Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog

How to look and feel more attractive Even On Bad Days When Your Feeling Down

How to look and feel more attractive

Be "UP!
Create Attractiveness energy confidence and by moving and holding your body “UP!” If you follow me you know that I created the label UP! to describe all upward posture and movements and facial expressions such as head held up, gestures with up motions. When we are happy our body naturally moves up and holds itself up.

When you hold or move your body the way you would like to feel the posture actually sends a message to the brain, “Hey I am feeling hot, attractive ” As you hold your body the little pharmacy in your brain starts producing the chemicals that match that state, (in as little as a 40th of a second.) and pumps them into your body and you begin to feel up. The combination of your up posture and movement up and chemical "Up" state is felt by those around you. They start to give you attentive nonverbal cues and that makes you feel more attractive. I call this the fake it till you make it technique. You only have to fake it for a fraction of a second before it actually affects how you feel.

Gesture

Attractions is also communicated by gestures. Our eyes are designed to go towards movement so our ancestors could find food when they hunted and prospective romantic partners and others are drawn towards the movement. Also, Research shows that charismatic leaders use gestures four times as many as others do when they talk. Charismatic speakers from Orpah and Martin Luther King from Cesar Chavez to your favorite motivational speaker punctuate almost every sentence with a strong gesture.

Choose how YOU want to feel.
You chose a word that expresses how you want your listener to feel, then choose a word that expresses how YOU would like to feel in a particular situation and then get into a posture that matches it. So if your word is Beautiful or Confident you put your body in an open position, arms away from your body, legs uncrossed, shoulder back, heart forward, extending eye-contact for as long as three seconds, and make your voice go down at the end of sentences. I shared this tip with one of my coaching clients and had him act out his word for a job interview. He chose the word Excitement. He smiled and laughed as he finished doing it. He said that he didn't feel excited at the moment before he started moving his body, he felt afraid. But he said,:"... when I did it was weird" "I brought my shoulders back and smiled and put some energy in my voice. I really did get excited" "It felt like I had just had a big cup of Starbucks."

Lower your voice- a low voice is perceived as more sexy and attractive. In men, it’s a sign of testosterone that makes low voiced men more attractive to women and voices in women are perceived in the emotional center of the brains in men and low and soft voices are interpreted as more attractive.

By the way, we tend to tighten the vocal chords when we are tense and the high, sometimes screechy sound does not sound sexy so move up your body language but bring down your voice.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

What makes and Inspirational Charismatic Leader

Inspirational leaders often are shown in research to be high on the “Charismatic Factors.” For example, in the US the popular vote tends to go to the most Charismatic Candidate. The four first impression factors are credibility likeability attractiveness and power and the last three likeability attractiveness and power form Charisma. I discuss at length in my book SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma that charismatic people are shown to have the ability to lead, motivate and persuade people to action.

When you really look at charismatic people those that inspire they often have the power/alpha characteristics tall and broad, big gestures, and deep-voiced and an intense gaze just borderline of staring, (but what charismatic people do has they put in not just the "power" the aspect of eye contact but the likability of smiling and nodding,) Interpersonally that gaze and intense focus make the Charismatic person makes the person they are talking to feel mesmerized, as if they are special an It’s interesting that it’s often how they make the other person or other people feel that identifies them as charismatic, which I think is one of the magical secrets about it.
If you act interested in others, they’ll have a better impression of you, which is why charismatic people also happen to be great listeners. Holding eye contact, leaning in, ignoring their phone, giving the person their total focus even if it's for a short handshake and a one-minute conversation.
They are also talented at drawing out information from others by being superior listeners (They can talk a lot but when they listen, they really listen) They ask questions and want to know about you. They often tend to be great at matching and mirroring the nonverbal cues of the person they are with so again the person feels valued and totally understood. They can often match the zeitgeist or the emotion of the room, client, audience, country. For example leaders like Hitler, used anger which has shown to be the strongest persuasive emotion, that mirrored a segment of the population to inspire them to follow him.

Charismatic inspirational leaders often have ‘Emotional contagion,” meaning very strong, very clearly communicated emotions, and those emotions transfer to the listeners So, we can’t stop watching them when they speak. And inspirational leader’s ability to show and communicate a broad range of emotions that translate into perceived power and charisma.

You will notice that charismatic leaders don’t have to be credible. In fact, when someone is highly charismatic, it overrides our brain's ability to detect whether or not they are credible. We can’t tell if they are honest or not. So charismatic people have superpowers they can use for good or evil. In a research study on the effects of charisma on politics, the researchers found that people with charisma are able to gracefully persuade us to buy from them, vote for them and (as charismatic leaders like Kennedy and Clinton have shown) mate with them. But authentic body language where the words and the nonverbal cues are shown to communicated honesty. The limbic brain can decern when someone is dishonest.

