Body Language and Video Conferancing

I was asked today to consult with a company that does video conferencing and I sent a shout out to some colleagues that do them often. My friend Michael who lives in Paris sent me this short funny video that emphasizes the importance of handshakes.
FIRST WATCH THIS VIDEO!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aO5sD8Y69nU

Here is a recent article I wrote for my newsletter on the value of face to face communication.

Texting vs Face to Face Interaction
Since I opened my first bank account at the age of eleven, I have loved to go into my bank and make my deposits and withdrawals. I love the face-to-face interaction, I still do not use bank machines, I want a chance to share a smile not just my bank account number. For over 20 years, I knew all the cashiers’ at my bank by name and they knew mine. When I came in we would visit for a minute would ask me how my last trip was, and I would ask about their day and their family. Now that my bank has been bought and sold, a few times I know only know one teller by name and she always smiles and I smile back and we laugh about the fact that the two of us are always in a good mood. It makes my day.
I am a body language expert. Human interaction feeds us. It is sustenance. The smile, the eye contact of recognition, the light touch of hands across the counter, insures us we are seen, are known, that we exists. Each face-to-face interaction makes our lives rich. It also feeds the brain. If you have been reading my blogs or getting my newsletter, you know that I love neuroscience and often talk about the brain body connection. Recently I found a great article on the research on face-to-face interaction of Dr. Thomas Lewis at Headrush@typeface.com
Dr. Lewis discovered that the immediate response and clear facial feedback in interaction is crucial. In his still-face effect experiments he showed that if mothers maintain a still face and don’t show an immediate facial feedback response to their babies that the infants become immediately distressed. Even a small delay in the response in the feedback/interaction/responsiveness distressed the babies. The article went on to share that Dr. Lewis said that even as adults, we have the same neurochemistry. We need immediate facial feedback. So how does this affect our texting, twittering, face book world? Well the article went on to say that, “….no matter how much we practice communicating through text, the brain still finds it stressful… “It’s a problem because we do not get that immediate facial feedback. Of course, shy people find texting less stressful. (That would be introverts on the Myers Briggs personality inventory or Get it Rights and Get Alongs on the DiSC link here to my articles on that) Dr. Lewis said that in the brains of shy people a stranger’s face triggers a fear or anxiety response in the amygdale. As you have experienced reading 355 emails each day a strangers, text doesn’t cause fear. Maybe frustrations when you reach email 200 but not fear. Of course, you can always video chat where you get all those wonderful nonverbal cues, the facial expression and the voice/paralanguage, but he cautions it still can cause feedback/interaction AND you don’t get real time responsiveness. So what does that mean? Well something, you know I will always recommend. Get out of the care go into the bank and say Hi. It is a great way to feed your brain and not a bad way to feed your life.

Body Language and Feeling Shy

I was working with a client this afternoon that is extremely shy. She is working on becoming more confident. She was surprised to learn that I use to have extreme social anxiety around strangers. Today I shared with her body language tools to appear and feel calmer. I will be sharing some of those tools at the end of the day. In the meantime here are some great questions from an article on Selfgrowth.com Scroll down and answer the questions and let me know what you feel about your own fear. Links to the author of the article are below. www.PattiWood.net


"We will never be happy to feel fear -- it is fear after all. But fear is one of many signals that can help us on our path, when we do not allow it to manage our path. Where is fear managing your life today? Here are some questions to help you shine light on your fears. With each new awareness comes new power."

"* What fear reoccurs frequently in your life?
* How is this fear holding you back in your life right now? (The more specific you are, the more helpful it will be.)
* If you don't let this fear stop you this time, how will you benefit?
* Will you manage your life today, or will fear? (Hint: Choose you!)"


About the Author:

Arleen Hannich, MA, is a Spiritual Facilitator. She offers Divine Presence, Inspirational Messages from Spirit, and the Oneness Blessing to help individuals lead more authentic, joyful lives. For more information, visit her website at http://www.arleenhannich.com or contact her at AHannich@Bellsouth.net

Check out the Experts page for Arleen Hannich, the SelfGrowth.com Official Guide to Self Realization.

Meaning of the hands hidden under the legs

I just finished a coaching session with one of my body language coaching clients and he asked me about a particular gesture cluster. He sat with his legs crossed and put out both of his hands with the palms down and then wrapped the top of one hand under inside his leg on the right and the top of his other hand inside his leg on the left. I said, "If a woman suddenly went to that position I would read it as her feeling uncomfortable sexually. Perhaps a man is coming on to strong or is teasing with her sexually or she feels sexually threatened by the situation. It would be unusual for a man to do it, but if a man did it would indicate his "manhood" was threaten. He would be indicating that he feels threatened an vulnerable at a deep level. A similar gesture is made when someone stands with their hands in front of their private parts in what is commonly referred to as the fig leaf posture.

G2 summit

A few weekes ago the BBC sent me photos of the G2 summit I will be reading them at a later date.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7978171.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_depth/business/2009/g20/7978258.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7977867

Good Monday Morning

I was speaking in Chicago over the weekend. I will be checkin in latter with my blog.

Body Langauge Advice Tips for Looking Younger

Best Body Language Tips For Looking Younger

Tips for men and women so you can look younger

1. Think "lift" and "up". Move upwards. Lift your head and shoulders upwards. Gesture upwards. Smile so the corners of your mouth go up. Look in the mirror at your normal face when it is a rest and see if your eyes or corners of your mouth go down and see what happens when you lift them up. If you wear anything shirt with a collar make sure they are crisp and seem to lift up creating a lift around your face. If a shirt collar is old or not pressed it will lay to flat and give a down impression to your face and even your shoulder line. Make sure your shirt arms fall crisp and tight at the shoulders. Choose not to wear any shirt or sweater style with off the shoulder arm holes as they only look good on teenagers and bring the visual silhouette down. Making you look stoop shouldered and dowdy.
2. If you need to wear glasses get your glasses tightened regularly. Glasses that come down on your nose, even a little bit make you look much older. Keep your glasses tightened and high on your face. Again think up.
3. When you walk into a room, be it for a social gathering, interview or a meeting hold your shoulders back and head up and sit up.
4. Make sure you make eye contact right away smile and put out your hand for a hand shake with extra energy. (I have done several years of research on handshakes. Link to my handshake article on my website)
5. As you share your ideas and information make sure your voice shows your energy and enthusiasm and hold the strength and volume of your voice all the way to the end of a sentence. As we age our vocal chords show their wear and our voices change and tend to sound rougher and we tend to lose volume at the end or sentences forcing people to not feel with are speaking with conviction and sometimes even saying, “excuse me I didn’t hear you.”
6. Get your hearing and eyesight checked professionally. Do it now.
7. For men and woman make sure everything you wear is crisply pressed, no wrinkles no "wear" on your shoes or belts. You have to make sure your clothes and accessories don’t symbolically say you are old, used or tired.
8. Make sure you are fashion current in colors style and jewelry including, if you wear one, your watch. Now even wearing a watch can age you as many younger people just use their cell phone instead of wearing what they perceive as an old antique device we call a watch.If you’re not sure what’s current in professional clothing read a style magazine and go to a high end store like Nordstrom’s you don't have to purchase it there simply look to see what is current in style then go buy the brand item at TJMAX, or Marshalls or DSW Shoes.
9. It seems basic, but be careful how you sit in a chair. Research says that women perch, sitting on the edge of their seats, arching their backs, while men tend to slouch, relying more on the backrest. So as woman, too look more confident and powerful, don’t perch the entire time.. Sit back in the chair and use lots of space and put you arms on the arm rest. Men don’t slouch the whole time; you may look lazy rather than vital and energetic. Sit forward slowly as you share certain information about which you are confident.

