Body Language Read of Sofia and Joe's Balancing Act

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

How To Change Your Life

How to Change Your Life

By Patti Wood MA, CSP

What you resist persists and grows stronger. What are you resisting? Are you resisting being mad at your boss, a family member or sweetie? Are you resisting gaining more weight or exercising? Are you resisting changing a bad habit?

Do you need to move toward something positive rather than sit back? Do you need to move forward to what you want rather than pull away from what you don’t want?

When you stop resisting, let go and allow, you can release an enormous amount of energy that is holding that resistance (or block) in place. It is like trying to hold a huge beach ball under water all the time, it's exhausting. You can free up that energy for the things that you want and not what you don't want or are resisting. And what we usually resist is pain, or feeling our pain. The more you don't listen or resist, the louder your pain has to shout.

It is interesting to me that when you set a goal to make a change in your life how the universe offers both gifts to make that change and opportunities for you to be challenged to not make the change.

For example, if you decide to make a change and say, “I don’t want to be a victim. The universe may place you in situations where you would normally be a victim. Your wallet or purse might be stolen, a relationship may have conflict, or end and so may a job. In those situations you can say, “Why does this always happen to me?” or you ask, “How can I act differently in this situation so I don’t feel like a victim?” “How can I be strong in this situation?” If you say, “I don’t want to get mad all the time,” the universe may put you in situations where it would be easy to get mad. So you have the choice to go down that path or say, “What could I do or say that would be the opposite of getting mad.” Or “If you say, “I am ready to communicate more effectively and say my feelings out loud.” You may be put in situations that challenge you to do just that. Perhaps you have to say something to an angry boss or sweetie or speak out against the team’s ideas in a meeting and risk criticism. You can learn from the challenge and grow stronger like a racer who moves from flat road to mountain peaks or you can sit on your sofa in your socks saying your feet hurt.

What are you going to do to make your life better? Are you ready to grow? Here are some recommendations:

1. Say what you want rather than what you don’t want.

2. In the moment where you find yourself wanting to do the old thing ask yourself what you could try to do differently.

3. Be gentle with yourself if you do it the old way and notice it!

4. Get a support system.

5. Don't wait until it feels right, start now!

6. Share your goals.

7. Don't give up!

And remember. There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands.

Quick, Easy and Clever Halloween Costumes

10 last minute Halloween costume ideas that are quick and easy to create from stuff you already have in the house

Strap a flashlight or two into a belt and wrap tight with duct tape then put on a sheet with big eye holes. It gives a whole new meaning to ghost.
Put your phone headset on your head. (One of the ones that goes over your head with the mike in front.) Put on oxford shirt and khakis and go around saying, "Please hold." And "how can I help you today?" To dress like tech support.
Put white powder in your hair or grey wig, and strap, sew or hot glue office supplies to your body, a stapler, notebook, pens, paperclips and post its to your clothes and say you're an old desktop computer.
If you're single, hot glue recipes and perhaps a measuring spoon and a whisk and such to an apron put it on over a white shirt and black pants say you're a chef looking for a food critic to cook for or that you're a future contestant for top chef and you would like to try out some recipes.
Go to the dollar store or grocery store and get tons of boxes of Cracker Jack. Hot glue them to a buttoned shirt, tell people you're the Cracker Jack surprise.
Carry an open newspaper and say you're the last subscriber to the daily paper. (Read the paper first as people will ask you what you've read)
Dress in all deep purples and carry or attach a dinner knife, a bag of white bread and jar of peanut butter. You are a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Dress all in black (that can be fun) or brown attach or carry a coffee cup cream and sugar and say you're a cup of coffee.
Find all the birthday cards around the house, hot glue them to an outfit, along with birthday candles, a paper table cloth and an empty box of cake mix and say you're a birthday party.
Put a couch throw around your shoulders strap on a pillow from the sofa, a TV remote and some popcorn, and you're a couch potato.

And a few more

Look up conversation starters or questions to start conversations on the internet and print a ton of them, then cut them into strips, glue them on your clothes and you are a conversation starter. My book strapped to your waist is also a good opener.

