Contempt and Sneer Body Language, Keisha Knight Pulliam's Body Language- What is she Really Saying part two (contempt)

We see another example of body-mind disagreement when Keisha is asked about the paternity of her child and she says "that is not an issue". She flashes this asymmetrical smile that registers as contempt.

Contempt is a very complex emotion. It registers on one side of the face with an asymmetrical smile that show inconsistency between how we feel and what we say. Contempt can mean many different things. It can mean "I'm getting one over on you" or "I have just lied to you and I'm getting away with it". It can also mean someone has taken the moral high ground or they think that they are better/smarter/cooler than someone. John Gottman has done a lot of research to show that the number one sign of a failing relationship is contempt. Relative to Keisha's situation,she could be showing contempt towards her husband because of the situation but when you combine this with the rest of her body language cues, it registers as cause for concern.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Nodding Yes and Saying No, How Can You Tell When Someone is Lying, Keisha Knight Pulliam's Body Language- What is she Really Saying

How Can You Tell if Someone is Lying,

A body language tell of deceit is shown when someone is saying,"No" of denying an action or behavior with their words, but nodding yes with the head subconsciously in an indication of their true feelings. This happens because the limbic brain responds and the neocortex that thinking of and saying the lie can't catch it. My intern Sydney shows you this 
My name is Sydney Darden. I am an intern to Ms. Patti Wood this fall. 
I am receiving training in body language and deception detection. 

After 6 months of marriage Keisha Knight Pulliam's husband filed for divorce without warning her. The announcement came just 2 days after announcing she was pregnant with their daughter. Keisha's husband asked for a paternity test for the baby in the divorce. Recently, Keisha sat down to do an interview with entertainment tonight and denied the allegations. However, there where reveling body segments of the interview where her body language revealed her true emotions. 

In the first part of the interview she is asked very clearly if she cheated in her husband and it was not 
surprising to the  audience, she offers a definite “I have never cheated in my husband." Notice however  as she says this you can see her nodding her head ‘yes." even though she says with her words no. 

We saw the same thing happen in President Clinton's infamous interview where he said "I did not have sexual relations with that woman Ms. Lewinsky".

and again with Lance Armstrong:

We often convey our true feelings non-verbally regardless of what we do to hide it.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Keisha Knight pulliam's Body Language- What is she Really Saying

Hello. My name is Sydney Darden. I am an intern to Ms. Patti Wood this fall and I am currently training in body language communication and lie deception.

After 6 months of marriage Keisha Knight Pulliam's husband filed for divorce without warning her. The announcement came just 2 days after announcing she was pregnant with their daughter. Keisha's husband asked for a paternity test for the baby in the divorce. Recently, Keisha sat down to do an interview with entertainment tonight and denied the allegations but there are some interesting points in the interview where her body language contradicts what she is saying.

In the first part of the interview she is asked very clearly if she cheated in her husband and no surprise to the audience, she offers a definite “I have never cheated in my husband”. However, as she says this you can see her nodding her head ‘yes’ as she denies any infidelity.

We saw the same thing happen in President Clinton's infamous interview where he said "I did not have sexual relations with that woman Ms. Lewinsky".

and again with Lance Armstrong:

Research shows that we will always convey our true feelings regardless of what we do to hide it.When what we feel does not align with what we are saying, our body finds ways to let those true emotions out and it is completely involuntary.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Comfort Cues

What does it mean when a man adjusts the cuffs of his sleeve? I see this comfort cue behavior of adjusting a sleeve or touching a cuff given by men coming to to the front of the room to give a speech, getting ready to approach a women to flirt with her and other situations when they are preparing to do a difficult task.

A helpful way to read body language is through the comfort/discomfort lens.  When you are comfortable you tend to be open, and relaxed and you don’t fidget or touch your hands to your face or body. The self-touch in stressful situations is called a comfort cue.

When you are uncomfortable you may seek comfortable with self-touch. The touch stimulates the nerve endings in the skin and produces chemicals that sooth you. So when you read someone’s body language and they switch from comfortable open and relaxed to uncomfortable, closed tense and giving comfort cues that is interesting. You can ask yourself: what were we talking about when that happened?  What was I saying that suddenly uncomfortable for this person? What changed in the moment that they became uncomfortable?

·   Mouth Guard—Covering our mouths is quite symbolic. We cover our mouths when we do not want someone to know we’re upset, lying or if we’re suppressing a negative thought. We put our hands over our mouths so the truth won’t come out. Always look for additional submissive gestures given with the mouth guard that may signal nervousness, shyness or a lack of self-esteem.

