Should You Date a Coworker?
I'm a body
language expert, speaker, author and coach. My first dissertation topic was
dating in the workplace. I did research on the topic for two years.
If you know
all of your policies and procedures in the workplace allow it, I think it's
absolutely fine to date coworkers. I just
recommend being very clear and specific about your expectations.
Before you go
out on one single date:
·
Discuss
how you will act and what you see your behavior and their behavior looking
like.
·
What
will you say and do what will they say and do? For example, Do you expect them
to greet you or say goodbye differently?
·
Do
you want to ask that they not visit you in your office space during the day?
·
What
conversations, endearments and nonverbal behaviors are acceptable or
unacceptable?
·
Are
you comfortable with them sharing details about you and your dates?
Here is the
most important thing to know and rule to follow when dating coworkers. Don't
keep it a secret! It sounds counterintuitive but makes it known to your boss
and your close coworkers that you are going out on a date. My feeling is, if
you are too uncomfortable to make the date public you don't respect the person
enough to date them.
In my
research I found it was keeping any dating or relationships a secret from your
team members that seem to cause the most problems both for the people dating
and fellow coworkers.
Even
seemingly innocent deceptions can pervert your actions and lead to miss
perceptions and tension. Be up front and be a grown-up.