Print out a ton of photos of all the things that interest you, your fav foods, and places to travel, people, books and famous people, tape them on. You're PINTREST (The website where you pin photos.)

Put on all black, a cap, mask, gloves and tennis shoes and take all your purses and hang them all over you to be a purse snatcher.

If you have dark hair and a big smile, put on a white shirt and white pants and red lipstick and carry a clip board and you’re Madge the Progressive Insurance girl. (Have a YouTube video of her commercial on your phone ready to play.)

If you’re a guy put on a business suit, make a table out of cardboard that you can fit around your waist or sit on the floor and have people gather around you in a circle and ask inane questions and you’re the AT&T guy in the cute commercial with the kids.

Take all the old ties from the closet pin and or wrap them around you. Swing by a Thai restaurant for some take out boxes, menus and chopsticks and you are Thai food.

Dress up like a witch, but instead of a broom bring a Swiffer or little vacuum to be a modern day witch.

Put on all your sports related clothing, hats, shoes etc. (please no Miley Cyrus foam finger) and go as a sports fan. You can even go as a fan.

I am going to dinner with friends on Halloween but, we are not dressing up. Instead we are going to play twenty questions and have each other guess what famous person we would dress up for.

Job Interview Mistakes and Tips to Avoid Them

Job Interview Mistakes and Tips to Avoid Them

I was recently interviewed by Monster.com on interviewing mistakes. Here is the full article. For more information on body language for interviews you can get my book, “SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma.”

7 Rookie Job Interview Mistakes You Need to Avoid

Nail the Audition by Avoiding These Common Snafus

By Daniel Bortz | October 13, 2015

Many recent college graduates flunk their first job interview. In fact, that’s an understatement, according to an Office Team survey that asked senior managers to recount the most embarrassing interview mistakes they’ve witnessed.

Some of the more cringe-worthy stories: an interviewee was so nervous she almost fainted; one dude fell asleep; one candidate even did a song-and-dance routine in hopes of getting the job (err, the performance didn’t go so well).
The list goes on.
However, the most common job interview blunders are less jaw-dropping. To ace the audition, avoid these rookie slipups.
1. Forgetting to do your homework
It sounds basic, but many job seekers don’t sufficiently research the company ahead of time, says Belinda Plutz, founder of the New York-based Career Mentors Inc.
“So many people look at the job posting and the company’s website but don’t dig deeper,” she says.
Start with a simple Google search for recent news about the organization; a new client acquisition, for example, is a good talking point. Study the company’s competition and stay on top of industry news, advises Plutz.
Social media is also a good source for current information about the company, says Atlanta career coach Hallie Crawford, so review the company’s recent tweets and Facebook posts.
2. Walking in unprepared
Call ahead to find out specifics, including what to bring, and how long you should plan to be there. “If they say 30 minutes and you’re out in two hours, you know it went well,” Plutz says.
Ask whom you’ll be meeting with so you can gather intel on each person. Check their LinkedIn and mention commonalities (same alma mater?) or interesting projects the person has worked on. Don’t worry about coming across as a stalker.
“LinkedIn is public for a reason,” says Crawford. “Today’s managers expect you to look them up ahead of time.”
3. Reciting scripts
It’s prudent to prepare responses to common questions (e.g., “Tell me about yourself”), but don’t be robotic. Instead of memorizing answers and repeating them line-by-line, focus on the overall concept.
“It’s like giving a good PowerPoint presentation,” says Crawford. “You have your talking points, but every time you present it, it’s a little different.”
4. Asking the wrong questions, or (gasp!) none at all
You’re there to be interviewed, but take advantage of the face time by asking thoughtful questions. Avoid run-of-the-mill queries so you stand out.
Limit yourself to three questions, since the hiring manager’s time is finite. Find out whether it’s a new position.
“If it’s brand new, ask why they created the job,” advises Plutz. If you’re replacing someone, ask why the person left or why they got promoted, and whether it’s the company’s preference to promote from within.
Crawford recommends inquiring about the expectations for the first 30, 60, and 90 days. “You’ll get a flavor of what the job is like without being mundane and asking, ‘What’s a typical day like?’” she says.
Last, pose a question that establishes a personal connection with the hiring manager; for example, “I saw from LinkedIn you’ve been here for four years. What has your experience been like?”
5. Overlooking your body language
Nonverbal communication can create a great first impression—or immediately turn off a hiring manager. “When we talk about getting a gut feeling about someone, what we’re really talking about is reading his or her nonverbal cues [subconsciously],” says Atlanta-based body language expert Patti Wood.
To improve your posture and eye contact, role-play the interview with a friend. Also, make sure you have a firm handshake—research shows that if it’s weak or flaccid, the hiring manager might assume you lack confidence.
Don’t be stiff, says Wood, who recommends occasionally leaning forward with your head, upper torso, or whole body to show you’re interested in what the interviewer is saying, and remember to smile.
6. Talking salary
An initial interview isn’t the right time to discuss compensation unless the hiring manager broaches the subject. The same goes for benefits like vacation days, telecommuting options, and flex-time, which “aren’t relevant until they’re more serious about hiring you,” says Crawford. Save those topics for the final interview.
7. Botching the follow-up
Set expectations at the end of the interview three questions: “What’s the next step in the process?” “When do you want to bring someone on board?” and “How should I follow up with you?”
Instead of relying on your memory, Plutz says make notes of what you spoke about immediately after the interview and send a short thank-you email within 48 hours that cites specifics from the conversation (e.g., “The way you described the company culture really resonated with me”).
Give references a heads-up they might be hearing from the company and supply each person with an updated resume, says Crawford.

