Search This Blog

What Is This Strange Device?

What is this strange device?


That’s what a participant’s daughter asked when she saw a public phone in a Wall Mart.

Last week I did a program for Texas Roadhouse Restaurants and one of the audience members shared that her teenage daughter asked her what this was. She said, "What do you mean you mean a public phone" "I don't understand what you mean by you put coins in it?" "Why don't they just use their cell phone?"

Yes, coin operated public phones are now rare antiques found only in museums and Wall Mart! 

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

How Texting Could Save America's Youth

How texting could save America's youth
While flying home from a speech in Ohio this week I read the article, “How Texting Could Save America’s Youth.” It is an interesting study which entails basically sending texts to teenagers to remind them to be nice. If they’re going to be checking their phones, it would be great if the messages are positive ones, rather than Kim Kardashian looks great in that dress. 
Kaitlyn Chantry, Reviewed.com10:05 a.m. EDT March 31, 2015
(Photo: HopeLab)

Smartphones in the classroom, smartphones at the dinner table, smartphones behind the wheel — today's parents and educators are waging a war against the texting teen, and most of them probably feel like they're losing.
New research, however, suggests that there may be a way to use texting to stimulate personal growth. Sara Konrath, Director of the Interdisciplinary Program for Empathy and Altruism Research (iPEAR) at Indiana University, is conducting research into ways that new SMS tools can increase empathy in America's youth.
Konrath's study, conducted in collaboration with HopeLab and funded by the John Templeton Foundation, sends participants recurring text messages that reinforce more empathic behavior. According to Janxin Leu, Director for Product Innovation at HopeLab, "The messages prompt people to imagine others' feelings and experiences, and do small kind acts every day."
Some of the text messages are thought exercises: "Think of a close family member. Think about what you like about them." Others are activity prompts: "The next time you see someone, no matter who they are, give them a real smile."
The program, called Text to Connect, is still in its early stages and the pilot study has yet to be published. However, the early findings are promising. Konrath reports that, after just two weeks, participants "have less aggressive beliefs — especially men — and they are more likely to help."
Konrath is optimistic about these pilot results, despite some pessimistic findings about society at large. In 2008, she co-authored a study showing that, since 1980, narcissism has risen in college students by 30%. In a 2011 study, she found that empathic concern decreased by 48% during the same time period.
While there are likely myriad causes for such a shift, Konrath admits that some share of the blame may lie with technology. Citing screened calls, inadvertent insensitivity and general distraction, she observes that "cellphones can be used to disconnect us and distance us from each other, but at the same time they're a major global force for keeping us connected."
With Text to Connect, Konrath and HopeLab are attempting to balance the harmful nature of mobile technology with its potential to improve how we relate to each other — all by inspiring young people to help, support and better understand each other.
If Text to Connect continues to generate positive results, the goal is to make that impact on a larger scale. According to Leu, "If we find evidence that this program is effective, we'll seek out partners to help with broader dissemination." That increased reach could include at-risk teens and high-stress demographics like medical students and new parents.
One small pilot study is hardly proof that text messages can transform teenagers into better human beings, but there is room for hope. If Text to Connect takes hold, it could mean an end to the war on texting — and a kinder, more empathic generation of Americans.
To find out more about Text to Connect, or to volunteer to participate, head tohttp://www.texttoconnect.org/.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Clip from a great movie, "I'll See You In My Dreams" My favorite movie at the Atlanta Film Festival



A Movie Review of  "I'll See You In My Dreams" 
It is a rare treat to see a movie about nice people. A movie with the title character that is a woman of depth and not just over 25 but over 70! It's rare to see a great film that is about friendship, love, and loss, and not about a murderer, druggie, weird loner, sex addict, immature loser, or narcissist. A movie starring a single woman that does not make her deceased husband or the guy she is dating a jerk! Thank God for this funny, and touching movie that lets me know that we can still find a movie about tenderness. I saw a row of 20 year old guys and 40 year old lighting engineers laugh really hard during this movie, so don't mistake it for a chick flick. It was written and directed by the 30 year old Brett Haley, (yes a guy). Brett shared with us at Q&A after the film at the Atlanta Film Festival that they did the whole film in 18 days on a budget of $450,000. That is absolutely amazing! Note the final song sung in the film written by the sound guy on the movie, its absolutely perfect. The film will be in limited release in theaters in May of 2015.

The body language and other nonverbal communication is wonderful in this clip. Notice Sam's eye contact. His eyes linger on her and he smiles. He truly sees her. Notice how she touches her clothing in self comfort as she asks if she is dressed appropriately.