For Women

1. If you can avoid using one, don’t carry a purse. It not only sends a strong female signal it gives you one more thing to worry about and fuss over. When woman sit down they usually have over 16 separate movements. Men have three and look much more together and organized. If you must carry something carry a folder or hip briefcase.
2. Make up for Woman. Make sure you do wear make-up, but make it light. I love Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer. If you wear eye shadow take your finger and lay it on the outside of eye and sweep any shadow up and out. If you wear eyeliner make sure it goes up slightly and the corner of your eye. When you put on blush make sure to use it sparingly and make it go up around your eyes never down. I suggest a cream blush as the new makeup style is dewy not dry and powdered. Be very careful of lipstick I draw around the edge with a very soft Estee Lauder lipstick pencil press my lips together and blend very well so it covers my entire lip and then I put on a light clear pink gloss. If I need all day coverage for my lipstick I use Max Factor Color Stay in a rose shade and put gloss on throughout the day. Don’t wear eyeliner on your bottom lip and don’t use mascara there it pulls the eye down and makes it look tired and older.
3. Wear the best underwear and support garments that you can afford. Nordstrom's has a wonderfully educated staff. I love Yummy Tummy (may be branded as Yummy Life) Camisoles. They are extremely comfortable and get you down at least one if not two sizes. They are so easy to wear you forget you have them on. Spanx work too, and thank goodness they are improving their garments comfort.
4. I know beige and gray and cream are rich looking colors, but they can wash you out and age you. Put nice flattering color around your face hot pink, pink peach, salmon, cobalt blue whatever makes your skin glow and you makes you feel good.

Who is most accurate at detecting lies?

In a previous post I shared with you that to increase your ability to detect deceit you needed to be accurate in detecting honesty. Another way to increase your lie detection ability is to receive adequate feedback on your reads. So who gets the most feedback? One of the groups who gets the most feedback about their reads are prisoners. They must read their fellow inmates communications accurately in order to survive and thrive. Research comparing
prisoners, police detectives, patrol police officers, prison guards, customs officers, and college students showed that prisoners where the most accurate at detecting deceit. Previous studies, mainly conducted with college students as subjects, showed that people have some incorrect beliefs about behavioral clues to deception. In this research study it was hypothesized that prisoners would have the best notion about clues of deception, due to the fact that they receive the most adequate feedback about successful deception strategies. The results supported this hypothesis.

Detecting Deception is More Than Lies

Those of you that follow my blog know that I have been researching nonverbal cues of deception and training people on deception detection for many years. You may not know that my programs are actually teach people to distinguish truth tellers from someone who is lying. I also teach people how to build their personal credibility. Why do I train people to detect honesty in a deception detection course? Because the research deception detection indicates that you can train people to detect deception but unless you also train them to detect the truth they will end up with a deception bias . That bias acts in conjunction with other errors in detecting deception such as suspecting people of lying when they are merely nervous or reading normally introverted people as liars to increase the simply introverted that increase false deception detection judgments. Though some research shows the a deception bias increases ones ability to detect deception I believe that a balanced approach creates a higher degree of accuracy

How to Transcend the ‘Economy’ by Creating Your OWN Shatter-The-Myth Marketing

I have a huge recommendation for you...

I wanted to be sure to share with you an amazing entrepreneur and master coach – Heather Dominick – that has developed a radically effective process. It’s a step-by-step approach that’s propelling business owners to exceptional selling success.

At one point Heather was struggling with how to move prospects into profitable clients. Then from her own mistakes and pain she found how to combine her energy with practicality and her conversations went through the roof.

Now she teaches others this effective method so you enjoy every single time you connect with a prospect and easily move them into high-paying clients – no matter what (including the economy or any other sabotaging story).

I know you’ve heard the saying “teach a man to fish”. Heather’s approach is to teach you AND to GIVE you the fish.

In fact, I recently had the chance to hear one of Heather’s teleclasses and the material she covers in this class seemed like such a fit for you, my own clients, the she has agreed to do another teleconference call on the subject – just for you. The timing is perfect. And it’s FREE!

So click this link and sign-up for the free teleseminar she’ll be doing on this subject on Thursday, April 16th. It’s that easy.

Register for this call and tune in to what Heather has to say... I know you’ll agree her message is significant – especially now.

Your registration simply allows her to set up the right number of phone lines for the call so that all who are interested are actually able to get in. Thanks!

Couples and Sleep Positions

How do sleep positions offer a view into what's going on in the relationship?
What is so fascinating is that it can reveal things about the couple that people may not see if they watch the couple upright in the daytime. We are at our most vulnerable position in sleep. Woman you can fake a lot with a man but you can’t fake your sleep position. So how your body moves and joins shows your trust and connection. When looking at sleep positions you always want to take into consideration health issues like snoring that may not only make you want to move away from your partner in bed, they may make you want to leave the room! Also, realize there are no right ways or wrong ways to sleep with your sweetie. You are not being graded on your sleep positions and unless you are on a reality television show, we are not watching you sleep.
When an individual sleeps in the fetal position on your side curled up it shows an innocence and trust. British research says that 51 percent of women and sleep in this position. If they hug the pillow, they need a lot of love and what does it say about a couple if they spoon so both are in the curled up position? In the two spoons in a drawer position, couples sleep side-by-side with one partner's full front around the full back of the other partner. If the man is around the woman it shows that, he is comfortable being the protector in the relationship. If the woman is around the man, loosely it shows she is the protector but if she is wrapped around him tightly in a way that constricts his movements and he is arching or pulling away, she is showing in sleep that she is fearful of losing him. In the cradled spoon both partners are on their sides and one partner will be cradled to the chest of the other. Typically, the woman’s head is cradled into the man’s chest with the man’s arms wrapped around the woman. Again showing protectiveness but with more emphasis on the women letting go of a need to be dominant. Some woman may start in this position but move up in sleep to show their need to be on an equal level with their partner. On the other hand, they just might need air! (Smile)
Comfortable spooning is his is the most common position adopted by couples during the first few years of their relationship/marriage. If the spooning is comfortably given and equal, it shows sexuality and security in the relationship. One partner is saying with their body, I can turn my back on you and know I am safe, you have my back and the other partner is saying I want to surround you and take you in. Since the full torso is making contact, it also shows a secure sexual relationship. This position has been shown to increase intimacy in couples and reduce the stress of both partners. Everybody Spoon!

Loose spooning where there is a little gap between the bodies, tends to come later in the relationship after a few years typically 5 to 6 but if the couple is still close they will touch hands, feet, or knees to stay connected.

