What are the signals of flirting? I just did a piece for First For Woman Magazine. Here are some of the body language cues for flirting:
1. The Head Toss and Hair Flick
In this preening gesture the head is flicked back to toss the hair over the shoulders or away from the face. Men's eyes are designed to go toward movement. In this case it calls attention to the woman's sexy, shiny hair--a signal of health. The man's primal response is, "This woman would make healthy babies." Even women with short hair will toss or flick back their hair. It’s also a way for a woman to subtly show that she cares about how she looks to a man. This also lets her bring up her arm to expose her armpit. This may seem gross but it ensures that the woman's “sex perfume,” or pheromones, waft across to the target man. In the pheromones he can read the woman's genetic make up to sense whether she is a good genetic match for him.
2. Wet Lips and Pouting and or Mouth Slightly Open
Larger, thicker lips are a symbol of the female sexual vulva. Women's lips tend to be rounder and larger than men and the lips at the mouth are typically proportional to the woman's vulva lips. (Unless they have been enhanced with collagen injections.) Opening the mouth calls attention to them and pouting the lips mimics the sexual lips and creates an invitation to enter the lower lips.
When a woman becomes sexually aroused her lips, breasts, and genitals become larger and redder as they fill with blood. The use of lipstick is an Egyptian invention that is four thousand years old and is intended to mimic the reddened genitals of the sexually aroused female. This explains why, in experiments using photos of women wearing various lipstick colors, men consistently find the bright reds the most attractive and sensual.
3. Self-Touching
When a woman slowly and sensually strokes her thigh, neck, or throat it implies that if a man plays his cards right, he may be able to touch her in these same ways. She is saying I am doing this to me to let you know that you can do this to me. At the same time, her self-touch lets her imagine what it might feel like if the man was initiating the touch, which can be arousing for her and cause more of the sexual attraction changes to take place that make her more attractive to the man.
4. The Limp Wrist
Didn't you ever wonder why gay men are stereotypically given this nonverbal behavior? Well, think about this symbolizing an animal moving with a broken or injured limb. They are seen as weaker. Walking or sitting while holding a Limp Wrist is a submissive signal used exclusively by women and gay men. I remember watching on The Animal Planet a bird feigning a damaged wing to distract prey away from its nest. Using this gesture can attract a lot of attention to you by men. They see an opportunity to swoop in and feel dominant. Women of course have to be careful not to use this gesture in business situations as it seriously detracts from a woman’s credibility and others will fail to take her seriously, although some men will probably ask her for a date.
5. Fondling a Cylindrical Object
Fondling cigarettes, a finger, the stem of a wineglass, a dangling earring, or any phallic-shaped object is an unconscious indication of what may be in the mind. Taking a ring off and on the finger can also be a mental representation of having sex. When a woman does these things, a man is likely to symbolically try to possess her by fondling her cigarette lighter, car keys, or any personal item she has nearby.
6. Exposed Wrists
An interested woman will gradually expose the smooth, soft underside of her wrists to the potential male partner and will increase the rate she flashes her wrists as her interest grows. The wrist area has long been considered one of the highly erotic areas of the female body because it is one of the more delicate skin areas; it's uncertain whether this is a learned behavior or is innate, but it certainly operates on an unconscious level. The palms are also usually made visible to the man while she’s speaking. Women who smoke find the wrist-palm exposure simple to do while not smoking by simply holding the palm up beside the shoulder. The Exposed Wrist and Head-Toss gestures are often mimicked by homosexual males who want to take on a feminine appearance.
7. Sideways Glance Over Raised Shoulder
The Raised Shoulder is self-mimicry of the rounded female breasts. With partially drooped eyelids, the woman holds the man’s gaze just long enough for him to notice, then she quickly looks away. This glance produces the feeling of peeping in the woman who does it and being peeped at by the man who receives it.
8. Rolling Hips
For childbearing reasons, women have wider hips than men and have a wider crotch gap between the legs. This means that when a woman walks she has an accentuated roll that highlights her pelvic region. Men can’t walk like this, so it becomes a powerful sex difference signal. It also explains why few women are good runners, because their wider hips make their legs splay out to the sides when they run. Rolling of the hips is one of the subtle female courtship gestures that has been used for centuries in advertising to sell goods and services.
9. Pelvic Tilt
Medical evidence shows that a woman in excellent health and most capable of successfully bearing children has a waist-to-hips ratio of 70%; that is, her waist is 70% the size of her hips. This gives her what’s known as an hourglass figure. Throughout recorded history, this is the body ratio that has proved the most dramatic male attention-grabber. Men begin to lose interest when the ratio exceeds 80% and for most men, the greater or lesser the ratio, the less attentive he will be. He completely loses interest when her ratio reaches 100% but still maintains a level of interest when it drops below 70%. To highlight this ratio she just tilts her pelvis when she stands.
10. Handbag in Close Proximity
Most men have never seen the contents of a woman’s handbag and studies show that most men are afraid even to touch her handbag, let alone open it. A woman’s handbag is a personal item that’s treated by her almost as if it’s an extension of her body and so it becomes a strong signal of intimacy when she puts it close to a man. If she finds him particularly attractive, she may slowly fondle and caress her handbag. She can ask him to pass the handbag or even to retrieve something from it. Placing the handbag near him so he can see it or touch it is a strong signal she’s interested; keeping it away from him indicates emotional distance.
11. The Knee Point
One leg is tucked under the other and points to the person she finds the most interesting. This is a relaxed position, which also takes the formality out of a conversation and gives the opportunity for a fleeting exposure of the thighs.
12. The Shoe Fondle
Dangling the shoe on the end of the foot also indicates a relaxed attitude and has the phallic effect of thrusting the foot in and out of the shoe. This action unsettles many men without them knowing what is happening.
13. The Leg Twine
Most men agree that the Leg Twine is the most appealing sitting position a woman can take. It’s a gesture that women consistently use to draw attention to their legs. One leg is pressed firmly against the other to give the appearance of high muscle tone, which is a condition that the body takes when a person is ready for sexual performance.
Other leg signals used by women include crossing and uncrossing the legs slowly in front of the man and gently stroking the thighs with her hand, indicating a desire to be touched.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
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