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Character Assassination, Smear Campaign, Narcissist, Psychopath, Sociopath, Victim, Target of Smear.

Character Assassination Smear Campaign



I speak on body language, deception detection and dealing with difficult people, including how to deal with narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths..

The sociopath version is the dishonest version. Sociopath are known for accusing others for things they are doing themselves. For example, if a sociopath is on a smear campaign, they will accuse the REAL victim of trying to accuse their target of stalking them. RED FLAG- the sociopath will do whatever necessary to humiliate their “Target” aka the person they are stalking.
When you see someone ranting…(Name) being a cyber troll, or stalker going on to tell others… The sociopathy is likely to accuse the person of being, ‘mentally unstable” …..Jealous.. insecure. They want to vilify the real victim before their victim talks, so they use these kind of humiliating tactic to discredit, and destroy the real victim.  Notice a person calling
*** Notice a person calling someone a cyber troll, bully, or stalker  - Is the character assassin. The RED FLAG  that the person accusing another is when they chose to use the Other persons First and Last Name. It IS DEFAMATION, CHARACTER ASSASSINATION, AND SLANDER.
The classic symptom of someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, Sociopathic, Narcissistic, Histrionic, Anti-Social Personality Disorder is how they are“Always the Victim”

From http://characterassassinator-ruinyou.blogspot.com/2014/01/sociopath-let-them-destroy-themselves.html

