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Recommended Book by Patti Wood Body Language Expert

Patti's Book Reviews - June 2001

 

            Selling the Lite of Heaven, by Suzanne Strempek Shea. ISBN 0-671-79865-0.  "Even though when he told me I was wrenched it off my finger and pitched it at him so hard it stuck with a thock right into the cloth of his green down vest, he still said I should keep the ring." One of my favorite funny books. Very light and wonderful. Warning her other books are not good.

 

            The Amber Spyglass, by Phillip Pullman. ISBN 0-679-87926-9. "In a valley shaded with rhododendrons, close to the snow line, where a stream milky with meltwater splashed and where doves and linnets flew among the immense pines, lay a cave, half-hidden by the crag above and the stiff heavy leaves clustered below." One of the best science fantasy books I have read. Based on Milton's Paradise Lost. This is the first book

Of a juvenile fiction trilogy.

 

            Movie Home Companion, by Roger Ebert. ISBN 0-8362-6212-3. (Descriptions of Movies)  "If one of the pleasures of movie-going is seeing strange new things on the screen, another pleasure, and probably a deeper one, is experiencing moments of recognition-times when we can say, yes, that's exactly right, that's exactly the way it would have happened." OK, I am a movie nut so I love reading the little summaries of movies in the back of the newspaper TV guide. Here it is in a book

 

            Part of the Furniture, by Mary Wesley. ISBN 0-14-02-6628-3.  "A full moon lit the street stretching ahead; it was a long street and empty. The houses have blinded windows and secret shadowed doorways; only an occasional polished door-knocker or the radiator of a car parked by the pavement reflected the moon." Strange but good.

 

            Bridget Jones…the Edge of Reason, by Helen Fielding. ISBN 0-4-029847-9.

"Monday 27 January: 129 lbs. (total fat groove), boyfriends 1 (hurrah!), shags 3 (hurrah!), calories 2100, calories used up by shags 600, so total calories, 1500 (exemplary)." The second book and actually better.

 

            Strange Fits of Passion by Anita Shreve. ISBN 0-15-600710-X.  "On my book tours, I am often asked a number of questions: Did he really do it? Do I think that she was justified? Did they do it for the money or for love?"  This book still haunts me. But all her books are like that.

 

            Mama Makes Up Her Mind…and Other Dangers of Southern Living, by Bailey White. ISBN 0-679-75160-2.  "The other day Mama made up her mind she wanted some smoked mullet. "Does this mean we have to go down to Rosey's?" I asked. "Yep," she said." I laughed out loud so much reading this at the airport two people came over and asked me what I was reading. Her other books are not good.

 

 

 

            The Object of My Affection, by Stephen McCauley. ISBN 0-671-64994-9.  "Nina and I had been living together in Brooklyn for over a year when she came home one afternoon, announced she was pregnant, tossed her briefcase to the floor and flopped down on the green vinyl sofa." I read this years ago, before the mediocre movie. I really

Liked this book still think of one scene of the Ferris wheel when I think of love and friendship.

 

            A Face at the Window, by Dennis McFarland. ISBN 0-553-06694-3.  "One Monday morning about a year and a half ago, in late autumn, I woke with a vague awareness of a long dullish instrument of some kind, maybe the butt-end of a medieval halberd, being alternately inserted and withdrawn at the small of my back." The best modern ghost story I have ever read. Read this and then read Frankenstein, which is the best horror book of all time, written by a 17-year-old girl.

 

            The Cater Street Hangman, by Anne Perry. ISBN 0-449-20867-2.  "Charlotte Ellison stood in the center of the withdrawing room, the newspaper in her hand. Her father had been very lax in leaving it on the side table. He disapproved of her reading such things, preferring to tell her such matters of interest as he felt suitable for young ladies to know."

 

            The Run, by Stuart Woods. ISBN 0-06-101343-9. (Not the best book unless you are interested in Politics)  "United States Senator William Henry Lee IV and his wife, Katherine Rule Lee, drove away from their Georgetown house in the Chevrolet Suburban early on a December morning. There was the promise of snow in the air.

Ok, so Stuart Woods objectifies women then kills them in his novels, but they are still

Exciting to read on airplanes.

 

            Paragon Walk, by Anne Perry. ISBN 0-449-21168-1.  "Inspector Pitt stared down at the girl's body, and an overwhelming sense of loss soaked through him. He had never known her in life, but he knew and treasured all the things that now she had lost."

 

            The Twisted Root, by Anne Perry. ISBN 0-8041-1936-8.  "The young man stood in the doorway, his face pale, his fingers clenched on his hat, twisting it around and around."

 

            Pigs In Heaven, by Barbara Kingsolver. ISBN 0-416-016801-3 (Beautifully written) "Women on their own run-in Alice's family. This draws on her with the unkindness of a heart attack and she sits up in bed to get a closer look at her thoughts, which have collected above her in the dark." 