V Hug occurs when couples may be back-to-back to create more independence, the upper bodies, legs, and feet are apart but the rear ends touch. So each partner forms a V. As long as their buttocks touch, they are staying connected and showing that their sexual interest is still present. They are already a confident couple just need space. This is a sleep position that can form when a couple has small children that cling to them during the day so in sleep they want to touch their partner intimately way but not model a child’s need to hold on.
The Honeymoon Hug occurs when couples just cannot get enough of each other they want to gaze into each other’s eyes even in sleep. They face each other and touch the front of their bodies their feet their legs their knees torso chests even one partner may even cradle the others face in their hands. This is a common position after couples first make love. In addition, is also seen in couples who are not married. If your partner hasn’t been facing you as they go to sleep and they start facing you, it indicates their need to connect, and be more intimate.
The Royal Hug- In the position the man lies on his back facing up. If anyone takes this position it indicates confidence and self-assurance symbolically the person is facing life. When you sleep like that with your partner, you’re showing your power and dominance in the relationship. If the female partner rests her head on, his shoulder and faces him in a fetal position she is showing she depends on and lets him be in charge. If she is rests her head but stretches out her body she depends on him but she wants to make decisions herself as well. If a woman head rests further down on the man’s chest rather than shoulder it shows she feels more comfortable with the man in charge. This is a common position for women to take when their husbands are much older. If the man has his hands on top of his head like a crown and/or the elbows out to the side in a cape, they are showing they think they are in charge. They are take charge enthusiastic and perhaps like to tell their partner The Leg or Feet Hug- This is a position where just the legs or feet of the couple touch. This position can be taken after years of marriage when the couple wants space but still wants to connect. Alternatively, can be a position couples take after a fight when they would normally have slept closer but their angry so they don’t go to the old position but they signal they will still love each other in the morning by touching the feet or legs. The feet are the most honest portion of the body, under the least conscious control, the furthest from the brain. I love that your mind is mad but your body says I still love you and I won’t kick you out of the bed.
Sleeping on your stomach temporarily typically shows you are anxious and need to protect the vulnerable front of your body. So watch if your partner suddenly changes to that position. A partner who turns away from their mate to sleep on their stomach can be communicating a lack of trust in their partner. Watch to see if your children switch to that position as well. Research shows that when someone who always sleeps on their stomach with their arms bent and hands up around the head in a crown in the crab position it shows they persistent goal oriented compulsive and stubborn.

The Cliffhanger is when both couples are opposite sides of the bed facing away from one another with no physical contact. This could be because each person needs a good night’s sleep and some external factor like snoring or menopausal night sweats make your partner an inferno or if it is a change from hug like sleep it can indicate a desire to be more independent or separate from or a desire to have a king size bed.
Always notice changes in sleep positions. If a partner is close for years and suddenly separate and there is not physical reason like you, started snoring you can reach out a hand or foot across the bed and see if they respond in kind or brings it up in conversation. “I loved it when you slept with your arms around me and I noticed you haven’t been what can we do to feel closer during the day so we feel comfortable being close at night?”

There are couples that our so interconnected that they go beyond spooning to a position I call, melding, where the couples wrap themselves around each other completely with legs and arms around each other. My sister and brother-in-law have always slept that way and they married a week after they graduated from college and have been married for40 years.

What does it say to your partner or about the relationship if the couples sleep away from one another, at the opposite sides of the bed? The body positions in sleep reflect the true relationship. Unless one partner snores or is in menopause or has some other physical issue (in which case would prevent them from getting into bed and cuddling and then separating in sleep.), sleep separation shows a desire to have a stronger sense of self and less dependence or interdependence on your partner.

What does it mean when couples don't sleep in the same room? Again, unless there is a physical reason it shows the need to be separate. I advise couples to go to bed together in one room at the same time and cuddle. If there are physical issues I recommend that they go to bed together for a little bit, cuddle and then go to separate rooms. Try to share the same bed a few mornings together too. Time spent side-by-side in an intimate space with one another is important. That situation creates a perfect place for self-disclosure and bonding that couples don’t want to miss. Men are more likely to self disclose when positioned side by side with someone. They can be defensive or closed when they sit across a table from you but get them lying side by side and they open up. Women choose the booth at the restaurant and want to talk over the dinner table they want to face a man to speak with him and watch his body language men want the front of their bodies their heart windows protected when they share their intimate thoughts and feelings. Think about how women who are driving look at the passenger to speak and men who are driving always look forward. So too get a man to share get in on a long car trip or in bed.

Research indicates, couples who fall asleep and wake up at the same time, the longevity of the marriage is enhanced. Studies also show - couples who got up and went to sleep at the same time are content in their relationship, while 30% of those with dissimilar sleep times complained of an unhappy union. This is not surprising, unless there is a health issue sleep patterns can be a passive aggressive way of communicating to your spouse. It can say, "I cannot depend on you." or "I don’t trust you." or "I want to leave space to be unfaithful to you." "I don't feel that close to you."
Here are my rough notes to a journalist from NEST magazine doing an article on sleep positions.

How do sleep positions of couples offer a view into what's going on in the relationship?

What does it say about a couple if they spoon? In the two spoons in a drawer position, couples sleep side-by-side with one partner's full front around the full back of the other partner. If the man is around the woman it shows that he is comfortable being the protector in the relationship. If the woman is around the man loosely it shows she is the protector but if she is wrapped around him tightly she is fearful of losing him. This is the most common position adopted by couples during the first few years of their relationship/marriage. If the spooning is comfortably given and equal, it shows security in the relationship. Since full torso is making contact it also shows a secure sexual relationship. This position has been shown to increase intimacy in couples and reduce the stress of both partners. Everybody Spoon!

Loose spooning where there is a little gap between the bodies, tends to come later in the relationship after a few years.

Later couples may be back-to-back to create more independence, but as long as their buttocks touch they are staying connected and showing their sexual interest is still present.
Their our couples that go beyond spooning to a position I call, melding, where the couples wrap themselves around each other completely with legs and arms around each other. My sister and brother-in-law have always slept that way and they married a week after they graduated from college and have been married for40 years.

What does it say to your partner or about the relationship if the couples sleeps away from one another, at the opposite sides of the bed? The body positions in sleep reflect the true relationship. Unless one partner snores or is in menopause or has some other physical issue (in which case would prevent them from getting into bed and cuddling and then separating in sleep.) sleep separation shows a desire to have a stronger sense of self and less dependence or interdependence on your partner.

What does it mean when couples don't sleep in the same room? Again, unless there is a physical reason it shows the need to be separate. I advise couples to go to bed together in one room at the same time and cuddle. If there are physical issues I recommend that they go to bed together for a little bit, cuddle and then go to separate rooms. Try to share the same bed a few mornings together too. Time spent side-by-side in an intimate space with one another is important. That situation creates a perfect place for self disclosure and bonding that couples don’t want to miss.

Research indicates, couples who fall asleep and wake up at the same time, the longevity of the marriage is enhanced. Studies also show - couples who got up and went to sleep at the same time are content in their relationship, while 30% of those with dissimilar sleep times complained of an unhappy union. This is not surprising, unless there is a health issue sleep patterns can be a passive aggressive way of communicating to your spouse. It can say, "I cannot depend on you." or "I don’t trust you." or "I want to leave space to be unfaithful to you." "I don't feel that close to you."

