Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog : 09/01/2014

Should You Pay to Get to Public Spaces?, Work Space and Territory

Private auctions of public parking spots are bad public policy. There is something wrong yet very interesting about how people compete for territory. When I go to the beach in Miami I often have an easy access through a gate requiring a hotel room key to get to the beach. Though it makes it easy for me, that access makes it harder for someone who is not paying $350 dollars a night to get to the ocean.

I think if you can’t equally compete for public space there is a problem. Here is an article about the problem with APPs that let only the rich and cell phone owners get the best access to space.

By Emily Badger June 26 in the Washington post

Flickr user Charley Lhasa

Meet MonkeyParking, an app that's been offering drivers in Rome and San Francisco this dubious proposition: "make money every time that you are about to leave your on-street parking spot."

The app facilitates what's essentially an auction. Maybe you've got precious public curb space you're about to give up. No doubt frustrated drivers are circling for just such a prize. MonkeyParking pairs the two – with bids starting at $5 a spot. The app's creators argue that such a marketplaceoptimizes parking supply and cuts down on the congestion and pollution that come from so many cars circling the block.

But if something about this idea – a private auction of a public asset – seems... not quite right, you are not alone. San Francisco's city attorney earlier this week sent MonkeyParking a cease-and-desist letter, citing police code that makes it illegal to “enter into a lease, rental agreement or contract of any kind” for public parking spots.

City code everywhere is full of regulations that have not quite caught up to potentially beneficial innovation. This is not an example of that.

Technology has suddenly made it possible to monetize on a large all kinds of things: Airbnb wants to commodify your spare bedroom, Lyft your empty passenger seat, TaskRabbit your spare time, 1000 Tools your unused power drill, Leftover Swap your, well, leftovers.

But all of these platforms share an unquestionable – if not universally appealing – premise: The seller is offering something that's arguably his or hers to give. Not so with MonkeyParking and a handful of other apps that have sprung up around the same concept (San Francisco is also warning off two other apps, Sweetch and ParkModo).

By straying into private transactions over communal assets, these apps are likely to produce a number of unintended (not to mention unfair) consequences. They threaten to price the poor and the smartphone-less out of parking. They could undercut a city's efforts to manage parking supply through holistic pricing policy. And they're likely to produce parking squatters – people who will wait to give up a spot until they know they've got a buyer.

Jenny Xie at CityLab had a good backgrounder last month on how ParkingMonkey works, and the rationale of its founder, Paolo Dobrowolny, who no doubt foresaw such a legal bind. "He argues MonkeyParking doesn't broker parking spaces themselves," Xie wrote, "but rather the valuable information that somebody is just about to leave a spot."

San Francisco is obviously not buying the distinction. Here's the threat from city attorney Dennis Herrera in announcing the cease-and-desist:

It’s illegal, it puts drivers on the hook for $300 fines, and it creates a predatory private market for public parking spaces that San Franciscans will not tolerate. Worst of all, it encourages drivers to use their mobile devices unsafely—to engage in online bidding wars while driving. People are free to rent out their own private driveways and garage spaces should they choose to do so. But we will not abide businesses that hold hostage on‐street public parking spots for their own private profit.

Drivers who use the app face $300 fines. MonkeyParking, by encouraging them to do so, could face $2,500 civil penalties under the state's Unfair Competition Law. What's more, Herrera warns that every download, purchase and sale of a parking spot may constitute a separate violation. The city has asked Apple to remove the app from its store (although, as of this writing, it was still available for download).

If the real goal here is to optimize parking, it's worth noting that San Francisco already does a better, more innovative job at this than just about any city of America.

Emily Badger is a reporter for Wonkblog covering urban policy. She was previously a staff writer at The At

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

How Fighting Changed Men’s Faces. How Prehistoric Punch-ups Shaped How Humans Look Today

Men have evolved to take a punch in the face, Our male ancestors may have developed more robust brows, jaws, cheeks, and molars for protection during fights over mates, food, and other resources. Parts of the face that have become stronger are the ones that most frequently break when modern humans fight. It rather puts on its ear our notion that prehistoric men fought more than modern men. Here is the article.

