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"Tie Signs" How Do You Know If He Likes You? Body Language and Attraction Tie Signs

"Tie Signs" How Do You Know If He Likes You? Body Language and Attraction Tie Signs


I just did an interview for Cosmopolitan magazine on attraction signals. One set of body language cues that can show liking and attraction are tie signs. 


A man touching you affectionately when you are in public spaces can serve as a ‘tie sign’ that shows others that you are his partner and or that you are “taken.” When a man reaches out to hold hands, puts his arm around you, puts his hand on the center of your lower back to guide and protect you, he his giving you and others  ‘tie signs’ showing others that you are together. The use of ‘tie signs’ is used more often by couples in the dating and courtship stages than between their married counterparts according to Burgoon, Buller, and Woodall.

Studies have also shown gender difference in who touches when. In the initial stages of a relationship, men often follow gender roles and go first, touching first and most often. Men tend to touch more and after initial touch in casual relationships and as the relationship became more intimate during serious dating. American culture still dictates that men make the first move.

Do be careful of any signal that indicates the man possesses you as an object rather than a desire to link his body with yours in a way that shows connection. Puff Daddy often takes his arm and holds a woman around her back and neck and lets his hand dangle in front. The arm around shows ownership with the dangling hand rather than hand touching and or gently cupping her arm shows a desire to overwhelm rather than tenderness.  


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Video Tips of What To Do If You Don't Want To Shake Hands

Video Tips To Learn
What To Do If Don’t Want to Shake Hands
Handshake Alternative

Body Language Expert Patti Wood gives techniques for avoiding a handshake if you are concerned about germs and cold and want to avoid shaking hands. 

By Patti Wood MA, CSP is a Professional Speaker Author and Coach. 

Here is the video:

http://youtu.be/klkOHEzRUps

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Read of Iggy Azalea & Nick Young - Are They On The Rocks?

Body Language Read of Iggy Azalea & Nick Young - Are They On The Rocks?







Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel athttp://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

10 Ways to Show Your Clients They're Important


Patti was featured in the FIC Perspective. It is the magazine of the Fraternal Insurance Counselor. Each issue is filled with sales ideas, motivational articles, Society news, and up-to-date information from NAFIC. Below is the full article followed by a link to the publication.
Sometimes we are unaware of how we look to others, or we don’t think what we are doing or not doing is noticed. But, our behavior is not invisible. What we do says volumes about us. What we don’t do can also lead to people thinking less than positive thoughts about us.  Following are people’s perceptions toward behaviors. These are perceptions that could result in a less-than-stellar view and that could result in your clients taking actions based on their perceptions, even so far as to select someone else as
their financial advisor.
YOUR POSTURE, SIT
UP STRAIGHT.

Remember when your
mom would chastise you when
you made a rude facial expression,
saying, “Don’t make a face like that
or your face will freeze like that?”
Have you noticed how your body
language suddenly changes when
you get out of your sweatpants into
a suit and hard-soled shoes? Our
bodies form in the way we hold
and move them the most. We now
spend the majority of our waking
hours bent down, curled over our
devices, more than seven hours a
day on average. We forget we are
very visible and all that slumping
over in our muscle memory makes
it harder to sit up straight! Have
someone snap a photo of you
hunched over your computer or
tape you talking on the phone.
Now imagine your clients seeing
you sit like that with him or her in
a meeting. (Another incentive for
not constantly checking your phone
is research that shows that looking
down at your phone can put a strain
on your neck equivalent to the
weight of 60 pounds.) 

GIVE YOUR FULL
ATTENTION TO YOUR
CLIENT, FROM THE
FEET UP.

Interacting face-to-face or on the
phone or via conference calls while
doing something else, like checking
your emails and texts, may seem
a good use of your time, but your
voice or body language might be
sending messages to those you work
with that you don’t really care. One
specific non-verbal behavior area to
focus on is your feet. Your feet are
most frequently controlled by the
limbic brain, so they reveal where
you really want to be. For example,
if you are in a meeting but really
want to be back at your desk getting
other work done, your feet may
point toward the door. You might
think that is a subtle cue that others
couldn’t possibly notice, but where
your feet point actually affects the
rest of your body’s alignment. To
be more present and train yourself
to be fully attentive, point your feet
and the rest of your body toward the
speaker. (There are gender-based
differences regarding how we like
to have close, high-self-disclosure
conversations but, generally, if
you’re giving attention to a speaker
at a meeting or your client when he
is speaking, point your feet toward
him or her.)

GET TO YOUR
APPOINTMENTS ON
TIME AND LEAVE
ENOUGH TIME
BETWEEN APPOINTMENTS SO
YOU CAN VISIT AND DEBRIEF.

Beginnings and endings are critical.
By spending time visiting with
people BEFORE the formal meeting
begins and not getting up and
leaving quickly or checking your
phone while there is still someone
with you (and you haven’t visited
and said good-bye), you are saying
non-verbally, “I am done with you
and now I have more important
things to do.” The time you spend
visiting and interacting face-to face
can be extremely valuable. It
helps you establish rapport and get
an emotional read of each person.
This helps you make connections
and alliances, and makes you look
better and helps you persuade
others to see your viewpoint. On
a very basic level, it puts credits in
the “relationship account” of each
person with whom you interact so
he or she knows you care.