Sociopaths choose a partner who is empathic and kind (an easy target to manipulate). They lie to their families and their partner, and cheat with multiple partners, and when confronted they deny and blame. Making the person feel as is they are going crazy. The sociopath projects all their mental issues, and shames onto their partner, or their target, or a family member – especially when confronted with something that they have done or are doing wrong.
You may be one of the unfortunate ones who were unfortunate to cross roads with a psychopath. If you’re fortunate, you were only temporarily targeted by the psychopath, and were used (possibly abused or picked-clean) then discarded like yesterday’s trash. Psychopaths excel at blending-in with society and they permeate all walks of life. You may encounter them at work, in religious organizations or you may find yourself in an in ntimate relationship with one.Some people are lifetime targets of Psychopathic Character Assassination (Psyca) a full-on unbridled attempt by the “Path” (used interchangeably to represent either a psychopath or sociopath) to totally destroy any credibility that the unsuspecting victim may have had.
What makes this victim so special over the other victims, that they are targeted to be the recipients of a possibly life-long dedication to end all normal social interaction or positive human connection with other inhabitants of our planet?
Simply stated, in most cases, victims of Psyca normally self-select by knowing too much about the Path.
Paths routinely maintain at least two separate personas. One, a positive, gregarious, revered personality that is embraced by unsuspecting society, the other is their dark Path self: their evil twin. They may have many other personalities that they dial-in at any particular moment to manipulate their current audience (not to be confused with multi-personality disorder because they change personas at will with the intent to defraud).
It is imperative that the Path keep their dark sides hidden from the general populace. Think about it; if anyone knew who they really were, their lives would crumble. To the Path, protecting the secrecy of their true innate evil is as important to them as anything that provides life or sense of purpose to any other normal human being.
Paths usually launch their Psyca-attacks following a very calculated formula. Even though there is no known, “playbook,” that has been published for the Paths to follow, they all intuitively use the same system to ruin the lives of those who they feel may be a threat to the sacred secrecy of his or her true self. Certainly, making a potential witness appear to be a crazy, mentally disturbed, narcissistic sociopath, psychopath or pathological liar is the logical solution.
LAYING THE GROUNDWORK
Years of research and experience has concluded that usually within the first moments of engaging with a victim who might have access to too much personal information on the Path, they begin to sow the seeds of doubt and lack of trustworthiness behind the victim’s back.
The Path draws in the friends, family co-workers and acquaintances of the victims with his or her personal charm in an effort to build a (false) trust relationship with the fringe audience. This is accomplished with little effort as the Path has innate skills that easily manipulate the perceptions of others endearing them to him or her as they wield their persuasiveness and charm.
The initial impact, though appearing quite harmless and innocuous is commonly cloaked in the appearance of sincere concern for the victim’s well-being and might sound something, like, “I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, but have you ever thought that (insert victim’s name) may not be what he (or she) appears to be?” No accusations, no data, reports or inclinations of anything concrete, just tilling the soil and fertilizing it with a little doubt.
All the while, they are increasing their own credibility with someone who may be a family member, friend, co-worker or acquaintance of the intended victim; unaware that they are being groomed as the Path’s minion who will be turned against the victim when the time is right.
SOWING FALSE “FACTS”
Grooming from this point forward will take a secretive slant and will likely be presupposed with something, like, “Don’t tell (insert name), but…” as they actually sow seeds of doubt.
As the relationship between the Path and his minion(s) grows deeper, more and more seeds will be sown in an effort to cast doubt, while the victim is none the wiser.
I’ve always thought it peculiar, that in most cases, these once close associates of the victim rarely, if ever, courteously approach them with the sensitive information with a sincere, “Hey, I was just wondering about (insert reports of lack of sanity, trustworthiness, a secret double-life, illicit drug-use, illegal activities, pathological symptoms, etc…)…” that would definitely be an early indicator that something was up.
In most, if not all, circumstances the victim continues to navigate their life’s journey unaware that the world they once enjoyed is being eroded or destroyed behind their back.
It is common for the Path to project their own psychological attributes onto you. For instance, if they are a closet illicit drug user, then this will be represented as being a problem for you. If he or she is manipulative or controlling, this would be presented as something that you struggle with unbeknownst to others. If they tend to make up elaborate stories, it will be the victim who secretly lives a fantasy-life where nothing is as it seems… on and on and on…
Why? Because no one knows these attributes better than the Path. They are the undeniable expert in these pathologies and they know how critical it is for someone who has them to keep them a secret in an effort to appear to be normal.
In no way am I suggesting that the Path might limit their Psyca-attacks to their own attributes. They are extremely acute at the skill of taking a known truth and spinning it into a ludicrous conclusion that will cast a dark shadow on anyone at any time.
ENTER THE “SPIN”
Paths have the ability to spin any factual data into an amazing story that will breed conspiracy or contempt for any individual at will.
For instance, let’s say that you had a hard day at work all day, due to struggling with an intense ongoing headache. Everyone at work could tell that you were not “on your game” as usual. If you intimated to the Path that you had a headache; that would give them the data that they needed to spin a tale.
The tale may take many shapes and forms, but will be consistent with some of the previous seeds that had been sown against you. For instance, if the Path’s intention was to have you appear to his or her minions that you were a closet illicit drug user, he or she might intimate, “Wow, did you notice that (insert your name) was out of it yesterday? It’s normal to go through withdrawals when you don’t get your fix before you get to work… It’s so sad…”
No matter what you say or do, you cannot prevent the Path from spinning it into a negative story about you that will erode your sense of normalcy.
THE BEGINNING OF THE END
When the Path has a clue that you are coming to the end of your usefulness in the accomplishment of their goals, he or she ramps up the defamation, usually making it appear that it is you who is beginning to attack them. At this point the Path will appeal to their minions’ sensibilities as they present themselves as the sacrifice, martyr or victim of your psychotic manipulations.
It will become apparent to you when your relationship with the Path is coming to an end, that there has been a definite polarity has taken place. People who were once your friends will drift away… and you will notice a gravitation toward the Path.
Having no internal filter, they will stop at nothing in an effort to humiliate you. They will spout vile accusations, even proclaim you’re mentally ill, if it will support their proclamation that you cannot be trusted or are inherently evil.
Trying to defend yourself is almost pointless. If the Path is quite proficient – as most of them are very accomplished – anything that you say in your defense will appear to be a part of your psychosis and will strengthen all of the groundwork that the Path has laid in preparation of this moment.
Even if the Path’s relationship with the minions begins to dissolve (as it almost always does when the Path moves on in search of new victims and minions), the seeds will always leave a mark in their minds… and as heartbreaking as it may be, in most cases, regardless of the ultimate outcome of the Path’s lifestyle, there may be no hope for recovering the life that you once knew.
Jobs and careers may be lost, friends will turn their backs on you, family members will distance themselves, the people that you once trusted with your most intimate thoughts and feelings will always wonder who you “really were” all the time they knew you.
THE RELENTLESS COMMITMENT TO YOUR DESTRUCTION
There is no way to anticipate how long the attacks will take place. In some cases, if the Path is the least bit concerned that you might at some point discredit them or tarnish their appearance or reputation… the attacks will continue. If the Path believes that at any point you could be a threat to their charade, the spinning will not cease. This perceived threat may continue until either of you cease to be.
Many Paths have come right out and made bold, public declarations that they, “will not rest until you are,” locked up, put away, homeless, or dead.
NEXT article http://psychopathvictims.com/tag/character-assassination
One of the dead giveaways of psychopathic behavior is that of the vicious, psychotic character assassination campaigns that are wielded against anyone who stand in their way or might pose a threat to their agenda(s).
Please keep in mind that if you have become the targeted victim of a psychopath’s smear campaign, that it is nothing personal. In fact, nothing can ever be seen as “personal” to a psychopath as they are devoid of any feelings (like a normal person might have); no love, no hate, no empathy, no remorse. They only see other people as tools or possessions and may even use phrases, like:
·         You’re mine
·         I own you
And when they are done with you, they have so little regard for you that they might say:
·         I will end you
·         You will be nothing when I’m done with you
This campaign focused on your destruction need not have any basis in actual fact, as the psychopath will create an alternative universe using a method that transfers the attributes of the psychopath in an effort to discredit the victim so much that anything they might say would not be considered as a factual representation of the truth.
The battleground may include close personal relationships, workplaces…………….
. For the psychopath it is a long-term commitment to bury their prey and sometimes it can be a lifetime obsession.
The appropriate response when attacked by a psychopathic smear campaign is not to respond, not to defend, not to react, and not to contact the predator ever again; period, as any response, no matter how negative, threatening or even a lawfully empowered response will only add fuel to the fire that runs the engine of the assailant. Do not ask the psychopath to stop or try to negotiate with him/her.
Without responding, document everything. In regards to the importance of documentation:
Psychopaths will manipulate those who have your confidence in order to probe you for information that feeds the psychopathic fire and they will be spreading lies about your credibility and/or sanity. Anything you say to them will be twisted and misconstrued to reflect upon you in the worst possible light.





Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Psychopaths and Malignant Narcissists Supply, Grooming, Seeding, Empaths, Character Assignation, Smear Campaign

Psychopaths and Malignant Narcissists Supply, Grooming, Seeding, Empaths, Character Assignation, Smear campaign. speak on body language and dealing with difficult people including toxic people like this. 

Psychopaths and Malignant Narcissists do not have normal emotions. They are deep dark voids of emptiness. They search for "Narcissistic supply" to feed their void. Their main "supply" comes from healthy individuals. They particularly love highly emotional Empathy. They will feed of an Empaths positive emotions and once bored will abuse the Empath to get negative emotions. They will typically have a secondary source of supply in other lovers and tertiary supply of groups/ family members. 

At some point, a healthy target will see the Psychopath/Narcissists for who they really are. The Psychopath/Narcissists has prepared for this. It has happened to them before. Psychopath/Narcissists false self-image/mask is everything to them. They must destroy anyone who knows them for who they truly are. So the target typically becomes the victim of a smear campaign/character assassination to eject them from the group/family so the Psychopath/Narcissist can continue to gain supply from the group. In fact, they may even get more supply if they are successful in their character assassination as their victim is made to appear like someone who did them harm and the Psychopath/Narcissists gains the sympathy of the group. 

They have planned for this by grooming the group long before they assassinate the character of the victim/target. They have 'seeded" (see "seeding", "lie seeding") the group with negative information about the target and primed them gifting them dinners, entry into exclusive parties, clubs, vents, trips, jobs. (Think Harvey Weinstein.) T. If the group allows the Narcissist/Psychopath to get away with attacking the victim/target and let them stay in the group looking the other way they show the attacker their bad behaviors will be tolerated. 

