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How Do You Know If You're an Introvert? Being and Introvert in and Extroverted World.


1. At what point in your life did you realize that you were an
Introvert? When I was an undergrad student in Nonverbal Communication at Florida State or Dean of Communication, Dean Clevenger came into our classes to give us the Myers Briggs test. I tested as an extrovert, but when we had our meeting about my results, he told me I was an introvert and why he knew that. Including that I loved going to study in the library every night! He said he wanted me to know I was, in actuality, an introvert. He said he knew I thought it was better to be an extrovert had unknowingly skewed my answers on my Myers Briggs test to be an extrovert. He said he had done the same thing when he first took the test, and he was an introvert. He said, "I know you want to go to grad school, and I want you to know you will thrive because of your intelligence and introversion." Dean Clevenger said, "Be proud of the fact that you gain energy from being alone and don't judge yourself by the Extrovert world standard." He gave me some of the best insights and advice I have ever received that day, and he went on to be a mentor, and later offered me a partnership in a  consulting business he had with another professor. To this day, I hold him to be one o the most exceptional human beings I have ever know. He was a man of strong character and morals and kindness.

2. Did people ever give you a hard time because of your introversion? My mother gave me a hard time my entire childhood and adult life because I was an introvert, and she was an extrovert, and she thought there was something horribly wrong with me. As a child, I was chastised for as she said, "… always having my head in a book." She would constantly berate me for reading and would even rip my book out of my hand and tell me to go out and play with other kids.  Later she wanted me to go down to the clubhouse to the bar and meet a nice divorced man. Even when I was visiting her on my grad school vacations and had textbooks on statistics, I was studying, and she wanted me to go down to the bar and meet a nice man. I never went to the club or bar, that would have been agony for my introverted personality.  This judgment of me was one of the reasons I was so grateful to my Dean for explaining. It was great to be introverted, and there was nothing wrong with me.

 3. What strategies have you evolved to fight back?  In both junior high and high school, the school library staff asked me to work at the school library because I checked out more books than any student that they ever had. So I knew that reading was a good actor, so I kept checking out books, and I would read in my room out of sight of my mother!  I became a keen observer of people and carried a little notebook with me wherever I went to write what I saw about people, mostly in the form of poetry and songs. I also kept a journal. In college the dorm at school that was so noisy because we had sixty girls partying on my floor and the doors of everyone's rooms where open because we had airconditioning, I went to the library. I embraced the quiet and the company of other introverts.  

Later I studied and got degrees to become one of the world's top body language experts.  I embraced being a watcher!

4. Tips for people who are struggling to make peace with their introversion?   Find role models who are introverts.  Keep a diary or journal so you can see how full your internal life is.  Notice how often you are at peace when you are by yourself or with close friends and family and let gratitude for that peace wash over you. Embrace the fact that you can be in the present moment and don't have the leave your house to find energy and engagement. 



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

In what circumstances might it be okay to send a breakup text?


In what circumstances might it be okay to send a breakup
Text? n what circumstances might it be okay to send a breakup text?

If your relationship has taken place exclusively in the "virtual world" via texts, phone calls, and or social media," then that is your established form of communication, and it makes sense that's what you would use to end the relationship. If you are concerned or even afraid or your partner's response to a breakout that you think would occur in face to face or a phone call, then, by all means, stay safe and text your desire to end the relationship.  If you have only been dating a brief time and don't feel there is a connection texting your wishes to stop, dating can work. In all other instances, I don't recommend it as it can make ending things far too easy for the texter, and they don't have to deal with the repercussions of their choice. Using a text to stop a serious relationship doesn't give you the full experience of a breakup. Texting goodbye doesn't teach you how to deal with your emotions or how to communicate your feelings nonverbally in an open way, nor does it help you read and deal with the sentiments conveyed nonverbally by the other person. People need to feel what it means to make that choice, so they learn to choose partners more carefully, communicate behaviors that are making them uncomfortable as they occur in relationships, and invest in fixing problems because they know the cost of ending a relationship. 

A sample text you could send someone. 
I am deeply sorry, but I am not feeling what I should be feeling in my heart to continue the relationship. Its nothing you did, its how I think and there is no way to change that. I am grateful for our time together, but I don't wish to continue seeing you or communicating with you. Again, I am sorry.  Bye

 

 


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

What Causes Zoom Fatigue and How Can You Cure Zoom Fatigue - Body Language Expert Patti Wood

I have more insights or feel free to call me at 678-358-6160.