Take Care,

Patti

What Does Resting Face and Resting Bitch Face Mean, Body Language Expert Patti Wood Explains Resting Face

Here is an article I contributed to as a body language expert. I love that many years ago I created the term resting face and now it's part of the national consciousness!

I woke up this morning with two creases between my eyebrows that were so deep, they might as well have been independently memorizing the philosophies of Nietzsche to share at an upcoming dinner party. This state of perma-furrow, thanks to some weird sleeping position I vow to never repeat, left me actually feeling frustrated rather than my everyday situation of just looking frustrated. You see, because I suffer from resting bitch face (RBF), I don’t need additional features or accessories to make me come across as less friendly—with the operative words here being “come across as.” That’s because I’m not actually unfriendly—it’s just, you know, the way my resting face looks. What I wish everyone would realize, though, when parsing answers to the question of what does RBF mean and what does it not is that there are many ways to convey emotions, and not all of them rely on what your face is doing. supporting my contention that having RBF really has little if anything to do with actually having the attitude of a B is a recent study by Ohio State University, which points out that facial expressions don’t always show the full spectrum of what a person is feeling. So, what does RBF mean if not conveying a sense that the person sporting the expression is angry, unenthused, and unwelcoming? To help me fight the good fight against RBF stigma, below, a body-language expert explains the demystifies why RBF is received the way it is.

What does RBF mean, according to a body-language pro?

1. RBF IS ROOTED IN A SMILE—BUT NOT A GREAT ONE

“Your face can make over 10,000 different expressions and over 50 different kinds of smiles, and RBF is actually a smile of contempt,” says Patti Wood, body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma. “Contempt is a feeling that a person or thing is beneath consideration, worthless, and deserving of scorn. When someone feels contempt, they often feel superior to others, though people in subordinate power positions can feel contempt to their superiors.”

What this amounts to is a kind-of crooked smile, or even a slight sneer. “What you are seeing is one side of the lip pulled back slightly or a very slight raising the outside corners of the mouth and freezing in place,” she says. “The lack of symmetry of the mouth is seen by others not just as unattractive, but that there is something wrong that is being hidden. It alerts the viewers central nervous system to be on guard and creates a stress response,” says Wood.

2. NEUTRAL OR NOT, RBF STILL CONVEYS AN EMOTION

“The broader category of ‘resting face’ is the typically neutral expressions a face shows when not actively showing an emotion,” says Wood. “But because your facial expressions actually do move muscles in your face, whatever emotions you show the most may form expressions. Interestingly, it can be the emotion a person believes they are actually suppressing.”

“‘Resting face’ is the neutral expression of not showing an emotion. But because facial expressions move muscles in your face, whatever emotions you show the most may form expressions.” —Patti Wood, body-language expert

So a neutral-seeming RBF might still be showcasing some trace elements of feelings you’ve pushed down in the past. While you might not actually be angry or feel negatively at all, if you’re one to push down feelings of contempt or frustration or sadness, that maybe what’s showing. That is, even if your face is relaxed, it still shows traces of emotion. And to take it a step further, the expression might inform what you’re currently feeling. “Think of it as like the lingering effects of a lot of alcohol in your body: You will feel it even if you haven’t had a drink in hours,” Wood says.

3. RBF IS INTERPRETED DIFFERENTLY BASED ON GENDER

Men experience RBF at the same rate as women, but when men make the expression, they’re perceived more so as powerful rather than, well…bitchy, Wood says, adding that “smiling differs in males and females.”

4. YOU CAN MINDFULLY SHIFT YOUR RBF

“Do resting-face check-ins throughout the day and self-correct,” says Wood. “Look in the mirror in the morning and throughout the day, and check on the cues that show RBF. Change your expression to be what you feel comfortable showing. You don’t have to smile if you don’t want to.” To be clear, that means there’s no need to fake smile, ever.

https://www.wellandgood.com/good-advice/what-does-rbf-mean/?fbclid=IwAR2pQOXy6Csiv3IfI0I8_E7ehkbLFumYDSBhDYUtuFp5AMMsMSeZrU8kKdk

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

A Body Language Expert Analyzes Historical Photos, Body Language Expert Patti Wood

Other than the read I did of Melania was an entirely different photo than the one they used so that the reader has nothing to do with their new photo and is totally inaccurate this story turned out great! I have asked them to change the first photo to the one I actually analyzed and hope they make the change.