·   Nose, Eye and Ear Rubbing—These signify discomfort, disbelief or disagreement: “Boy, that doesn’t smell right to me, that doesn’t look right to me, that doesn’t sound right to me.”

·   Fingers or Objects in the Mouth—This cue links back to childhood, when we sucked a bottle, pacifier, thumb etc. Self-touch gestures, like hands or objects in the mouth, communicate a desire to find sustenance and comfort.

·   Rubbing Motions—These motions are more complicated. Rubbing may be a means of self-assurance. For example, we may gently rub a gold chain around our neck just before an interview, symbolically making it shine.

·   Holding Motions—When we were little and we were anxious or scared, our moms or dads held on to us, and the holding motion assured us that everything would be okay. When we went to bed as children, we may have held onto a teddy bear or a blankie to reassure us that everything was all right. As adults, when we are anxious or afraid we repeat these motions to reassure ourselves that everything is going to be all right. We may hold our hands together, grip our arms in a self-hug, or hold a pen or marker as we speak.

·   Preening Motions—We use these motions to prepare ourselves for an interaction. You might touch your hair, rub out the wrinkles on your pants, adjust belt or watch, tuck in your shirt, and women may touch their collars and or jewelry. These self-touch motions offer comfort to us and may subconsciously remind us of when our mothers used to do these things for us before an important event, such as the first day of school.  

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Why you think you're right — even if you're wrong

I yearn for the "...vast and endless sea." I yearn for the truth.

Why you think you're right — even if you're wrong

Perspective is everything, especially when it comes to examining your beliefs. Are you a soldier, prone to defending your viewpoint at all costs — or a scout, spurred by curiosity? Julia Galef examines the motivations behind these two mindsets and how they shape the way we interpret information, interweaved with a compelling history lesson from 19th-century France. When your steadfast opinions are tested, Galef asks: "What do you most yearn for? Do you yearn to defend your own beliefs or do you yearn to see the world as clearly as you possibly can?"

http://www.ted.com/talks/julia_galef_why_you_think_you_re_right_even_if_you_re_wrong?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=tedspread

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Creativity and Messiness

I am a creative genius!



https://mic.com/articles/103954/the-science-of-why-the-most-creative-people-have-the-messiest-desks#.AvF1puLoL



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Room Set Up. Why You Should Not Have a Big Center Aisle

I was part of an awesome event recently. Before I do a presentation, we send graphics of my ideal room set up with our contract but this client just knew! He had a great room
Set up!  "Why is the aisle in the middle of the room so wide?” Yikes! How did I miss that? It is one of my own pet peeves, The Moses Effect. The same way that Moses parted the Red Sea, I allowed the room setup to have a huge center aisle.
So here is why you try not to have a wide center isle or make it very small! 


https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/whats-wrong-picture-darren-lacroix



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Shift Away From Formal Lectures in the Classroom.

This is a long but interesting article. I have created and used an experienced based learning model for all my programs for my entire career. It just makes sense to have an interactive learning experience. This is not a new concept. All teachers, assistant professors and professors should have ongoing training, presentation skills, interactive learning,and accelerated learning techniques.They need more than just a single day of training before school starts. I think our attention spans are shorter so being a dynamic facilitator is even more critical. 

http://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2016/07/eliminating-the-lecture/491135/?utm_source=atlfb


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

I knew my, "silence baths", (a day that  I don't watch tv, listen to any music or podcasts and don't talk on the phone and try not to talk at all.) were rejuvenating. Now it seems silence may help our memory.

http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2016/07/scientists-are-discovering-the-neural-benefits-of-silence.html



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

What Do I Think of Hilary Clinton's Body Language

Do you think Hillary Clinton has a personality that attracts voters?

Hilary has a different personality style than many candidates. Hillary has always been highly competitive and laser-focused on her goals.

She has a commanding D Driver-style personality paired with the strategic, methodical approach of a C Corrector style personality. This combination of traits makes her very ambitious and very knowledgeable about the inner workings and details of the system. She is not warm and fuzzy. If someone who had suffered a great loss was talking to her, she wouldn’t say, “I am so sorry for your loss you must feel so bad.” She would be direct and solution oriented and ask the person for the details of what happened and offer a specific solution. She is a thinker not a feeler.  It would be great if she could be a bit more sensitive to people’s emotions, but she is a DC personality and they can sometimes be seen as overly task-oriented.