The group becomes their tertiary supply and they will create drama in the group to feed them often by triangulating group members pitting them against each other. The Psychopath/Narcissist craves a main source of supply and will search for another lover/Empath. If the group gives them no supply, no drama the Narcissists will disappear from the group when they find them and only reappearing if they lose the lover/Empath.




Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Empaths, The Perfect Targets for Psychopaths and Malignant Narcissist's Supply. Character Assignation, Smear Campaing.

Psychopaths and Malignant Narcissists do not have normal emotions. They are deep dark voids of emptiness. They search for "Narcissistic supply" to feed their void. Their main "supply" comes from healthy individuals. They particularly love highly emotional Empaths. They will feed of an Empaths positive emotions and once bored will abuse the Empath to get negative emotions. They will typically have a secondary source of supply in other lovers and tertiary supply of groups/ family members. 

At some point a healthy target will see the Psychopath/Narcissists for who they really are. The Psychopath/Narcissists has prepared for this. It has happened to them before. Psychopath/Narcissists false self image/mask is everthinging to them. They must destroy anyone who knows them for who they truly are. So the target typically becomes the victim of a smear campaign/character assassination to eject them from the group/family so the Psychopath/Narcissist can continue to gain supply from the group. In fact, they may even get more supply if they are successful in their character assassination as their victim is made to appear like someone who did them harm and the Psychopath/Narcissists gains the sympathy of the group. They have planned for this by grooming the group long before they assassinate the character of the victim/target. They have 'seeded" (see "seeding", "lie seeding") the group with negative information about the target and primed them gifting them dinners, entry into exclusive parties, clubs, vents, trips, jobs. (Think Harvey Weinstein.) T. If the group allows the Narcissist/Psychopath to get away with attacking the victim/target and let them stay in the group looking the other way they show the attacker their bad behaviors will be tolerated. 
The group becomes their tertiary supply and they will create drama in the group to feed them often by triangulating group members pitting them against each other. The Psychopath/Narcissist craves a main source of supply and will search for another lover/Empath. If the group gives them no supply, no drama the Narcissists will disappear from the group when they find them and only reappearing if they lose the lover/Empath.

Empaths 

If you truly want to understand how smart warm wonderful women are targets of Psychopaths read the research of Sandra Brown:

“The seminal aspect of the research was in detecting these women's unique and astounding elevated 'super traits' of temperament, personality strengths and weaknesses. These proved to be an amazingly compatible match for the strengths and weaknesses of a psychopath and brought a natural 'balance' to the honeymoon aspects of the relationship.”

“While the uncovering of her innate traits and conditioned behaviors explained much about this dangerous relationship and has brought huge intellectual and emotional relief to the victims, it does not seem to have gone very far in modifying the public misperceptions about psychopaths or their victims. On a recent radio show, after describing the huge elevation of some of the victim's temperament traits and explaining how it could affect her patterns of selection and even tolerance in these relationships, the host said, "That's a crock of crap! You're telling me that a few temperament traits can do that? I don't believe it. She picked him, she stayed, she needs to own it and she was probably abused as a child." These simplistic answers are what have been, and continue to be, at the core of the abysmal lack of public psychopathology education.”

“As mentioned, my research has revealed that women who love psychopaths (and other Cluster B personality disordered individuals) possess rather unique and extraordinary 'super traits' of temperament that make them the perfect target/victim of the psychopath. While the following does not cover all of her traits, these were the ones most highly elevated and were thus likely contributing factors:


Here is the research by Sandra Brown on what psychopaths look for in a romantic partner:
§  Extraversion and excitement seeking (Psychopaths are also extraverts and excitement seekers.)  In other words, these women started out being the least dependent types on the planet!
§  Deep Investment in all relationships (The victim gives great emotional, spiritual, physical, financial investments in any of her relationships, not just the intimate ones.)
§  Sentimentality
§  Attachment – Deep bonding capacity (She has a deep bonding capacity.)
§  Competitiveness – stand ground – not codependent (She is not likely to be run out of relationships – she will stand her ground.  Again, not the co-dependent type at all.)
§  Low Harm Avoidance – does not expect to be hurt (She doesn’t expect to be hurt, sees others through who she is.  In other words, not a person looking to recreate an abusive relationship of childhood.  In fact, more often than not, these women were never exposed to abuse of any kind as children.)
§  Cooperation
§  Higher Empathy – can be genetic
§  Responsibilty and Re



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

GOODNESS How to Deal With Bad People


What are you doing in your life right now that makes you happy? Who are the people in your life that radiate goodness, kindness, humor, and integrity? Who are you grateful for today? Today, who has lifted you up and done something awesome, fun, showed you they worked hard, showed you their talent or who was just plain kind and real to you today?