Here is the link to the body language story.

https://www.rd.com/culture/body-language-iconic-photos/page/2/?fbclid=IwAR2LFuX7znOQa8cojlwBcF_dkQf6J4h9L5tCCNfNMhbT415TDwQoEbsu5Dg

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

What Is a Resting Bitch Face, What it means and What You Can do About it, Body Language Expert Patti Wood give you RBF tips.

1. Your face can make over 10,000 different expressions and over 50 different kinds of smiles and RBF is actually a smile of contempt.

2. Contempt is a feeling that a person or thing is beneath consideration, worthless and deserving of scorn. When someone feels contempt, they often feel superior to
others, though interestingly people in subordinate power positions can feel contempt for their superiors. Contempt is a sign of annoyance and sometimes a sign of anger and you can see therefor why seeing someone showing is disturbing.

3. What you are seeing is one side of the lip pulled back slightly or a very slight raising of the just the outside corners of the mouth and freezing in place (may appear as a slight sneer) and the eyes squinting slightly or a tightening around the eye and sometimes the addition of the “lines of focus” above the bridge of the nose wrinkling. It there is the one side up a form of RBF it indicates that the limbic system is showing the true emotion of contempt while the neocortex is
trying to suppress it and the lack of symmetry of the mouth is seen by others not just as unattractive but that there is something wrong that is being hidden and it alerts the viewer's central nervous system to be on guard and creates a
stress response.

4. The broader category of “Resting face” is the typically neutral expressions a face shows when you are not actively showing emotion but because of your facial expression
actually do move muscles in your face whatever emotions you show the most may form expressions that someone feels often. Interestingly it can be the emotion that a person believes they are actually SUPPRESSING!” So people with RBF may insist that at that moment when they are showing RBF that they are NOT “angry” or feeling negative about a person or topic what is showing on their face is the thousands of times they have felt contempt/anger/negatively. 

Whatever expression your face shows even if it's just a hint of expression that expression sends the message to your brain to feel the matching emotion and
create the matching chemicals to RBF sends “prescription” to the brain to feel contempt/anger/disproval. Think of it as, like the lingering effects of a lot of alcohol in your body, you will feel it even if you haven’t had a drink in hours.

5. Though RBF is not gender-specific people often think of it as being a female expression and judges harshly in women. Research shows men give RBF just as much as women, but the expression is perceived as making the men seem more
powerful.  

6. There are gender differences in how RBF is perceived that are complex. Smiling differs in males and females with boys reducing big teeth showing smiles about the age of
five and girls starting to smile more than the body in mixed-gender groupings starting in about fourth grade. Women smile more often socially to be liked and to increase the community. High-Status people smile less. Men who smile less have been shown to have more testosterone. Research shows that men are most sexually attracted to women who looked happy and are more uncomfortable around
women who aren’t smiling. The United States, there is a greater sex difference among Caucasians in smiling, but this difference virtually disappears among African Americans. Men are often uncomfortable when a woman who typically
smiles in not smiling. (I believe men who say, "why aren't you smiling?" are concerned that a non-smiling woman may be angry or trying to assert power if she is not smiling.

7. If you have RBF and want to get rid of it there are things you can do it.  

Get Botox in the little V frown lines above your nose. Those lines just make you look angry
they create that “prescription” for the anger that I mentioned in 4. If you have that one lip that is asymmetrical you can get Botox to correct it as well. There are some subtle makeup tricks to help as well look for video tutorials on those. 

Do resting face check-ins throughout the day and self-correct. Look in the mirror in the morning and throughout the day and check on the cues that show RBF and change
your expression to be at what you feel comfortable showing. You don’t have to smile if you don’t want to. Also do check in on how you are feeling as you go into important interactions and see if you can change your mood to what is optimal for the interaction. Do you want to feel confident, recall a situation in your life when you feel exhilarated and filled with confidence and as you recall it your brain will reproduce the matching chemicals? The same goes for happiness or other emotions. Research also shows that listening to music or
singing or even imagining your self-hearing or singing a song that contains the emotion you want to feel, or show can create it so you RBF disappears. But, remember you typically have it, because you have felt it a lot so it's not going
to disappear forever with one round of singing out Walking on Sunshine or Pharrell Williams Happy.

8. If you see someone showing RBF remember (especially guys) that being told to smile is supremely annoying. It’s condescending, for one. And it can make the non-smiler
angry because at some level it’s a request that they diminish their power.

Patti Wood,
a body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First
Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma and has conducted research on smiling
in the US and Canada.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

Patti Wood, a body language expert and author of

Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma and has conducted research on smiling in the US and Canada.