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Narcissistic Supply- An Explanation of Character Assassination and Smear Campaigns

I speak and write about body language and how to deal with difficult people including malignant narcissists. 


"Narcissistic Supply"- Malignant Narcissists (Those on the extreme end of the spectrum.) can't stand for someone to see behind their mask for who they truly are so they attack the character of anyone who is a threat to the false self. Think of people in your life or in the news who have recently attacked someone who outed their bad behavior.

Psychopaths and Malignant Narcissists do not have normal emotions. They can act as if they do, in fact, some are extremely good actors with a facade that makes them appear highly charismatic, powerful and energetic. But the energy they project is not really theirs, they get it from the energy and emotions of others. 

They may seem healthy and happy if they are fed a supply of attention. But, but if the flow stops they describe feeling like they are in dark empty void. So, they are constantly hunting for what researchers call the “Narcissistic supply" of other people’s emotions, to feed themselves and fill their void. Do you know someone personally or any celebrities or public figures life that must have constant attention? Do you know anyone who acts out, attacks and or creates tension and drama, pitting people against each other and dividing people? Harvey Weinstein is perfect example of someone who craved attention and drama.

Psychopaths/Malignant Narcissists (PN"S) search for “Narcissistic Targets"/ "Narcissistic Victims" that can give those lots of attention and emotion.  At some point a healthy target who is associated with a Psychopath/Narcissist may see the Psychopath/Narcissists for who they really are. Their "Narcissistic Mask” will come down. Being revealed for who they really are is Psychopath/Malignant Narcissists
biggest fear so they are prepared for this. It has happened to them before. Their false self-image/mask is everything to them. They must bribe, threaten, cast off and or destroy anyone who knows threatens their false self.  

If the target is a threat thetypically becomes the victim of a "Smear campaign" or "Character Assassination" to destroy their ability to be what the target should be, a credible source of truthful information about the Psychopath/Malignant Narcissists. 
Remember the PN gains supply from the group and they are terrified of loosing a steady supply so they must not just destroy the target they mus eject the truth know-er from the group/family/work place/political world so that the PN's can continue to gain supply from the group/family/workplace/political/world.

The Character Assignation and or Smear Campaign is carried out by the PN creating 
often vicious lies about the target who has unmasked them. Oddly,they often seem like they are following some play book in their campaign as the lies they plant often are the PNS very behaviors! If they are stalkers of their target they will lie and claim their target is a stalker. If the they use their connections to attack their targets they will lie and claim their target used their connections to attack. If the  PN's are unstable and emotional or crazy they will lie and say their target is crazy. Though they love admiration and attention PN's may even get more supply if they are successful in their character assassination as their victim is made to appear like someone who did them harm and the Psychopath/Narcissists gains a steady supply of sympathy from the group. 

Again the Malignant Narcissists have planned for possible attack by grooming the group long before they assassinate the character of the victim/target. They have 'seeded" (google "Seeding", "Lie seeding") the group with negative information about the target and primed the group gifting them dinners, entry into exclusive parties, clubs, events, trips, jobs. 

If the group allows the Narcissist/Psychopath to get away with attacking the victim/target and lets the attacker stay in the group they show the attacker their bad behaviors will be tolerated. This is called “Normalization” and it eats away at the morals of a group and/or shows that the group has little or no morals. 

The group becomes the Malignant Narcissist tertiary supply and they will create drama in the group, claiming victim-hood and 
saying how badly they were treated by their target!!! Their victim who saw behind the mask is labeled the bad guy. The Malignant Narcissist's continues to feed off the group often by triangulating group members pitting them against each other. The Psychopath/Narcissist craves supply!



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language Experts Analyze Chip and Joanna Gaines' Relationship with Their Children

This story was number 2 on the all the national news feeds! Viral baby! So many hits!!! Oh my gosh its gone crazy.

