I am a body language expert. Baby cry to be heard and understood. They are not feeling good, hungry, tired, uncomfortable, in paid, lonely and bored and they want to communicate with us. They will go longer louder and more aggressive in there crying till they know you understand. If you know they are not in severe pain, one of the best tips to calming and soothing a baby is to match their crying. That is match the volume, intensity and rhythm of their crying as you look at them. In a brief moment you will know you have matched them and they will feel heard and understood. Typically they will soften and bring down the volume of their crying immediately or once you match you can slowly while making eye contact with the baby bring down the volume and intensity of your cry to softer and softer and then when it is a whisper smile and they baby will, unless they are in lots of pain soften their cry with you. I have used this technique for years. I have amazed my sisters by getting their children to stop crying in moments and even used it on airplanes to calm a seatmates crying child.
If you use this could you please link to my site?
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com
How to use matching body language to calm a crying baby
I am a body language expert. Baby cry to be heard and understood. They are not feeling good, hungry, tired, uncomfortable, in paid, lonely and bored and they want to communicate with us. They will go longer louder and more aggressive in there crying till they know you understand. If you know they are not in severe pain, one of the best tips to calming and soothing a baby is to match their crying. That is match the volume, intensity and rhythm of their crying as you look at them. In a brief moment you will know you have matched them and they will feel heard and understood. Typically they will soften and bring down the volume of their crying immediately or once you match you can slowly while making eye contact with the baby bring down the volume and intensity of your cry to softer and softer and then when it is a whisper smile and they baby will, unless they are in lots of pain soften their cry with you. I have used this technique for years. I have amazed my sisters by getting their children to stop crying in moments and even used it on airplanes to calm a seatmates crying child.
If you use this could you please link to my site?
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com
If you use this could you please link to my site?
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com
Reading a Match.com Photo, Body Language and Smiling
My little four legged friend, Bo the wonder dog was featured prominently in the verbiage of my Match.com profile. I talk about how Bo and I walk together 45 minutes every day and how he sits beside me at my desk while I work in my home office. When I got and email from one particular guy on Match.com I read his written profile and I was wary of going out with him. The life he described he let made him seem like a player. He sounded fun,but he didn't sound like the kind of guy I would want to date.
However, in one of his photos he was sitting with his arms around a big dog both the dog had big ole’ smiles on their faces. Because I am a body language expert (I have even did a research study last year on smiling and personality available on my website) and read photos I could read his smile and knew it was real. ( For the body language cues that reveal a true smile check my website.) I could tell from his photos as he interacted with others that this man had a passion for living. I since I also read photos of people with their dogs, I also knew this man really cared for the dog. The combination of the smile and the dog drew me to him. In fact, he looked so darn cute with the dog that I decided after he made several appeals for a date that I would go out with him.
As it turned out, He had lost his dog to his ex girlfriend in a break up. But from the first time he met Bo my wonder dog he has loved him. He plays with Bo and when Bo learned how to open the back French doors he started bragging on Bo to our friends. Bo is sensitive to some people foods. Spaghetti and popcorn and other human snacks are just not for Bo. Since my sweetie found that out he is first to pick up any fallen food scrap that falls on the kitchen floor when we are cooking and the first to jump off the couch to get a piece of popcorn that has fallen on the rug. He is incredibly loving with my dog Bo. Now my girlfriends tease me and say I should read photos for women of men they are interested in on Match.com
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com
However, in one of his photos he was sitting with his arms around a big dog both the dog had big ole’ smiles on their faces. Because I am a body language expert (I have even did a research study last year on smiling and personality available on my website) and read photos I could read his smile and knew it was real. ( For the body language cues that reveal a true smile check my website.) I could tell from his photos as he interacted with others that this man had a passion for living. I since I also read photos of people with their dogs, I also knew this man really cared for the dog. The combination of the smile and the dog drew me to him. In fact, he looked so darn cute with the dog that I decided after he made several appeals for a date that I would go out with him.
As it turned out, He had lost his dog to his ex girlfriend in a break up. But from the first time he met Bo my wonder dog he has loved him. He plays with Bo and when Bo learned how to open the back French doors he started bragging on Bo to our friends. Bo is sensitive to some people foods. Spaghetti and popcorn and other human snacks are just not for Bo. Since my sweetie found that out he is first to pick up any fallen food scrap that falls on the kitchen floor when we are cooking and the first to jump off the couch to get a piece of popcorn that has fallen on the rug. He is incredibly loving with my dog Bo. Now my girlfriends tease me and say I should read photos for women of men they are interested in on Match.com
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com
How Can You Tell If She is in to You?
Friday, March 27, 2009
How Can You Tell She is in To You. More of Health Magazine InterviewIf you’re physically attracted to a man, you might reach out with open palms or push your hair behind your ear with your palm facing out. That’s a signal to his brain that you’re open to flirting and seduction, Wood says. -Similarly, turning the upper part of your chest toward a person—what Wood calls “the heart window”—and pointing your toes toward someone show openness to being approached, and a desire to connect whether it’s a romantic interest or a potential new friend.
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.pattiwood.net/
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com/ .com
How Can You Tell She is in To You. More of Health Magazine InterviewIf you’re physically attracted to a man, you might reach out with open palms or push your hair behind your ear with your palm facing out. That’s a signal to his brain that you’re open to flirting and seduction, Wood says. -Similarly, turning the upper part of your chest toward a person—what Wood calls “the heart window”—and pointing your toes toward someone show openness to being approached, and a desire to connect whether it’s a romantic interest or a potential new friend.
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.pattiwood.net/
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com/ .com
Checking messages while you are with someone else, techno rudeness and body langauge.
I am rarely cynical in my blogs, In fact, I have been called a Pollyanna optimist many times. I also am truly blessed with the most incredible friends on the plane but if you have read my blog you know that. I say all this before I share a cynical story about a wonderful. I know it doesn't take me off the hook, but it does give the story a bit of build up..
So I am out with a friend for lunch the other day. A friend I have not seen for month I might add and five minutes after we sit down for lunch she is checking her Blackberry for messages from the guy friend she just had her real lunch with. ( She apologizes for eating ahead of our lunch she said she would have dessert with me. ) She continued to check her blackberry throughout lunch. I love my friend very much she is an amazing woman, but she is so brilliant her mind needs to be occupied at all times. So she often goes into what I call the techno haze. For me the unspoken subtext of checking text messages in front of friends is: "Somewhere else there is someone who I care about more than you. I want to know what they have to say more than what you have to say to me now." The idea of being present in the moment is disappearing faster than you can say, "Hey, I've got to take this call..." We stop being in the moment. We stop being present wit each other. We devalue our current situation, the friends and family around us, our surroundings and setting, for something going on somewhere else. Somewhere that seems far more interesting that what is right their in front of them.