What work and social activities, interests and hobbies lift you up and make you feel alive, creative and successful? What are you glad you are doing or have done today? Breathe in gratitude for all that is true and good in your life.

Each day I write in a gratitude journal. Some days it's hard, some days it's easy. I write about my friend Rose who can make me laugh for hours on end. Somedays I am grateful for a huge business deal that is exciting and challenging, some days it's long real hugs with my loved ones, warm socks or thin mint cookies. Somedays I write about turning the car stereo up loud and singing with Bruno Mars or going to a house concert with friends and being "inside" the music of Eliot Bronson or The Ghost of Paul Revere, and lately I am grateful for the joy in writing new songs and recording them with talented musicians.

There is a lot of negative energy in the world right now. We see evil and injustice. But there is also a sea change towards goodness. Yes, we are heading towards more goodness. We are noticing bad behavior and saying, "Nope I don't like that." "Stop that because I find that unacceptable." "I choose not to be associated with or do business with someone who acts against my moral values.' That's a very good thing. Bad behavior might have been going on underneath and in the shadows before, allowed and accepted but, right now there is so much light!

Let's be grateful for that light. Don't turn away from what light shows you. I have read and been consulted on so many stories about people doing bad things, but I realized that there are brave, good people that stood up in those stories and said, "No!"  There are so many authentic strong people speaking out and showing what good behavior is. There is kindness.  Let us all focus on the good men and women in the world. And for you, focus on what it feels like to work with and love people you value and trust. Be grateful for them, grab a cookie and turn up some good music.


Look for the goodness!

Take Care,
Patti




Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Harvey Weinstein's Apology Statement.

I have done nonverbal behavior and statement analysis reads of apology statements for many years.
Someone asked me to analyze Harvey Weinstein's apology statement, but I had already read this analysis and thought they did a fine job.
Here is what I would add. First note the length of the apology. A person who is truly contrite is brief in his or her written statement. His statement, uses,  justification, (the sixties made me do it) obfuscation, (Look overa here at thndI would add that you see his disorder thinking. He does not speak in logical order.

http://justnotsaid.blogspot.com/2017/10/sociopath-alert-harvey-weinstein.html


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

MEGHAN MARKLE was close to tears next to Prince Harry as the pair spoke about Princess Diana, according to experts speaking to Daily Star Online

Patti was asked by the Daily Star Online to weigh in on the body language of Meghan Markle as she spoke about Princess Diana.  See her insights at the link below:


https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/663564/Meghan-Markle-Princess-Diana-Prince-Harry-interview-engagement-BBC-Royal-Wedding-video


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Celebrating Success in Your Business. What is Your Company Song?

I just got a media request to share my company song.

My company song is
"Gonna Fly Now" - Rocky 
Music by Bill Conti and Carol Connors 
Lyric by Ayn Robbins 

For over 30 years this has been our company song. I a consultant, professional speaker and author and the song has motivated me and my staff to celebrate every accomplishment and keep working hard through tough times.  I absolutely love what I do and my work itself often feels like flying.  I started the company in 1982. I was working on my graduate degree full time, teaching at Florida State had two other jobs. At the beginnings did some of my speeches for $10 dollars and hour! I was so excited to get my first speech for $500 dollars that when I got off the call about it I jumped up out of my chair, put my hands in the air like Rocky in the movie and started singing the trumpet portion of the song as I danced. All these years later I still do a hands in the air rocky dance when we get a booking/contract, spokesperson job, and or a big check and or when I have a big media interview. My staff joins in if we are in the office together. Sometimes we say over the phone or in emails we send to each other announcing a success “Rocky Dance!”  “Gonna Fly now” still motivated me. I am looking up now to the big year calendars on the wall above our desks in the office with stickers for each booking, and each one got a rocky dance!


