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Five Mistake People Make When It Comes to Dating and Their Love Lives?


Five Mistake People Make When It Comes to Their Love Lives?
I did this piece for the media quite awhile ago and thought I would post it here. 

1.       Falling in LUST and first sight Lust at first sight is obvious. You are so physically attracted that it blinds you to what the person’s True personality or even an accurate read of the two critical first impression factors credibly likeability. Hormones are powerful.
2.       DANGER at first sight.  DANGER at first site is very interesting as it is a misread of our physiological responses to danger. When we see someone dangerous the limbic responds in a Freeze, Flight, Fight, Fall or Faint Response. We might misread the heart racing, breathless physical state and think this is so intense this must be love, when it may really be the central nervous system's response to someone very scary. So don’t date that guy or gal run for the hills.
3.       Love ideal projection- Falling for the” idea” of a person rather than the real person. You need to see what is there rather than what is being faked. There are so many cues given off in the first fifteen minutes of a conversation that are tells to the real person. From overly aggressive forward motions and ignoring your cues to closed heart and palm of hand windows and more.
4.       Frozen with fear –Fear can keep you from getting out and meeting people or going online to meet people. You may be afraid to get out there and date, because you afraid. Perhaps, you are concerned about making bad choices, being rejected, or getting terribly hurt. If you are already are dating or in a relationship, you may be frozen with fear when you are afraid or in pain. That frozen behavior can prevent you from saying out loud what you are feeling and prevent you from thinking about or sharing what you need, want and would like. If you stay frozen and don’t talk to your partner they may not know anything is wrong. In fact, they may just pick up on the fact that you seem tense or uncomfortable around them. So your partner may repeat the very behavior that you don’t like and make you more upset! Saying out loud what you don’t like and what you DO like, what make you uncomfortable and what makes you happy can be healthy. Make sure that your requests are healthy reasonable requests and are worded in a positive manner. (Example, I get worried that something is wrong when you run over 20 minutes late, could you please give a quick call if you are stuff in traffic so I know you are ok? “I love it when you text me funny things in the middle of the day.”  If your freeze in place and don’t communicate the relationship can freeze and die.  There are so many people frozen in bad relationships.

5.       Faking it – Pretending you love someone. Pretending you are happy. Pretending you are someone you are not. First of all that pretending is a heck of a lot of work and a lots of heartache for all involved. 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

How Does Trump's Touch Effect Melania? Trump and Melania's Relationship Body Language

Here is an interesting piece I am working on for the media.
I have been watching it over and over frame by frame.
Note though she is slightly nervous with her arms close to the side and shoulders down how she she responds with a wonderful full uplifted smile as the crowd applauds her, and her head lifts and she continues smiling warmly and flips her head back to let her hair bounce in a really nice preening motion, knowing she looks good to the crowd.. She is enjoying herself in that moment. Then she sees Trump ( Who doesn't engage with her visually) walk towards her and you have several frames, most dramatically at 7 seconds where her mouth turns down, her facial muscles collapse down and her eyes go small and you see a combination of sad and mad. Then as he touches she her she jerks away very quickly and looks down and huffs out air. A very interesting response to being touched by your husband.
His timing, at her high moment and his tight smile and lack of eye contact, and her response make it appear he was not happy and the touch was an admonishment, rather than a comforting touch.
The clip can be seen in the following tweet:


https://twitter.com/FoxNews/status/833085968617926657?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Prime Minister Handshake with Trump

In the handshake with the Prime Minister you see Trump once again offering his hand palm up and the Prime Minister looking down at Trump’s  Palm up offering and keeping his handshake arm down and folded in and keeping his fingers interlaced in protective fence with the tops of his finger pointing out like small cannons ready to fire while his closed downward turned mouth showing he is not buying it!!! 


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Republican President Trump's Handshake with the Japanese Prime Minister was Bizarrely Rude


Hi all, The world is shaking and not just from "45's" handshake to the Prime Minister.
Thank you Patti for your comments. The story is being very well received by our 47 language services and our online audience, as well.

...See More


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Handshake of "45" Republican President Trump with Japanese Prime Minister

Just read the handshake of  Donald Trump with Japanese Prime Minister for Voice of America.  I will post it when it comes out. Body Language Read of Trump's handshake with Prime Minister.

Thank you Patti for your comments. The story is being very well received by our 47 language services and our online audience, as well. 