 

            Household Hints and Handy Tips, by Reader's Digest. ISBN 0-89577-683-9

 "Take a look at these great ideas for organizing your household, keeping personal records, and managing money. Find out how to get the most out of storage space, and the best ways to install shelves and other storage systems." (Ok I read weird stuff but in this case, would rather read it than do it.)

 

            Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married, by Marian Keyes. ISBN 0-380-97618-8.  "When Meredia reminded me that the four of us from the office were due to visit a fortune-teller the following Monday, my stomach lurched." (A Bridget Jones Diary light and silly book)

 

            Knee Deep in Paradise, by Brett Butler. ISBN 0-76-868-6136-3.  "I spent the first twenty years of my life waiting for two men I was reasonably certain would never come back -- my daddy and Jesus Christ. I don't wait for them anymore. My dad, anyway. And at least with Jesus, I didn't spend all that time thinking he was gone because of something I did."  If you like famous people's biographies this is well written. However,

You see she didn't learn anything on her path to self-destruction- they just said write all

The terrible things you did down.

 

            Saying Grace, by Beth Gutcheon. ISBN 0-06-017678-4. "It was two days before the opening of school when the Spanish teacher dropped dead. Dropped is the right word; she was on her knees in the garden, cleaning out the crocosmia bed, when she felt a sudden light ball of pain in her chest, and then was herself extinguished."

 

            Anything Considered, by Peter Mayle.  ISBN 0-679-44123-9.  "Something would turn up, Bennett kept telling himself. On the good days, the days when the sun shone and no bills arrived, he found it easy to believe that this sudden poverty was a temporary blot on the landscape of life, a hiccup of fate, no more than a passing inconvenience."

 

            Hoopi Shoopi Donna, by Suzanne Strempek Shea.  ISBN 0-671-53545-5.  "Winkie Papuga started the whole thing. He just had to go and say it to me one more time, almost like he was underlining, then he let go of my hand, blew his nose, stepped off the porch, got into his car, rattled over the bridge, unlocked his apartment, took out his teeth, settled onto his daybed, clicked to the "wheel of Fortune" and went on, I guess, with the rest of all the little actions that would make up the whole entire remainder of his life, not ever once knowing what he had done to mine."

           

            The Gourmet Detective, by Peter King.  ISBN 0-312-14346-X (a really bad book unless you like gourmet food).  "He shuffled into my office, his outsize suit hanging loosely on his oversize frame. I recognized the face like a St. Bernard with all the troubles of the world on its back, the lugubrious expression, the large sad eyes and the drooping lips. A strange figure but I see a lot of them in my business." Really bad book

But great descriptions of food and Washington DC

 

            Dealing with People You Can't Stand…How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst, by Dr. Rick Brinkman & Dr. Rick Kirschner. ISBN 0-07-007838-6. (Actually, This is a book I teach out of and I needed to be reminded to use the concepts)  "People you can't stand: They're those difficult people who don't do what you want them to do, or do what you don't want them to do-- and you don't know what to do about them. Well, you don't have to be their victim anymore!"

 

            Scarlet Feather, by Maeve Binchy. ISBN 0-525-94593-8. (I love her books though I prefer her older ones.) New Year's Eve did they really want. It was very predictable. Those who were staying home doing nothing wanted to be out partying, those who were too busy and rushed wanted to go to bed with a cup of tea and be asleep before the festivities began." Not the best of her books but still good

 

            Until The Real Thing Comes Along, by Elizabeth Berg.  ISBN 0-345-43739-X. (again I like the other books by this author, but a poor book by a great writer is so much better than a bad book by anyone else.

"I used to think that the best thing to do when you had the blues was to soak in a bathtub full of hot water, submerge yourself so that only the top of your head was in the outer world. You could feel altered and protected. Weightless."

 

 

           

 

           

           

            




Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Nonverbal Green Flags Indications of Healthy Relationship with Long Term Happiness


By Body Language Expert Patti Wood

 

Eyebrow Raise We raise our eyebrows to make the eye's aperture bigger. It's often done because we like what we see, and we want more of it. If your partner raises his brows ever so slightly while you're talking, it means he's interested in whatever you're saying.