Body Language Read of Obama, Putin, Castro, Nazarbayev, Sergei Lavrov and Kerry

Body Language Read of Obama, Putin, Castro, Nazarbayev, Sergei Lavrov and Kerry

Some of you know I analyzed the body language of Obama, Putin and other world leaders at the UN meetings recently. Here is the link to my interview for a Russian TV show that broadcasts worldwide.

One of the New Stations sent a reporter from Miami last week to tape at the house. I can’t resist sharing this link, because they lead with me walking the Bo dog. Bo was in one of my first media pieces years ago for Creative Loafing, and of course he was the number one Dog Star when I was the National Spokesperson for Pup-peroni, but I was really touched that the reporter fell in love with Bo. Everyone fell in love with him. Now, I have a video of my baby dog in his last week. By the way, I was carrying him up and down the stairs and he had stopped taking walks, but when he saw that video camera he perked right up. My baby dog will always be special.

Here is s link -
http://www.ntv.ru/novosti/1542530/

Obama Handshake - Obama gives a cover smile as he enters the room. He pulls down the corners of his mouth. Men think they are smiling covering up their true emotional state but he is not covering. The fact that it lasts more than three seconds shows he is deliberately trying to control. You see how the lower lip is pushed up which shows anger and resignation to the task, little asymmetrical shows some contempt. Both visibly tighten their lips showing hidden opposition.

Obama and Castro sit down meeting. Obama sadly has an up and vocal delivery up and down melody, but his voice was flat. Castro acted like he was at a birthday party. His body language was up, animated, friendly and energetic. Castro made broad sweeping gestures and Obama made matching friendship cues. Obama leaned toward Castro and faced him directly. We move close to and give our heart towards what we like.

Obama and Nazarbayev - The president of Kazakhstan presses his lips tightly together. For the photo Obama has a forced teeth bared grin that’s more aggressive but he goes into a tight flat lipped suppressed emotion facial expression.

