What You Can Say To Stop A Bully
Yes, you can look for these behaviors. I would also say you need to be aware of how you feel in the presence of person. If you “feel” bullied, check in on what you are hearing in the words and the nonverbals. Bullies sometimes know exactly what they are doing and they get what they want. Sometimes they don’t know. In either case you have many ways of dealing with it. One possibility if you are awake and aware is to say,
· Och, that hurts
· (Action - hold up your hand in a stop hand position.) Stop!
· I am willing to listen to what you have to say, but you need to say it to me in a different way, please speak to me with honor and respect.
· I am feeling uncomfortable with how you are speaking to me.
· You may not be aware of it but, I feel you are not treating me with respect.
· You’re not treating me with respect. I ask that you change the way you are speaking with me
· Stop, I ask that you treat me with honor and respect.
· I don’t deserve that tone of voice, please speak to me with honor and respect.
· I am stopping this conversation because you are not treating me with respect.
Notice that you don’t call anyone a bully in any of these options. Do not label or name call, ask instead for what you want.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.