Eyebrow Flash Notice if he raises his eyebrows in a quick flash the moment he sees you. That is magical. We eyebrow flash when we first see people we love and trust. It signals both I like what I see, and I want more of it, and I am safe for you to approach. (A narrowed eye in greeting is the opposite and means the person may be focusing in for an attack)

Teeth Baring Grin- He shows you his Upper front teeth. In our primitive ancestors showing a full grin upper teeth grin, barring of the teeth can be a sign of aggression or great happiness. Boys typically stop smiling with the full upper teeth and gums showing around the age of 5 because it may be misconstrued as aggression. So they save it and typically only use that full barring teeth smile for when they are really happy,"  A man who loves you might not show off a toothy grin while casually flirting, but on a really comfortable and happy look to see if he shows a big grin. I tell my audiences to check out their wedding photos. If their groom/new husband is not doing a big upper teeth showing grin in the photos, it's a sign there may be problems in the relationship in the future. You man needs to show that he is safe and comfortable enough to show they grin and that he is often happy and joyful in your presence. ow in a big grin

Up and Back Chin when he laughs. That is a sign of true joy and happiness and typically indicates that he is very comfortable fully expressing joy in your presence. Notice if he does it when it's just the two of you.

 

He locks eyes with your face — not your eyes. You might think that a man enamored with you will find it hard to peel his eyes away. But now that everyone is used to being glued to their phones, constant eye contact can make people feel uncomfortable. That kind of stare is more indicative of a predator. That kind of gaze may seem hypnotic, but it's not a signal you're his prey. A man who likes you looks at your whole face! So, important rule: If he spends about 80 percent of your interaction looking from your eyes to your nose and lips, he cares for you. His eye contact should make you feel good and very comfortable. That's a signal that your central nervous system is calm and safe in his presence and that he wants to stay connected to you because it makes his central nervous system feel calm.  

He takes a deep breath when he sees you and smiles Yes, men do require oxygen, but this is a deep breath the moment you come into his view. Its limbic brain activated, and as he does it, he may pull in his stomach and puff out his chest.

The puffing is a subconscious way to make his upper body look broader and his waist looks smaller, two qualities that make him look more fit and, from an evolutionary perspective, more desirable. It should lift his upper body, and it should be accompanied by a smile and or eye contact with you. He may do this after you kiss, but you made him feel great!

When he holds your hand, he presses his palm against yours. This kind of full-fledged hand-holding signifies a desire to connect. The same goes for interlocking fingers, while an arched palm and less meshing mean he's scared or maybe holding something back (literally). Also, notice when they go to hold and when they drop the handhold. Who does he love and want to see him have hands with you?

 

He gives you your secret touch. Suppose you develop a secrete touch, perhaps to your side or a particular location on your back or kiss to the center or your forehead or a light touch on the back of your hand in the same spot. The location is typically someplace sweet, and the modality is special, say an extra squeeze in the handhold that is wonderful. That is your lovely, intimate little way of communication without words.

 

Lasts goodbyes and first greeting are for you. When he leaves the house. (with you in it)  you are the last person he touches and or talks to, and when he comes home, his first action is to go to you and talk to you or touch you. So primacy is the first thing you do, and Recency, the last thing you do, indicates how important a person, object, or action is to someone.

 

 




Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

How to Answer When Asks, "How Are You Doing?" How to Greet People by Body Language Expert Patti Wood, Small Talk., Greeting Behavior,


How to Answer When Asks, "How Are You Doing?"

(From Patti's books SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma and People Savvy)

The first consideration in responding to someone asking How you are doing is the source of the question. For example, if the person is not someone who will see again and or that you don't want to grow and maintain a professional relationship, then a simple "Fine." is appropriate and significant.  

A more personalized, more detailed, and specific response helps build rich long-term relationships.

When I taught Nonverbal Communication at Florida State, I would tell the story of the Warm Fuzzes, the Plastic Fuzzies, and the Cold Prickles. (There was a village where children were given at birth a bag of warm fuzzes (Soft cuddly puffs that when you gave them made people feel warm and fuzzy inside). The village was a warm and loving place. One day a wizard visited and said to all the villagers, "You are going to run out of warm fuzzies!" So he gave the villagers bags, plastic fuzzies, a fake plastic kind of communication that wasn't real and cold pricklies that made people feel all cold and sharp and hard inside. So the villagers hoarded their now seemingly precious warm fuzzies and gave plastic fuzzies and cold pricklies, and in times the village grew tense and unhappy, lonely and mean. Then a good witch entered the village and handed out warm fuzzies to everyone. The villagers felt bad about feeling so good when she gave them warm fuzzies that they went home and got out their bags of warm fuzzies and started giving them again. They realized as they did that their bag of warm fuzzies filled up as they gave them freely, and everyone lived happily ever after.

The moral of the story? When you give a warm, genuine communication, you give something warm and accurate to the other person, and you, in return, have your bag of warmth replenished.

 

The second consideration in responding is whether you tell them anything bad. If you feel bad and bad things are happening in your life, a sincere response may include that truth. But, if you don't need other people's comfort, you don't have to share that. If you do, you may wish to soften it with a positive truth or hope for the future statement such as, "I have a family member going through a hard time, and that hard, but we have a good strong family, and we are grateful for that." "Business is not at the top of our projections right now, but we are working with a new prospect the next quarter looks much better. "I am having a hard day today, but I have plans for the weekend with my family, and I am grateful."