The company name is Communication Dynamics Inc. http://www.pattiwood.net/



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Understanding How Smart, Warm, Wonderful Women Are Targets of Psychopaths

If you truly want to understand how smart warm wonderful women are targets of Psychopaths read the research of Sandra Brown:


“The seminal aspect of the research was in detecting these women's unique and astounding elevated 'super traits' of temperament, personality strengths and weaknesses. These proved to be an amazingly compatible match for the strengths and weaknesses of a psychopath and brought a natural 'balance' to the honeymoon aspects of the relationship.”

“While the uncovering of her innate traits and conditioned behaviors explained much about this dangerous relationship and has brought huge intellectual and emotional relief to the victims, it does not seem to have gone very far in modifying the public misperceptions about psychopaths or their victims. On a recent radio show, after describing the huge elevation of some of the victim's temperament traits and explaining how it could affect her patterns of selection and even tolerance in these relationships, the host said, "That's a crock of crap! You're telling me that a few temperament traits can do that? I don't believe it. She picked him, she stayed, she needs to own it and she was probably abused as a child." These simplistic answers are what have been, and continue to be, at the core of the abysmal lack of public psychopathology education.”

“As mentioned, my research has revealed that women who love psychopaths (and other Cluster B personality disordered individuals) possess rather unique and extraordinary 'super traits' of temperament that make them the perfect target/victim of the psychopath. While the following does not cover all of her traits, these were the ones most highly elevated and were thus likely contributing factors:

Here is the research by Sandra Brown on what psychopaths look for in a romantic partner:

§  Extraversion and excitement seeking (Psychopaths are also extroverts and excitement seekers.)  In other words, these women started out being the least dependent types on the planet!
§  Deep Investment in all relationships (The victim gives great emotional, spiritual, physical, financial investments in any of her relationships, not just the intimate ones.)
§  Sentimentality
§  Attachment – Deep bonding capacity (She has a deep bonding capacity.)
§  Competitiveness – stand ground – not codependent (She is not likely to be run out of relationships – she will stand her ground.  Again, not the co-dependent type at all.)
§  Low Harm Avoidance – does not expect to be hurt (She doesn’t expect to be hurt, sees others through who she is.  In other words, not a person looking to recreate an abusive relationship of childhood.  In fact, more often than not, these women were never exposed to abuse of any kind as children.)
§  Cooperation
§  Higher Empathy – can be genetic
§  Responsibilty and Resourcefulness



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Body Language in Engagement Interview



I was asked by The Independent to share my insights on the body language of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle during their engagement interview.  Below are my insights and at the end is a link to the actual article.

Harry and Meghan are openly warm, and affectionate and close with one another.  It is very sweet how they hold hands through the interview. He shows his deep affection and desire to be close to her by reaching out his hand in the handhold and lifting her hand up to support her and resting it on her leg. We see he is willing to give love to her, he doesn’t need to show more dominance by pulling her hand onto his leg.  She is confident in his love and doesn’t need to reach over submissively to his.  The actual hand hold is loose and open, allowing each of them some freedom and showing how relaxed they are being connected to one another.

Note the turn taking and length of turn times in the couple. Meghan quickly answers most of the questions from the interviewer, before Harry, and takes significantly longer turns. This reflects her comfort in media interviews and shows she is lead taker in this kind of situation. But, the way she does it shows she loves him. Notice the low volume, softness timbre and warmth of her voice. Those paralanguage qualities show she is both smitten and softened in his presence from her louder, stronger baseline in media interviews about her before this relationship. Very sweet. She also shows her love and connection by turning to him to check in on her answers from the first question, where she checks in on what they were cooking the night of the proposal, “What were we cooking? … roasted chicken.” And they both laugh.