What your favorite snack food reveals about your personality

I am getting ready for a presentation in Chicago on DISC personalty type. I have researching and speaking on personality type for almost 30 years. GASP!
I did research on sneezing, smiling, and chewing and the DISC personality type as the National spokesperson for Benadryl, The Natural Dentist and Wrigley's gum respectively. ( my tests are on my website at PattiWood.net. Today, as I prepped for my speech, I went out to look for any new research on DISC and found a fun test that shows how your favorite snack food reveals your personality. The research for the test was done on 800 people a reasonable sample size but there where no details on how the research was done. In any case, check your very favorite snack food from the list of 10 snacks below then go to the link to find your results. Just pick one!

My favorite snack food it ....
___ Tortilla chips ___ Pretzels ___ Cheese curls ____Popcorn,

___Nuts ____Potato chips _____ Crackers ____Meat snacks (like beef jerky)

Excerpted from Alternative Medicine (May 2007), a trusted voice in the field of natural health; http://www.alternativemedicine.com/.
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September/October 2007 By Lisa Turner, from Alternative Medicine
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Dying for a doughnut? Pining for a pretzel? What you snack on reveals more than your food preferences, says Alan Hirsch, neurological director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago and author of What's Your Food Sign? (Stewart, Tabori, and Chang, 2006). Hirsch had 800 volunteers take personality tests and then asked them which of eight snacks they preferred. The results were astounding: Those who shared a particular personality type chose the same snack 95 percent of the time.
Yes, if we learn to view healthy food as a human right...
While linking personality type with a passion for popcorn might seem like a stretch, Hirsch says it makes sense biologically. "Food preferences reside in the olfactory lobe, the same part of the brain where the personality resides," he explains.
Here's the message in some popular munchies:
Tortilla chips. You're a perfectionist. You're successful and ambitious, and you like to plan ahead. You have a strong sense of social responsibility and abhor injustice.
Pretzels. You're the life of the party. You love novelty and can quickly become bored with routine. You tend to start new projects before completing existing ones.
Cheese curls. You have a high sense of morals and ethics and insist upon treating everyone fairly. You might seem uptight, but you're highly organized and methodical.
Popcorn. You're a take-charge type, but with a modest, low-key demeanor. Confident but reserved, you would make a large charitable donation without telling anyone.
Nuts. You're even-tempered, easy to get along with, and highly empathetic. Your easygoing, cooperative nature contributes to success at home and at work.
Potato chips. You're achievement-oriented, successful, and competitive. You're a natural leader but can be easily irritated with inconveniences like long lines and traffic jams.
Crackers. You're contemplative, thoughtful, and often a loner. You prefer private time and shy away from confrontation and arguments; you can't stand to hurt another person's feelings.
Meat snacks (like beef jerky). You're gregarious and generous, and you tend to be loyal to a fault. Says Hirsch, "If you want a true friend, pick a meat-snack lover."
Excerpted from Alternative Medicine (May 2007), a trusted voice in the field of natural health; http://www.alternativemedicine.com/.

I can see by your face you would be unfaithful.

Yes, you are actually able to tell if someone is likely to be unfaithful to you by looking at their faces. The study below shows that Men with Masculine faces and women with highly attractiveness are not only perceived as being more likely to be unfaithful but are more unfaithful. In addition, it shows that woman prefer more androgynous looking men because they are more likely to be faithful. That explains my teen age crushes on Davey Jone and David Cassidy.
Original Article
Facial correlates of sociosexuality
Lynda G. Boothroyda,b,⁎, Benedict C. Jonesa,c, D. Michael Burta,b,
Lisa M. DeBruinec, David I. Perretta
aSchool of Psychology, University of St Andrews, Fife, Scotland, UK
bDepartment of Psychology, University of Durham, Durham, England, UK
cSchool of Psychology, University of Aberdeen, Aberdeen, Scotland, UK
Initial receipt 14 August 2007; final revision received 28 December 2007
Abstract
Previous studies have documented variation in sexual behaviour between individuals leading to the notion of ‘restricted’ individuals
(i.e., people who prefer long-term relationships) and ‘unrestricted’ individuals (i.e., people who are open to short-term relationships). This
distinction is often referred to as sociosexual orientation. Observers have been previously found to distinguish sociosexuality from video
footage of individuals, although the specific cues used have not been identified. Here we assessed the ability of observers to judge sexual
strategy based specifically on cues in both facial composites and real faces. We also assessed how observers' perceptions of the
masculinity/femininity and attractiveness of faces relate to the sociosexual orientation of the pictured individuals. Observers were
generally able to identify restricted vs. unrestricted individuals from cues in both composites and real faces. Unrestricted sociosexuality
was generally associated with greater attractiveness in female composites and real female faces and greater masculinity in male
composites. Although male observers did not generally associate sociosexuality with male attractiveness, female observers generally
preferred more restricted males' faces (i.e., those with relatively strong preferences for long-term relationships). Collectively, our results
support previous findings that androgenisation in men is related to less restricted sexual behaviour and suggest that women are averse to
unrestricted men.
© 2008 Published by Elsevier Inc.
Keywords: Sexual strategy; Sociosexuality; Masculinity; Attraction; Faces

The secreat body language tell of contempt

I just had one on my coaching clients here at the office. (Yes I do one on one coaching on body language.) I gave him the facial expression test to identify emotions. We ended up having a really great discussion about the different facial expressions. My client was particularly fascinated by the "tell" for contempt. If you follow this blog you know I talk a lot about the lack of facial symmetry. Well when someone feels contemptuous they often pull up the their lip on one side of the face. The face looks twisted. Remember it this way. Contempt is a twisted emotion so it twists the face.

Dancing with the Stars Body Language

BODY LANGUAGE OF CELEBRITIES
On Dancing with the Stars
Here are my rough notes (translation unedited notes) on Dancing with the Stars body language.

Steve Wozniak always projects happiness and optimism verbally, but he seems to stand rigid with his hands steadfastly down beside his body. He also tilts his head many times when listening to the judge’s scores all while maintaining a billion dollar smile. His face seems to be reacting differently to his body. Why?
What is so wonderful about reading body language of celebrities in dancing with the stars is you know what their body language is normally are on TV you what called in their baseline is and then you see how being exciting and challenging show changes them and shows you things you have never seen before. In Steve's case, he always holds his body very stiff in what I call the Nutcracker posture big smile arms down at his sides. That his normal behaviour. He has so much fun on the dance floor chest out during judging only one talked put out his hand arm to get attention and speak he actually able to talk.


