Bystander intervention and "good samaritan" behaviors in the era
of covid. Are we becoming more or less caring? What would you do
- and what should you do - when you see a stranger in distress?
I have noticed and discussed a behavior change with
my clients, audiences, and media. I really liked the options that AOC had on her
Twitter feed after the Comic Sexually harassed her on the steps last week, and
I have been thinking about this from a nonverbal perspective as well as an
expert in DISC personality assessment
We see more risk-taking, rule-breaking behavior
that started during lockdown when a larger percentage of high-risk takers, the
“Drivers” and “Influencers” on the DISC personality inventory, were out without
the usual “Correctors” and “Supporters.” That would typically model good rule-following
behavior to prevent and stop it. Instead, for two years, the rule breakers have
experienced an unprecedently freedom to do whatever they want. They have even increased
their bad behavior to get to an increased “Rush” from the rule-breaking
behavior, similar to a drug addict increasing their drugs or upping to a more
dangerous drug.
So now that the rule followers are out and about,
they are dealing with rule breakers that are more likely to feel all-powerful,
that space and resources are theirs and can not be stopped. That’s a much more dangerous
kind of person to deal with if you are trying to help someone being harmed or
harmed by them. Our limbic brains respond
to danger with one or more stress responses FREEZE Flight Fall, Faint, or Friend.
The Danger of being a “Good Samaritan” has
increased because of the fear of catching Covid in regular face-to-face interpersonal
interactions closer than six feet.
So I recommend that people assess the Danger of
interacting before interacting. If you are freezing in place, for example, ask
yourself if you are genuinely in Danger before acting. If your feet spread and
your hands go into fists, should you jump in and fight or not?
There are simple things a good Samaritan can do,
such as pull over in their car and get far behind someone of color who has been
pulled over by the police, staying far enough away not to be in Danger but to
act as an observer.
If someone is being actively harassed and you don’t
feel safe actively intervening, you can also stay six feet away and give a critical
look and act as an “I am watching you, so you better stop” Samaritan.
You and ask, “Do you want help now?” “I am here. Do
you want me to call for help?”
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