As they talk about the proposal, I just love the lift and softness and femininity of her voice with rounded softly vocalized T’s, C’s and D’s rather than clipped consonants and a lifting up of the voice at the end of her sentences as if she is asking a question. (Even on responses where she is not checking in with him, that is what submissive females do.)  Significantly, throughout the interview, she keeps turning her full head towards him to gaze at him. She makes a point to state he got down on one knee, and shares that more to the journalist than to him, in a way that indicated the prince got down on one knee to her. She has power that she knows Harry recognizes. She didn’t deliver that information in a purely gushy romantic way. But she IS smitten. She loves to look at him! Harry is wonderfully animated with his free hand gesturing and smiling as they talk about the ring.

As he finished the proposal story, notice how his head tilts toward her to show his desire to connect and be seen as a couple answering the question not just have it be his story. The very next question she jumps in and answers, but again turns to check in with him. I just love how they each have power and how they each check in with each other in a very nice dance. If they keep doing this, two such confident people, they will make a very good couple. I can see them finishing each other’s sentences in an interview 40 year from now if they keep this up.

Note how she got very strong as Harry describes how they first met and as he talks about their mutual friend.  She turns to him and speaks loudly and strongly over his turn, ‘’We... need to protect her privacy.” And how he softly demure and repeats, “protect her privacy.” She is comfortable being strong with him and setting boundaries about what they will share publicly, and he nonverbally acquiesced without looking his significant as he continues smoothly with the story and gestures strongly with a movement across both their bodies.

As she talks about the blind date, she also gestures with her free hand as well. Nice balance for both. I loved how he is talking about wanting a big background on her, see her head dip down in humble embarrassment then as he says she walked and there she was, at time code 3:50 see how they both turn their heads and go into a long mutual gaze they recall the moment they met together. They relive it right in front of us. Lovely.  Next, he huffs, in a take a breath and, “I am really going to have to up my game.” And she keeps looking on and smiling and laughing. 

Link to Article:


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language and Other Nonverbal Tactics Used by Narcissists to Control People.


I just got a media request to discuss the traits and tactics used by narcissists to control people. The journalist was inspired by the following article to seek more information on tactics used to manipulate their targets.  I speak on body language and how to deal with difficult and toxic people. A

http://www.urbo.com/content/tactics-used-by-narcissists-to-silence-you

As a body language expert who speaks and writes on narcissism and other dark triad behaviors. I sent the media contact am a body language expert and I can speak the nonverbal behaviors a Narcissist, may use in one or more of the stages of their abusive relationship with the target. The stages are according to the research, Idolize, Devalue Discard.
They use their target as a source of narcissistic supply. That supply may be gained from the love and adoration of their target and or the pain and anguish of their target or the narcissistic rush from duping their target.  It’s important to clarify the need for supply as during the idealization phase many of their nonverbal behaviors seem like those of the ideal/dream lover.

1.      Hypnotic gaze/starring. They look at their target with focused intense gaze. They are reading their target’s every emotion to know how to act. Hypnotic gaze typically is done to test boundaries. They may do or say something uncomfortable right before or after the hypnotic gaze to test how the target responds. It may feel to the target like love or seduction. The target needs to check in to their feelings and body. If the gaze makes them feel off, or it seems too interest, too exciting or dangerous, they need to break away from it and or get up and move or leave the room and monitor their gazing partners response.

2.       Simple Gazing, We typically think of Narcissist needing attention, but in the Idolizing stage they gaze with adoration, and desire “at” their target. They gaze and gaze till the target gazes back at them. They create a feedback loop to get the constant gaze and attention they desire. It’s tricky for any target to see this as something manipulative, as you naturally want to gaze as someone you desire, like or love.  A “tell” that it could be manipulative is that it starts immediately, often on the first date. Another “tell” is that can go on for hours, till the target feels like they have gone on a long trip,  but actually through stages of exhilaration, to exhaustion. The target has to check in with their emotions and body to see if the gazing feels good or not. Once the narcissist has you in their gaze game they know they have you. Eye contact that intense can be highly addictive. That’s where the narcissists has the power over the target. Now they can break off the eye contact to punish their targets/victims.
3.       Invading space – Narcissists as a rule stand closer than other people. They use space invasion to gain attention, intimidate, show power, test boundaries, and to seduce.