The body is always more honest than the face because it under less conscious control you are less aware of it so when you are reading body language you want to read from the feet to the top of the head. The face can be for show the body can be for real. A head tilt can mean intent listening or show I am less powerful than you are.
Lawrence spends a lot of time on his own behind the scenes and in the red room before his performance. Why do you think he does this? This is so fascinating, his he has this image of being very aggressive on the football field, but on the need to spend, a lot of time reveals that he is really an introvert. Introverts need time alone to recharge their batteries. (Nervousness biting his nails in first practices self-beating himself up. During judging on first show. Tongue thrust, hands fully behind his back, tight stiff mouth grin
Ty constantly licks his lips and bites his lower lip when listening to the judges. What does that mean? Nervousness? King of the rodeo smiling most cheek up against her tongue wiping away nervousness Bruno tough judge downward smile and tongue thrust out at end of judging and before scores on first episode
Ty also holds on to Chelsea very tightly with his hand right around the back of her shoulder blades grasping the other side of her arm. Is he perhaps protecting her or holding on to her for moral support?
Denise licks her lips and tilts her head and to one side and puts her hand on her hip on this same side when listening to the judges. Almost like a little kid does in the playground when they are being defiant or strong. Any particular reason why Denise might do this?
For someone so noisy and chatty, you nailed Steve big grin and rubbing his hands together during judges scoring, Steve O is very quiet and closed mouth breathing through his nose. I love that his smiles and gulps down and breaths through his nose. He gulping for air after dancing but we breathe negative feeling out and his breathing his nervousness out through his nose. (First show little smile during waltz as he completed step the funny ta da move and grin at the end of the waltz,) During first judging started with big smile and then nodded his head
Shawn holds her hands and arms in front when listening to the judge. What does that tell us?
Holly shrugs her shoulders and grins a sheepish smile lot when listening to the judges. What does this mean? That shrugging shoulder turtle posture is a protective response when someone is under attack.


David puffs his chest out and looks down over his nose with his chin tilted up – looking down over the judges when listening to them. He is tight lipped and keeps his hands behind his back. What does this tell us? Chin up edges of mouth down

Melissa clasps her hands together in front as if she was about to start washing them. What does this mean? Let us get down to business. Tongue out like a bad taste left side of face twisted down to hold he

Helping Children Deal with Stranger Danger,

The website and publication "Root and Sprout" wanted parents to know how to teach their children about Stranger Danger.

As body language expert I can speak to corporate audiences about the accuracy of your immediate gut impressions. My audiences have shared funny and sometimes embarrassing stories about their toddlers accurate first impressions of "Aunt Martha" or That scary guy at the car place." Teach them to feel comfortable going with gut impressions of people. In that fraction of a second the child is reading the nonverbal cues in the primal brain before he or she can process the information in his or her conscious brain and know what to say or do. They are often accurate in their assessments. You need them to be comfortable and confident in making these first impressions. Sometimes telling them to, "Shush and be quite." or "Be polite." will make them doubt their ability to access safe people from dangerous people. Teach them about strangers and what to do if they feel uncomfortable. One way to do this is to teach them how their body may go into Freeze Flight Flight. Most adults know about the flight, fight response, but they don’t know that the third fear response is freeze and that is often what children do in a scary situation such as a stranger approaching them. You can have fun with it and make it game so they not what to do. Kids typically freeze first. They need to learn to take action before the fear overwhelms them and they go into or stay in the freeze response.

The practice of training children shout “stranger” and running is great one, because if they practice that routine enough it will be stored in their “muscle” memory (the brains strongest link to memory) and that is what they will do under stress.

Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com

How to use matching body language to calm a crying baby

I am a body language expert. Baby cry to be heard and understood. They are not feeling good, hungry, tired, uncomfortable, in paid, lonely and bored and they want to communicate with us. They will go longer louder and more aggressive in there crying till they know you understand. If you know they are not in severe pain, one of the best tips to calming and soothing a baby is to match their crying. That is match the volume, intensity and rhythm of their crying as you look at them. In a brief moment you will know you have matched them and they will feel heard and understood. Typically they will soften and bring down the volume of their crying immediately or once you match you can slowly while making eye contact with the baby bring down the volume and intensity of your cry to softer and softer and then when it is a whisper smile and they baby will, unless they are in lots of pain soften their cry with you. I have used this technique for years. I have amazed my sisters by getting their children to stop crying in moments and even used it on airplanes to calm a seatmates crying child.
If you use this could you please link to my site?
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com

How to use matching body language to calm a crying baby

I am a body language expert. Baby cry to be heard and understood. They are not feeling good, hungry, tired, uncomfortable, in paid, lonely and bored and they want to communicate with us. They will go longer louder and more aggressive in there crying till they know you understand. If you know they are not in severe pain, one of the best tips to calming and soothing a baby is to match their crying. That is match the volume, intensity and rhythm of their crying as you look at them. In a brief moment you will know you have matched them and they will feel heard and understood. Typically they will soften and bring down the volume of their crying immediately or once you match you can slowly while making eye contact with the baby bring down the volume and intensity of your cry to softer and softer and then when it is a whisper smile and they baby will, unless they are in lots of pain soften their cry with you. I have used this technique for years. I have amazed my sisters by getting their children to stop crying in moments and even used it on airplanes to calm a seatmates crying child.
If you use this could you please link to my site?
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com

Reading a Match.com Photo, Body Language and Smiling

My little four legged friend, Bo the wonder dog was featured prominently in the verbiage of my Match.com profile. I talk about how Bo and I walk together 45 minutes every day and how he sits beside me at my desk while I work in my home office. When I got and email from one particular guy on Match.com I read his written profile and I was wary of going out with him. The life he described he let made him seem like a player. He sounded fun,but he didn't sound like the kind of guy I would want to date.

However, in one of his photos he was sitting with his arms around a big dog both the dog had big ole’ smiles on their faces. Because I am a body language expert (I have even did a research study last year on smiling and personality available on my website) and read photos I could read his smile and knew it was real. ( For the body language cues that reveal a true smile check my website.) I could tell from his photos as he interacted with others that this man had a passion for living. I since I also read photos of people with their dogs, I also knew this man really cared for the dog. The combination of the smile and the dog drew me to him. In fact, he looked so darn cute with the dog that I decided after he made several appeals for a date that I would go out with him.

As it turned out, He had lost his dog to his ex girlfriend in a break up. But from the first time he met Bo my wonder dog he has loved him. He plays with Bo and when Bo learned how to open the back French doors he started bragging on Bo to our friends. Bo is sensitive to some people foods. Spaghetti and popcorn and other human snacks are just not for Bo. Since my sweetie found that out he is first to pick up any fallen food scrap that falls on the kitchen floor when we are cooking and the first to jump off the couch to get a piece of popcorn that has fallen on the rug. He is incredibly loving with my dog Bo. Now my girlfriends tease me and say I should read photos for women of men they are interested in on Match.com

Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com

How Can You Tell If She is in to You?

Friday, March 27, 2009

How Can You Tell She is in To You. More of Health Magazine InterviewIf you’re physically attracted to a man, you might reach out with open palms or push your hair behind your ear with your palm facing out. That’s a signal to his brain that you’re open to flirting and seduction, Wood says. -Similarly, turning the upper part of your chest toward a person—what Wood calls “the heart window”—and pointing your toes toward someone show openness to being approached, and a desire to connect whether it’s a romantic interest or a potential new friend.

Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.pattiwood.net/
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com/ .com

Checking messages while you are with someone else, techno rudeness and body langauge.