New study suggests facial features evolved to protect our ancestors from injury

STEVE CONNOR

Monday 09 June 2014

Bare-knuckle fighting helped to shape the human face which evolution has designed to minimise the damage inflicted by a fast-moving fist, according to a radical new theory about how violence changed the way we looked compared to our ape-like ancestors.

The transition in facial structure from apes to early hominins had previously been explained largely by the need to chew on nuts and other hard foods that needed crushing which led to a robust jaw, large molar teeth, a prominent brow and strong cheek muscles.

However, scientists have devised another plausible explanation based on the need for the face to be buttressed against the impact of flying fists which had become a principal weapon in unarmed combat between competing males.

“We suggest that many of the facial features that characterise early hominins evolved to protect the face from injury during fighting with fists,” said David Carrier and Michael Morgan in a study published in the journal Biological Reviews.

The researchers analysed the facial bone structures of a number of hominins, such as an early human ancestor known as Australopithecus, and compared them to apes and modern man. They found that the parts of the face that changed most were the ones most likely to be damaged in a fist fight.

They also found that these changes in facial anatomy closely coincided with the ability of the early hominins to clench their fists and to use them as swinging clubs in a fight – a key tactical change from the biting and scratching preferred by fighting apes.

The stronger facial bones of the australopiths (second and third rows) appeared at the same time that our ancestors learned to clench their fists, before declining along with upper body strength.

“Compared to apes like chimps and gorillas, early hominins had very robust jaws, with large molar teeth and strong jaw muscles. They also have very stout cheek bones and brow ridges,” said David Carrier of the University of Utah in Salt Lake City.

“The australopiths were characterised by a suite of traits that may have improved fighting ability, including hand proportions that allow formation of a fist, effectively turning the delicate musculoskeletal system of the hand into a club for striking,” Dr Carrier said.

“If indeed the evolution of our hand proportions were associated with selection for fighting behaviour you might expect the primary target, the face, to have undergone evolution to better protect it from injury when punched,” he said.

With his colleague Mike Morgan, a medical doctor at Utah University, Dr Carrier analysed the facial bones that were most likely to be fractured in fights between modern humans and found that these were the same bones that were most likely to have been changed during human evolution.

“When modern humans fight the face is the primary target. The bones of the face that suffer the highest rates of fracture from fights are the bones that show the greatest increase in robusticity during the evolution of early bipedal apes, the australopiths,” Dr Carrier said.

“These are also the bones that show the greatest difference between women and men in both australopiths and modern humans,” he said.

The gender differences in facial bones supports the view that they evolved to buttress the face against flying fists given that fights between males are more common than those between females.

“In other words, male and female faces are different because the parts of the skull that break in fights are bigger in males,” he said.

“In both apes and humans, males are much more violent than females and most male violence is directed at other males. Because males are the primary target of violence, one would expect more protective buttressing in males and that is what we find,” he added.

The large, thickly enamelled molar teeth of australopiths may have allowed the energy of an upward blow to the jaw, for instance, to be transferred from the lower jaw to the skull, allowing the energy to be absorbed with the help of jaw muscles, the scientists suggested.

“What our research has been showing is that many of the anatomical characters of great apes and our ancestors, the early hominins – such as bipedal posture, the proportions of our hands and the shape of our faces – do in fact improve fighting performance,” Dr Carrier said.

Five Surprising Facts About Love at First Sight, Recent Research on Love at First Sight

There's still a lot about love and sex that can't be easily quantified. Studies show "love at first sight" is real.

Dr. Earl Naumann, author of Love at First Sight, interviewed and surveyed 1500 individuals of all races, religions, and backgrounds across America, and concluded that love at first sight is not a rare experience. What's more, Dr. Naumann theorizes that if you believe in love at first sight, there's a roughly 60 percent chance it will happen to you. Here's what led him to that conclusion.

1. Nearly two thirds of the population believes in love at first sight.

2. Of the believers, more than half have experienced it.

3. Fifty-five percent of those who experienced it married the object of their affection.

4. Three quarters of these married couples stayed married.

5. How can you increase the chance love at first sight happens to you? By believing in it studies have found that partners who fell in love at first sight, in comparison to partners who got involved more gradually, entered into intimate relationships more quickly after they met and had mates with less similar personalities especially with regard to levels of extraversion, emotional stability and autonomy This, however, did not necessarily lead to a low relationship quality, as the positive impact of the first impression can compensate for the superficial manner of choosing the partner (Barelds & Barelds-Dijkstra, 2007; Sunnafrank & Ramirez, 2004).