Steve Herman 
Senior Diplomatic Correspondent
Voice of America


http://www.tmz.com/2017/02/10/donald-trump-handshake-japanese-prime-minister/

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Recommended Murder Mystery Novel Series Best Murder Mystery Series

Recommended Murder Mystery Novel Series
Best Murder Mystery Series
List by Patti Wood

Agatha Christies – The best of the best murder mystery novelist and if you have not read her you must start now. She has several “Crime Solvers “in her various mysteries including Hercule Poriot. She wrote over 33 novels with this single character and 82 works all together. I read my first of her novels “Halloween” in sixth grade and since then I have read all over her novels short stories and plays many times. Why Didn’t They Ask Evans and They Mysterious Affair at Styles are among her best. By the way she is the most read author in the world. Another, fun fact, is her second husband (in real life) was an archaeologist and she went with him on his expeditions and wrote many of her later novels from her tent in a dessert!

Ann Perry - Victorian mysteries featuring Inspector Monk- Monk is a London policemen who has lost his memory and is trying to hide that fact. I love his love interest the very intelligent and strong character in her own right, Hester who is a nurse who served with Florence Nightingale and his best friend, the lawyer Charles. The books wrestle with moral issues and enlighten you on the realities of poverty, prostitution, inequality, justice, war, health care for the poor, the class system, parliament and more. She has a few other mystery series as well. The best of the Monk series is The Twisted Root. The Twisted Root, “The young man stood in the doorway, his face pale, his fingers clenched on his hat, twisting it around and around."  Her work is amazingly thought provoking and informative so don’t be surprised if you read all of her over 55 books. Here is line from Paragon Walk,   "Inspector Pitt stared down at the girl’s body, and an overwhelming sense of loss soaked through him. He had never known her in life, but he knew and treasured all the things that now she had lost."

Robert Parker’s Spenser series- a private detective in modern day Boston with a girlfriend he loves and honors, and a best friend who is bad ass. The prose is sparse, sharp and often funny. I love the scenes where he cooks dinner for his love and they cuddle with each other and the dog.  I have read all the Spenser books well over 30 and most of his other books.

Donna Leon - The books are set in modern day Venice. The “Commissario” Guide Brunetti has to work around the corrupt and quite broken police and justice system to solve murders. He goes home for lunch and his professor wife fixes dinner for the family and loves to curl up with a book. Prepare yourself, as you will want to cook or find good Italian food after reading any of the descriptions of his meals. I have read over 20 books in this series.

Andrea Camilleri - In this often funny, always delicious series set in Sicily, Inspector Montalbano. He struggles with sleep, his romantic relationships and getting his team to do their work, but, goodness, he eats very well.
Charles Todd -This is actually a s mother-and-son writing team lives in the eastern United States, in North Carolina and Delaware respectively. The best series is set in post-World England and  deal with the cases of Inspector Ian Rutledge, a veteran of the European campaigns who is attempting to pick up the pieces of his Scotland Yard career. However, he must keep his greatest burden a secret: suffering from shell shock, he lives with the constant, cynical, taunting voice of the ghost of Hamish MacLeod, a young Scots soldier he was forced to execute on the battlefield for refusing an order. (Yes, a ghost talks to him throughout the series. They are also the authors of a series about Bess Crawford, a nurse serving in France during World War I. I have read over 30 of this teams novels. The best is the Red Door, but it will only make sense if you have read the other novels.
Ann George - All her books are light and amusing. The main characters are two over sixty sisters from Birmingham who keep running into murders. I met the lovely author at a writer’s conference in Birmingham. Strange that a murder Mystery can make you laugh, but this book does. Series Murder Carries a Torch.  New York: Harper Collins Publishers, 2000.
Diane Mott Davis -The main character in Mott Davidson's novels is Goldy Schulz, a small town caterer who also solves murder mysteries in her spare time. At the start of the series, Goldy is a recently divorced mother with a young son trying to make a living as a caterer in the fictional town of Aspen Meadow, CO. I really like that Goldy has a son, she truly take care of and eventually a happy healthy marriage. A happy family life is unusual for a crime solver in the murder mystery genre. As the series progresses, new characters are introduced that change Goldy's professional and personal life. I have read all 17 of Goldy books. I love that she has tons of coffee and chocolate to get through her "murderous" days.
Alexander McCall Smith - The Number One Ladies Detective Agency features Mama Precious Ramotswe and set in Botswana. Her main character also has a happy family life. I especially love that Precious adopts her children and she loves and respects her husband. The first novel was published in 1998. They are described as a “staggering success” and have sold more than 20 million copies in English editions alone and been translated into 40 languages.” I have read 17 books in this series.
Janice Frost - Loved all of her books. They are like candy bars. The one you will read and then want to talk to someone about it immediately is “Her Husband’s Secret.” Oh my gosh! just order it right now if you like light murder mysteries.
Mary Kay Andrews - is the pen name of American writer Kathy Hogan Trocheck, based in Atlanta, She writes light breezy murder mysteries.
Stuart Woods - His Stone Barrington books are addictive. Stone is a misogynist. He dates strong seemly intelligent women, and beds them with the speed and ease of ordering a cocktail. Stone and his best friend, New York’s Chief of Police eat out at the same restaurant for years but go through women like paper towels.  I am embarrassed to admit I have read all 42 of Wood’s novels, I believe with a desire to understand bad boy men. 
Jasper Fforde - "The Eyre Affair". It is a detective science fantasy novel. Hard to describe as it is more like science fiction that a mystery, but very fun to read.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Top Dark Murder Mystery Novels, List of Recommended Mysteries


