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How Can a Group Accept and Even Defend a Member in the Group with Despicable Behavior?

As many of you know as a body language expert I write and speak to my corporate clients about honesty, integrity, and credibility as well as deception, narcissism, and psychopathology. 

I have a chapter in my forthcoming book about how other people respond to “dark triad” behaviors like Malignant Narcissism and it struck me that most people don't understand how a group can they tolerate someone. they know has done great harm. How can it happen? In group narcissism, we see an unquestioning loyalty and admiration for the group and an intense fervor in the persecution of any person who questions the authority of the overarching ideals of the group. The group will do anything to ignore any bad behavior of their fellow narcissists, give him a pass and then another pass, normalize unhealthy behaviors bullying, abusive and dangerous behavior. They will defend one of their own kind, for fear of losing the group. They will even attack any innocent person or persons who threaten the group status quo. The group is their breath, their life, their sustenance, their "supply." In the presence of other narcissists, who reflect back “like” behaviors they don't see their dark selves. In the group, they are whole and belong. They may see damage in others, yet it only serves to make them feel superior. And in fact, their very acceptance of the dark damage in their fellow tribe members may make them think they are good people! They don’t consider the fact that in a healthy group dark damage behavior are called out as unacceptable. 

Fromm explains, “[an] individual narcissist, who is out on his own, comparing himself to normal people may see he lacks a moral core unless he is mentally very sick, he may have at least some doubts about his image. But, if he joins a group that has other narcissists, he has none, since his narcissism is shared by the majority” (ibid., p.204). They feed each other giving each other narcissistic supply. If they lose members, they will seek out new supply, some just like them, or "Empaths" (honest trusting people) the group can use and abuse. Narcissists love the "supply" being in a group gives them. "...it works as protection and amplification of their own narcissism.” One would expect the narcissist to be ‘above’ such social conformity, but this group represents a “stepping up.” of his pathology. It is also gratifying to the weak and untalented narcissist since he becomes a giant by belonging to the group."


"The group members are often mistaken for nice fellows, who are socially mature and respectful towards other people. Nothing could be further from the truth. It is a chimera. Such people are only providing for their own narcissism by way of reflection in the group. Scratch on the surface, and a nasty intolerance appears.” (They will gossip about and stab members in the back) 


Many psychologists tend to view the social group as an ideal for the individual to attain. What is true is that a healthy group filled with loving honest caring people is the ideal. But, as you know, marriage is an ideal as well and there are unhealthy abusive marriages, in which an abusive spouse may brag about his great marriage He gains social status from being in marriage that is not what it seems. In the same way there are group members, who brag about their group membership that are in toxic groups, pathological version of bonding called group narcissism. 


So if you have read this far, you may get a greater understanding of why some political party members may cling to their group memberships, some church or teams or clubs may do anything to protect the group even if it means or protecting a member known abusing women and known pedophiles.  So, what can you do?


Think of your tribe first. Are you speaking well of or badly about others behind their backs? Does your group allow constant complaining? Is their complaining without positive action that creates positive change? Is their anger mongering, shouting, shutting people down, bullying, gossiping, name calling, sexual discrimination, judging? Do members talk badly about others behind their back? What do you think is ok? What are you accepting?

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.


     

Meghan Markle & Prince Harry's Body Language With Beyonce & JAY-Z Was A Mixed Bag


The Lion King premiere brought two of the world's most iconic power couples together. Meghan Markle and Prince Harry finally crossed paths with Beyoncé and JAY-Z at the film's London debut on Sunday, July 14, and ugh, it was beautiful. Watching the dynamic duos' red carpet interaction made Elite Daily wonder what their movements revealed about their feelings toward the exchange. To better understand Meghan Markle and Prince Harry's body language with Beyonce and JAY-Z, Elite Daily reached out to Patti to gain some insight into their body language ... check the link below:

 Elite Daily Article

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

4 Texting Signals That Mean They're Falling In Love, So Enjoy The Ride

Patti told Elite Daily that "timing is the most important texting factor to consider in assessing someone’s feelings toward you." Check the link below to find out what else she said:

Elite Daily Article

It goes without saying that today, texting plays a pivotal role in our relationships. It provides a quick and convenient way to make date night dinner plans while you're still at work. It also offers a less vulnerable way to flirt with your crush and test the waters. It even gives you a way to stay connected to your SO while they’re on a business trip. But did you know that texting can also impart some invaluable insight into your boo’s feelings, too? In fact, there are certain texting signals that mean they're falling in love.

Of course, texting is not the only way to tell if someone’s falling. And if you’re dating someone who just isn’t into this form of digital communication, then you’ll obviously have a harder time mining your text convos for any hints about where they stand. However, experts say there are certain signals that typically suggest someone’s in deep. Some of them are perhaps more obvious. For example, someone who always responds quickly or sends you texts for no particular reason may definitely be developing some stronger feelings for you. But there are subtler signs to look out for as well.
Wondering whether bae is head over heels for you? Then keep a lookout for one of these telling text habits.
According to Patti Wood, body language expert and author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, timing is the most important texting factor to consider in assessing someone’s feelings toward you.
“What you do first in your day and what you do last has the most truth in it," she tells Elite Daily. “So, if a person’s first thought in the morning is to communicate with you — that says a lot.”
It’s not just those good morning and goodnight texts that matter, either. If your boo happens to check in during an afternoon lunch break or is quick to respond to your mid-day message, that’s a great sign, too.
If you’ve ever noticed that your SO tells you what they have planned for the day or divulges what happened at the office without any prompting, experts say that’s a strong indicator that they may be falling for you. Why? Because they want you to know more about them, and they’re inviting you into their world.
“You might not realize it, but filling you in on even the mundane things — that’s significant,” says Wood. “Openly sharing information with you — without you even asking for it — there’s so much intimacy in that.”
Does your crush or current partner have special greetings or nicknames they use when they text you? Or, have they developed inside jokes with you that they pepper into your conversations? Coming up with this kind of coded language isn't just super flirty. it could mean they’re falling — hard.
“If you feel like it’s unique to you and your conversations, that’s special because no one else would understand it — only you two,” explains Wood.
It makes sense when you think about it. This is one way to reinforce your bond while also separating your conversations from all the rest in their phone. Obviously, you’re special to them — or they wouldn’t bother to set your texts apart by personalizing them.


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language Expert Patti Wood Analyzes Kate Middleton and Prince William's Body Language at Archie's Christening

Patti weighs in on the body language of Kate Middleton and Prince William at Archie's Christening for Good Housekeeping ... check the link below:

Patti's Insights in Good Housekeeping

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Were Prince William and Kate Middleton Uncomfortable at Archie's Christening?


Patti shared her body language insights with InStyle ...check the link below:

InStyle Article

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.