The third thing to consider is how to respond after you have completed answering their "How are you question."
You can continue the more standard response interaction with, "And How are you?" with the expectation you will get a standard, "Fine." Response or you can create a more authentic deeper interaction by asking a different question such as, "And what is the best thing going on in your life? "or "What are you looking forward to today?" "Tell me something that lifted your spirits today." "What's the best thing that happened to you today?" Some people may respond that nothing good is happening, and if so, that gives you an opportunity to have unique, tangible interaction and comfort them. But many times, you get back an incredible honest positive response that feels terrific for both of you


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Does a Narcissist Want You to Chase Them?


They like pursuing and being pursued

They like both pursuing and being pursued; ultimately, they want to control. Narc’s feel good when they control the happiness of others. They get Narcissistic supply from controlling their target’s happiness.

If the victim pursues them, the Narc can control the flow of joy by being out of reach and unattainable, just out of reach, seemingly won, and then out of reach again, in a continuing cycle.

They can get a supply hit from seeing their target’s efforts to pursue. When they appear “gotten,” they can get a hit of supply from knowing that it is all a ruse, a game, and then they can get a bit hit supply from dropping the victim, disconnecting, ghosting, and then another by reappearing.




https://upjourney.com/does-a-narcissist-want-you-to-chase-them
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Megan Fox & MGK's Proposal Body Language by Body Language Expert Patti Wood,



Get out your celebratory blood vials, everyone! Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly are officially engaged. On Jan. 11, MGK proposed to Megan during a vacation in Puerto Rico. The musician popped the question under a banyan tree that already held significance in their relationship — apparently, back in July 2020, they sat below the same tree and “ask[ed] for magic.” (Would you expect anything less from them?) Their romantic wish came true, and Megan and MGK’s proposal body language is exactly what you’d expect from the couple: dramatic (if curated) and full of excitement.


body language expert and author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, Patti Wood explains to Elite Daily that the proposal looks “staged.” Filmed from multiple angles, the engagement video looks like a movie clip of some sort of ritual sacrifice. “They’re at an apex as if it was a sanctuary. Their intention here is to show that it was a holy act,” Wood guesses.

And that intention continues to seep through the rest of the video. “There’s a silence to it,” Wood also notes. Despite the fact that we can clearly see MGK and Megan talking to one another in the clip, all you can hear is the sounds of nature and birds chirping. Wood says, “They want to elevate it and make it more sacred. It’s definitely curated and produced.”


After MGK kneels, Megan immediately covers her mouth with her hands — it’s an obvious sign of surprise, but it looks exaggerated in the moment, per Wood. “It seems a little over-acted,” she says. Within the next few seconds, however, you see a more genuine side of their relationship.

In the video, Megan sways slightly back and forth with looking at her beau. “It’s a spontaneous, sincere, rocking motion. She’s truly nervous and excited,” says Wood. The back-and-forth rocking reminds her of a child seeing a birthday gift, eagerly waiting to get their hands on it.

Megan’s anticipation is clear, but MGK has a much more zen vibe going on. “He seems fairly calm,” Wood adds. To be fair, he had more time to adjust to the idea of engagement — custom engagement rings take some time, after all!

When Megan processes what’s happening, she quickly joins MGK on the ground, kneeling with him. “It’s unusual,” per Wood. Usually, people either stay standing or bend over to reach their partner during the proposal.


They aren’t just literally on the same level, either. Her joining him on the ground hints at a strong connection between the two of them (surprising literally no one). “Coming down to his level shows a desire to be closer to him and equanimity in feelings,” Wood says.

That’s not all. Wood also notices how Megan “presses down on the top of her head” as MGK speaks to her as if she’s trying to physically “keep herself together” — or stop the excitement from literally bursting out. At the same moment, MGK nods at her. “[The nod indicates that] he feels the same about this,” Wood says. AKA, they’re both feeling a little overwhelmed by how excited they are.

t’s what I call a ‘look pretty’ kiss,” Wood says of Megan and MGK’s post-proposal smooch. There isn’t a lot of heat or discernible passion. And although the whole scene has sensual overtones, per Wood, the kiss is slightly lackluster. (Believe me, I’m as shocked as you are.)

“They’re not pressing toward each other,” Wood adds, pointing to the way the couple keeps space between them even when they are kissing. “There’s no energy or pulling each other closer, which usually indicates passion.” (A little refresher: This is the same couple that has “the kind of sex that would make Lucifer clutch his rosary,” according to Megan herself.)

Here’s hoping we get to see the professional photos — or drone footage — from this proposal soon! Three camera angles are just not enough!

They’re Feeling Overwhelmed



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.