Tools to Reduce First Date Stress

Tools To Reduce First Date Stress 

by Patti Wood Author of SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma. www.PattiWood.net

1. Relaxation Technique and anchoring :  Tension and stress can literally make your make your heart race so before your date, even in the days leading up to it start training your mind and body to let go of stress. Put aside a few minutes of time in which you can fully relax. That may mean lying down or sitting in a comfortable chair breathing and tensing and relaxing your muscles. You start by breathing in deeply on a count of three, and tensing and relaxing your feet by pointing them downwards and then go through all your major muscle groups going up from your feet up through your legs, stomach, throat, jaw, and facial muscles. As you tense and release, breathe in on a slow count of three, hold three, and release on a slow count of three, the entire time. You may relax by closing your eyes, or looking at a peaceful scene (such as a photograph of water or the trees outside your window), or even by taking a walk. When you feel your body totally relaxed, place your hand on your belly, and breathe in and out slowly. The hand on your stomach becomes a physical anchor, linking you to a memory of your relaxed state. If you practice this technique any time your put your hand on your stomach your bodies muscle memory will recall the state and you will instantly be relaxed. Now whenever you get nervous before a first date, place your hand on your stomach and relax!
2. Visualization:  When we are nervous about a first date, we tend to imagine everything that can go wrong and have the video looping in our brain of all those imagined mishaps. You can reduce your stress by replacing a script of a failing with a script of a wonderful successful first date. When you are under stress your brain goes to the script we have rehearsed the most and that involved the most senses. So imagining your date the way, encompassing all the senses. Get in a relaxed state and imagine yourself being on a great first date. If you can see or imagine the actual place you are going, if you can picture that exact space and your date sitting with you. See yourself in the clothes you will be in, feel your body move confidently and hear yourself speak with ease and energy. Visualize the strong eye contact you’re making. See in your mind your date smiling and interested in what you are saying and you doing the same for your date. Feel the strong connection. Let the strong sense of confidence fill you up and embrace the excitement, enthusiasm, and energy of that meeting. Hear in your mind your own strong voice, as well as the laughter of you and your date. Feel the ease of being with your date. Rehearse your first date success throughout the day and before you go to sleep at night. And have the fun on your date that you have imagined. 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.