assistant, fellow speakers and entrepreneurial friends, and family that have really made my success possible and we always support each other. Yet I would love someone who is invested in my business to share things with on a daily basis.
5) What has been your greatest victory? When I started my business I would stand up and do the “Rocky” dance when I got a booking and saw each engagement as a victory. Now, though I have been on TV many times and quoted weekly in national publications, my greatest victory happens each time an audience member calls or sends an email that a course I taught or a speech I gave motivated them to a positive change in their life. It means so much to me. I feel so blessed to get to do what I love to do and knowing I have a small part in helping people is awesome.

6) What advice would you give to other women who are thinking of starting their own companies? Have a year of income in the bank that is not a loan. Take a negotiation and sale class. Create a business plan and budget and post it in the office. Set profit goals for each month and then put a calendar on the wall and mark you income and outflows for the month so you actually see them. That monthly goal can be very motivating. And most importantly, surround yourself with team mates, family and friends that you love and give to and who support your vision and remember love is always more important than the bottom line. Your job won’t sit and cuddle on the couch with you.

Media Frenzy....

In the last month I have done a weekly “Will they last?” piece for OK! Magazine, Three Cosomo interviews, As well as interviews for Men’s Health, Esquire, Glamour, AOL, Fox News, ABC news, Womens world, Sugur (UK publication), Life and Style weekly, The Sun (Canadian publication), America’s Best, and many more TV, print and online publications and radio interviews. Do to my busy speaking schedule I have also had to turn down requests for Larry King Live, The Big Idea, Fox News, and Access Hollywood. I look forward to reading the candidates more as the election draws closer.

Times Union Blog...

Take a look at my comments in this article by a fellow blogger:
http://blogs.timesunion.com/kristi/?p=143

Body Language Notes to be Featured in Cosmo...

Here are some notes from this months Cosmo interview:

Hed
What His Touches Can Tell You

Dek
It’s no secret that guys aren’t big on talking. Luckily, their bodies communicate for them—if you know how to read the signs.

The lean-in from the side
You may notice this gesture when you’re sitting next to each other at the dinner table or at a bar. It’s subtle and may seem like an accident (for example, you brush shoulders sharing a menu or your knees bump), but may actually calculated contact to gauge your interest. If a guy is on the shy side, this approach seems like a “safe” way to see how you react–if you’re not into it, he won’t lose face if you recoil.

The playful punch.
This grade school move is what guys revert to when they like you but have no clue how to verbalize it (or they’re too nervous to). Men also relate to one another by rough housing, so your date may be trying to establish a bond. A punch between guys in a nonsexual way to say, “We are buddies” so for men it seems a sage way to say they like you.

The forearm graze.
If a man briefly places his touches you on your forearm as he is talking he may be reaching out to make sure he has your attention. He may be worried you’re losing interest and he’s trying to bring you back into the moment. If he touches you on the forearm while your talking it is more likely a sign of interest in you and what you have to say.

The hand on the back.
A guy who gently places his palm on your lower back (to guide you through a crowd, for example) is on his best behavior. He’s trying to make a good impression and let you know that he’s a gentleman. [Patti – this is from another expert, whom we cite below]

Notice how and where he places his hand. Is he gentle rather than possessivlivly gripping your back ? Where does he place his hand, in the sweet spot in the center of the back or lower. If his hand creeps lower, he may be testing the waters to see how far physically you’ll let him go.

Sources: Patti Wood, body language expert and author of Success Signals; Jan Hargrave, body language consultant and author of Let Me See Your Body Talk

Mens Health - Great Eye Contact Question...

I recently helped to answer a question on Mens Health - Maybe you can benefit from my answer...

Question: I struggle to maintain eye contact. Can you help? Matt, Boston, MA

Answer: First, understand why you're loathe to lock eyes. "When you feel dominated, anxious, or shy, you look away as an attempt to regain control, disengage, and limit how much information you take in," says John Dovidio, Ph.D., a psychology professor at Yale University. So before any important conversation, make a conscious effort to rein in your addled emotions. If you're still struggling with eye contact, take the advice of body-language expert Patti Wood, M.A., and "split your attention among the person's mouth, eyes, and cheeks." This makes wandering eyes less obvious. And don't stop trying: University of Colorado researchers found that meeting a person's gaze makes you seem powerful and credible.