4.       They are masters at matching and mirroring any targets body language in the Idolization phase. Matching and mirroring are normal behaviors for people that like and trust each other. But this will be, like their other nonverbal behaviors, over the top. An example will be they reach for the glass the same moment the target reaches for theirs. The narcissists may even smile and or comment on how high highly matched they are. Again the narcissists creates a connection then stops doing that “wonderful” behavior in the devaluing stag. Once the matching and mirroring stops, it may feel to the target that their partner has changed personalities. It truth they have just stopped mimicking their target. What the target see is the true person unmasked.

5.       They break boundaries, so they may even on the first meeting they will touch a targets face or leg to test how they respond. On a first date they may touch their targets in an intimate way. They may mask the intimacy in sweetness or politeness, for example holding hands or putting their arm around the target after they have only been together a few hours, but acting as if they are already connected and inseparable and bound together.

6.       They may lift the target up in hug, throw them over their shoulder or carry the target. The “lifting you off your feet” may feel thrilling to the target but it can make also lift the target off their feet so they are not strongly grounded and “on their own two feet.” It is also something parents do with children. It may indicate a power play. In the seduction/idealization phase the narcissist works to make themselves more powerful and the target less powerful.

7.       Talking over the target and or not letting the target talk. Dominating the conversation. This “over talking” involves auditory space invasion and other para-language factors that show they are in power. They are often quite charming and good story tellers so it may be hypnotic to listen to them. The target needs to watch for a lack of inclusion. Note if they are in a conversation at all. They may just be listening to a monologue and that is not normal. A loving partner shares time even with an introverted partner. Other “tells” are the narcissist’s voice may get louder and stronger, even when there are only two people in the room. The target needs to note if there are abrupt changes in the emotions of the voices say from seductive, to angry if the target does not give their partner their full rapt attention.

8.       In the “Gas lighting” game they will tell the target they did or didn’t do something or something did or didn’t happen and then look at the target as if they are crazy. “You bought a new dress to go out Friday night?” “I didn’t say we would go out this Friday.” “I already have plans.” “You are messed up.” Then look at the target with pity.
This is brutal manipulation as previously they gazed with love and admiration at them for hours and hours.

9.       Sometimes what makes it hard to feel strong or fight back is shear amount of time that they spend talking. It can wear their “target/partner/victim down. It seems never ending. Narcissists are spinners of tales and once they get on a role about anything it can be impossible to stop them. Targets who may experience this can be punished further for trying to stop them.
In the devalue and or discard stage manipulative behaviors begin to increase.  Again, the three stages are idolize, devalue and discard.
10.   They also you the nonverbal method of the silent treatment. That could be in response their target asking them a question they don’t want to answer of making a request or to punish any behaviors they see as unacceptable. They can also enhance the silent treatment by disappearing for hours, days or weeks unexpectedly. That is particularly brutal tool to use after the trauma bond has been formed with their target.  

11.   In the devalue discard phases the narcissists may show their “Dead Eyes,” cold and malevolent and scary.






Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

How Did Woody Allen Get Away with Abusing His Daughter? By Using Character Assassination.

The article below clearly illustrates how Woody Allen assassinated his victim's mother character to cover up his abuse. Abusers often call their victims and their victims defenders crazy! 

I analyzed the 60 minutes video they referred to in this piece for CNN when it appeared years ago. It was clear he was lying then. The point now is to not be complicit. Don't let his art and success blind you to his pathology. We are seeing in our culture a seismic shift. Seeing evil is hard, the cognitive dissonance in your brain says, "But I have always liked him and he is a funny man and how can he be a creepy man?" It makes you feel uncomfortable. Many of have to admit we looked the other way, and went to see his movies anyway, but now it is clear we need to stop. You can't give his behavior a "pass". Morally we must see evil and stop it. If you are thinking, "Oh he abused his daughter years ago, whats the big deal?"  read the article to see how his daughter suffered for all those years because we refused to call him out. 

http://uproxx.com/movies/woody-allen-sexual-assault-allegations-2017-wonder-wheel/

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.