TURN OFF THE
TECHNOLOGY.

Just a few years ago,
you looked like an
important, busy and hardworking
person if you brought your phone
with you everywhere and were
checking it constantly. But that
image has since changed. Now, you
just look like you’re rude, your time
and your needs are more important
than who you are with. Think
of your device as you would your
3-year-old child. When you meet
with a client, ask yourself, “Would I
have my 3-year-old with me during
this conversation?” If the answer
is no, put the device away or don’t
even bring it.
Challenge yourself to change your
tech impression in four important
ways:
a. Remember the person in
front of you is always more
important than anything on
your device. He or she is the
real, live person.
b. If you can, keep your technology
turned off and out of sight until
you need it. Don’t put it on the
desk or table between you and
the other person.
c. When you get to the meeting,
if you have a device that is
visible make it a ritual to pick
it up, set it on silent, and put
it out of your line of sight. I
would even recommend that
if you are meeting with one
to three people and you want
to let them know why you are
doing that and/or want them
to do the same, say out loud
something like, “I am putting
this away so I can focus on
you.” Or, “Let me turn this
off and put this away while
we talk.” Or, “I want to focus
on our conversation (or, this
important meeting).”
d. Don’t pull out the phone to
check your messages at the end
of the meeting if the people
with whom you are meeting
are still in the room. Say goodbye,
get out of their visual and
auditory field, and then check
your messages.

GIVE FACE-TO-FACE
TIME TO CREATE
TRUST.

Recent research by Gregory
Northcraft, a professor in executive
leadership at the University of
Illinois, shows when projects are
managed by way of detached, high tech
means rather than face-to-face,
people will have less confidence that
others will do what they say they’ll
do. He says if your communication
is mainly through email, those you
work with will trust you less. Face to-
face contact yields the most trust
and cooperation while e-mail nets
the least, with videoconference
interaction ranking somewhere in
between. Your clients need to be
face-to- face to read the thousands
of non-verbal cues that give them
a read of you and help them decide
the best way to interact with you.15 Volume 10 Issue 1 | 5
Unless you are dealing with a client
that has requested no face to face
meeting, work on getting more face
to face time.

BE VISIBLE;
SOCIALIZE, AND
LISTEN.

When you’re where your clients
might be, such as member events.
You need to say hello or good-bye
as you arrive or leave. You also need
to visit or socialize, speak up and
contribute in meetings, ask for time
to discuss projects face-to-face, go
to lunch with those working on the
project, and compliment others’
success or work effort. Ask people
questions about the projects, goals
and achievements. Be curious about
how they spend their free time and
what their loved ones are doing.
Again, face-to-face contact
builds trust.

CONSIDER THE
OTHER PERSON
BEFORE YOU FOCUS
ON YOURSELF.
EVERYBODY IS DIFFERENT.

Some clients want you to think
about them and be social before
you make a request; others want to
be quick and get down to business
immediately. Notice each client’s
unique needs. If they are warm
and linger in their conversations
start interactions with warm social
conversations. Whether in a phone
call, an email, or a text, ask about
the recipient or make a statement
about them before you talk about
yourself or make a request. Just
one or two sentences are fine; this
creates rapport and puts credits in
the relationship account. Those
extra salutations and sentences
show, non-verbally, that the person
you are sending a message to
matters and that you have thought
about them as an individual. It
also helps others recognize you,
gives you a personality, and makes
you stand out. Remember – you
don’t want to be invisible!

RESPOND TO
EMAILS.

If you don’t respond
in any way to
an email, people will make
assumptions as to why they have
not heard from you. You may
delay a difficult question or email
from someone because you’re
afraid of a conflict or you don’t
know how to answer a question
the client has posed. But NOT
responding is an action. When you
don’t exhibit reasonable behavior,
people will guess why and those
assumptions tend to be negative.
If you put off answering or don’t
respond, you could get yourself in
big trouble. At least say, “I will get
back soon.” Or, “I read your email
and I will be responding soon.”
Otherwise, people think you are
unprofessional or just don’t care.
Though I will say that you should
not have to respond to requests
made at 2 am on a Sunday.

THINK ABOUT
OTHERS WHEN YOU
GET DRESSED FOR
WORK.

This may seem so very obvious but
News flash! You don’t dress just
for you. How you dress shows your
respect – or lack of respect – for
others. It is actually discourteous to
dress inappropriately for meetings.
Other studies show that 75% of
Americans think a well-dressed
man is more successful than his
causal coworkers and more than
one-fifth of men think they would
make more money if they dressed
better than they do and women
are seen as more competent
and intelligent if they dress
professionally.

DON’T FORGET THE
HAIR AND FACE.

Keep your hair neat.
For men both on your
head and on your face. Women
who wear makeup rank higher in
competence and trustworthiness,
according to a study funded by
Procter & Gamble, Massachusetts
General Hospital, Harvard Medical
School, Boston University, and the
Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.
 