What are the elements that could show Hillary as a more humane candidate and closer to the people?  If I was her nonverbal communication coach. (and yes I am a personal coach as well as a professional speaker on body language.) I would create video and photos of her hugging people and being warm and genuine and playing with children, and people who have undergone hardship and even video of her being warm and relaxed around her close friends and family.

Does Hillary have charisma?

Let’s break down what Charisma is and talk about her specific nonverbal behaviors. Charisma is comprised of likability, Attractiveness and Power.

Likability is created non verbally through smiles and eye contact, animated and expressive facial expressions, gestures and rapport building skills such a matching and mirroring and staying connected and leaning forward when someone is talking. In the past, Hilary did not have a relaxed warm smile. Her smile was often often small and looks tense. (That’s a common characteristic of a high C on the DISC) She is super smart and results oriented so if she is listening to you and she gets your point, she is on to solution and she stops listening!!!! I have seen her do this in countless TV interviews. She has worked on her smile a great deal but, was blasted for smiling too much or having a odd smile in the first presidential debates, but over all the change in her smile made her look unruffled and warmer. Yet the media criticizers her if she doesn't smile enough an when they feel she smiles too much or in oddly. Her husband Bill Clinton who is high on Charisma and and does smile as much as he wants and we love it. He is high in Charisma and his smile is large warm and sincere.  He has  charismatic laser focused eye contact that makes a listener feel like he is the center of Bills universe and the most special person in the world. Talk to anyone who has met him and they will talk about his eye contact and how he lingers to listen to the them and connect evening extending length of handshake to linger and connect.

Attractiveness is the second charismatic factor and this is so hard to say, but Hilary looks professional but she does not fit the typical attractiveness standard. She looked great in the first presidential debate That irritates me as a woman, and really as a human being, But it is important in a presidential candidate.  Years ago, when Sarah Palin was selected as a Vice Presidential candidate I was doing media interviews about Sarah's body language and my hosts always mentioned her attractive appearance..

Power is the last component of Charisma. This is a tricky characteristic for a women. Hilary is very powerful. She has many power cues. But, there is a difficulty again with a women looking too powerful. Hilary walks the B line. The line between warm and feminine and being a B---h. She also has a strident voice. But she has worked on it considerably.  The biggest issue is that her nonverbal cues are not as powerful as Trumps and they cannot be!!! We would despise a female candidate who screamed and yelled, interrupted and stabbed the air and grimaced the way Trump does. The bigger problem is that the public tends to vote for the most ALPHA powerful candidate for president. Regardless of their party.

So, to answer your question, though in person she is highly charismatic, in interviews and televised speeches she does not have the likability specifically the warmth that voters like. It may not matter and it may make all the difference. 

Do  you believe that that charisma is necessary to win an election in the United States? 

Historically, yes. The public tends to vote for the most charismatic candidate. 

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Bernie’s body language. What does he really think about Hilary? Convention Endorsement.

Media sources are asking me what Bernie really thinks of Hillary.

I analyzed this clip that shows two of Bernie’s speeches. First, there is Bernie saying negative things about Clinton before the Democratic convention then in the same clip of his endorsement of her at the convention.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVrti6Jt0BI

The first part of the clip shows Bernie Saunders’ body language as he talked about Hilary Clinton before the Democratic Convention and again during his speech at the convention when he endorsed her.

Bernie sanders endorsing Hillary and getting booed is in the second part of the same clip.

In the first part of this endorsement speech when Bernie is talking about Hilary’s lack of qualifications, he brings his arms and hands up to either side of his head, in what I call a “high head” gesture that shows he has confidence in what he is saying.

He gestures, giving air quotes just before the word “qualified” and says, “I don’t think you are qualified….” This is called before-say order. Bernie gesturing before words shows his authentic belief that she is not qualified to be president of the United Sates. In authentic Body Language, we gesture then says the words. Gestures come from the emotional limbic brain, so when we really feel something we feel it and show before we say it with words.

When he goes to say, “We have got to elect Hilary Clinton...” his gesture should have started and peaked at the word “got” but his arm came up slowly and hit downward as he pointed when he said the word “elect”. Instead, he motioned late and his gesture showed his lack of enthusiasm, and that electing Hillary is a downward move.

As he is quieting the crowd, he brings his arm and hand up high to pat down the crowds booing. These high above the head gestures show he knows he has power over the crowd. He also brings his hands up high on the right then on the left, in what is almost a slow motion flailing, drowning motion as if he is saying, “I know I have power and I am giving it up.” He then sways his hand up high with the crowd showing his connection to his brothers and sisters.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.