Top Murder Mystery Novels

List of Recommended Series and Dark Mysteries

by Patti Wood

 

Kate Atkinson -If you have not read her work, start with behind the Scenes at the Museum and go from there. Her novels are lovely, complex reads. The detective novels are the Jackson Brodie novels. In When Will there be Good News -Atkinson writes about truly horrific matters, often involving violence against women. She brings such remarkable tonal range to her material—four revolving narrators alternate between wit and somber reflection.  Human Croquet (1997).  There is one passage where a character who was adopted as a baby by an older couple is discussed; that says they were an old couple who only knew about gin and canasta, so they taught him both. Oh my gosh, I love it. She describes the character's little quirks of body language so very well. Other writers have adapted the four Jackson Brodie novels for the BBC under the series titled Case Histories, featuring Jason Isaacs as Brodie. I have read everything she has ever written. I love her work.

Defiantly one of the best murder mystery series in modern fiction.

 

Elizabeth George – Her Inspector Linley Mysteries are so well written. Linley's partner Barbra Havers is one of the most interesting, vulnerable, and authentic mystery characters I have ever had the pleasure of getting to know in fiction. If you read all her novels, you will get the painful delight of seeing how she handles a moral dilemma in a case involving her neighbor and the neighbor's daughter. I loved traveling the arch of her character. She is one of those fictional characters that feel like a family member, a troubled family member, but a family.

 

Henning Mankell - I loved all his dark, disturbing, and prose-filled novels. Wallender has an interesting relationship with his father and his daughter that is fascinating to follow throughout the series. The best of the books is told from his daughter's perspective. There are 13 books in the Wallander series, and he also has other excellent novels. Unfortunately, the BBC version of the stories was dark as well.

 

Tana French - The best of her novels is "The Secret Place" A year after the brutal murder of a young man at a posh school for girls, the case remains unsolved. Then 16-year-old Holly Mackey approaches Detective Stephen Moran with a tantalizing clue. French brilliantly and plausibly channels the craziness of youth and shared bonds of friends. Her other books are ok, but this one was special.

 

Peter Hoeg- I have only read this Danish author's work, "Smilla's Sense of Snow" The main character is an expert on ice/snow, and she helps solve a murder case with her expertise in a way that speaks to the quirkiness of my body language expertise. Smilla is 37, unmarried, and, like Isaiah, part of Denmark's small Eskimo/Greenlander community. She is also a minor Danish authority on the properties and classification of ice. Smilla is never less than believable in her contradictions--caustic, caring, thoughtful, impulsive, determined, and above all, rebellious. The best translation of a book I have ever read, the translator Nunnally won an award for best translation.

 

Dennis McFarland - A Face at the Window, Wow!  What a book. It's a deep, disturbing ghost story, a page-turner, and a sophisticated bit of literature. I loved how it got me inside the head of an intelligent and troubled man. In that respect, it reminded me of another good read from years ago, Presumed Innocent. FYI another book that was better than the movie. A quote for A Face at the Window.

 "One Monday morning about a year and a half ago, in late autumn, I woke with a vague awareness of a long dullish instrument of some kind, maybe the butt-end of a medieval halberd, being alternately inserted and withdrawn at the small of my back." The best modern ghost story I have ever read. Read this and then read Frankenstein, the best horror book of all time, written by a 17-year-old girl.