Beyonce & Jay Z - A New Love Show

Jay Z tried to get frisky with Beyonce onstage during their On the Run tour. According to Patti, his body language says "She belongs to me sexually." Beyonce is rebuffing him as her whole body is closed off and her hand is blocking his heart from hers.

Patti gives this "Cold Shoulder" couple a 2 on the True Love Rating Scale for Life & Style.

In a more private setting, Beyonce seems to welcome Jay's advances. She is actually pressing her rear end up into him to communicate that.

Patti gives this "Drunk in Love" couple a 5 on the True Love Rating Scale for Life & Style.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

What Science Says Makes You Sexy, 5 things that can make you look sexy and irresistable.

Here is a great article on “The science of sexy: 5 things that can make you irresistible.”

I always new as a women that I think funny men are very sexy. And that laughing at a mans jokes can make a women appear more sexy. Here are other attributes that make someone sexy.

The article is below here is the link to it on THE WEEK’S site. http://theweek.com/article/index/262300/the-science-of-sexy-6-things-that-can-make-you-irresistible

From my favorite magazine called THE WEEK

Establish that you're hard to get in general — but very enthusiastic about the person you're with

By Eric Barker, Barking Up the Wrong Tree | June 10, 2014

If, unlike JT, you didn't bring sexy back, follow the rules below. (Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images)

1. Humor is sexy

Humor is attractive to men and women — but not in the same way. The research shows women like men who make them laugh, and men like women who laugh at their jokes.

Recent research suggests that while both men and women say they like a "good sense of humor" in a potential mate, they differ in what they mean by this phrase. Women tend to prefer men who make them laugh, whereas men tend to prefer women who laugh at their jokes.

Consistent with this, Robert Provine analyzed more than 3000 singles ads and found that women were more likely to describe their good humor appreciation ability whereas men were more likely to offer good humor production ability.

Why is humor sexy? Funny people are smart, and smart is sexy.

Gil Greengross and Geoffrey Miller found in a sample of 400 university students that general intelligence and verbal intelligence both predicted humor production ability (writing captions for cartoons), which in turn predicted lifetime number of sexual partners (a proxy of reproductive success). They found, however, that males showed higher average levels of humor production ability, which is consistent with the sexual selection perspective. From these results, Greengross argues that a sense of humor evolved at least partly through sexual selection as an intelligence indicator.

So ladies can boost their attractiveness by chuckling a bit more.

And guys, you can garner more attention by learning how to make women laugh.

Men in the "humor" condition received phone numbers from 42.9 percent of the female participants and were refused 57.1 percent of the time. In comparison, men in the "no humor" condition were refused 84.6 percent of the time and were only accepted 15.4 percent of the time. In other words, men who were observed as the humor producers of the group were nearly three times as likely to receive a phone number than those who were observed as laughing at a friend's joke instead.

2. Being liked is sexy

Want to increase someone's interest in you? Might be worthwhile to make sure they find out you're interested in them.

Dr. Aron affirmed that the subjects' expectation that the other person was going to like them had a huge effect. "If you ask people about their experience of falling in love, over 90 percent will say that a major factor was discovering that the other person liked them," according to Dr. Aron.

This idea is affirmed by studying the effectiveness of "playing hard to get." What's the best way to play that game?

Establish that you're hard to get in general — but very enthusiastic about the person you're with.

As a result of the interviews, the researchers speculated that the best strategy would be to give a potential date the impression that in general you were hard to get (and therefore a scarce resource worth having) but really enthusiastic about him or her specifically. They tested this notion by using some of the same techniques… and found overwhelming evidence to support their hypothesis.

3. What you talk about is sexy

Random conversation with someone you're interested in can be a bad idea. Why? What you talk about can matter — a lot.

Emotional, personal information exchange promotes powerful feelings of connection.

Arthur Aron, a psychologist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, is interested in how people form romantic relationships, and he's come up with an ingenious way of taking men and women who have never met before and making them feel close to one another. Given that he has just an hour or so to create the intimacy levels that typically take weeks, months, or years to form, he accelerated the getting-to-know-you process through a set of thirty-six questions crafted to take the participants rapidly from level one in McAdams's system to level two.