I speak on body language and zoom, including zoom stress and zoom fatigue.

 Rarely do we sit three feet from someone at work for an hour and stare directly at their face. Starring is such a strong cue that it is typically reserved for intimidation and elaborate flirting rituals where the stare calls forth the desired reaction. Being stared at by one person in face to face interactions causes our cortisol levels to rise and may also create an adrenaline rush.  On a zoom call having a zoom room full of people star at us is exhausting.  Also are ours were designed to go towards movement and scan for danger and food, so our limbic brains keep scanning everyone's zoom environment, remaining on high alert. Add to that that research shows we tend the majority of the zoom call looking at our OWN face and being self-critical, and you have a host of problems.

So to help first Stop change your setting on zoom so you don't see your own video, but others can still see you if you are afraid not to view your self use an extra-large double layer of sticky notepaper and put it over your box on your screen so you can lift it to check yourself when you want. I sauternes just not looking at yourself through the whole call will reduce your fatigue.

Next, have an excuse to look down and away from the screen that still lets the group know you are listening. My favorite recommendation is to have a pad or notebook, maybe a fancy leather-bound book that you can open and take notes in. Note-taking has been shown to increase recall because of kinesthetic connections in the brain that are tied to memory, so you also are more likely to remember the meeting.

Finally, getting your fellow zoomers to simply their backgrounds can ease the stress of long calls. Suggest that everyone creates an all-white Virtual background or a simple blue water background that you can switch in and out of. It works best if you have a green screen but it's not required. 

Called the "Gold Standard" of Body Language by the Washington Post and credited in the New York Times for bringing the topic to national attention 



 




Patti Wood, is a true expert. She creates high energy interactive programs, filled with humor, cutting edge information, and valuable "Take Aways." She is the author of nine books, and she speaks and consults with Fortune 500 companies and associations. You see her on National TV shows like Good Morning America, CNN, and FOX News, The History Channel, and The Today Show. She is quoted every week in publications such as The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today, Bloomberg Business Week, Fortune, Good Housekeeping, and USA Today.

 

Called the "Gold Standard" of Body Language by the Washington Post and credited in the New York Times for bringing the topic to national attention Patti Wood, is a true expert.She is the author of nine books and she speaks and consults to Fortune 500 companies and associations. You see her on National TV shows like Good Morning America, CNN and FOX news, The History Channel and the Today Show. She is quoted every week in publications such as The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today, Bloomberg Business Week, Fortune, Good Housekeeping, and USA Today.

 

 

 

 

 

Take Care,

 

Patti




Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Zoom Meeting Etiquette

By Patti Wood, Author of SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma

1)     The host should send a zoom meeting link.

2)     Ideally, the link should include the agenda and the first and last names of everyone on the call.

3)     If the meeting is all new people or there are new people, it is proper etiquette to introduce each new person to the group. I will give proper in zoom person introductions later, but because often you have a limited meeting time and or to many people to give time to full introductions I suggest a new zoom etiquette of sending each person name ahead of time plus their job title or something about them and if you can a photo of them along with it. Your goal in etiquette is to make people feel comfortable, recognize the status, and unique qualities of and commonalities between members.

4)     The host should make sure each person knows how to use zoom before the call. They can send a how-to video and or do a dry run with the new member of the meeting and or assign someone else the task for making sure new members are comfortable with the technology.

5)     The host ideally makes sure each member knows how to dress and has the appropriate “background” for the call, follows security measures.

6)     The host should know how to follow security measures, allow guests in and know how to mute, or deal with video issues.

7)     The host should be first on and last off the zoom meeting. If for any reason they need to arrive late or leave early they should arrange ahead to give the host/meeting leader responsibilities to someone else. Think of being there as people get on as being at the door to take everyone’s coats and offering refreshments, instead of people standing out in the rain and ringing the doorbell and not being able to get in.

8)     The host should be there early on the call so they can make people feel welcome and overcome that awkward silence that otherwise meeting members may feel when they are not sure they are in the correct meeting or that their technology is working.

