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Insights from Patti Wood, Body Language Expert

What inspired you to get into the field of love/dating and analyzing celebrity couples body language?

As a child I noticed that I had this unusual ability to read people. Starting in the fourth grade and through college I carried a little notebook with me everywhere. I would watch people and write poetry and song lyrics about what I saw. I saw peoples' happiness, their love and their pain. I am  passionate about helping people find love and keep the healthy love they find.  And yes, I have matched up couples and my girlfriends want me to read their dates and or sweeties and my clients show me photos of them with their love interest to read.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

From Cold to Cozy - Body Language Read of Zoe and Marco



Zoe Saldana and Marco Perego look tense after shopping in Beverly Hills on Dec. 23rd.  Patti observes that she is pushing him down and away.  Also the way Marco's shoulders are positioned shows that he is feeling disconnected.  Patti gives the "so tense" couple a 2 on the True Love Rating Scale for Life & Style

However, the married couple of 8 months were feeling frisky in Milan in April.  Patti notes that they are shaped like a heart in the April pic.  Patti likes her smile and notes that she is holding in the love as he kisses her. Patti gives the "so sweet" couple a 4 1/2 on the True Love Rating Scale for Life & Style

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Five Mistakes People Make When It Comes To Their Love Lives



  1.  Falling in LUST at first sight.  The notion of Lust at first sight seems obvious after the relationship is over, but can seem like true love each time you fall into it. The problem is, you are so physically attracted that it blinds you to what the person’s true personality, or even an accurate read of the two critical first impression factors credibly and likability. Hormones are powerful. 
  2.  DANGER at first sight.  DANGER at first site is very interesting as it is a misread of our physiological responses to danger. When we see someone dangerous the limbic responds in a Freeze, Flight, Fall or Faint Response. We might misread the heart racing, breathless physical state and think this is so intense this must be love, when it may really be the central nervous system's response to someone very scary. So don’t date that guy or gal run for the hills. Look for Danger signals. From overly aggressive forward motions,  unappreciated touch to ignoring your "discomfort" cues to seeing if someone has "closed heart window" and or "closed palm window". There are so many danger at first sight cues. 
  3. Ideal projection- Falling for the” idea” of a person rather than the real person. Everybody does it to some extent and in a long term relationship research shows a little bit of idealizing helps you believe the best about your partner. But it can be dangerous if you are truly blind to a person faults, . You need to see what is there rather than what is being faked. There are so many cues given off in the first fifteen minutes of a conversation that are tell you truth, and give you insight into the real person. Oddly one simple cue, how much time they spend gently gazing is incredibly revealing, that is, not staring, but a look, smile, look away, look again. sequence of cues.
  4. Frozen with fear -Keeping you from getting in the fame. Being afraid to go out and meet people and date, because you are concerned about choosing incorrectly, not being accepted, or getting terribly hurt. Or if you are dating or in a relationship, frozen with fear so you don’t talk to your partner, fix problems or get out if the relationship is toxic. There are so many people frozen in bad relationships. Frozen might be a great animated film, but it is not how you want to spend your life. There are too many people frozen and in need of warmth in their lives. 
  5. Faking it – It was fun to pretend as a kid, not so fun as a grown up. Beware of pretending you love someone. Pretending you are happy. Pretending you are someone you are not. First of all that is a heck of a lot of work and a lots of heartache for all involved. 

I write more extensively on these issues on this blog as these are problems I have researched and written about since I taught body language at Florida State. You can find more on the blog by typing in the key mistake! 

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Stress and Finding Balance Tip

1.    Count to ten. When you're upset, count to ten. When you're mad or angry, you are operating from the emotional limbic brain (what we use to call the right hemisphere of the brain.) Numbers are in the brain’s neocortex. (left hemisphere). Counting gets your brain to switch to the your more logical brain this automatically gets you to feel calmer

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at wwsnapw.firstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Deception Detection - What To Do After You Find Out


I do deception detection training for law enforcement, corporate clients, hospitals and casinos. Recently I was asked to share with a media source what to do when you have found out there has been a lie or cover-up. So here are ten things to do when you have discovered an employee lying, cheating or stealing.  

You really need to get a read on the person before you have a discussion or attempt to uncover deception. Sometimes it is just a small lie or bad behavior by an overall good person, but if the problem is serious or a criminal or the person is unstable you may have to deal with some uncomfortable or even dangerous behavior.  Someone who has been living with the fear of being “found out” may be in a heightened state of stress for a long time.  Think of what you would do to prepare to come upon a soldier in a war zone.  The person may be very afraid and ready to attack or defend. Proceed and deal with that person cautiously.
  
1.       Have evidence. Having visual hard evidence, specific facts in a list form on paper, videotapes, things that they can see and or touch is helpful.
2.       Know exactly what you’re going to say.  Write it down, prepare and practice.
3.       If you want to get them to talk or tell you why, you may want to use the phrase, “I know what you did, and I know you want to tell me everything.” “I know you did this, and you will feel so much better if you tell me everything.”
4.       Have your plan of what you will do and what they need to do and be prepared to take action and follow through immediately.
5.       Some people will crumble right away and apologize. Be prepared to act with compassion and forgiveness for someone who made a mistake and is not a bad person or compulsive liar.
6.       If a liar thinks they have an out or delay, they can be very persuasive and manipulative.  Be prepared, they may use tears and anger to try to get you to change your plans.  
7.        If someone is a compulsive liar be prepared, they will continue to deny any evidence you give them of their deceit.
8.       Be prepared to repeat your statements of evidence. Repeat your plan and what they need to do. Also be prepared to say,”I hear what you’re saying, but I need to do… and you must do …” or even, “No matter what you say, this is what needs to happen.”
9.       When they are gone and you are done, plan to do something with someone you trust and care about to ground you and remind you that most people are good and kind. Don’t berate yourself for being deceived, it happens.
10.   Protect yourself from cynicism. Look for kind, caring and honest people.   The most recent research says that people who expect people to be good and have people in their life that have integrity can more accurately detect deceit. 


Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.