I am rarely cynical in my blogs, In fact, I have been called a Pollyanna optimist many times. I also am truly blessed with the most incredible friends on the plane but if you have read my blog you know that. I say all this before I share a cynical story about a wonderful. I know it doesn't take me off the hook, but it does give the story a bit of build up..
So I am out with a friend for lunch the other day. A friend I have not seen for month I might add and five minutes after we sit down for lunch she is checking her Blackberry for messages from the guy friend she just had her real lunch with. ( She apologizes for eating ahead of our lunch she said she would have dessert with me. ) She continued to check her blackberry throughout lunch. I love my friend very much she is an amazing woman, but she is so brilliant her mind needs to be occupied at all times. So she often goes into what I call the techno haze. For me the unspoken subtext of checking text messages in front of friends is: "Somewhere else there is someone who I care about more than you. I want to know what they have to say more than what you have to say to me now." The idea of being present in the moment is disappearing faster than you can say, "Hey, I've got to take this call..." We stop being in the moment. We stop being present wit each other. We devalue our current situation, the friends and family around us, our surroundings and setting, for something going on somewhere else. Somewhere that seems far more interesting that what is right their in front of them.
I see it when I go into speak to an audience now and it makes me crazy. Audience's use to talk and interact with each other before the program started. I am not sure, but I think that is why people have meetings and conventions so people can share ideas and experiences, with the people in the room. Now everyone heads are down. People don't have their hearts open they have their laptops open. They don't shake hands they do hip checks of the blackberry's. They don't lean into their seat mate to say hello, they pull out their cell phone to take a call. They are not connecting to the people in the room they are somewhere else. Certainly they don't look like they are in that room to learn. I am so glad that I teach what I do the way I do. I have my audience's up out of their chairs right away, now I realize that if they have any gadgets they would fall off in the first audience interaction exercise. What do you think about the techno haze?

banking, benifits of face to face human interaction, body language and banking

Today a journalist ask me if I still did my banking face to face. Here is my answer.

Since I opened my first bank account at 11, I have preferred to go into the bank and make my deposits and withdrawals. At 50 I still don’t use the bank machines to withdrawal cash. I don’t want to be known by my back account number and I don’t want to interact with a machine.
For over 20 years I knew all the cashiers’ by name and they new mine. When I came in we would visit for a minute would ask me how my last trip was, because they knew I fly out of town every week to speak and I would ask about their day and their family. Now that my bank has been bought a few times I know only know one teller. It is still worth to go in because she smiles and says my name and I smile back and we laugh about the fact that the two of us are always in a good mood. It makes my day.
I am a body language expert. Human interaction feeds us. It is sustenance. The smile, the eye contact of recognition, the light touch of hands across the counter, insures us we are seen, are known, that we exists. Each face to face interaction makes our lives rich. It also feeds the brain. If you have been reading my blogs or getting my newsletter you know that I love neuroscience and often talk about the brain body connection. Here is link to a website that discusses the research of Dr. Thomas Lewis who does research on face to face interaction and the brain. Headrush@typeface.com
"Part of the issue they've discovered in research is just how crucial the immediate response is. In still-face effect experiments with infants, for example, they learned that babies become immediately distressed when their mother maintains a "still face" that does not show any response/feedback with what the baby is doing. This makes sense, but what's really interesting is when they experimented with video. In some of these variations on the still-face effect, mothers and babies were on closed-circuit monitors where they could each see each other in real-time, through a television monitor. The babies were much happier when their mother's face was responsive to their own... less distressed than when the mother was right in front of the baby but maintaining a still face!
So, it was the responsiveness that mattered as well as the visual information. But just how quick does the feedback/response need to be? When they took the same experiment but introduced a short delay (I can't recall the amount -- but it was less than a few seconds), the babies became distressed again. Even a small degree of latency killed the feedback/interaction/responsiveness the baby's brains were expecting and needing.
Of course, we're adults, and not babies, but again--Dr. Lewis pointed out that we still have the same basic neurochemistry, and that no matter how much we practice communicating through text, the brain still finds it stressful. He indicated that the only population whose lives have improved through the use of text over face-to-face are those with a serious problem of shyness. In the brains of the shy, he said, a previously unknown face triggers a fear or anxiety response in their amygdala which doesn't happen in text.
He said that video chat is better than any other form of non face-to-face, because you get facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, AND real-time responsiveness. But--he said there's still a very unsettling feature for the brain because there's really no way for BOTH speakers to make eye contact! If you look at the camera, then the other person sees you looking at them, but then your experience suffers. So you can either watch the person you're chatting with which helps your experience but causes theirs to suffer (since you won't be looking into the camera, so to THEM you'll be looking down), OR you can look in the camera and improve their experience. But there's no way to have the camera right in your face, in a place where you can still look into the other person's eyes. Bottom line: You can see the camera or the person's eyes... but not both.
And even with the benefits of adding video to your chat, there's still a lot the scientists don't know about other factors surrounding human communication that can't be captured electronically. Smell, for example, might be far more powerful than we realize--even when below our conscious awareness. Headrush@typeface.com/creatingpassionateusesers

Angelina and Brad body language

I did a very interesting piece for this weeks In Touch magazine. They sent me photo's of Angelina with her brother and with Brad and had me compare her body language with her brother with her body language with Brad. As you might have noticed at least in Public she is more intimate with her brother than with Brad. Check out the article on page 31 of this weeks issue.

How body language reflects sadness and happiness

Another excerpt from Health Magazine interview of body language. "When you’re feeling happy and confident, your body automatically lifts up, Wood says. “You may lift your head, shoulders, and or chest, and you might find yourself pushing it for a moment on the balls of your feet. -On the other hand, if you’re depressed or experiencing low self-esteem, the body goes down. Your shoulders and head may come down, You might look down when you talk, your facial expressions may go down and you may bend slightly at the knees , and gestures downward, or not at all and your voice may go down in volume. People typically think,"My body reflects my feelings.", but the because of the mind-body connection it is also true that your body can change your feelings. -One quick way to give yourself a boost: Lift up your head, bring your shoulders back, sit up, and smile. It can change your mood in less than a fraction of a second, Wood says.

arm crossing

Here are notes from an interview that I did with Health Magazine.

-“Though, there are over sixty different reasons that may motivate you to cross your arms from anger and stress to the temperature in the room. When some sees you crossing your arms he or she tends to think you’re are keeping something inside or someone out, Wood says. We don’t like that barrier and see it as a defensive posture.-If you’re shy, you may unconsciously do this at a party to keep others from approaching. Or if you disagree with someone at work, you might cross your arms as a way of holding back your real opinion. -The position makes you feel protected, but it also shuts other people out. So if you’re in a social situation, let your arms hang down by your sides or use them to gesture to appear more approachable.

Body Language for power

Here are some notes from Health magazine for an article that will apear in few months.


Making your body compact by doing things like keeping your arms close to your side, or folding them in your lap or crossing your legs tightly can may you appear not merely closed, but subordinate.-When you take up less space , you may appear and feel less powerful, and people may treat you that way, says Patti Wood, MA a body language expert in Atlanta, Georgia. -When you want to command respect, whether it’s from a co-worker or your teen, Patti says. “..take up a little more space. Stand up straight and relaxed, with your feet six to seven inches
apart if you’re a woman more if you are a man.”