As we've already pointed out, Chip and Joanna Gaines are the definition of relationship goals. If there's one thing that elevates them to the next level (if there is such a thing), it's their undying love for their four (almost five!) children. The best part? Their kids — Drake, Ella, Duke, and Emmie — reciprocate this love straight back to the Fixer Upper stars.
Unlike some celebrities, Chip and Joanna don't shy away from showing their kids on their show or personal social media accounts. We know about Ella's green thumb, Duke's pickle obsession, and so on. Time and time again, Chip and Joanna gush about parenthood — and their body language reveals that they know exactly what they're doing.
"More than anything, we know that giving and receiving affection is normal in the Gaines' home," body language expert and author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, told GoodHousekeeping.com. As some of us know, not all families are overly — or even mildly — affectionate but the photos prove that they are pros in the hugging, snuggling, and hand holding departments.
The children are relaxed around their parents — even when there's a camera close by. When cuddling on the couch after a hard day at work (remember they don't have cell phones or TV!), Chip and his son fit together like spoons, proving they're a close unit. "When they're on the couch together, Chip's son is also modeling his mother's typical hand holding behavior," she says. "He latches on to Chip's arm as a means of stability." Like mother, like son.
Even though they have their hands full running a number of businesses, Chip and Joanna work hard to give their children a simple (and balanced) life. While we see their kids on their show, it's apparent that they also keep their kids on set away from the camera lens. "Joanna is clearly in sync with her daughter," says Wood. "Her daughter's heels are inside of her mom's feet, which symbolizes her sense of closeness and connection."
The duo also encourage their children to be curious and playful. They live on a farm without technology, so creativity is paramount. "When their daughter is reaching for the camera, you can see that Chip and Joanna want her to explore and are happy that she is doing so," she says. The kids aren't acting out as a response to their parent's lack of attention but rather because they know their parents always keep an eye on them, no matter how busy they might be.
Yes, Chip is the goofy one in the bunch (don't discredit JoJo though!), but he's also a loving and affectionate man. "He repeats similar behaviors with his wife and his daughters," explains Wood. "Here, he's cradling and kissing his daughter's head like a baby while she gives her weight — and heart — to him." The serene look in her face is proof that she's comfortable exactly where she is — right in her father's arms.
And it seems like the boys are smitten with their momma.
Foot rubs are a type of physical touch that tend the heart just as much as aching feet. "Foot rubs are a means of connection," says Wood. "By rubbing his mom's feet, he's showing her that he recognizes how hard she works to provide for him and his siblings." This simple — and adorable — action is a stress reliever and a way to bring the child closer (literally) to the parent.
More than anything, we know that Chip and Joanna put family over everything. Despite their kid's different ages and interests, they always appear as a single family unit — even if they're all running off in different directions. "A simple thought like having one blanket out on the lawn is proof that they pride themselves in doing everything as a unit," she says.
Once again, these two are a testament that love makes all the difference — at home and on TV.
http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/entertainment/news/a47571/chip-joanna-gaines-parenting-body-language/


http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/entertainment/news/a47552/chip-and-joanna-gaines-body-language/


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Prince William & Kate Middleton's Body Language Reveals Their Love Is So Passionate In Private


The world's obsession with British royalty never made sense to me for the longest time. As far as I was concerned, they were just rich folks who lived across the pond and wore fancy hats. But then, I watched The Crown and everything changed. Yep, I caught royals fever bad. Now, I totally get the desire for a peek behind the Buckingham curtain, especially at the dynamics of the couples currently residing there. While Prince Harry and Megan Markle are pretty openly affectionate, Prince William and Kate Middleton's body language is a bit trickier to read. That's because their role demands they be more professional and less overtly affectionate in public. To break down their dynamic, I enlisted the help of Patti Wood, author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, to help decode the subtle clues about William and Kate's relationship that the two are giving off without even realizing it.  

You may think that the couple’s tradition of not showing any PDA might hinder Wood's read on the duo, but in fact, it actually helps to illuminate the degree of connection between them: "Whenever I’m doing a read, I want the baseline to know what’s normal and that actually informs my read," says Wood. "I look at their norm, and typically, they are not touching each other. They’re not standing super close, so we're already looking at anomalies that are different from their baseline, so that makes what they're doing even more significant."

So what do these anomalies tell us about William and Kate? Here's what Wood sees.

