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Couples and Sleep Positions
How do sleep positions offer a view into what's going on in the relationship?
What is so fascinating is that it can reveal things about the couple that people may not see if they watch the couple upright in the daytime. We are at our most vulnerable position in sleep. Woman you can fake a lot with a man but you can’t fake your sleep position. So how your body moves and joins shows your trust and connection. When looking at sleep positions you always want to take into consideration health issues like snoring that may not only make you want to move away from your partner in bed, they may make you want to leave the room! Also, realize there are no right ways or wrong ways to sleep with your sweetie. You are not being graded on your sleep positions and unless you are on a reality television show, we are not watching you sleep.
When an individual sleeps in the fetal position on your side curled up it shows an innocence and trust. British research says that 51 percent of women and sleep in this position. If they hug the pillow, they need a lot of love and what does it say about a couple if they spoon so both are in the curled up position? In the two spoons in a drawer position, couples sleep side-by-side with one partner's full front around the full back of the other partner. If the man is around the woman it shows that, he is comfortable being the protector in the relationship. If the woman is around the man, loosely it shows she is the protector but if she is wrapped around him tightly in a way that constricts his movements and he is arching or pulling away, she is showing in sleep that she is fearful of losing him. In the cradled spoon both partners are on their sides and one partner will be cradled to the chest of the other. Typically, the woman’s head is cradled into the man’s chest with the man’s arms wrapped around the woman. Again showing protectiveness but with more emphasis on the women letting go of a need to be dominant. Some woman may start in this position but move up in sleep to show their need to be on an equal level with their partner. On the other hand, they just might need air! (Smile)
Comfortable spooning is his is the most common position adopted by couples during the first few years of their relationship/marriage. If the spooning is comfortably given and equal, it shows sexuality and security in the relationship. One partner is saying with their body, I can turn my back on you and know I am safe, you have my back and the other partner is saying I want to surround you and take you in. Since the full torso is making contact, it also shows a secure sexual relationship. This position has been shown to increase intimacy in couples and reduce the stress of both partners. Everybody Spoon!
Loose spooning where there is a little gap between the bodies, tends to come later in the relationship after a few years typically 5 to 6 but if the couple is still close they will touch hands, feet, or knees to stay connected.
V Hug occurs when couples may be back-to-back to create more independence, the upper bodies, legs, and feet are apart but the rear ends touch. So each partner forms a V. As long as their buttocks touch, they are staying connected and showing that their sexual interest is still present. They are already a confident couple just need space. This is a sleep position that can form when a couple has small children that cling to them during the day so in sleep they want to touch their partner intimately way but not model a child’s need to hold on.
The Honeymoon Hug occurs when couples just cannot get enough of each other they want to gaze into each other’s eyes even in sleep. They face each other and touch the front of their bodies their feet their legs their knees torso chests even one partner may even cradle the others face in their hands. This is a common position after couples first make love. In addition, is also seen in couples who are not married. If your partner hasn’t been facing you as they go to sleep and they start facing you, it indicates their need to connect, and be more intimate.
The Royal Hug- In the position the man lies on his back facing up. If anyone takes this position it indicates confidence and self-assurance symbolically the person is facing life. When you sleep like that with your partner, you’re showing your power and dominance in the relationship. If the female partner rests her head on, his shoulder and faces him in a fetal position she is showing she depends on and lets him be in charge. If she is rests her head but stretches out her body she depends on him but she wants to make decisions herself as well. If a woman head rests further down on the man’s chest rather than shoulder it shows she feels more comfortable with the man in charge. This is a common position for women to take when their husbands are much older. If the man has his hands on top of his head like a crown and/or the elbows out to the side in a cape, they are showing they think they are in charge. They are take charge enthusiastic and perhaps like to tell their partner The Leg or Feet Hug- This is a position where just the legs or feet of the couple touch. This position can be taken after years of marriage when the couple wants space but still wants to connect. Alternatively, can be a position couples take after a fight when they would normally have slept closer but their angry so they don’t go to the old position but they signal they will still love each other in the morning by touching the feet or legs. The feet are the most honest portion of the body, under the least conscious control, the furthest from the brain. I love that your mind is mad but your body says I still love you and I won’t kick you out of the bed.
Sleeping on your stomach temporarily typically shows you are anxious and need to protect the vulnerable front of your body. So watch if your partner suddenly changes to that position. A partner who turns away from their mate to sleep on their stomach can be communicating a lack of trust in their partner. Watch to see if your children switch to that position as well. Research shows that when someone who always sleeps on their stomach with their arms bent and hands up around the head in a crown in the crab position it shows they persistent goal oriented compulsive and stubborn.