I see it when I go into speak to an audience now and it makes me crazy. Audience's use to talk and interact with each other before the program started. I am not sure, but I think that is why people have meetings and conventions so people can share ideas and experiences, with the people in the room. Now everyone heads are down. People don't have their hearts open they have their laptops open. They don't shake hands they do hip checks of the blackberry's. They don't lean into their seat mate to say hello, they pull out their cell phone to take a call. They are not connecting to the people in the room they are somewhere else. Certainly they don't look like they are in that room to learn. I am so glad that I teach what I do the way I do. I have my audience's up out of their chairs right away, now I realize that if they have any gadgets they would fall off in the first audience interaction exercise. What do you think about the techno haze?
So I am out with a friend for lunch the other day. A friend I have not seen for month I might add and five minutes after we sit down for lunch she is checking her Blackberry for messages from the guy friend she just had her real lunch with. ( She apologizes for eating ahead of our lunch she said she would have dessert with me. ) She continued to check her blackberry throughout lunch. I love my friend very much she is an amazing woman, but she is so brilliant her mind needs to be occupied at all times. So she often goes into what I call the techno haze. For me the unspoken subtext of checking text messages in front of friends is: "Somewhere else there is someone who I care about more than you. I want to know what they have to say more than what you have to say to me now." The idea of being present in the moment is disappearing faster than you can say, "Hey, I've got to take this call..." We stop being in the moment. We stop being present wit each other. We devalue our current situation, the friends and family around us, our surroundings and setting, for something going on somewhere else. Somewhere that seems far more interesting that what is right their in front of them.
I see it when I go into speak to an audience now and it makes me crazy. Audience's use to talk and interact with each other before the program started. I am not sure, but I think that is why people have meetings and conventions so people can share ideas and experiences, with the people in the room. Now everyone heads are down. People don't have their hearts open they have their laptops open. They don't shake hands they do hip checks of the blackberry's. They don't lean into their seat mate to say hello, they pull out their cell phone to take a call. They are not connecting to the people in the room they are somewhere else. Certainly they don't look like they are in that room to learn. I am so glad that I teach what I do the way I do. I have my audience's up out of their chairs right away, now I realize that if they have any gadgets they would fall off in the first audience interaction exercise. What do you think about the techno haze?
banking, benifits of face to face human interaction, body language and banking
Today a journalist ask me if I still did my banking face to face. Here is my answer.
Since I opened my first bank account at 11, I have preferred to go into the bank and make my deposits and withdrawals. At 50 I still don’t use the bank machines to withdrawal cash. I don’t want to be known by my back account number and I don’t want to interact with a machine.
For over 20 years I knew all the cashiers’ by name and they new mine. When I came in we would visit for a minute would ask me how my last trip was, because they knew I fly out of town every week to speak and I would ask about their day and their family. Now that my bank has been bought a few times I know only know one teller. It is still worth to go in because she smiles and says my name and I smile back and we laugh about the fact that the two of us are always in a good mood. It makes my day.
I am a body language expert. Human interaction feeds us. It is sustenance. The smile, the eye contact of recognition, the light touch of hands across the counter, insures us we are seen, are known, that we exists. Each face to face interaction makes our lives rich. It also feeds the brain. If you have been reading my blogs or getting my newsletter you know that I love neuroscience and often talk about the brain body connection. Here is link to a website that discusses the research of Dr. Thomas Lewis who does research on face to face interaction and the brain. Headrush@typeface.com
"Part of the issue they've discovered in research is just how crucial the immediate response is. In still-face effect experiments with infants, for example, they learned that babies become immediately distressed when their mother maintains a "still face" that does not show any response/feedback with what the baby is doing. This makes sense, but what's really interesting is when they experimented with video. In some of these variations on the still-face effect, mothers and babies were on closed-circuit monitors where they could each see each other in real-time, through a television monitor. The babies were much happier when their mother's face was responsive to their own... less distressed than when the mother was right in front of the baby but maintaining a still face!
So, it was the responsiveness that mattered as well as the visual information. But just how quick does the feedback/response need to be? When they took the same experiment but introduced a short delay (I can't recall the amount -- but it was less than a few seconds), the babies became distressed again. Even a small degree of latency killed the feedback/interaction/responsiveness the baby's brains were expecting and needing.
Of course, we're adults, and not babies, but again--Dr. Lewis pointed out that we still have the same basic neurochemistry, and that no matter how much we practice communicating through text, the brain still finds it stressful. He indicated that the only population whose lives have improved through the use of text over face-to-face are those with a serious problem of shyness. In the brains of the shy, he said, a previously unknown face triggers a fear or anxiety response in their amygdala which doesn't happen in text.
He said that video chat is better than any other form of non face-to-face, because you get facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, AND real-time responsiveness. But--he said there's still a very unsettling feature for the brain because there's really no way for BOTH speakers to make eye contact! If you look at the camera, then the other person sees you looking at them, but then your experience suffers. So you can either watch the person you're chatting with which helps your experience but causes theirs to suffer (since you won't be looking into the camera, so to THEM you'll be looking down), OR you can look in the camera and improve their experience. But there's no way to have the camera right in your face, in a place where you can still look into the other person's eyes. Bottom line: You can see the camera or the person's eyes... but not both.
And even with the benefits of adding video to your chat, there's still a lot the scientists don't know about other factors surrounding human communication that can't be captured electronically. Smell, for example, might be far more powerful than we realize--even when below our conscious awareness. Headrush@typeface.com/creatingpassionateusesers
Since I opened my first bank account at 11, I have preferred to go into the bank and make my deposits and withdrawals. At 50 I still don’t use the bank machines to withdrawal cash. I don’t want to be known by my back account number and I don’t want to interact with a machine.
For over 20 years I knew all the cashiers’ by name and they new mine. When I came in we would visit for a minute would ask me how my last trip was, because they knew I fly out of town every week to speak and I would ask about their day and their family. Now that my bank has been bought a few times I know only know one teller. It is still worth to go in because she smiles and says my name and I smile back and we laugh about the fact that the two of us are always in a good mood. It makes my day.
I am a body language expert. Human interaction feeds us. It is sustenance. The smile, the eye contact of recognition, the light touch of hands across the counter, insures us we are seen, are known, that we exists. Each face to face interaction makes our lives rich. It also feeds the brain. If you have been reading my blogs or getting my newsletter you know that I love neuroscience and often talk about the brain body connection. Here is link to a website that discusses the research of Dr. Thomas Lewis who does research on face to face interaction and the brain. Headrush@typeface.com
"Part of the issue they've discovered in research is just how crucial the immediate response is. In still-face effect experiments with infants, for example, they learned that babies become immediately distressed when their mother maintains a "still face" that does not show any response/feedback with what the baby is doing. This makes sense, but what's really interesting is when they experimented with video. In some of these variations on the still-face effect, mothers and babies were on closed-circuit monitors where they could each see each other in real-time, through a television monitor. The babies were much happier when their mother's face was responsive to their own... less distressed than when the mother was right in front of the baby but maintaining a still face!
So, it was the responsiveness that mattered as well as the visual information. But just how quick does the feedback/response need to be? When they took the same experiment but introduced a short delay (I can't recall the amount -- but it was less than a few seconds), the babies became distressed again. Even a small degree of latency killed the feedback/interaction/responsiveness the baby's brains were expecting and needing.