 

Steig Larson –"The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." I read the other Larson novels and found them too disturbing, and for a gal that's read well over 1,000 murder mysteries, that says a lot. 

 

Paula Hawkins – I loved The Girl on the Train. But not because it was an exceptionally well-written novel. I found the journey of the Girl and the story so addictive sad, and disturbing. It's one of those books like "Her Husband's Secret." I wanted my friends and family to read it so I could talk to them about what this character did and what they thought about the effect of her choices.

 

Michael Chabon- I love his work. He is such an incredible writer. "The Yiddish Policemen Union" draws on the obscure historical fact that FDR proposed Alaska become the postwar Jewish homeland. Chabon constructs a nightmarish world in frigid Sitka, where black humor is a kind of life-supporting antifreeze and where a browbeaten detective, Meyer Landsman, must stave off Armageddon. The novel combines satire, homage, metaphor, and genuine suspense in delectable prose seasoned with all manner of Yiddish wordplay.

 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights, go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Also, check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Do You Know a Stand-Up Guy or Stand-Up Gal? Are You a Stand-Up Person for Someone?

Do You Know a Stand-Up Guy or Stand-Up Gal?
 Are You a Stand-Up Person for Someone?

My dad was a Stand-Up Guy, and I didn’t know it. The other night I was talking to my mom about love and she shared a story about my dad.  Many of you know my parents met and married seven days later. (Read that romantic story here)

Sitting in the convertible on the beach under a full Miami moon, my dad proposed and my mother turned him down. She gestured to her hearing aids, two large transistors in the pockets of her dress and the chords going to her ears and said, “I can’t hear well and you deserve to marry someone without a hearing problem.” My dad responded, “That will never be a problem.” “We will take care of it.” And he did. My mom said, in the many years that they were married and she still had the hearing problem, he never once said, “You are not listening.” Or “You need to pay attention.” In all those years he never in any way mentioned it or demeaned her or made her feel less than.” Not once.  She said, “He saw me as a whole person, so I could see myself that way.” Now by this time I am crying on the other end of the phone, because I didn’t know this about my dad and my heart is just filling up. I fell in love with my dad again. I thought about how much love they had. It would have been so easy for anyone to such a disability as weakness against their partner.

My mom goes on to share that my dad spent years researching her hearing problem and after I was born finally found a doctor at the Mayo Clinic and my mother had surgery, in fact eventually six surgeries which my father researched, interviewed doctors about and arranged every other detail to make happen. My dad was a Stand-Up Guy. Suddenly, so many things about the deep affection my parents had for each other, how they always held hands, how she looked at him with love, even though he was a tough man to love at times made sense. For me this story was a revelation and it made me think about all the Stand-Up Guys and Stand-Up Women I know. The people that do the right thing, the moral and good thing, who give of themselves even for just a moment can heal, change and inspire you. How they can help you stand up in life. My father died when I was in college and my parents didn’t share this story with my sisters and I and I am so glad my mom shared it. 

I have been asking friends and audience members to share stories of their stand up friends, family colleagues and more. I have heard some beautiful, heart tugging stories. Stories about doctors that serve patients in extraordinary ways, stories about special moms and dads, of support through divorce, job loss, illness and depression. I have heard stories about open hearted mentorship, and even a story about a guy who talked on the phone to the wee hours so that a friend who was struggling could fall asleep comforted with the phone against her ear. What a great gift it is to know a Stand-Up Person.

I would love to hear more stories of Stand-Up People, so please send them on. Write it down, just a few words, or share it in voice to text or record it and then please share it. I want to hear about these people in your life and what they have meant to you. In my body language programs on deception detection and my programs on leadership I share a method you can use to recognize if someone is credible, if they are a person of integrity.  You can read the short version of the method here: http://www.pattiwood.net/article.asp?PageID=10452 

Good people make you feel good, and giving of yourself, being selfless, even for moment, can give back to you and enlarge your heart. Ask someone today if they have known or know a Stand-Up person and perhaps, pull your shoulders back a little and bring your head high, open your heart and know the strength and love inside you that always gives you the opportunity to Stand Up! 