How effective is it? In under an hour it can create a connection stronger than a lifelong friendship.

What he found was striking. The intensity of the dialogue partners' bond at the end of the forty-five-minute vulnerability interaction was rated as closer than the closest relationship in the lives of 30 percent of similar students. In other words, the instant connections were more powerful than many long-term, even lifelong relationships.

That said, don't get so nervous about your words that you can't speak…

When a woman is very attracted to a man, whether his pickup line is good or not doesn't matter at all.

When women are looking for a short-term fling, however, it may be a different story. One study conducted on college students found that women favored men for a short-term fling if they found the men attractive regardless of the content of their pickup lines.

4. Personality is sexy

Conscientiousness is predictive of a number of very important positive elements in life.

Agreeable, conscientious people make better spouses and parents — but disagreeable, non-conscientious people have more sex partners. The former invest in quality, and it seems like the latter make up the difference in, well, volume.

Looking to settle down? Check if that person has their ducks in a row, is organized, and easy to get along with. That's marriage material.

Nettle and Clegg reported that in a sample of 545 people, men (but not women) with low levels of agreeableness and conscientiousness tended to have a higher number of sexual partners. It has also been found cross-culturally, across 10 world regions, that low levels of agreeableness and conscientiousness are related to higher levels of sexual promiscuity and relationship infidelity, so there may be reproductive benefits to those on the low end of these traits.

5. How they make you feel is sexy

Research shows we don't really fall in love with a person — we fall in love with how we feel when we're with them.

This is best demonstrated by the concept of emotional contagion: We're bad at telling what made us feel a certain way, but good about making associations.

Feeling excited, stimulated, and aroused is often associated with the people around us, even if they're not the cause.

This can be taken to extremes: having someone try to kill you can actually make you more attracted to them.

Those in the high-fear condition did show, for example, significantly more desire to kiss my confederate (one of the key questions) and wrote more romantic and sexual content into their stories. Looking at the details of these results, I found that the situation had generated, quite specifically, romantic attraction.

You might find the notion that we're just "feeling junkies" un-romantic, but this idea can save relationships and prevent divorce.

By doing things that rekindle those exciting feelings, love can be restored:

…if partners experience excitement from other sources (such as novel and challenging activities) in a shared context, this shared experience can reignite relationship passion by associating the excitement with the relationship. ["Marital Boredom Now Predicts Less Satisfaction 9 Years Later" from Psychological Science, Vol. 20, #5]

http://bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com/2014/05/men-find-women-more-attractive-with.html
http://bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com/2014/02/the-research-shows-anti-redhead.html
http://bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com/2010/09/attraction-tips-smiling-and-eye-contact.html

Apps: Has Disruptive Tech Gone Too Far?

Sofia & Joe are Stuck Like Glue

After three months together, Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello are not much for giving each other space. During a July stroll, Patti says she likes the way that Sofia gently hangs onto Joe's hand. His arm around her, while his left hand is in his pocket, is such an alpha male gesture. In August, their roles were reversed during a shopping trip in Malibu. Sofia is like a child with a brand-new toy. She is grabbing Joe like she is saying, "He's mine!"

July photo gets a 4 on the Life & Style True Love Rating Scale

August photo gets a 3 on the Life & Style True Love Rating Scale.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

People Don't Like Anything (or Anyone) Moving Toward Them

People Don't Like Anything

(Or Anyone)

Moving Toward Them

There is a new study discussed in the October Harvard Business Review that says people don't like anything or anyone moving towards them. The research the interview is based on is called Approach Aversion: Hedonic Reactions Toward Approaching Stimuli.

http://faculty.chicagobooth.edu/christopher.hsee/vita/Papers/Approach%20Aversion.pdf

The third research study method had a video tape of a man walking toward the subjects

viewing the tape, walking backward away from them and walking in place. The researchers found complex results but, in the discussion in the Harvard review they recommend that speakers not step forward towards their audiences when they speak as the subjects in the original study had an approach aversion result. Though the subjects in the study viewed the man approaching them on tape negatively no matter how he approached I wonder if because it was a video tape rather than a live person who could establish rapport? I think there is another way to look at it as well.