Of course, we're adults, and not babies, but again--Dr. Lewis pointed out that we still have the same basic neurochemistry, and that no matter how much we practice communicating through text, the brain still finds it stressful. He indicated that the only population whose lives have improved through the use of text over face-to-face are those with a serious problem of shyness. In the brains of the shy, he said, a previously unknown face triggers a fear or anxiety response in their amygdala which doesn't happen in text.
He said that video chat is better than any other form of non face-to-face, because you get facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, AND real-time responsiveness. But--he said there's still a very unsettling feature for the brain because there's really no way for BOTH speakers to make eye contact! If you look at the camera, then the other person sees you looking at them, but then your experience suffers. So you can either watch the person you're chatting with which helps your experience but causes theirs to suffer (since you won't be looking into the camera, so to THEM you'll be looking down), OR you can look in the camera and improve their experience. But there's no way to have the camera right in your face, in a place where you can still look into the other person's eyes. Bottom line: You can see the camera or the person's eyes... but not both.
And even with the benefits of adding video to your chat, there's still a lot the scientists don't know about other factors surrounding human communication that can't be captured electronically. Smell, for example, might be far more powerful than we realize--even when below our conscious awareness. Headrush@typeface.com/creatingpassionateusesers
Angelina and Brad body language
I did a very interesting piece for this weeks In Touch magazine. They sent me photo's of Angelina with her brother and with Brad and had me compare her body language with her brother with her body language with Brad. As you might have noticed at least in Public she is more intimate with her brother than with Brad. Check out the article on page 31 of this weeks issue.
How body language reflects sadness and happiness
Another excerpt from Health Magazine interview of body language. "When you’re feeling happy and confident, your body automatically lifts up, Wood says. “You may lift your head, shoulders, and or chest, and you might find yourself pushing it for a moment on the balls of your feet. -On the other hand, if you’re depressed or experiencing low self-esteem, the body goes down. Your shoulders and head may come down, You might look down when you talk, your facial expressions may go down and you may bend slightly at the knees , and gestures downward, or not at all and your voice may go down in volume. People typically think,"My body reflects my feelings.", but the because of the mind-body connection it is also true that your body can change your feelings. -One quick way to give yourself a boost: Lift up your head, bring your shoulders back, sit up, and smile. It can change your mood in less than a fraction of a second, Wood says.
arm crossing
Here are notes from an interview that I did with Health Magazine.
-“Though, there are over sixty different reasons that may motivate you to cross your arms from anger and stress to the temperature in the room. When some sees you crossing your arms he or she tends to think you’re are keeping something inside or someone out, Wood says. We don’t like that barrier and see it as a defensive posture.-If you’re shy, you may unconsciously do this at a party to keep others from approaching. Or if you disagree with someone at work, you might cross your arms as a way of holding back your real opinion. -The position makes you feel protected, but it also shuts other people out. So if you’re in a social situation, let your arms hang down by your sides or use them to gesture to appear more approachable.
-“Though, there are over sixty different reasons that may motivate you to cross your arms from anger and stress to the temperature in the room. When some sees you crossing your arms he or she tends to think you’re are keeping something inside or someone out, Wood says. We don’t like that barrier and see it as a defensive posture.-If you’re shy, you may unconsciously do this at a party to keep others from approaching. Or if you disagree with someone at work, you might cross your arms as a way of holding back your real opinion. -The position makes you feel protected, but it also shuts other people out. So if you’re in a social situation, let your arms hang down by your sides or use them to gesture to appear more approachable.
Body Language for power
Here are some notes from Health magazine for an article that will apear in few months.
Making your body compact by doing things like keeping your arms close to your side, or folding them in your lap or crossing your legs tightly can may you appear not merely closed, but subordinate.-When you take up less space , you may appear and feel less powerful, and people may treat you that way, says Patti Wood, MA a body language expert in Atlanta, Georgia. -When you want to command respect, whether it’s from a co-worker or your teen, Patti says. “..take up a little more space. Stand up straight and relaxed, with your feet six to seven inches
apart if you’re a woman more if you are a man.”
Making your body compact by doing things like keeping your arms close to your side, or folding them in your lap or crossing your legs tightly can may you appear not merely closed, but subordinate.-When you take up less space , you may appear and feel less powerful, and people may treat you that way, says Patti Wood, MA a body language expert in Atlanta, Georgia. -When you want to command respect, whether it’s from a co-worker or your teen, Patti says. “..take up a little more space. Stand up straight and relaxed, with your feet six to seven inches
apart if you’re a woman more if you are a man.”
Why men love to play golf, a body language secreat
I responded to a media sour from Golf Magazine who was asking for the health benefits of playing golf. I gave them a rather unusual mental health benefit. The benefit of relationship bonding that comes to men when they sit in a golf cart side by side togther for a day of golf.
As a body language expert and researcher for the last 27 years I love to share this fact. Men, as a gender prefer to sit side by side with each other. Wired in the brain primal survival instinct. When the front of their bodies are not vulnerable It makes them feel safe. Think of men going into battle together side by side. Men will automatically feel bonded when they interact at a table or counter or bar when they sit side by side. Research shows that men will also increase their self disclosure with one another when sitting in this position. Let's go back to the golf example. When men sit in golf cart they are sitting side by side and less than 14 inches apart from one another. That is what researchers call the "intimate" zone of space. So men are more likely not only self disclose, but also to feel closer and more intimate with one another siting with each other on a golf care. Therefore they will be more likely to share personal more intimate information. Now add the time dimension. The longer men are together side to side in an intimate zone of space, ie a golf cart for 18 holes of golf which typically takes all day or a minimum of three hours you have a scientific recipe for men to bond that is really unique to the sport of golf.
As a body language expert and researcher for the last 27 years I love to share this fact. Men, as a gender prefer to sit side by side with each other. Wired in the brain primal survival instinct. When the front of their bodies are not vulnerable It makes them feel safe. Think of men going into battle together side by side. Men will automatically feel bonded when they interact at a table or counter or bar when they sit side by side. Research shows that men will also increase their self disclosure with one another when sitting in this position. Let's go back to the golf example. When men sit in golf cart they are sitting side by side and less than 14 inches apart from one another. That is what researchers call the "intimate" zone of space. So men are more likely not only self disclose, but also to feel closer and more intimate with one another siting with each other on a golf care. Therefore they will be more likely to share personal more intimate information. Now add the time dimension. The longer men are together side to side in an intimate zone of space, ie a golf cart for 18 holes of golf which typically takes all day or a minimum of three hours you have a scientific recipe for men to bond that is really unique to the sport of golf.
Why people should gesture when speaking.
A former audience member asked the following questions recently, "What's the protocol when someone uses their hands when they are speaking?" "Is this in poor taste!" "Do you have any literature out there on this type of body language?" I sent her a chapter from my success signals book to explain why gesturing to emphasize what you are saying can help your speak more eloquently and speak more from your heart. Here is my Success Signals book excerpt.