9)   May I introduce...? The proper etiquette, rules, tips and guidelines for making introductions.

Using the proper introductions help to establish rapport when meeting people. Yes, they are not always easy, but they are important. And knowing how to introduce people to one another can make you not only more comfortable it can make other people feel more comfortable and make you look more confident!

 

In a very formal setting, you would say, “I would like to present to you....” Otherwise, it is fine to say, “I would like to introduce you to...” or less formally, Mrs.Garmen, Mrs. Tolbight,”
or more informally say Mrs. Jones, you know Mrs. Robinson, don’t you?” Or Sarah have you met Molly. Or Julie do you know my Mother?

In business at formal business, zoom meetings introduce individuals to each other using both first and last names. If you are in a casual zoom meeting it is fine to use first names. "Jim, I'd like you to meet my neighbor, Sarah." Or, very casually, "Sarah, Jim.", "Jim, Sarah".

Whose name do you say first? Though even Miss Manner and Emily Post disagree on whose name comes first I believe you should honor the highest person by saying their name first. So think authority defines whose name is said first. Say the name of the most important person first and then the name of the person being introduced.

Introduce people in the following order:
· Younger to older, “Mrs. Hopkins I would like you to meet my little sister Mary Jones.”
· non-official to the official,”Mr. President I would like you to present to you Mr. John Brown.”
· junior executive to senior executive, ”Mr. Iacocca I would like you to present you to our new junior executive Mr. Sam Horn”
· Colleague to the customer, “Mrs. Hawthorne (The customer) I would like to introduce you to my college Mr. Mike Frank.”
· 2 year employee to ten-year employee. Sam Coke I would like you to meet John Hordin.
 A customer Mr Camp visiting a zoom meeting. Mr. Smith is the CEO. Mr.Camp I would like you to meet our CEO Mr. Mike Smith. There are also choices to make. Let’s say that you are introducing people to a speaker that’s formally presenting a speech on the zoom call and not everyone knows the name of the speaker. You could either say. MS Patti Wood I like you to meet my teammate Mr. Mike Stewart. Mr. Stewart (or just plain Mike) I would like you to meet our speaker today Patti Wood or you could say the lower status person’s name first Frank Smith I would like to introduce you to our speaker Dr. James Nelson. Dr. Nelson this is Frank Smith he has been at the Atlanta Training office of UKS for two years. He works with Jennie Waddington. It is OK if you mess up the order. No small children were harmed, just keep going.

If you're in a formal zoom meeting introduce someone who has a title’s doctor, for example,’ include the title as well as the first and last names in the introduction. Use proper titles. Don't introduce your parents as 'Mom' or 'Dad' unless that is how they would like to be addressed. You can say, “I would like you to meet my mother, Ms. Jones.

If the person you are introducing has a specific relationship to you, make the relationship clear by adding a phrase such as 'my boss,' 'my wife' or 'my uncle.' In the case of unmarried couples who are living together, 'companion' and 'partner' are good choices.

Use your spouse's first and last name if he or she has a different last name than you. Include the phrase 'my wife' or 'my husband.' Mr. Jones I would like you to meet my husband Eric Mann.
Introduce an individual to the group first, then the group to the individual. For example: 'Dr. Noble, I'd like you to meet my friends Hassan Jubar, Kim Nordeck and Michael Smith. Everyone, this is Dr. Mark Noble.'

Give them something to talk about once you have introduced them, preferably something they have in common. For example:” Sara this is Paul." “Paul, Sara is the biggest Baseball fan I have ever met" Now you have them a conversation starter. If you need to go, once they get a bit of a conversation going you can excuse yourself politely

Introducing people by recognizing talent and giving praise is an important part of being a good leader, team member, and friend. And showing great respect In my book, "People Savvy Leadership," I give the following tips:


When you focus on other’s accomplishments and notice what is worthy of praise, your energy is lifted, and you build successful interactions.