1. They Are Affectionate In Private And Laugh Together Often
To decipher the above image, Wood starts at the bottom and works her way up, beginning with the Kate’s hand. “One of the things that’s significant there is … that her fingers and the way that she is holding her hands is actually holding a lot of tension. If you look at the veins and the way the fingers are curled, it’s very awkward and tension-filled instead of having the hands relaxed out,” says Wood. “What I believe that indicates is that she would normally reach for him and she’s stopping herself. And there is a lot of tension in her hand to stop that reach and touch.”

Further evidence of the couple’s closeness here is what Wood calls “overlap,” which is they way that William's arm is just slightly over Kate's, creating a slight overlap in their bodies. “The reason that’s significant is … overlap is a way to show that couples are unified — that they want to be seen as one, [and] that they are connected,” she says.

However, Wood’s favorite bit of evidence of their connection is actually in the couple’s faces, specifically how in sync their expressions are. “If you look at their smiles, all the way up from their chin to their foreheads, they are a match and mirror for each other. So if you look at their faces, even if you overlapped them, you will see their chin is in the same position, the teeth are in the same position, the lips are in the same position, the folds around the nose to the chin — they’re in the same position,” says Wood. “That level of matching and mirroring in a couple — especially with joyful moments — shows that they laugh together often and that they care for and love each other.

2. They Have A Passionate Love Connection
This second image offers hints about the couple’s romantic connection. According to Wood, if you want to know how people feel, just look to the angle of their hips. ”If you look at him on the left, see how his body — the lower torso body and then the belly — [is] slightly angled toward her, and her pelvis is slightly angled toward him … that’s called the 'love V,'" says Wood. “It shows a love connection and that’s really, really nice.”

Further up the body, you can see that love connection is reinforced by the way their arms are touching. “They’re having a little moment together. And they want to share that moment together," says Wood. "And if you look at her body straight on up, it’s slightly in toward him, to lean in and give him a little bit of her weight to make that moment happen. It shows they are [sharing] an intimate moment together. It shows they are connected.”

3. They’re A Solid Team
In this last image, Wood sees a couple who form a united team. Despite being separated by seats, they both make efforts to close the gap between them and create a sense of intimacy. “I do like how his leg is crossed toward her, rather than away from her, that includes in and blocks other people out — especially how high the knee is up and over," says Wood. “His hand out over the leg like that — that’s another block to the outside world ... And we can’t see her touch on his arm, but we can see that he’s going in toward it, and the touch is making him happy.” Basically, what all of this says to Wood is, “Let us have our little moment. I’m with her and I’m excluding you out.”

So what’s Wood’s overall assessment of this couple’s dynamic? Well, it appears to be a real love story: “It’s clear that they have a very healthy connection with one another — that publicly they laugh and share intimate moments — and it’s an indication that they do that quite often," she says. "The matching and mirroring specifically shows that they do it quite often because, over time, if you love your partner, you match and mirror.”

Here's to hoping Meghan and Harry build the same strong love connection as Will and Kate clearly have.



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Group Narcissism, Narcissistic Supply, Character Assassination, Smear Campaign, Lie Seeding and Narcissists.

called group narcissism

Group Narcissism, Narcissistic Supply, Character Assassination, Smear Campaign, Lie Seeding and Narcissists. Groups act as a  Narcissistic Supply feeding a Narcissists with emotions, love admiration, tension, drama. It is all very delicious supply for the Narcissists.

If you are a victim/target of a Narcissists in a group you can't win. If you see them for their true self instead of their masks false self they must eliminate you. They will destroy your character with lies, and gossip behind your back, assassinate your good character, smear you and try to get the group to ostracize you.  The entire group will show its character in how they treat you during the attack. If they don't don't make healthy moral choices they too many become unmasked. (See below group narcissism.