Gesturing can help you think and speak from your heart. When you gesture you show your personality to your others. Why? Because your arms come out from your heart they show how open and receptive you are to everyone you meet and interact with, so when you open your hands wide and hold them high you show you are open, when you hide them behind your back or glue them to your sides you show you are not willing to embrace the person or situation your in. Personality tests say that the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use your arms and the more you gesture broadly. The quieter and more introverted the less you move your arms away from your body. How do you gesture and what does it say about you?
Understanding gestures can help you increase your sales they help you think and help you read what other people are thinking. The first thing they do it show your personality to your prospect. Because your arms come out from your heart they show how open and receptive you are to everyone you meet and interact with, so when you open your hands wide and hold them high you show you are open to your prospect when hide them behind your back or glue them to your sides you show you are not willing to embrace the person or situation your in. Personality tests say that the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use your arms and the more you gesture broadly. The quieter and more introverted the less you move your arms away from your body. How do you gesture and what does it say about you?
We use more gestures when we’re excited or trying to communicate a difficult message. There are more than 100,000 possible hand signals using different combinations of postures, arm, and wrist or finger movements. No wonder we keep on doing that crazy hand jive! As a professional speaker, I use an enormous number of gestures. Research says lecturers make twice as many hand gestures as people who are talking one-on-one. Gesturing actually helps you access information in your brain and helps you form your messages. Think of gesturing as the way you pull out the file cabinet's in your brain to search for information.
To read more you can purchase my body language book at www.PattiWood.net by clicking on products.
Gesturing can help you think and speak from your heart. When you gesture you show your personality to your others. Why? Because your arms come out from your heart they show how open and receptive you are to everyone you meet and interact with, so when you open your hands wide and hold them high you show you are open, when you hide them behind your back or glue them to your sides you show you are not willing to embrace the person or situation your in. Personality tests say that the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use your arms and the more you gesture broadly. The quieter and more introverted the less you move your arms away from your body. How do you gesture and what does it say about you?
Understanding gestures can help you increase your sales they help you think and help you read what other people are thinking. The first thing they do it show your personality to your prospect. Because your arms come out from your heart they show how open and receptive you are to everyone you meet and interact with, so when you open your hands wide and hold them high you show you are open to your prospect when hide them behind your back or glue them to your sides you show you are not willing to embrace the person or situation your in. Personality tests say that the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use your arms and the more you gesture broadly. The quieter and more introverted the less you move your arms away from your body. How do you gesture and what does it say about you?
We use more gestures when we’re excited or trying to communicate a difficult message. There are more than 100,000 possible hand signals using different combinations of postures, arm, and wrist or finger movements. No wonder we keep on doing that crazy hand jive! As a professional speaker, I use an enormous number of gestures. Research says lecturers make twice as many hand gestures as people who are talking one-on-one. Gesturing actually helps you access information in your brain and helps you form your messages. Think of gesturing as the way you pull out the file cabinet's in your brain to search for information.
To read more you can purchase my body language book at www.PattiWood.net by clicking on products.
Body Language Tools to Build Confidence in Job Interviews
I just responded to a media request for tools to "... prepare people mentally to go into the interview and do the best they can. With the job market in the shape it is in now, people who have an interview are extremely lucky and they cannot afford to become stressed or "psyched out" before talking to a potential employer. I responded.
I am a body language expert I just had a coaching session with a client where we used some of my confidence building tools for job interviews.
One powerful technique to gain confidence and keep yourself from getting stressed during and interview is to imagine the emotions you want the interviewer to have about you and deliver the body language that elicits those emotions. For my client today the emotion he wanted the interviewer to feel was excitement. So you he said the word excitement and then moved and held his body up and leaned forward and gestured as he shared his positive work experiences . He smiled and even laughed as he relayed one particular story. He didn't feel excited in the moment before he started moving his body, he felt afraid. But he said, "It was weird as soon as I brought my shoulders back and smiled and put some energy in my voice I got it sighted." "It felt like I had just had a cup of Starbucks" So go into your interview showing excitement with up, energetic nonverbal behavior. Do know, of course that there are caveats to excitement being the appropriate response. But overall your demeanor can illicit the appropriate emotion for the situation.
A second techniques to build confidence is to move and hold your body “UP!” I created the label UP. to describe all upward posture and movements and facial expressions such as, head held up, gestures with up motions. When we are happy are body naturally moves up and holds itself up. When you hold or move your body the way you would like to feel the posture actually sends a message to the brain, “Hey I am feeling great, positive and up.” As you hold your body the little pharmacy in your brain starts producing the chemicals that match that state, (in as little as a 40th of a second.) and pumps them into your body and you begin to feel up. The combination of your up posture and movement up and chemical up state is felt by the interviewer. They start to give you attentive nonverbal cues and that makes you feel more confident. I call this the fake it till you make it technique. You only have to fake it for a fraction of a second before it actually effects how you feel.
A third tool is to choose a word that expresses how you would like to feel in your interview and then get into a posture that matches it. So if your word is CONFIDENT your put your body in an open position, arms away from your body, legs uncrossed shoulder back heart forward, extending eye-contact for as long as three seconds, and make your voice going down at the end of sentences. (We tend to tighten the vocal chords when we are tense and the high, sometimes screechy sound is not powerful. When we use positive words we can alter how are brain functions by increasing cognitive reasoning and strengthening areas in our frontal lobes. Using postie words in your life more than negative ones can kick-start the motivational centers of the brain, propelling them to action.
And a forth techniques is to use that same magic word to replace any negative thoughts you have about the interview. For example, replace the though, “ I am going to mess up is and forget what to say with your magic word. “I am going to be CONFIDENT and remember what I want to say.”
So imagine confidence and use the word to motivate yourself and move up to be more confident!
E-mail Patti - Patti@PattiWood.net
I am a body language expert I just had a coaching session with a client where we used some of my confidence building tools for job interviews.
One powerful technique to gain confidence and keep yourself from getting stressed during and interview is to imagine the emotions you want the interviewer to have about you and deliver the body language that elicits those emotions. For my client today the emotion he wanted the interviewer to feel was excitement. So you he said the word excitement and then moved and held his body up and leaned forward and gestured as he shared his positive work experiences . He smiled and even laughed as he relayed one particular story. He didn't feel excited in the moment before he started moving his body, he felt afraid. But he said, "It was weird as soon as I brought my shoulders back and smiled and put some energy in my voice I got it sighted." "It felt like I had just had a cup of Starbucks" So go into your interview showing excitement with up, energetic nonverbal behavior. Do know, of course that there are caveats to excitement being the appropriate response. But overall your demeanor can illicit the appropriate emotion for the situation.
A second techniques to build confidence is to move and hold your body “UP!” I created the label UP. to describe all upward posture and movements and facial expressions such as, head held up, gestures with up motions. When we are happy are body naturally moves up and holds itself up. When you hold or move your body the way you would like to feel the posture actually sends a message to the brain, “Hey I am feeling great, positive and up.” As you hold your body the little pharmacy in your brain starts producing the chemicals that match that state, (in as little as a 40th of a second.) and pumps them into your body and you begin to feel up. The combination of your up posture and movement up and chemical up state is felt by the interviewer. They start to give you attentive nonverbal cues and that makes you feel more confident. I call this the fake it till you make it technique. You only have to fake it for a fraction of a second before it actually effects how you feel.