"He's letting the world know he is not very happy with Putin" explained Body Language Expert Patti Wood.
While most politicians have their "game face" that shows that nothing bothers them, Wood said Obama made the choice to use his body language to express his feelings toward Putin on Monday.
Overall, Wood described, Obama used "a cluster of cues" to tell Putin "I don't respect and honor you enough to give you my time, to enjoy this process or enjoy this moment. I'm being forced to do this"
While Wood explained that Obama has been more likely to show his displeasure in certain situations than other Presidents she has observed "this was really obvious."
"It is highly unusual to show that much emotion," Wood noted.
Wood described Obama's body language "was more disgust than displeasure it was more profound he made the choice to say I'm displeased, I'm disgusted, I don't want to have a relationship with you."
"Obama feels strongly enough to show his feelings to the entire world," Wood said, and everyone is paying attention.
"The whole world is noticing this," Wood commented.
Obama appeared pained to even be in the same room as Putin for a photo opportunity. Wood noticed that he didn't' walk all the way into the room where members of the press were eagerly snapping photos.
"Usually a handshake approach in those kinds of setting everything is slowed down for the camera Obama did a couple of things to make it short and brief."
Making the moment as short as possible, Wood said, Obama "showed his dislike and disrespect."
Keeping the photo opportunity brief was just one of the actions Obama took to show his disrespect for Putin, Wood noticed. Describing the handshake itself, Wood noticed Obama "swung out his fingers like he wanted to smack Putin up the side of his face."
Wood described the way Obama "flung out his fingers" as a "weapon gesture" which she said is not often seen in a stylized handshake.
Wood saw no indication that Putin was phased by Obama's cold demeanor. She noted that during the handshake "Putin went on top, to show his power and control and his dominance, that's just the way he is, that isn't purely situational."
Analyzing the smirk Putin was caught making while toasting with Obama during lunch, Wood explained that a smirk is an indication that a person is feeling one thing, but having to act in a different way. Putin's smirk, Wood analyzed was him thinking "I'm so much better than this, I'm so much smarter than them this is just ridiculous that I have to be here."
The notion of having to be present against their will may have been the only mutual feeling Obama and Putin shared Monday. Asked to sum up the interactions between the two world leaders Wood described them as "forced."

Video of their photo opportunity is in the first few seconds of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=folI2lPsrgk

Nonverbally in the presidents’ performances yesterday, Obama was self-confident and appealed to his audience with engaging directness. Putin gazed downwards at his notes as he spoke, kept his hands folded or resting on the podium. He was not showing us he felt what he was saying. On the other hand, seemed inauthentic, insincere and because of the way he used the reading to keep his head down shamed or in hiding. Obama made a much more confident speech using direct eye contact with listeners and using his usual melodious speech patterns and expensive palm-up gestures. He was passionate. Obama’s body language and voice was more personal and open. Putin was more secretive. He did not have the gravitas of his actual spoken words. The script was powerful, but he didn’t deliver it with confidence and power. Shoulder shrugs and trapezius muscle contracts when we are afraid or uncertain or feel a need to protect the head.

Watch the video from the meeting with the Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov and Russian Foreign Minister, He kept his head away from Kerry. I would assume he had the normal double Teleprompters, but he only looked to his right in a way that was away from Kerry as he read. There was not energy in his voice. Lavrov’s shoulders were down, slouch is norm, but he is not blustering or proud. He is reading, “Secretary of State John Kerry first, after Russia started bombing Syria”… big shoulder shrugging off the tension of the moment. It’s very odd, because it’s very big and quick. That’s fear when he does it a second time with a self-comfort body swing like a boxer about to go into a big fight. See how Kerry’s face has that downward, tight cover smile. Kerry does a tongue thrust of slight aggression.

Interesting that they used each other’s first names.

Kerry also does this odd scratching with his notes under his arm anxiety cues.

When Kerry spoke he checked in with Sergei looking back over his shoulder at him. That was in stark contrast to Sergeis’ delivery.

Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog

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Body Language Read of Sofia and Joe's Balancing Act

How To Change Your Life

Quick, Easy and Clever Halloween Costumes

Quick, Easy and Clever Halloween Costumes

Job Interview Mistakes and Tips to Avoid Them

Body Language Read of Obama, Putin, Castro, Nazarbayev, Sergei Lavrov and Kerry

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