https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-to-do-when-a-narcissist-swiftly-replaces-you-and-flaunts-their-new-supply/  War doesn't work. Whenever we push back against (The narcissists) something, all it ever does is energies it, confirm it more and feed it energy to push back harder.
We are never going to eliminate abuse and narcissists by doing that ….
Narcissists are pathologically unconscious. The narcissist has no ability to go inwards, face and deal with original wounds and up-level the very reasons as to why he or she projects inner wounds onto others and blames people for them. The narcissist is not going to heal his or her original inner wounding and break the vicious self-defeating cycle of trying to gain validation of self from the outside.
We will never force the narcissist to, and we will never protect people by focusing intense energy on narcissists.
The only remedy we ever have is to heal our own unconsciousness so that we are never again a match for another unconscious person.
When enough people do that – narcissists will no longer be able to groom “the outside” for supply. Conscious people simply do not get picked off by energetic predators.
You can only get picked off by a narcissist if you have.
In group narcissism, we see a parallel phenomenon: an unquestioning loyalty and admiration for the group and its ideals and an intense fervor in the persecution of any person who questions the authority of the overarching ideals of the group. Now, as Fromm explains, “[an] individual, unless he is mentally very sick, may have at least some doubts about his personal narcissistic image. The member of the group has none since his narcissism is shared by the majority” (ibid., p.204). So here we see the reason why narcissistic individuals show a tendency to gather together in groups: it works as protection and amplification of their own narcissism. One would expect the narcissist to be ‘above’ such social conformity, but, actually, this often represents a stepping up of his pathology. It is also gratifying to the weak and untalented narcissist since he becomes a giant by belonging to the group.
Its devotees are often mistaken for nice fellows, who are socially mature and respectful towards other people. Nothing could be further from the truth. It is a chimera. Such people are only providing for their own narcissism by way of reflection in the group. Scratch on the surface, and a nasty intolerance appears. Many psychologists tend to view the social group as an ideal for the individual to attain. It’s an oversimplification. They are blind to the fact that there is a pathological version of social life 



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Seeding, Lie Seeding, Gossip, Talking Behind Someone's Back, Tool of Narcissists, Priming, Character Assassination. Smear Campaign.

Lying as a Tool of A Narcissists.

I speak on body language and how to deal with difficult people including Narcissists.

Seeding, Lie Seeding, Gossip, Talking Behind Someone's Back, Tool of Narcissists, Priming
Character Assassination Smear Campaign.

Narcissists, Sociopath and Psychopaths are void of true emotions so they must be fed by other peoples emotions.That is their supply. They play many games to gain supply including putting other people down and talking behind their backs to make themselves feel in control and superior. They love to gossip!  They may even make themselves look like kind helping people by saying, "That poor Sarah have you noticed how she has gained/lost weight?" "I am worried about her she seems depressed" Thus, they get to look like they are a normal concerned person, while manipulatively putting down someone else. Slowing the group that is seeded with such comments begins to look for anything amiss is the target and the unknowing target may feel the judgement and it effects their behavior creating a negative cycle game, to the amusement and sustenance of the sick attacker.

Narcissists, Sociopath and Psychopaths  have a false self, a mask that they present to the world.
Typically that Mask is of a Fine Upstanding Citizen, Good Morals, Married, Successful with the trapping of Success, beautiful spouse and children, big house. (Google Narcissists, Mask, False Self
 for more details." If that false image is threatened in any way they sick individual will attack their unmasked. They will seed/ prime the group ahead of this possible unmasking.

"Lie Seeding… the process of planting a few lies to inspire doubt on what is the real truth… unsubstantiated with any real evidence to back the claims… spread for a purpose to make it seem that what is TRUTH is really lies.  To mess with your mind. 

Lie seeding… is the practice of planting lies (if you don’t understand a lie is unsubstantiated gossip with no proof you have bigger issues) by spreading rumors to your friends and those closest to you… to HURT you in some way.  It’s not new… it’s been going on since high school…  I pity those who practice this… I also will not be your victim.  If you want to do this… or believe in anything that is said by those who perpetrate it… stay away from me.  I have much better things to do with my time than put up with it.

If you’re the victim of “lie seeding”… just clear out your so-called friends account… and find people who will take you as you are… with all the faults… and still thing more highly of you than what people will say behind your back when spreading lies.  There will always be someone saying something about you without a shred of proof… it’s life.  What you can do… is take your power back and not stay in their world." 



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.