A third tool is to choose a word that expresses how you would like to feel in your interview and then get into a posture that matches it. So if your word is CONFIDENT your put your body in an open position, arms away from your body, legs uncrossed shoulder back heart forward, extending eye-contact for as long as three seconds, and make your voice going down at the end of sentences. (We tend to tighten the vocal chords when we are tense and the high, sometimes screechy sound is not powerful. When we use positive words we can alter how are brain functions by increasing cognitive reasoning and strengthening areas in our frontal lobes. Using postie words in your life more than negative ones can kick-start the motivational centers of the brain, propelling them to action.
And a forth techniques is to use that same magic word to replace any negative thoughts you have about the interview. For example, replace the though, “ I am going to mess up is and forget what to say with your magic word. “I am going to be CONFIDENT and remember what I want to say.”
So imagine confidence and use the word to motivate yourself and move up to be more confident!
E-mail Patti - Patti@PattiWood.net
Body Language of Ed Westwick will be in In Touch Weekly
Today I was asked by In Touch weekly magazine to read the body language of Ed Westwick (the guy on the right) He ended his ended his “bromance” with co-star Chace Crawford (best friend/roomate) and is hanging out with another guy at a basketball game. Tune in Wednesday for the read.
What is Barbie's middle and last name?
My friend Mark just emailed me that Mattel's Barbie was "born" Barbie Millicent Roberts on March 9, 1959. This is important information. Read posts I wrote today on her attractiveness.
Barbie's Birthday and why men are attracted to Barbie's hour glass shape.
Barbie’s Birthday –Why girls and woman buy Barbie’s dolls and Why men our drawn to her hourglass figure.
Why are men attracted to the hourglass shape? Why do men like Barbies girls?
Large-breasted, narrow-waisted women have the highest reproductive potential, according to the newest research. Therefore, it is not a surprise that men are attracted to women with an hourglass shape. The attraction has a biological justification. If men choose to a woman with an hourglass shape they increase the chance that they will bear a child with her. (OK, perhaps not on the top of men's conscious minds when they are out cruising at a bar, put their primal wiring is working at the subconscious level. Their attraction has a biological justification. Poor men they just can’t help themselves. They love Barbie.
The research on the hour glass shape attraction shows that woman with a relatively low waist-to-hip ratio and large breasts had about 30 per cent higher levels of the female reproductive hormone estradiol than do women with other combinations of body shapes. (Research by Dr. Grazyna Jasienska, at Jagiellonian University in Krakow)
Barbie curves are now justified by science.
Writing in Proceedings B, the researchers led by Dr Grazyna Jasienska of Harvard University, said the hourglass figure was popular in Western cultures, but not in others across the world. (Just tell me where a short woman with a big tummy is attractive so I know where to move.)
She said men in non-Western societies did not seem to favor women with hourglass figures, and broader figures, indicating good nutritional status, were considered most attractive. (I think I show good nutritional status, mint thin Girl Scout cookies are very nutritious.)
However, in Western societies, the cultural icon of Barbie as a symbol of female beauty seems to have some biological grounding," added Dr Jasienska.
In Europeans it may well be that the hourglass body shape for women is more highly correlated with fecundity ( ability to get pregnant.) than is the case with other groups and that this is due to average genetic differences. There may have been co-evolution of the hourglass body shape as more fecund along with genetic changes that increased the attraction to that body shape.
The higher level of estradiol translates into 3 times higher likelihood to get pregnant.
"If there are 30 per cent higher levels, it means they are roughly three times more likely to get pregnant," Jasienska, a human biologist, told New Scientist.
The experts tell us that the physical features and characteristics considered to be "beautiful" are in fact subconscious indicators of fertility and good health, while some other features and characteristics are considered”unattractive" because they render a person less fertile or more susceptible to disease and parasite assaults. For example, a woman with an oestrogenized small chin and a small waist-to-hip ratio appears to be beautiful because these are physical features that indicate good fertility, childbearing ability and general health. In addition, of course a man has reciprocal features to indicate his facility to sire healthy children, and (apparently less importantly) support them and the mother.
Judging beauty involves looking at another person and subconsciously figuring out whether you want your children to carry that person's genes. We judge each other by nonverbal rules that we're often not even aware of at the conscious level. We may consciously admire Heidi Klum’s legs, but we're also viscerally attuned to small variations in the size and symmetry of facial bones and the placement of weight on the body.
Research correlates the physical attraction of human males to human females to certain basic physical features, regardless of culture. These include:
· signs of youthfulness (vigor, flexibility, bounciness, smooth skin);
· signs of health (clear skin, lack of disease, physical fitness);
· a good figure with an optimal hip-waist ratio and generous bust;
· facial and body symmetry;
· An infant like face.
The possession of beautiful characteristics by a woman acts as a 'certification of biological quality', offering her a significant mating advantage over other women in the competition for partners and reproduction - historically and today. All men are innately attracted to a beautiful woman, and she is thus more likely to be able to attract and select a high quality, high status, man as her mate - but women can often be pragmatic and he may not be the most beautiful (aka most handsome and physically attractive) partner available. It can be argued that women have an inherent ruthless streak that urges them to seek out the most beautiful mate to sire her children, and separately (and if necessary deceitfully) a high value partner who will best look after her and her children. Modern DNA testing is certainly revealing in many instances a woman's children are actually be sired by another, presumably often more "beautiful" man, than their husband - one study found that 1 in 8 of the children tested were probably calling the wrong man "Daddy"!
Why are men attracted to the hourglass shape? Why do men like Barbies girls?
Large-breasted, narrow-waisted women have the highest reproductive potential, according to the newest research. Therefore, it is not a surprise that men are attracted to women with an hourglass shape. The attraction has a biological justification. If men choose to a woman with an hourglass shape they increase the chance that they will bear a child with her. (OK, perhaps not on the top of men's conscious minds when they are out cruising at a bar, put their primal wiring is working at the subconscious level. Their attraction has a biological justification. Poor men they just can’t help themselves. They love Barbie.
The research on the hour glass shape attraction shows that woman with a relatively low waist-to-hip ratio and large breasts had about 30 per cent higher levels of the female reproductive hormone estradiol than do women with other combinations of body shapes. (Research by Dr. Grazyna Jasienska, at Jagiellonian University in Krakow)
Barbie curves are now justified by science.
Writing in Proceedings B, the researchers led by Dr Grazyna Jasienska of Harvard University, said the hourglass figure was popular in Western cultures, but not in others across the world. (Just tell me where a short woman with a big tummy is attractive so I know where to move.)
She said men in non-Western societies did not seem to favor women with hourglass figures, and broader figures, indicating good nutritional status, were considered most attractive. (I think I show good nutritional status, mint thin Girl Scout cookies are very nutritious.)
However, in Western societies, the cultural icon of Barbie as a symbol of female beauty seems to have some biological grounding," added Dr Jasienska.
In Europeans it may well be that the hourglass body shape for women is more highly correlated with fecundity ( ability to get pregnant.) than is the case with other groups and that this is due to average genetic differences. There may have been co-evolution of the hourglass body shape as more fecund along with genetic changes that increased the attraction to that body shape.