If you see the movie in its entirety notice the silences. There are very few movies these days that are comfortable having characters interact in a long intimate sometimes exquisitely comfortable or painfully awkward silence. (Unless one of the characters has a gun and is hunting the other one!)
When I taught body language at Florida State each semester I had my students write a one page paper on how silence was used to communicate in one of their relationships. I read 100 fascinating papers each semester!  Think about how you or your loved ones and or work mates use silence to communicate.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Great Version of Boom Clap That I am Obsessed With Today!



Just saw Lennon & Maisy on the View and I am obsessed with their cover of "Boom Clap." Notice the way they sweetly look at each other, as it shows true, kind and loving body language.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

The 5 Best Dating Tips for Short Guys

Patti was interviewed by Men's Health Magazine on dating tips for short guys.  Please see Patti's tips highlighted in yellow below.  At the end of the article is the link to the actual article in Men's Health.
The 5 Best Dating Tips for Short Guys
Don’t let your height hold you back. Use these simple strategies to impress every woman you meet
BY SARAH JACOBSSON PUREWALMARCH 26, 2015
IMAGES BY THINKSTOCK









Coming up short in the dating world? Ladies prefer men who are a whopping 8 inches taller than they are, according to a recent Dutch study. With the average American female standing at 5’5”, that puts the bar at 6’1”. 

Why does she prefer a Blake Griffin over a Tom Cruise? Blame evolution—not her, says Tracy Thomas, Ph.D., a San Francisco-based relationship therapist. Taller men would have made better protectors back in caveman days, so women evolved a taste for them, Thomas says. (Primal attraction works both ways: 
It’s Why You’re an Ass Man, too.) 

But don’t fret: Not only are there some major
Scientific, but you also can get a leg up with these smart dating tips.  
Add inches—in the right places—with your wardrobe.
The wrong clothing can make you look pint-sized, but the right rags can lengthen your look, says Brock McGoff of short-guy style blog The Modest Man. The first rule: Get your pants hemmed and your sleeves shortened, McGoff says. Bunched fabric around your wrists and ankles will only draw attention to your smaller stature.
Next, avoid wearing anything that breaks up your frame visually. A streamlined look from top to bottom can help elongate your body, says McGoff. If your pants will stay put, lose the belt—or wear a slim one that’s the same color as your pants. Go for monochromatic color schemes like dark jeans and a dark shirt instead of dark jeans and a white shirt.
 
Don’t let your insecurity get the best of you.
Confidence is key to making a good first impression, says Beverly Hills-based psychiatrist Carole Lieberman, M.D. If you assume right off the bat that she won’t like you because of your height, she probably will be turned off—by your insecurity, Dr. Lieberman says. To feel more confident, remember the qualities that make you a catch and draw her focus to them, advises Dr. Lieberman. Are you a graphic artist who designs his own T-shirts? Wear your creation. Caring family man? Tie on that friendship bracelet your niece made you. MVP of your softball league? Don your team cap.  
Flirt without saying a word.
Too much eye contact can scare off women—it’s usually a menacing gesture, says Patti Wood, author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma. But shorter guys can get away with it because their height makes them less threatening, Wood says.
Holding her gaze for longer than 3 seconds—without towering over her—reads as pure attraction, Wood says. “She’ll think, ‘Wow, this guy is really into me,’” she says.
 It can be intense to stare right into someone’s eyes, so you may want to practice in non-romantic situations like with waiters or cashiers, Wood suggests. But remember: The goal is to show your interest—not creep her out. Don’t pry your eyes open wide like an owl. Keep it natural.  
You get an extra half-inch, but that’s it.
As tempting as it may be, don’t fudge your height in your online dating profile, says Julie Spira, author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Think about it: You wouldn’t want her to blatantly lie about her weight, would you? It’s okay to ditch decimals and round up to the nearest inch, Spira says, but don’t fib more than that. Your ultimate mission is to meet your match in person, and you don’t want her looking for the 5’9” guy you claimed to be on your profile if you’re only 5’5”. She’ll notice. And your dishonesty will make you seem insecure, Spira says. 
Speak her body language.
Men tend to stand side by side when getting to know each other. That’s because when a guy faces you head-on, it’s intimidating, Wood says. But women bond face to face because they don’t have to worry about seeming like a threat. Here’s where your less imposing stature comes in handy: Wood says shorter guys can get away with addressing women head-on and not intimidate them like taller men would.  Next time you flirt, stand face to face. It’s a subtle change, but it’ll make her more comfortable opening up because that’s how she’s used to bonding, Wood says.




Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.