The Cliffhanger is when both couples are opposite sides of the bed facing away from one another with no physical contact. This could be because each person needs a good night’s sleep and some external factor like snoring or menopausal night sweats make your partner an inferno or if it is a change from hug like sleep it can indicate a desire to be more independent or separate from or a desire to have a king size bed.
Always notice changes in sleep positions. If a partner is close for years and suddenly separate and there is not physical reason like you, started snoring you can reach out a hand or foot across the bed and see if they respond in kind or brings it up in conversation. “I loved it when you slept with your arms around me and I noticed you haven’t been what can we do to feel closer during the day so we feel comfortable being close at night?”
There are couples that our so interconnected that they go beyond spooning to a position I call, melding, where the couples wrap themselves around each other completely with legs and arms around each other. My sister and brother-in-law have always slept that way and they married a week after they graduated from college and have been married for40 years.
What does it say to your partner or about the relationship if the couples sleep away from one another, at the opposite sides of the bed? The body positions in sleep reflect the true relationship. Unless one partner snores or is in menopause or has some other physical issue (in which case would prevent them from getting into bed and cuddling and then separating in sleep.), sleep separation shows a desire to have a stronger sense of self and less dependence or interdependence on your partner.
What does it mean when couples don't sleep in the same room? Again, unless there is a physical reason it shows the need to be separate. I advise couples to go to bed together in one room at the same time and cuddle. If there are physical issues I recommend that they go to bed together for a little bit, cuddle and then go to separate rooms. Try to share the same bed a few mornings together too. Time spent side-by-side in an intimate space with one another is important. That situation creates a perfect place for self-disclosure and bonding that couples don’t want to miss. Men are more likely to self disclose when positioned side by side with someone. They can be defensive or closed when they sit across a table from you but get them lying side by side and they open up. Women choose the booth at the restaurant and want to talk over the dinner table they want to face a man to speak with him and watch his body language men want the front of their bodies their heart windows protected when they share their intimate thoughts and feelings. Think about how women who are driving look at the passenger to speak and men who are driving always look forward. So too get a man to share get in on a long car trip or in bed.
Research indicates, couples who fall asleep and wake up at the same time, the longevity of the marriage is enhanced. Studies also show - couples who got up and went to sleep at the same time are content in their relationship, while 30% of those with dissimilar sleep times complained of an unhappy union. This is not surprising, unless there is a health issue sleep patterns can be a passive aggressive way of communicating to your spouse. It can say, "I cannot depend on you." or "I don’t trust you." or "I want to leave space to be unfaithful to you." "I don't feel that close to you."
Here are my rough notes to a journalist from NEST magazine doing an article on sleep positions.
How do sleep positions of couples offer a view into what's going on in the relationship?
What does it say about a couple if they spoon? In the two spoons in a drawer position, couples sleep side-by-side with one partner's full front around the full back of the other partner. If the man is around the woman it shows that he is comfortable being the protector in the relationship. If the woman is around the man loosely it shows she is the protector but if she is wrapped around him tightly she is fearful of losing him. This is the most common position adopted by couples during the first few years of their relationship/marriage. If the spooning is comfortably given and equal, it shows security in the relationship. Since full torso is making contact it also shows a secure sexual relationship. This position has been shown to increase intimacy in couples and reduce the stress of both partners. Everybody Spoon!
Loose spooning where there is a little gap between the bodies, tends to come later in the relationship after a few years.
Later couples may be back-to-back to create more independence, but as long as their buttocks touch they are staying connected and showing their sexual interest is still present.
Their our couples that go beyond spooning to a position I call, melding, where the couples wrap themselves around each other completely with legs and arms around each other. My sister and brother-in-law have always slept that way and they married a week after they graduated from college and have been married for40 years.
What does it say to your partner or about the relationship if the couples sleeps away from one another, at the opposite sides of the bed? The body positions in sleep reflect the true relationship. Unless one partner snores or is in menopause or has some other physical issue (in which case would prevent them from getting into bed and cuddling and then separating in sleep.) sleep separation shows a desire to have a stronger sense of self and less dependence or interdependence on your partner.
