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The Body Language Mistakes You Don't Realize You're Making at Work, According to Experts

You met deadlines and put in extra hours at work—yet you still haven’t landed that coveted promotion or cultivated meaningful connections with coworkers. Could it be your body language that’s holding you back?
When it comes to communication, “you might be saying one or two words, but giving off thousands of nonverbal cues,” says body language expert and author Patti Wood. These nonverbal cues, which include everything from your posture to your expression, are crucial to any interaction—and it’s especially important to project the correct cues at work, she says.
Even with so much at stake, experts say we’re often completely unaware of a whole host of body language faux pas we’re committing in the workplace. Here are some common ones—and how to correct them:

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The Non-verbal Clues That Indicate Your Relationship May Be Coming To An End

More often than not, you can tell when a relationship you’re in is going to end.
Whether something prompted the breakup or the love has simply faded over time, there are usually signs that indicate your partner is no longer invested in the relationship.
Unfortunately, these signs are not always verbal - rather, they can be subtle changes in body language that warn of the inevitable split.
To know what signs to look for, we spoke to author and body-language expert Patti Wood, who described four non-verbal clues that suggest everything is not smooth-sailing.
According to Wood, the “most important indication is a change in non-verbal clues.
“If you know what normal, happy, healthy is in a relationship when things change even small changes in non-verbal cues can be telling,” she told us.
One of the most important things to be aware of, and one of the “basic foundational principles of body language,” is that you “go towards what you like and you retreat from or run away from what you don’t like,” according to Wood.
If the norm was for your partner to lean in as you spoke, a healthy sign in a relationship, and now they are leaning away or reverting when you come near, it may be an indicator something is off in the relationship.
Wood also advises being aware of the time spent together - and apart.
Although it is normal for schedules to become busier, couples should want to spend time together.
If this changes, becoming anything from “not spending weekend days with you that they did before or coming home late or leaving for work early,” and there is no other “external cause,” according to Wood, it might be worth speaking to your partner.
Another possible indicator is eye contact, or a lack thereof.
Body language: Eyelids speak louder than words

“As basic as it is, when somebody loves you they like looking at you,” Wood told us. “If there’s a sudden change in the amount of time they spend looking at you and making eye contact with you,” it is not a good sign.
Finally, “touch is a powerful communicator so changes in the number of times they touch you or the location they touch you are telling,” said Wood.
If your partner used to love holding your hand but suddenly has no interest in physical contact, their body may be telling you something that they haven't verbally said. 
Whether they are made consciously or not, non-verbal clues can be an important indicator of the health of your relationship. 



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language Habits That are Hard to Quit but You'll be Glad You Did!

It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

It's a cliché, but it's true. Body language is a crucial part of communicating. The way you act can warp the entire meaning of what you're saying.

That being said, bad body language habits are the often hardest habits to break. We become so accustomed to slouching, averting our eyes, or folding our arms that we barely even notice what we're doing.
Here are several body language mistakes that are going to be tough to ditch. Still, if you're able to quit them, you'll definitely thank yourself later.

Fidgeting
If you've gotten into the habit of fidgeting, it can be difficult to snap out of it. But it's important to take steps to reigning in this nervous habit.
Fidgeting demonstrates nervousness and a lack of power, as body-language expert and The Power of Body Language author Tonya Reiman previously told Business Insider.

Leave your hair alone. Constantly running your hands across your scalp and twirling your locks is pretty distracting. Plus, as ABC reported, it can damage your hair overtime. It can be hard to quit, so try playing around a stress ball instead of your hair.

Adopting a defensive pose
Many people naturally cross their arms or hunch over a bit just because they don't know what to do with their hands.
However, this posture can make you look uncomfortable, defensive, or untrustworthy.

“You should always keep your hands in view when you are talking,” Patti Wood, a body- language expert and author of “ SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma,” previously told Business Insider. When a listener can't see your hands, they wonder what you are hiding.“

Doing weird things with your hands
To gesture or not to gesture? That is the question. Some people keep too still while speaking, while others flail all over the place.

As The Washington Post reported, behavioural consultant Vanessa Van Edwards notes that using hand gestures while speaking is actually an effective way to engage your audience.

The trick is, avoiding the hand gestures that will trip you up. Don't point, don't pretend to conduct an imaginary orchestra (seriously), and don't get too choreographed.

Shuffling instead of walking
Humans are pretty judgmental creatures. We think we can tell a lot about someone based on snap judgments over something as simple as their manner of walking.

BBC reported that how we walk can actually determine our risk of being mugged. Criminals are less likely to target people walking with an air of confidence.

It can be hard to change up your walk once you've fallen into bad habits, but it's important to walk with confidence and coordination. Don't shuffle through life.