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Can Your Body Language Win You The Job?

Can Your Body Language Win You The Job?


I made several body language recommendations for this article on interviewing for a job. My comments are below highlighted in yellow.


Can Your Body Language Win You The Job?
Elizabeth Garone
About the author
Elizabeth is a freelance writer in California and a former Career Q&A columnist for the Wall Street Journal.

Related
Samuel Amegavisa is getting nervous. In his last year of human biology studies at the University of Cape Coast in Ghana, it’s time to start thinking about job interviews.
Everyone knows it’s important to dress smartly for an interview. Less obvious is the importance of how you carry yourself.
“My situation is quite simple. I have never been interviewed before,” wrote 23-year-old Amegavisa in an email to BBC Capital. He had a basic question — one most of us probably don’t think much about. “Is there any recommended sitting position before and during your interview?”
While everyone knows it’s important to dress smartly for an interview, less obvious — and less known— is the importance of how you carry yourself. What hidden cues do you give when you walk through the doorway, shake hands or sit?
Three body language experts share their insights on what moves to make, and avoid, in an interview.
Happy medium
The first contact between an interviewer and interviewee is almost always a handshake. First impressions often determine how the rest of the interview goes, so this can be one of the most important elements of getting it right, according to David Alssema, a body language expert and training facilitator with Paramount Training & Development in Perth, Australia.
“Rapport is built by similarities,” so shake hands the way the interviewer does, recommended Alssema in an email. “Matching the strength or greeting shows you want to be an equal. Overpowering a handshake can signal a dominant attitude towards the meeting.”
Zones of space
No matter our culture, we all have and are at least subconsciously aware of four zones of space around us. They are (from farthest to closest): Public, social, personal and intimate. It’s important to be keenly attuned to these during an interview, according to Nick Morgan, Boston-based speech coach and author of Power Cues: The Subtle Science of Leading Groups, Persuading Others, and Maximizing Your Personal Impact. “The only significant things that happen between people happen in personal and intimate space,” he wrote in an email. “Since intimate space is off limits [in an interview], you want to get into the personal space of the interviewer,” if you want the person to be inclined to decide in your favour.
Make your move
While the handshake brings us into the personal space that we want — it’s why we do it, according to Morgan — typical seating arrangements in an interview tend to move us away. “That makes it easier for the interviewer to pass on us — but harder for us to make an impression,” he said. “So look for ways to tactfully move into the personal space of the interviewer.” For example, you might move your chair slightly or sit on the same side of a round table.
Once you’re seated, consider other ways to close the distance. Lean forward, for example, just not too much. “Try to do this tactfully and subtly, not rapidly or awkwardly,” cautioned Morgan. It’s worth the effort.
“We increase trust and connection with people when we close the distance between us, even by small amounts,” he said.
Please click the arrow above to see how to improve confidence with certain postures.
Open for business
It’s very important to keep your body language “open,” according to Morgan. You’re likely to be nervous and you might find yourself unconsciously clutching your hands in front of you or folding your arms. “These feel safe and comfortable, but also distancing and disconnecting for the other party,” he said. In addition, “[folding your arms] shows that you are disinterested, and it also prevents you from leaning,” said Alssema.
The eyes have it
“Eye contact is important, and any less or any more than a reasonable amount may indicate other attitudes,” said Alssema. What’s just right? That might be hard to tell in some situations, but Alssema suggests mirroring the amount of time the interviewer gives you eye contact. If there is a panel of interviewers, it’s important to provide the right mix of time for each person. “Respond to each person individually with eye contact when answering questions,” he said. “Glancing around is a signal for boredom, so avoid it if possible.”
People often make the mistake of equating good eye contact with never looking away — but this would be a mistake, too, according to Atlanta, Georgia-based Patti Wood, a body language expert and author of SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma.
“It is normal to look away from time to time as you speak, because you’re accessing information in your brain,” she wrote in an email. Just don’t let yourself drift off when the interviewer is speaking. “After giving an answer, remember to make eye contact and listen to the interviewer. Eye contact sends the message that you are serious and engaged,” Wood said.
Don’t forget to breathe — deeply
The moment people get nervous, the more quickly they start breathing. That can wreak havoc in an interview.
When you take quick shallow breaths, you reduce your ability to think clearly,” said Wood. “This may keep you from answering questions quickly and succinctly.”
Instead, try to breathe deeply from low down in your belly. “[It is] one key to feeling clearheaded, energised, and confident,” she said. “Practice breathing more slowly, using your diaphragm, belly, rib cage and lower back in the process.” Of course, this isn’t something you’ll want to do in your actual interview. “But try it whenever you get anxious and certainly before your interview,” she said. 
Career Coach is a twice-monthly column on BBC Capital in which we consider the career turning points and questions many professionals face. We welcome questions from readers at careercoach@bbc.com.
To comment on this story or anything else you have seen on BBC Capital, head over to our Facebook page or message us on Twitter.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.