What does it mean when couples don't sleep in the same room? Again, unless there is a physical reason it shows the need to be separate. I advise couples to go to bed together in one room at the same time and cuddle. If there are physical issues I recommend that they go to bed together for a little bit, cuddle and then go to separate rooms. Try to share the same bed a few mornings together too. Time spent side-by-side in an intimate space with one another is important. That situation creates a perfect place for self disclosure and bonding that couples don’t want to miss.
Research indicates, couples who fall asleep and wake up at the same time, the longevity of the marriage is enhanced. Studies also show - couples who got up and went to sleep at the same time are content in their relationship, while 30% of those with dissimilar sleep times complained of an unhappy union. This is not surprising, unless there is a health issue sleep patterns can be a passive aggressive way of communicating to your spouse. It can say, "I cannot depend on you." or "I don’t trust you." or "I want to leave space to be unfaithful to you." "I don't feel that close to you."
What is so fascinating is that it can reveal things about the couple that people may not see if they watch the couple upright in the daytime. We are at our most vulnerable position in sleep. Woman you can fake a lot with a man but you can’t fake your sleep position. So how your body moves and joins shows your trust and connection. When looking at sleep positions you always want to take into consideration health issues like snoring that may not only make you want to move away from your partner in bed, they may make you want to leave the room! Also, realize there are no right ways or wrong ways to sleep with your sweetie. You are not being graded on your sleep positions and unless you are on a reality television show, we are not watching you sleep.
When an individual sleeps in the fetal position on your side curled up it shows an innocence and trust. British research says that 51 percent of women and sleep in this position. If they hug the pillow, they need a lot of love and what does it say about a couple if they spoon so both are in the curled up position? In the two spoons in a drawer position, couples sleep side-by-side with one partner's full front around the full back of the other partner. If the man is around the woman it shows that, he is comfortable being the protector in the relationship. If the woman is around the man, loosely it shows she is the protector but if she is wrapped around him tightly in a way that constricts his movements and he is arching or pulling away, she is showing in sleep that she is fearful of losing him. In the cradled spoon both partners are on their sides and one partner will be cradled to the chest of the other. Typically, the woman’s head is cradled into the man’s chest with the man’s arms wrapped around the woman. Again showing protectiveness but with more emphasis on the women letting go of a need to be dominant. Some woman may start in this position but move up in sleep to show their need to be on an equal level with their partner. On the other hand, they just might need air! (Smile)
Comfortable spooning is his is the most common position adopted by couples during the first few years of their relationship/marriage. If the spooning is comfortably given and equal, it shows sexuality and security in the relationship. One partner is saying with their body, I can turn my back on you and know I am safe, you have my back and the other partner is saying I want to surround you and take you in. Since the full torso is making contact, it also shows a secure sexual relationship. This position has been shown to increase intimacy in couples and reduce the stress of both partners. Everybody Spoon!
Loose spooning where there is a little gap between the bodies, tends to come later in the relationship after a few years typically 5 to 6 but if the couple is still close they will touch hands, feet, or knees to stay connected.
V Hug occurs when couples may be back-to-back to create more independence, the upper bodies, legs, and feet are apart but the rear ends touch. So each partner forms a V. As long as their buttocks touch, they are staying connected and showing that their sexual interest is still present. They are already a confident couple just need space. This is a sleep position that can form when a couple has small children that cling to them during the day so in sleep they want to touch their partner intimately way but not model a child’s need to hold on.
The Honeymoon Hug occurs when couples just cannot get enough of each other they want to gaze into each other’s eyes even in sleep. They face each other and touch the front of their bodies their feet their legs their knees torso chests even one partner may even cradle the others face in their hands. This is a common position after couples first make love. In addition, is also seen in couples who are not married. If your partner hasn’t been facing you as they go to sleep and they start facing you, it indicates their need to connect, and be more intimate.
The Royal Hug- In the position the man lies on his back facing up. If anyone takes this position it indicates confidence and self-assurance symbolically the person is facing life. When you sleep like that with your partner, you’re showing your power and dominance in the relationship. If the female partner rests her head on, his shoulder and faces him in a fetal position she is showing she depends on and lets him be in charge. If she is rests her head but stretches out her body she depends on him but she wants to make decisions herself as well. If a woman head rests further down on the man’s chest rather than shoulder it shows she feels more comfortable with the man in charge. This is a common position for women to take when their husbands are much older. If the man has his hands on top of his head like a crown and/or the elbows out to the side in a cape, they are showing they think they are in charge. They are take charge enthusiastic and perhaps like to tell their partner The Leg or Feet Hug- This is a position where just the legs or feet of the couple touch. This position can be taken after years of marriage when the couple wants space but still wants to connect. Alternatively, can be a position couples take after a fight when they would normally have slept closer but their angry so they don’t go to the old position but they signal they will still love each other in the morning by touching the feet or legs. The feet are the most honest portion of the body, under the least conscious control, the furthest from the brain. I love that your mind is mad but your body says I still love you and I won’t kick you out of the bed.