Forgetting to smile
Reiman previously told Business Insider that smiling demonstrates confidence, openness, warmth, and energy.

“It also sets off the mirror neurons in your listener, instructing them to smile back. Without the smile, an individual is often seen as grim or aloof,” she explained.

Appearing distracted
There's nothing more irritating than talking to someone who's clearly not paying attention to you.

Some people are just naturally distracted or busy, so it can be tempting to check your phone or watch at every available moment. Still, you've got to keep this impulse in check when you're around others. Otherwise, you'll just come across as a rude and uncaring person.

Slouching
Stand up straight. Terrible posture is easy to develop, especially if you're slouched over a desk for the majority of the day.

Slouching doesn't just make you look un-confident, writes Catherine New for Psychology Today, it's also bad for your back. Improve your health and the image you present to the world by standing up straight.

Nonexistent or aggressive eye contact
Here's another body language pitfall where moderation is key.

What Your Body Says (And How to Master the Message) author Sharon Sayler previously told Business Insider that the ideal amount of eye contact should be “a series of long glances instead of intense stares.”
Overly long stares can make whoever you're talking to pretty uncomfortable. On the other hand, averting your eyes indicates disgust or a lack of confidence.

Being too still
It's definitely good not to be jumping all over the place, constantly. However, you don't want to be too eerily calm during conversations. This may make people feel uneasy, or that you're not interested in what they're saying.

Instead, try to mirror the person you're speaking with. Don't mimic them - they'll probably get offended by that - but subtly copy some of their gestures and expressions. Writing for Psychology Today, Dr Jeff Thompson notes that mirroring will leave people perceiving you as positive and persuasive.

It can be tough to break out of your poker face, especially if you're just naturally not that expressive - but it's worth trying, since it can improve how you're perceived.

Mismatching verbal and non-verbal communication
You might be saying all the right things - but if your body language doesn't match up with your words, you might end up rubbing people the wrong way.

In fact, researchers at Sacred Heart University devoted an entire study to this phenomenon. Their subjects were married couples, but their finding was pretty universal — when verbal and non-verbal messages do not align, “nonverbal signals carry the brunt of the emotional message.”


Discussion Questions


  1. What is at least one bad body language habit that you have?
  2. Why is good body language important to someone in ministry?
  3. Share an instance where you mismatched verbal and non-verbal communication. 
  4. Think about a time when you are talking with someone. How has their body language affected your conversation and your response to them?
Link to article - http://www.freshenitup.org/blog/body-language-habits-that-are-hard-to-quitbut-youll-be-glad-you-did

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Trump & Putin's Body Language During Their Meeting with the Press Said A Lot More Than Their Words

Here is a piece I did for Refinery 29 on the encounter between Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin. It was one for the ages! 
On Monday, the two world leaders had a private meeting that lasted hours before coming before reporters for a disastrous press conference in Helsinki, Finland. In it, Trump sided with Russia instead of American intelligence agencies when it came to the issue of the Kremlin influencing the 2016 presidential election, implied the U.S. was to blame for tensions between of both countries and didn't once condemn the Russian regime for its long history of human rights violations. Total normal stuff to do in front of a longtime adversary. Oh, and Putin might have made a reference to the infamous "pee tape."

Trump's remarks and refusal to stand up to Putin drew condemnation from both sides of the aisle, though some Republicans stood behind the president.
"Today’s press conference in Helsinki was one of the most disgraceful performances by an American president in memory," Sen. John McCain said in a highly critical statement.
He added: "No prior president has ever abased himself more abjectly before a tyrant. Not only did President Trump fail to speak the truth about an adversary; but speaking for America to the world, our president failed to defend all that makes us who we are — a republic of free people dedicated to the cause of liberty at home and abroad."
Democrats such as Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer agreed. He said: "Millions of Americans will continue to wonder if the only possible explanation for this dangerous behavior is the possibility that President Putin holds damaging information about President Trump." Sen. Tammy Duckworth went as far as suggesting that Trump has been turned into a Russian asset, "perhaps without his knowledge."
But, the devil is in the details. Refinery29 spoke with Patti Wood, a body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, to decode four major moments of Trump and Putin's encounter.
First off, the pre-meeting appearance the leaders did before the press. In a clip, Trump can be seen winking at Putin.
"He was sitting like he normally sits in an alpha position. I’ve read him in this situation so many times and he did a jacket adjustment, which is something I don’t see very often," Wood said. "It’s an anxiety cue, asking 'How am I looking? Do I look good?' But a wink like that with a full head turn indicates "We’re on this. We have a secret. They don’t know."'
She added: "I won’t editorialize on that."
Wood also had some thoughts on how Putin gave Trump a soccer ball to recognize the U.S. will host the 2026 World Cup. Two things that she found interesting were how Putin handed the ball to Trump and the latter's reaction to the gesture.