A simple way to give praise is with an introduction. For example, when you introduce your friends, coworkers, and business associates to someone new, share their name and an accomplishment. "Jim, this is Sara Beckman, she just headed up the committee for our new quarter sales meeting and it was fantastic." "Tom, this is Morgan Tyler, she just spearheaded the new marketing project." "Karl, this is Veronica Mann, she works with our top client Prudential." Or “Pam, this is my dear friend Karla, we have known each other since we were kids and she has the best sense of humor” “Karla this is my co-worker Pam, she has designed our new social media platform to rave reviews from the team or “Mark this is my colleague Jim, Jim he is our go-to expert on customer loyalty, he really knows his stuff.” Jim, this is my friend Mark, Mark and I met at Top Golf benefit he was in charge of last year and it was a huge success and did us proud.” 


If you are introduced to someone respond. You don’t have to say, “Nice to meet you.” It is a polite response, but you may not be sure yet if it will be nice. You don’t have to say, “It is a pleasure to meet you unless it is a pleasure. You do have to say something. You should repeat the person's name back; In a formal setting saying "Hi" or " Hello" is not enough. Instead, say, “Hello” "Do you prefer being called David or should I call you Dave?"

here 
http://www.pattiwood.net/program.asp?PageID=7830

Posted by body language lady at 12/11/2008 02:05:00 PM   

 

The host should state the agenda, that they sent ahead of time and set ground rules/etiquette guidelines for the meeting both in an email before the meeting and at the start of the meeting. For example, “Here are the guidelines for private messaging members of the meeting while we are on the call.” And or “We want to make sure everyone has time to talk and everyone feels heard and understood. Make sure your zoom box is not coming up and filling the screen more than other members of the meeting unless you are presenting. I may hop in and suggest that other people contribute. The host should guide the meeting making sure no one dominates the zoom call and that if someone hasn’t spoken you call on them and or send them a private message asking if they would like to contribute.

11.)  The host should give a final thought, goal, motivational statement, story, or a bit of humor to formally end the zoom call and thank people for attending, give special individual thanks for important contributions to the call. Tell the group you will stay after for further questions and visiting time and will be the last to leave the call and ideally, if you can bid each individual off the call so there is not a haphazard clicking off at the end and people don’t know when to say goodbye.

 

Zoom Meeting Etiquette



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

How Does a Riot Happen? Crowd Theory, Peaceful Protest and Rioting.

There is a powerful unifying force in a group during a peaceful protest. John Lewis certainly, Gandi and Martin Luther King and knew about as does Greta Thunberg and unifying protest leaders throughout history. We feel grace-filled unity when we sing together when we dance together when we applaud and or give a standing ovation for a wonderful speech, concert, or play. There is also a darker possibility in the power of crowd contagion.

Crowd theory states that in the crowd the individual identity and the capability to control behavior disappears and people are open to contagion. They are unable to resist any passing idea, and because intellect and rational thought can be obliterated, any passing emotion. They catch it like a cold and they go to the primitive limbic brain and have the spontaneity and the potential violence and enthusiasm of primate beings. That's why we so easily roar and cheer for our team and against others at football games. Anger is known in persuasion theory to be the strongest persuasive and most highly contagious emotion. And that explains rioting behavior. One person or a few people in a peaceful crowd that breaks away and does something in anger pulls the group. That also explains why a violent angry reaction by one officer from the police or military or prison guards or private police can spread to all the police.

Hitler Understood Crowd Theory and Emotional Contagion and he Used the Mob to Energize His Speeches.

Hitler was familiar with this and new you could take advantage of crowd mentality and manipulate a crowd to his own ends. He would have a stage in the middle of a town square, have marching bands push people tightly together to the center square from all the outlying streets, stir the crowd with marching music sometimes for as much as three hours before he spoke. He knew you can direct a crowd in that primitive emotional state, by simplifying his ideas, Appealing to emotions rather than intellect, exaggeration rather than fact, and by repeating the same message over and over again.

Hitler and Goebbels understood the power of anger and Isoopraxisim. Hitler is said to have gotten got the idea for his “fight song” and salute from American football. Specifically, the cheerleading and Harvard’s fight song so "Rah rah-rah," became “Sieg Heil” It is interesting that the nonverbal frenzy that is whipped up in a football stadium appealed to him and he wanted that energy. The nonverbal principal “ISOPRAXISM” states that nature animals are pulled to the strongest energy. That explains why fish swim together, birds fly in formation, the wave in American football, and is related to MOB behavior. Anger is the strongest “pulling” emotion. Meaning anger is the strongest persuasive or most highly contagious emotion


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.