As a body language expert and presentation skills trainer I strongly recommend moving toward the audience to break through the "stranger barrier" and establish rapport with the audience and to indicate that the you are the one in charge and have power. So there may be another benefit that goes along with the advance aversion finding. You can briefly shock your audience by moving towards them and thus capture their attention. I am a short blond women so I know moving into the audience is a significant advantage for me as a professional speaker.

The research study had the man on the tape use different facial expressions. In on his facial expressions where neutral, another he was somewhat frowning and in the positive he was somewhat smiling. There are gender based differences in many aspects of persevered power and perceived fear. I do believe that men need to be more careful about moving toward their audiences to start their speeches. They should give what I call "softening signals" first such as smiles, as in the studies, but be very careful what kind of smiles. Having done research on smiling for many years a small change can make an enormous difference in the perception and emotional response. You may want to look at my blog posts on smiling to see what a true full face smile looks like and practice smiling all the way to eyes so you have the little pockets under your eyes and the small lines radiating outward as well as a relaxed lips smile. The smile is helpful to make your approach be less threatening, but I advise you also open up the front of the body, showing the palms of their hands, raising the eye brows in an eyebrow flash and perhaps if they are tall or otherwise imposing, tilting their head to the side very briefly before or as they move forward. You might also make sure your opening is positive and warmly given so your voice (para language) agrees with the warm opening.

How To Stay Positive

I love this funny little video. It is so hysterical. This little girl knows how to get her day started right. My new morning ritual is to start the day like she does!

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=393561765678

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Silence is the New Luxury in a Resort. Why Quiet is a New Trend for Luxury Hotels.

Last week I stayed at a Beach Front Room at a Ritz Carlton in Florida, The Penthouse Suite in an Omni Hotel in Houston and a Luxury Hotel in Ft Lauderdale and in all three hotels I wore my noise canceling headset in the room because the outside noise be it a live Reggae Band, or Cars on the highway were so loud. It does not surprise me that the latest trend in luxury travel doesn’t involve thread count or a seaweed-mud wrap. It’s silence. Hotels from luxury resorts to business-travel chains are marketing things like noise-free zones, triple-paned glass, soundproof walls, and serene settings where the whole sell is the ability to hear a pin drop. As an introvert on the Myers Briggs personality indicator that is music make that blessed silence to my ears. Here is a fun article on the subject.

Thought you might be interested in this: People will pay a lot of money for some peace and quiet. http://for.tn/1q7oFvT

Facts About Online Dating

· Match.com reports that 44% of its members in the United States have children.

· On free dating sites, at least 10% of new accounts are from scammers.

· One-third of people who have used online dating have never actually gone on a date with someone they met on these sites.

· Thirty-three percent of online daters form a relationship, 33% do not, and 33% give up.

· On internet dating sites, men who reported incomes higher than $250,000 received 156% more email than those with $50,000.

· One-in-five online daters have asked someone else to help them with their profile.

· Many online daters enlist their friends in an effort to put their best digital foot forward.

· Some 22% of online daters have asked someone to help them create or review their profile. Women are especially likely to enlist a friend in helping them craft the perfect profile—30% of female online daters have done this, compared with 16% of men.

· Online dating peaks among people in their mid-20s through mid-40s. Some 22% of 25-34 year olds and 17% of 35-44 year olds have used an online dating site or mobile dating app.

· 45-54 year olds are just as likely to date online as are 18-24 year olds (8% of 45-54 year olds and 10% of 18-24 year olds are online daters). This might seem counterintuitive—aren’t most of those 18-24 year olds single? But middle-aged adults are often described as a “thin dating market,” meaning that they have a relatively limited number of available partners within their immediate social circles.

· Ninety-two percent of single parents would rather date other single parents.

· 5% of Americans who are in a marriage or committed relationship say they met their significant other online.

· Despite the wealth of digital tools that allow people to search for potential partners, and even as one-in-ten Americans are now using one of the many online dating platforms, the vast majority of relationships still begin offline. even among Americans who have been with their spouse or partner for five years or less, fully 88% say that they met their partner offline–without the help of a dating site.

Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog

Search This Blog