"To me that was interesting because typically when you see a presentation of a soccer ball there’s a toss-off. Instead, he very politely walked out of the podium and handed it to Trump," she said. "It was an accommodating way [to do so]."
She added: "[Trump] did the photo op, but he didn’t take it very seriously. You can tell from his facial expression and manner that he was kind of embarrassed and it was not very important to him. This was emphasized by the fact he said he was gonna give it to his son [Barron.] He was also not a lot in touch with [his wife] Melania. When he tossed the ball, it was not a good toss because it seemed she was not expecting it and therefore didn’t catch it. The whole interaction told me he thought, This is sort of silly and that he’s not a soccer fan."
The issue of the elusive "pee tape" — the allegation that the Kremlin has a secretly-recorded tape of Trump involving sex workers he hired to urinate on the bed the Obamas slept in during their visit to Moscow — was also brought up during the conference.
"Let me tell you this, when President Trump was in Moscow back then, I didn't even know that he was in Moscow," Putin said. "I treat President Trump with utmost respect, but back then when he was a private individual, a businessman, nobody informed me that he was in Moscow."
He added a hypothetical: "Let's take the St. Petersburg economic forum, for instance. There were over 500 American businessmen, high ranking, high level ones. I don't even remember the last names of each and every one. Do you think that we try to collect compromising material on each and every single one of them? Well, it's difficult to imagine on a bigger scale than this. Please disregard these issues and don't think about this anymore again."
The Russian president never denied having compromising information about Trump.
According to Wood, this was one of the most curious exchanges between the press and the two leaders. What struck her was the long period of silence following the question. "Silence is a powerful communicator. It was a sanction to the reporter, she said. "It was almost a punishment as sort of saying to the reporter, 'That's enough.'"
She also pointed out at Trump's reaction when the question came up. "Trump looks down and gives this very interesting upside down smile. It's a joker smile — there's a mischievousness in his eyes about it," she said, adding that Trump was trying to look amused even though he wasn't. "He's withholding his emotions. Then, he does the body turn again to Putin. It's showing they have an intimacy and they're in this together."

For Wood, Putin's body language showed that he was uncomfortable with the 
question. "He touched his ear and turns down his head in a way. That particular signal shows [he's thinking], I don't like what I hear."



Putin probably didn't like that they were questioned about the Kremlin's interference in the 2016 presidential election, which both leaders have long denied.
Wood pointed out that Trump's body language didn't agree with the statements he was making. "He said, "It's not Russia" but he is saying it with a backward head jerk and his eyes closed. That movement doesn't show congruence with the statement."
In a tweet sent from the president's account, Team Trump seemed to try to mend the aftermath of his comments.
"As I said today and many times before, 'I have GREAT confidence in MY intelligence people.' However, I also recognize that in order to build a brighter future, we cannot exclusively focus on the past – as the world’s two largest nuclear powers, we must get along!"

The language of the tweet was uncharacteristic. But then again, so was his meeting with the Russian dictator.

Link to article https://www.refinery29.com/2018/07/204518/trump-putin-press-conference-helsinki-summit-meeting

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Online First Impressions Are More Negative than Face to Face First Impressions.

Some of you know one of my areas of research and one of my body language books and my most popular keynote speech is on first impressions. I do research and consult on my clients business first impression and one of the things you may not know is that online your first impression is likely to be perceived more negatively.
“If you want to make a good impression, it is critical that it is done in person,” said Jeremy Biesanz, Ph.D., of the University of British Columbia, who conducted three studies comparing the accuracy and bias of first impressions when formed under different circumstances.
The first study analyzed a series of experiments involving more than 1,000 participants who met each other through either a three-minute speed-dating style interview or by watching a video of the person.
“What we observe here is that the accuracy of impressions is the same when you meet someone face to face or simply watch a video of them,” Biesanz said. “However, impressions are much more negative when you form impressions more passively through watching videotapes.”
While people could accurately attribute certain personality traits, such as extroverted, arrogant, or sociable, to others in person or by video, the magnitude of the positive attributes was lower via video, while the negatives attributes were higher.
The researchers found similar results in two other studies, including one that compared in-person impressions to those obtained by looking at Facebook photos. The other study compared in-person meetings to simply watching someone as a passive observer. In all cases, the passive means of making impressions were as accurate as the active ones, according to the researchers.
“However, there is an extremely large difference in the positivity of impressions,” he said. “More passive impressions are substantially more negative.”



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.