The higher level of estradiol translates into 3 times higher likelihood to get pregnant.
"If there are 30 per cent higher levels, it means they are roughly three times more likely to get pregnant," Jasienska, a human biologist, told New Scientist.
The experts tell us that the physical features and characteristics considered to be "beautiful" are in fact subconscious indicators of fertility and good health, while some other features and characteristics are considered”unattractive" because they render a person less fertile or more susceptible to disease and parasite assaults. For example, a woman with an oestrogenized small chin and a small waist-to-hip ratio appears to be beautiful because these are physical features that indicate good fertility, childbearing ability and general health. In addition, of course a man has reciprocal features to indicate his facility to sire healthy children, and (apparently less importantly) support them and the mother.
Judging beauty involves looking at another person and subconsciously figuring out whether you want your children to carry that person's genes. We judge each other by nonverbal rules that we're often not even aware of at the conscious level. We may consciously admire Heidi Klum’s legs, but we're also viscerally attuned to small variations in the size and symmetry of facial bones and the placement of weight on the body.
Research correlates the physical attraction of human males to human females to certain basic physical features, regardless of culture. These include:
· signs of youthfulness (vigor, flexibility, bounciness, smooth skin);
· signs of health (clear skin, lack of disease, physical fitness);
· a good figure with an optimal hip-waist ratio and generous bust;
· facial and body symmetry;
· An infant like face.
The possession of beautiful characteristics by a woman acts as a 'certification of biological quality', offering her a significant mating advantage over other women in the competition for partners and reproduction - historically and today. All men are innately attracted to a beautiful woman, and she is thus more likely to be able to attract and select a high quality, high status, man as her mate - but women can often be pragmatic and he may not be the most beautiful (aka most handsome and physically attractive) partner available. It can be argued that women have an inherent ruthless streak that urges them to seek out the most beautiful mate to sire her children, and separately (and if necessary deceitfully) a high value partner who will best look after her and her children. Modern DNA testing is certainly revealing in many instances a woman's children are actually be sired by another, presumably often more "beautiful" man, than their husband - one study found that 1 in 8 of the children tested were probably calling the wrong man "Daddy"!
Coaching to reduce Social Anxiety disorder
Most of you know that I both a professional speaker and a one on one coach. I have had so many clients in the last few years that are dealing with social anxiety issues. What does that mean. Well just like public speaking anxiety that makes you fearful before and or during speeches social anxiety disorder means that are are fearful before and or during social interactions. I had a Friend years ago who's anxiety was so high he was uncomfortable ordering a pizza over the phone. It makes sense that so many people are dealing with this stress. So many young people are not getting the normal practice of face to face interactions growing up. So in coaching I have several methods to deal directly with the clients fear anxiety and then we break down all the parts of the social interactions that the client has trouble with and we practice them and the client does fun doable homework projects in the real world until he or she is super comfortable. I love this work. The clients are always surprised at how much fun the coaching is. We laugh a lot and I am so pleased that we have the time for focused work so that even in one session the client can accomplish so much and I get to see the shift in their confidence and actual changes in their communication. I not sure if this is a normal blog entry, but I have had some great coaching sessions lately and I am so happy doing this work I wanted to ramble a bit about it. I think another time I will explain some of the tools I use int the coaching.
Openess, Approachablitly, body language and attraction
Openness,
Approachability, Body Language and Attraction
Here are some questions I recently answered as part of an
article for Health magazine
1.
We
talked about how women have a smaller stance and that it can make people think
you're a doormat.
That
is not a doormat stance just a regular stance. It simply means when women stand
with their feet less than five inches apart that they look a little less
powerful and are physically just easier to push over because their stance is
typically not as broad.
2.
How
would you recommend standing if you want to command respect, say with a
co-worker or with a teen?
Knowing
there is a fine line between respect and aggression I would say 6 to 8 inches
apart to give information and commands For example, should you stand up
straight or plant your feet a certain width apart.
3.
If you
notice that you cross your arms as a way of keeping people out, is there
another way you can hold your arms or hands that's more approachable, like
behind your back or something like that?
First
there are over 60 different ways of crossing your arms and reasons for all of
them. If you would like to look and feel approachable you want your hands to be
viewable. Think cave man brain, we want to make sure the person we approach is
not armed. Also you ideally want to show the palms of your hands, gesture with
open hand and keep the center of your body where your heart lies open or
unblocked. If your nervous you can rest an arm at your side and touch your
fingers together to give yourself an security anchor or briefly put on hand in
your pocket.
4.
What
if you notice that you cross your arms to hold in emotions or thoughts, is
there anything you can do with your body to help fix that? Sometimes you close
your arms down, just like a computer shuts down when it is on overload. You
fold your arms because you don’t want to take in and or give out more
information and you need to shut down to process it. When you’re ready you can
open your arms to accept more information. One tip if you are bored at a
meeting is to rest your full arms on the table reaching out toward the speaker
in a symbolic reach and give them your eye contact and smile. Research
indicates that audience’s energy and attention can improve the speaker’s
animation.
5.
You
said the body often lifts up when someone is happy. If you're depressed and you
notice that your body is going downward, can sitting up straight or lifting
your head actually lift your mood (the same way that smiling when you’re sad
can make you feel better)? Any time you change your body language and
paralanguage you are potentially changing the chemicals that are being sent
into your body. Lifting up your head, bringing your shoulders back, sitting up
and smiling can change your mood in less than a fraction of a second. I have
quite a bit of research on that and I am especially intrigued with the research
on smiling.
6.
We
talked about several signs that show physical attraction. These are opening or approach me signals rather
than pure attraction signals such as opening your palms or heart window to
someone.
7.
Is
there some other type of body language that might show openness to someone like
a new friend or a potential business partner? Turning your feet towards then.
Woman sometimes when they are attracted tilt their head and play with their
hair, while showing the palm. Guys sometimes increase their stance and puff up
their chest.
Visit the website at http://www.pattiwood.net
Tango dance scene to show matcing and mirroring.
If you love isopraxisim and matching and mirroring watch the formalized version of it in this dance scene from tango. It's absolutely wonderful.
Tango - Larroca
June 20, 2008, 09:24 AM
Wonderful dance sequence from the 1998 film 'Tango' directed by Carlos Saura and featuring music by Lalo Schiffrin. http://www.ModernJiveGermany.com
Tango - Larroca
June 20, 2008, 09:24 AM
Wonderful dance sequence from the 1998 film 'Tango' directed by Carlos Saura and featuring music by Lalo Schiffrin. http://www.ModernJiveGermany.com
Tips for Preventing Bad Breath.
I have other posts about the social consequences of bad breath here are tips to beat it.
I am a body language expert. I know it sounds funny, but I am also known as an expert on chewing behavior as a result of my research as the spokes person for Wrigley’s Spearmint chewing gum and an expert on smiling from my research as the National Spokes person for the Natural dentist tooth care products. As a result of my research, I know a lot about bad breath and mouth issues.