Why men love to play golf, a body language secreat

I responded to a media sour from Golf Magazine who was asking for the health benefits of playing golf. I gave them a rather unusual mental health benefit. The benefit of relationship bonding that comes to men when they sit in a golf cart side by side togther for a day of golf.
As a body language expert and researcher for the last 27 years I love to share this fact. Men, as a gender prefer to sit side by side with each other. Wired in the brain primal survival instinct. When the front of their bodies are not vulnerable It makes them feel safe. Think of men going into battle together side by side. Men will automatically feel bonded when they interact at a table or counter or bar when they sit side by side. Research shows that men will also increase their self disclosure with one another when sitting in this position. Let's go back to the golf example. When men sit in golf cart they are sitting side by side and less than 14 inches apart from one another. That is what researchers call the "intimate" zone of space. So men are more likely not only self disclose, but also to feel closer and more intimate with one another siting with each other on a golf care. Therefore they will be more likely to share personal more intimate information. Now add the time dimension. The longer men are together side to side in an intimate zone of space, ie a golf cart for 18 holes of golf which typically takes all day or a minimum of three hours you have a scientific recipe for men to bond that is really unique to the sport of golf.

Why people should gesture when speaking.

A former audience member asked the following questions recently, "What's the protocol when someone uses their hands when they are speaking?" "Is this in poor taste!" "Do you have any literature out there on this type of body language?" I sent her a chapter from my success signals book to explain why gesturing to emphasize what you are saying can help your speak more eloquently and speak more from your heart. Here is my Success Signals book excerpt.

Gesturing can help you think and speak from your heart. When you gesture you show your personality to your others. Why? Because your arms come out from your heart they show how open and receptive you are to everyone you meet and interact with, so when you open your hands wide and hold them high you show you are open, when you hide them behind your back or glue them to your sides you show you are not willing to embrace the person or situation your in. Personality tests say that the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use your arms and the more you gesture broadly. The quieter and more introverted the less you move your arms away from your body. How do you gesture and what does it say about you?
Understanding gestures can help you increase your sales they help you think and help you read what other people are thinking. The first thing they do it show your personality to your prospect. Because your arms come out from your heart they show how open and receptive you are to everyone you meet and interact with, so when you open your hands wide and hold them high you show you are open to your prospect when hide them behind your back or glue them to your sides you show you are not willing to embrace the person or situation your in. Personality tests say that the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use your arms and the more you gesture broadly. The quieter and more introverted the less you move your arms away from your body. How do you gesture and what does it say about you?


We use more gestures when we’re excited or trying to communicate a difficult message. There are more than 100,000 possible hand signals using different combinations of postures, arm, and wrist or finger movements. No wonder we keep on doing that crazy hand jive! As a professional speaker, I use an enormous number of gestures. Research says lecturers make twice as many hand gestures as people who are talking one-on-one. Gesturing actually helps you access information in your brain and helps you form your messages. Think of gesturing as the way you pull out the file cabinet's in your brain to search for information.

To read more you can purchase my body language book at www.PattiWood.net by clicking on products.

Body Language Tools to Build Confidence in Job Interviews

I just responded to a media request for tools to "... prepare people mentally to go into the interview and do the best they can. With the job market in the shape it is in now, people who have an interview are extremely lucky and they cannot afford to become stressed or "psyched out" before talking to a potential employer. I responded.

I am a body language expert I just had a coaching session with a client where we used some of my confidence building tools for job interviews.


One powerful technique to gain confidence and keep yourself from getting stressed during and interview is to imagine the emotions you want the interviewer to have about you and deliver the body language that elicits those emotions. For my client today the emotion he wanted the interviewer to feel was excitement. So you he said the word excitement and then moved and held his body up and leaned forward and gestured as he shared his positive work experiences . He smiled and even laughed as he relayed one particular story. He didn't feel excited in the moment before he started moving his body, he felt afraid. But he said, "It was weird as soon as I brought my shoulders back and smiled and put some energy in my voice I got it sighted." "It felt like I had just had a cup of Starbucks" So go into your interview showing excitement with up, energetic nonverbal behavior. Do know, of course that there are caveats to excitement being the appropriate response. But overall your demeanor can illicit the appropriate emotion for the situation.

A second techniques to build confidence is to move and hold your body “UP!” I created the label UP. to describe all upward posture and movements and facial expressions such as, head held up, gestures with up motions. When we are happy are body naturally moves up and holds itself up. When you hold or move your body the way you would like to feel the posture actually sends a message to the brain, “Hey I am feeling great, positive and up.” As you hold your body the little pharmacy in your brain starts producing the chemicals that match that state, (in as little as a 40th of a second.) and pumps them into your body and you begin to feel up. The combination of your up posture and movement up and chemical up state is felt by the interviewer. They start to give you attentive nonverbal cues and that makes you feel more confident. I call this the fake it till you make it technique. You only have to fake it for a fraction of a second before it actually effects how you feel.

A third tool is to choose a word that expresses how you would like to feel in your interview and then get into a posture that matches it. So if your word is CONFIDENT your put your body in an open position, arms away from your body, legs uncrossed shoulder back heart forward, extending eye-contact for as long as three seconds, and make your voice going down at the end of sentences. (We tend to tighten the vocal chords when we are tense and the high, sometimes screechy sound is not powerful. When we use positive words we can alter how are brain functions by increasing cognitive reasoning and strengthening areas in our frontal lobes. Using postie words in your life more than negative ones can kick-start the motivational centers of the brain, propelling them to action.

And a forth techniques is to use that same magic word to replace any negative thoughts you have about the interview. For example, replace the though, “ I am going to mess up is and forget what to say with your magic word. “I am going to be CONFIDENT and remember what I want to say.”

So imagine confidence and use the word to motivate yourself and move up to be more confident!

E-mail Patti - Patti@PattiWood.net

Body Language of Ed Westwick will be in In Touch Weekly

Today I was asked by In Touch weekly magazine to read the body language of Ed Westwick (the guy on the right) He ended his ended his “bromance” with co-star Chace Crawford (best friend/roomate) and is hanging out with another guy at a basketball game. Tune in Wednesday for the read.

What is Barbie's middle and last name?

My friend Mark just emailed me that Mattel's Barbie was "born" Barbie Millicent Roberts on March 9, 1959. This is important information. Read posts I wrote today on her attractiveness.

Barbie's Birthday and why men are attracted to Barbie's hour glass shape.

Barbie’s Birthday –Why girls and woman buy Barbie’s dolls and Why men our drawn to her hourglass figure.

Why are men attracted to the hourglass shape? Why do men like Barbies girls?

