Yes, you can look for these
behaviors. I would also say you need to be aware of how you feel in the
presence of person. If you “feel” bullied, check in on what you are hearing in
the words and the nonverbals. Bullies sometimes know exactly what they are
doing and they get what they want. Sometimes they don’t know. In either case
you have many ways of dealing with it. One possibility if you are awake and
aware is to say,
·
Och, that hurts
·
(Action - hold up
your hand in a stop hand position.) Stop!
·
I am willing to
listen to what you have to say, but you need to say it to me in a different
way, please speak to me with honor and respect.
·
I am feeling
uncomfortable with how you are speaking to me.
·
You may not be aware
of it but, I feel you are not treating me with respect.
·
You’re not treating
me with respect. I ask that you change the way you are speaking with me
·
Stop, I ask that you
treat me with honor and respect.
·
I don’t deserve that
tone of voice, please speak to me with honor and respect.
·
I am stopping this
conversation because you are not treating me with respect.
Notice
that you don’t call anyone a bully in any of these options. Do not label or
name call, ask instead for what you want.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