Your mother probably told you to chew with your mouth closed, but she may not have added that chewing actually helps you release enzymes that help clean your mouth. To keep your teeth and breath clean you should chew all you food thoroughly. If your a late night snacker, like me, make sure you chew something crunchy like celery before you go to bed or have a nice long conversation with someone. Keep that mouth moving. For late night eating especially, foods like fruit and cheese are much better for your teeth than sticky candy and other sweets. In fact, sweet,sticky, foods like dried fruit should really only be eaten with a meal, not as a between meal snack. It sticks on your teeth and because you don’t have a full meal of chewing the bacteria builds up and causes bad breath. After you eat, bacteria in your mouth feeds off the food left on your teeth. This is one of the major causes of bad breath. In addition this bacteria forms acids which attack tooth enamel and cause tooth decay. Saliva is your body's natural defense against tooth decay. When you chew your mouth makes lots of saliva which helps wash the acids and food particles away more quickly to reduce the attack on your teeth and help prevent tooth decay.
Three recommendations. Chew healthy sugar free gum after a meal or sticky snack or sugary beverage. If you’re out at a restaurant take a big swig of water and swish it around your mouth to loosen food off your teeth and then swallow. This may sound silly, but research shows it really does help considerably. If your self conscious about swishing water at the table, you can even hide the tooth swishing behind a napkin or visit the restroom.
Finally, if your lucky enough to be at a nice restaurant ask for a sprig or parsley and chew on it. The leaves of fresh parsley are rich in chlorophyll and act as a powerful neutralizer of bad breath. Chlorophyll is an anti-mutagen that acts as a very good deodorizer. It is especially good at reducing garlic-odor.Chewing on parsley sprigs dipped in vinegar also helps combat bad breath. This when chewed and swallowed and helps in improving the digestion. The sprigs of Parsley when swallowed also help in reducing intestinal gases that may further reduce bad breath. There you go
I am a body language expert. I know it sounds funny, but I am also known as an expert on chewing behavior as a result of my research as the spokes person for Wrigley’s Spearmint chewing gum and an expert on smiling from my research as the National Spokes person for the Natural dentist tooth care products. As a result of my research, I know a lot about bad breath and mouth issues.
Your mother probably told you to chew with your mouth closed, but she may not have added that chewing actually helps you release enzymes that help clean your mouth. To keep your teeth and breath clean you should chew all you food thoroughly. If your a late night snacker, like me, make sure you chew something crunchy like celery before you go to bed or have a nice long conversation with someone. Keep that mouth moving. For late night eating especially, foods like fruit and cheese are much better for your teeth than sticky candy and other sweets. In fact, sweet,sticky, foods like dried fruit should really only be eaten with a meal, not as a between meal snack. It sticks on your teeth and because you don’t have a full meal of chewing the bacteria builds up and causes bad breath. After you eat, bacteria in your mouth feeds off the food left on your teeth. This is one of the major causes of bad breath. In addition this bacteria forms acids which attack tooth enamel and cause tooth decay. Saliva is your body's natural defense against tooth decay. When you chew your mouth makes lots of saliva which helps wash the acids and food particles away more quickly to reduce the attack on your teeth and help prevent tooth decay.
Three recommendations. Chew healthy sugar free gum after a meal or sticky snack or sugary beverage. If you’re out at a restaurant take a big swig of water and swish it around your mouth to loosen food off your teeth and then swallow. This may sound silly, but research shows it really does help considerably. If your self conscious about swishing water at the table, you can even hide the tooth swishing behind a napkin or visit the restroom.
Finally, if your lucky enough to be at a nice restaurant ask for a sprig or parsley and chew on it. The leaves of fresh parsley are rich in chlorophyll and act as a powerful neutralizer of bad breath. Chlorophyll is an anti-mutagen that acts as a very good deodorizer. It is especially good at reducing garlic-odor.Chewing on parsley sprigs dipped in vinegar also helps combat bad breath. This when chewed and swallowed and helps in improving the digestion. The sprigs of Parsley when swallowed also help in reducing intestinal gases that may further reduce bad breath. There you go
Greeting and Goodbye touch rituals for couples
I was asked by a journalist to give some body language rituals for couples. Here is the first touch ritual too keep couples together and happy.
Always make a loving ritual of hello’s and goodbyes. That means coming from wherever you are in the house to greet your spouse with a kiss and or a hug hello when they come home. Go to them immediately, even if you are on the phone, cooking, or online. By immediately going towards each other to touch, your are communicating to your partner that he or she is the most important thing to you. You are saying nonverbally, "You come first." Greetings are designed to let someone who has left the tribal cave for the day know everything is safe in the home and they are welcome back in. It is wired into our primal brains that we should be on guard until we are warmly welcomed into a space. If fact, couples are more likely to argue later if there wasn’t a warm welcome home. In addition, kissing and or hugging goodbye symbolically says, "I leave you with love." With a touch goodbye you anchor to your mate. So the last memory of he has of leaving the home is that he is y surrounded by love. Touching on greeting and with goodbyes are small rituals with a big impact.
Always make a loving ritual of hello’s and goodbyes. That means coming from wherever you are in the house to greet your spouse with a kiss and or a hug hello when they come home. Go to them immediately, even if you are on the phone, cooking, or online. By immediately going towards each other to touch, your are communicating to your partner that he or she is the most important thing to you. You are saying nonverbally, "You come first." Greetings are designed to let someone who has left the tribal cave for the day know everything is safe in the home and they are welcome back in. It is wired into our primal brains that we should be on guard until we are warmly welcomed into a space. If fact, couples are more likely to argue later if there wasn’t a warm welcome home. In addition, kissing and or hugging goodbye symbolically says, "I leave you with love." With a touch goodbye you anchor to your mate. So the last memory of he has of leaving the home is that he is y surrounded by love. Touching on greeting and with goodbyes are small rituals with a big impact.
Crazy dance at liverpool train station in london. t mobile
If you haven't watched the huge dance experience at Liverpool station in London sponsored by t mobile Click below.
It is a beautiful example of isoprazism that is a pull towards the same energy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQ3d3KigPQM
Isn't it great. I just love how people dancing makes you move and want to dance as well. I don't want to take photos of the experience on my phone, I want to be in the experience and live it myself.
Recorded live at Liverpool station in London
And the video of the back story:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVFNM8f9WnI
It is a beautiful example of isoprazism that is a pull towards the same energy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQ3d3KigPQM
Isn't it great. I just love how people dancing makes you move and want to dance as well. I don't want to take photos of the experience on my phone, I want to be in the experience and live it myself.
Recorded live at Liverpool station in London
And the video of the back story:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVFNM8f9WnI
Rush Limbaugh has a new first impression
I was eating lunch today with my friend Dominic. All of sudden his eyes opened wide as he looked up at the TV on the wall of the restaurant and said, "What is Rush Limbaugh wearing!"
I turned around to find the conservative, red tie wearing, voice of the far right wearing black pants and a black shirt with the buttons open at the top and a large V or skin showing! Oh my goodness! Who is this guy?, and what has he done with his conservative "branding."