Large-breasted, narrow-waisted women have the highest reproductive potential, according to the newest research. Therefore, it is not a surprise that men are attracted to women with an hourglass shape. The attraction has a biological justification. If men choose to a woman with an hourglass shape they increase the chance that they will bear a child with her. (OK, perhaps not on the top of men's conscious minds when they are out cruising at a bar, put their primal wiring is working at the subconscious level. Their attraction has a biological justification. Poor men they just can’t help themselves. They love Barbie.
The research on the hour glass shape attraction shows that woman with a relatively low waist-to-hip ratio and large breasts had about 30 per cent higher levels of the female reproductive hormone estradiol than do women with other combinations of body shapes. (Research by Dr. Grazyna Jasienska, at Jagiellonian University in Krakow)
Barbie curves are now justified by science.
Writing in Proceedings B, the researchers led by Dr Grazyna Jasienska of Harvard University, said the hourglass figure was popular in Western cultures, but not in others across the world. (Just tell me where a short woman with a big tummy is attractive so I know where to move.)
She said men in non-Western societies did not seem to favor women with hourglass figures, and broader figures, indicating good nutritional status, were considered most attractive. (I think I show good nutritional status, mint thin Girl Scout cookies are very nutritious.)
However, in Western societies, the cultural icon of Barbie as a symbol of female beauty seems to have some biological grounding," added Dr Jasienska.
In Europeans it may well be that the hourglass body shape for women is more highly correlated with fecundity ( ability to get pregnant.) than is the case with other groups and that this is due to average genetic differences. There may have been co-evolution of the hourglass body shape as more fecund along with genetic changes that increased the attraction to that body shape.
The higher level of estradiol translates into 3 times higher likelihood to get pregnant.
"If there are 30 per cent higher levels, it means they are roughly three times more likely to get pregnant," Jasienska, a human biologist, told New Scientist.

The experts tell us that the physical features and characteristics considered to be "beautiful" are in fact subconscious indicators of fertility and good health, while some other features and characteristics are considered”unattractive" because they render a person less fertile or more susceptible to disease and parasite assaults. For example, a woman with an oestrogenized small chin and a small waist-to-hip ratio appears to be beautiful because these are physical features that indicate good fertility, childbearing ability and general health. In addition, of course a man has reciprocal features to indicate his facility to sire healthy children, and (apparently less importantly) support them and the mother.
Judging beauty involves looking at another person and subconsciously figuring out whether you want your children to carry that person's genes. We judge each other by nonverbal rules that we're often not even aware of at the conscious level. We may consciously admire Heidi Klum’s legs, but we're also viscerally attuned to small variations in the size and symmetry of facial bones and the placement of weight on the body.
Research correlates the physical attraction of human males to human females to certain basic physical features, regardless of culture. These include:
· signs of youthfulness (vigor, flexibility, bounciness, smooth skin);
· signs of health (clear skin, lack of disease, physical fitness);
· a good figure with an optimal hip-waist ratio and generous bust;
· facial and body symmetry;
· An infant like face.
The possession of beautiful characteristics by a woman acts as a 'certification of biological quality', offering her a significant mating advantage over other women in the competition for partners and reproduction - historically and today. All men are innately attracted to a beautiful woman, and she is thus more likely to be able to attract and select a high quality, high status, man as her mate - but women can often be pragmatic and he may not be the most beautiful (aka most handsome and physically attractive) partner available. It can be argued that women have an inherent ruthless streak that urges them to seek out the most beautiful mate to sire her children, and separately (and if necessary deceitfully) a high value partner who will best look after her and her children. Modern DNA testing is certainly revealing in many instances a woman's children are actually be sired by another, presumably often more "beautiful" man, than their husband - one study found that 1 in 8 of the children tested were probably calling the wrong man "Daddy"!

Coaching to reduce Social Anxiety disorder

Most of you know that I both a professional speaker and a one on one coach. I have had so many clients in the last few years that are dealing with social anxiety issues. What does that mean. Well just like public speaking anxiety that makes you fearful before and or during speeches social anxiety disorder means that are are fearful before and or during social interactions. I had a Friend years ago who's anxiety was so high he was uncomfortable ordering a pizza over the phone. It makes sense that so many people are dealing with this stress. So many young people are not getting the normal practice of face to face interactions growing up. So in coaching I have several methods to deal directly with the clients fear anxiety and then we break down all the parts of the social interactions that the client has trouble with and we practice them and the client does fun doable homework projects in the real world until he or she is super comfortable. I love this work. The clients are always surprised at how much fun the coaching is. We laugh a lot and I am so pleased that we have the time for focused work so that even in one session the client can accomplish so much and I get to see the shift in their confidence and actual changes in their communication. I not sure if this is a normal blog entry, but I have had some great coaching sessions lately and I am so happy doing this work I wanted to ramble a bit about it. I think another time I will explain some of the tools I use int the coaching.

Openess, Approachablitly, body language and attraction

Openness, Approachability, Body Language and Attraction

Here are some questions I recently answered as part of an article for Health magazine

1.       We talked about how women have a smaller stance and that it can make people think you're a doormat.

That is not a doormat stance just a regular stance. It simply means when women stand with their feet less than five inches apart that they look a little less powerful and are physically just easier to push over because their stance is typically not as broad.

2.      How would you recommend standing if you want to command respect, say with a co-worker or with a teen?

Knowing there is a fine line between respect and aggression I would say 6 to 8 inches apart to give information and commands For example, should you stand up straight or plant your feet a certain width apart.

3.      If you notice that you cross your arms as a way of keeping people out, is there another way you can hold your arms or hands that's more approachable, like behind your back or something like that?

First there are over 60 different ways of crossing your arms and reasons for all of them. If you would like to look and feel approachable you want your hands to be viewable. Think cave man brain, we want to make sure the person we approach is not armed. Also you ideally want to show the palms of your hands, gesture with open hand and keep the center of your body where your heart lies open or unblocked. If your nervous you can rest an arm at your side and touch your fingers together to give yourself an security anchor or briefly put on hand in your pocket.

4.      What if you notice that you cross your arms to hold in emotions or thoughts, is there anything you can do with your body to help fix that? Sometimes you close your arms down, just like a computer shuts down when it is on overload. You fold your arms because you don’t want to take in and or give out more information and you need to shut down to process it. When you’re ready you can open your arms to accept more information. One tip if you are bored at a meeting is to rest your full arms on the table reaching out toward the speaker in a symbolic reach and give them your eye contact and smile. Research indicates that audience’s energy and attention can improve the speaker’s animation.

5.      You said the body often lifts up when someone is happy. If you're depressed and you notice that your body is going downward, can sitting up straight or lifting your head actually lift your mood (the same way that smiling when you’re sad can make you feel better)? Any time you change your body language and paralanguage you are potentially changing the chemicals that are being sent into your body. Lifting up your head, bringing your shoulders back, sitting up and smiling can change your mood in less than a fraction of a second. I have quite a bit of research on that and I am especially intrigued with the research on smiling.

6.      We talked about several signs that show physical attraction.  These are opening or approach me signals rather than pure attraction signals such as opening your palms or heart window to someone.

7.      Is there some other type of body language that might show openness to someone like a new friend or a potential business partner? Turning your feet towards then. Woman sometimes when they are attracted tilt their head and play with their hair, while showing the palm. Guys sometimes increase their stance and puff up their chest.

Visit the website at http://www.pattiwood.net

Tango dance scene to show matcing and mirroring.

If you love isopraxisim and matching and mirroring watch the formalized version of it in this dance scene from tango. It's absolutely wonderful.
Tango - Larroca
June 20, 2008, 09:24 AM
Wonderful dance sequence from the 1998 film 'Tango' directed by Carlos Saura and featuring music by Lalo Schiffrin. http://www.ModernJiveGermany.com