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

First Meeting of Obama and Trump, What the Body Language Reveals

How Obama out-manspreaded Trump: Body language expert reveals the truth behind that very awkward-looking first meeting between the pair at the White House

·         Obama and Trump put on a united front when they met at the White House
·         Body language expert Patti Wood analyzed the meeting for DailyMail.com
·         She described Obama as 'extremely fatigued, resigned and not hopeful
·         Trump was 'tentative, serious and perhaps fearful', Wood revealed
·         Hand position suggests 'he learned something he didn't know before

Click the link below for the full body language read:

 


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     



http://www.newsweek.com/whats-donald-trump-hiding-his-body-language-says-it-all-541941




Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Trump's Body Language in the Muir Interview Voter Fraud, and Nuclear Codes

Here are my rough notes on Trump's body language, for a media interview. Forgive any spelling or grammatical errors.

Trump sits with his legs far apart in classic alpha male seating position of power. Muir questioned Trump about his voter fraud numbers of 3 to five million and Muir said, “..That would be the largest voter fraud in history, “ Trump takes his downward prayer steeple and flings his fingers out in symbolic weapon to strike out at Muir then interlocks them to hold his own hand then goes back again into  downward prayer to gain internal control, as he battles the statement saying it was, “.. It was so misrepresented…that was supposed to be confidential meeting….I said it and I said it strongly.”

As he argues with Muir Trump says, “I am going to do an investigation…” as he holds up both hands palm open slightly downward in a stop and suppress motion to Muir. Trump flings out his finger in symbolic attack, he points his left finger to symbolically shoot Muir with his left hand while holding his right hand more cupped as a shield and he interrupts Muir several times.
When discussing the Pew report Muir says, “What you have said about Fraud has been debunked. Trump says, “No it hasn’t.” “Take a look at the Pew report” (as a source to support his claims of Fraud.

As he says, “Take a look at the Pew report. “ His voice becomes loud and certain and his head goes forward. Then in the next moment when Muir says he talked to Pew and Pew said his report does not support voter fraud Trump says, “According to the Pew report… “then he pauses realizing he was just told it does not support him and finishes the sentence “… then, He (Pure) is groveling again” and then he denigrates the report and Pure as a groveling reporter as he does this he holds his downward steeple to gain internal control again, then clasps his hands together to center himself and gain strength.. So in one sentence he quotes the report as support stops mid sentence and denigrates the writer of the report and the report.

 When Muir says in follow up to Trump talking about voter fraud and says he wants to ask about something bigger Trump put his both hands up in  stop push down motion and says, “There is nothing bigger,” “There is nothing bigger…” and then goes onto to say, “…millions of people agree with me.” Note here that his posture has gone down and forward and he again goes into the resting posture of holding his own hand.

When Trump is asked about his visit to the CIA and the crowd size and when he will let it roll off his back. Trump says that his speech was a, “Home run” and that he got a standing ovation for a long period of time and they never sat down for long period of time.” As he holds his arms close to his chest and flings out both hands to fling Muir’s question away. Then Trump says, “You and couples of other reporters tried to downplay that speech…” He flings his fingers toward Muir again, symbolically flinging Muir’s statements away then at time code ---he grimaces and as he has down before in the interview holds up both hands with the fore fingers in symbolic pistols and the  bottom fingers curled like hands on the triggers and holds then pointed at Muir’s head. (This is a very proactive image.)

Part of my whole victory is that the men and women who have been forgotten, will never be forgotten again, part of that is when they try to demean me unfairly “cause” we had a massive crowd of people, we had a crowd. “I looked out at that sea of people, and as he says that he does something very interesting he at time code ---- he holds his hands outward and down showing he feels he controlled and was omnipotent over the crowd.  Typically speakers hands go up to honor a massive audience. They cup up and our  to hold and embrace and even lift up the crowd. Speakers typically only hold their  hands  and bring them down to suppress the crowds noise. So for him to be describing the big crowds and go into a crowd suppress motion it interesting. He may be doing that to continue to suppress Muir’s line of questioning but he is doing as he continues he hands go out, “WOW!” and he first holds his hands out on the wow and then instead of going further out he pushes his hands in to hold in the wow in a motion that is confusing, unless he doesn’t fully believe the word wow he is saying.

Later in the interview when they are walking and he is asked hearing about the nuclear codes Trump moves his hands and arms that have been at his sides swinging very slightly in a very front  pelvis in a  natural protective motion as he walks. When he is asked if hearing about the codes and possible destruction keeps him up at night. He says, “NO…” and then his arms come up and he holds them out expansively and confidently and flings out his finger in power as he continues the thought, “…confident I will do the right thing… the right job.”













Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.