I just checked out his website and sure enough there are tons of photos of Rush in his new getup. I guess as Rush says, "He hopes Obama doesn't do well." he wants to represent they guy riding into town wearing the black hat rather than the white one. What a change of image. Rush Limbaugh looking like a mafia Donn. As a media coach I am stunned. Perhaps all black attire is his way of showing he is in morning for our economy and current president and the democratic majority of the house. And hum let me see, maybe his more casual dress is to appeal to all his radio listeners who are at home because they are out of work. Maybe his next getup will be a bathrobe. No the mafia fits best. He is out to look powerful hip and intimidating. I am not a Limbaugh fan...but I am so intrigued by this big image makeover. Just button up a bit though big guy.
I turned around to find the conservative, red tie wearing, voice of the far right wearing black pants and a black shirt with the buttons open at the top and a large V or skin showing! Oh my goodness! Who is this guy?, and what has he done with his conservative "branding."
I just checked out his website and sure enough there are tons of photos of Rush in his new getup. I guess as Rush says, "He hopes Obama doesn't do well." he wants to represent they guy riding into town wearing the black hat rather than the white one. What a change of image. Rush Limbaugh looking like a mafia Donn. As a media coach I am stunned. Perhaps all black attire is his way of showing he is in morning for our economy and current president and the democratic majority of the house. And hum let me see, maybe his more casual dress is to appeal to all his radio listeners who are at home because they are out of work. Maybe his next getup will be a bathrobe. No the mafia fits best. He is out to look powerful hip and intimidating. I am not a Limbaugh fan...but I am so intrigued by this big image makeover. Just button up a bit though big guy.
What body language does every happy couple need?
I wrote some body language tips for a piece in Glamour magazine today. Here they are.
· Always make a loving ritual of hello’s and goodbyes. That means coming from wherever you are in the house to greet your spouse with a kiss and or a hug hello when they come home. Go to them immediately, even if you are on the phone, cooking, or online. By immediately going towards each other to touch, your are communicating to your partner that he or she is the most important thing to you. You are saying nonverbally, "You come first." Greetings are designed to let someone who has left the tribal cave for the day know everything is safe in the home and they are welcome back in. It is wired into our primal brains that we should be on guard until we are warmly welcomed into a space. If fact, couples are more likely to argue later if there wasn’t a warm welcome home. In addition, kissing and or hugging goodbye symbolically says, "I leave you with love." With a touch goodbye you anchor to your mate. So the last memory of he has of leaving the home is that he is y surrounded by love. Touching on greeting and with goodbyes are small rituals with a big impact.
· Another recommendation is to eat at the table sitting kitty corner from one another at least once a week. Women like to sit face to face to read facial expressions and other nonverbal cues and men prefer to sit side by side so their hearts are not vulnerable. (physically and symbolically vulnerable) Sitting catty corner gives men more protection so they feel comfortable self disclosing and women enough access to their partners body language to feel at ease.
· The heart pumping love chemicals that couples produce when they are with each other reduce about two years into the relationship so if they haven't done it before, I recommend couples create a weekly adventure ritual. That mean going out and of having some kind of adventure or stimulating playing together. Whether it’s going someplace new, playing heart pumping board, or computer games, a fast paced who can make dinner fastest cooking contest in the kitchen, miniature golf with looser cleans the bathroom for a week, driving go carts, or snow skiing. Why? Because, exciting play increases the love chemicals monoamines including, dopamine, norepinephidrine, phenylethylamine (PEA) and serotonin. These chemicals basically, affect us like amphetamines, stimulants and painkillers. So they keep us feeling excited about our partner.
· I also recommend making love weekly. In the attachment sage of the relationship Oxytocin, the same chemical involved in childbirth and bonding to the infant, shows up in the blood of both men and women . Oxytocin is released during orgasm in both men and women. It has been postulated that the more sex the couple has, the more bonded they will become.
· In addition or sex and play I also recommend exercising together once a week Heart pumping hard exercising together, jogging, riding bikes, intense ball room dancing, etc. We release endorphins during and after sex. These give us that "feel good feeling" and exercise produces it too. Exercising together makes us associate feeling good with being with our partner.
Finally, I recommend a lock in once a month for 12 to 24 hours. You go into the bedroom for 24 hours, making sure to remove any electronic devises, TV, computers, IPods, cell phones. You stay in the room together without any external distractions. Your partner is it. Amazing to see what happens when there is no electronic device in between you and your sweetie.
· Always make a loving ritual of hello’s and goodbyes. That means coming from wherever you are in the house to greet your spouse with a kiss and or a hug hello when they come home. Go to them immediately, even if you are on the phone, cooking, or online. By immediately going towards each other to touch, your are communicating to your partner that he or she is the most important thing to you. You are saying nonverbally, "You come first." Greetings are designed to let someone who has left the tribal cave for the day know everything is safe in the home and they are welcome back in. It is wired into our primal brains that we should be on guard until we are warmly welcomed into a space. If fact, couples are more likely to argue later if there wasn’t a warm welcome home. In addition, kissing and or hugging goodbye symbolically says, "I leave you with love." With a touch goodbye you anchor to your mate. So the last memory of he has of leaving the home is that he is y surrounded by love. Touching on greeting and with goodbyes are small rituals with a big impact.
· Another recommendation is to eat at the table sitting kitty corner from one another at least once a week. Women like to sit face to face to read facial expressions and other nonverbal cues and men prefer to sit side by side so their hearts are not vulnerable. (physically and symbolically vulnerable) Sitting catty corner gives men more protection so they feel comfortable self disclosing and women enough access to their partners body language to feel at ease.
· The heart pumping love chemicals that couples produce when they are with each other reduce about two years into the relationship so if they haven't done it before, I recommend couples create a weekly adventure ritual. That mean going out and of having some kind of adventure or stimulating playing together. Whether it’s going someplace new, playing heart pumping board, or computer games, a fast paced who can make dinner fastest cooking contest in the kitchen, miniature golf with looser cleans the bathroom for a week, driving go carts, or snow skiing. Why? Because, exciting play increases the love chemicals monoamines including, dopamine, norepinephidrine, phenylethylamine (PEA) and serotonin. These chemicals basically, affect us like amphetamines, stimulants and painkillers. So they keep us feeling excited about our partner.
· I also recommend making love weekly. In the attachment sage of the relationship Oxytocin, the same chemical involved in childbirth and bonding to the infant, shows up in the blood of both men and women . Oxytocin is released during orgasm in both men and women. It has been postulated that the more sex the couple has, the more bonded they will become.
· In addition or sex and play I also recommend exercising together once a week Heart pumping hard exercising together, jogging, riding bikes, intense ball room dancing, etc. We release endorphins during and after sex. These give us that "feel good feeling" and exercise produces it too. Exercising together makes us associate feeling good with being with our partner.
Finally, I recommend a lock in once a month for 12 to 24 hours. You go into the bedroom for 24 hours, making sure to remove any electronic devises, TV, computers, IPods, cell phones. You stay in the room together without any external distractions. Your partner is it. Amazing to see what happens when there is no electronic device in between you and your sweetie.
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