Sleeping on your stomach temporarily typically shows you are anxious and need to protect the vulnerable front of your body. So watch if your partner suddenly changes to that position. A partner who turns away from their mate to sleep on their stomach can be communicating a lack of trust in their partner. Watch to see if your children switch to that position as well. Research shows that when someone who always sleeps on their stomach with their arms bent and hands up around the head in a crown in the crab position it shows they persistent goal oriented compulsive and stubborn.
The Cliffhanger is when both couples are opposite sides of the bed facing away from one another with no physical contact. This could be because each person needs a good night’s sleep and some external factor like snoring or menopausal night sweats make your partner an inferno or if it is a change from hug like sleep it can indicate a desire to be more independent or separate from or a desire to have a king size bed.
Always notice changes in sleep positions. If a partner is close for years and suddenly separate and there is not physical reason like you, started snoring you can reach out a hand or foot across the bed and see if they respond in kind or brings it up in conversation. “I loved it when you slept with your arms around me and I noticed you haven’t been what can we do to feel closer during the day so we feel comfortable being close at night?”
There are couples that our so interconnected that they go beyond spooning to a position I call, melding, where the couples wrap themselves around each other completely with legs and arms around each other. My sister and brother-in-law have always slept that way and they married a week after they graduated from college and have been married for40 years.
What does it say to your partner or about the relationship if the couples sleep away from one another, at the opposite sides of the bed? The body positions in sleep reflect the true relationship. Unless one partner snores or is in menopause or has some other physical issue (in which case would prevent them from getting into bed and cuddling and then separating in sleep.), sleep separation shows a desire to have a stronger sense of self and less dependence or interdependence on your partner.
What does it mean when couples don't sleep in the same room? Again, unless there is a physical reason it shows the need to be separate. I advise couples to go to bed together in one room at the same time and cuddle. If there are physical issues I recommend that they go to bed together for a little bit, cuddle and then go to separate rooms. Try to share the same bed a few mornings together too. Time spent side-by-side in an intimate space with one another is important. That situation creates a perfect place for self-disclosure and bonding that couples don’t want to miss. Men are more likely to self disclose when positioned side by side with someone. They can be defensive or closed when they sit across a table from you but get them lying side by side and they open up. Women choose the booth at the restaurant and want to talk over the dinner table they want to face a man to speak with him and watch his body language men want the front of their bodies their heart windows protected when they share their intimate thoughts and feelings. Think about how women who are driving look at the passenger to speak and men who are driving always look forward. So too get a man to share get in on a long car trip or in bed.
Research indicates, couples who fall asleep and wake up at the same time, the longevity of the marriage is enhanced. Studies also show - couples who got up and went to sleep at the same time are content in their relationship, while 30% of those with dissimilar sleep times complained of an unhappy union. This is not surprising, unless there is a health issue sleep patterns can be a passive aggressive way of communicating to your spouse. It can say, "I cannot depend on you." or "I don’t trust you." or "I want to leave space to be unfaithful to you." "I don't feel that close to you."
Here are my rough notes to a journalist from NEST magazine doing an article on sleep positions.
How do sleep positions of couples offer a view into what's going on in the relationship?
What does it say about a couple if they spoon? In the two spoons in a drawer position, couples sleep side-by-side with one partner's full front around the full back of the other partner. If the man is around the woman it shows that he is comfortable being the protector in the relationship. If the woman is around the man loosely it shows she is the protector but if she is wrapped around him tightly she is fearful of losing him. This is the most common position adopted by couples during the first few years of their relationship/marriage. If the spooning is comfortably given and equal, it shows security in the relationship. Since full torso is making contact it also shows a secure sexual relationship. This position has been shown to increase intimacy in couples and reduce the stress of both partners. Everybody Spoon!
Loose spooning where there is a little gap between the bodies, tends to come later in the relationship after a few years.
Later couples may be back-to-back to create more independence, but as long as their buttocks touch they are staying connected and showing their sexual interest is still present.
Their our couples that go beyond spooning to a position I call, melding, where the couples wrap themselves around each other completely with legs and arms around each other. My sister and brother-in-law have always slept that way and they married a week after they graduated from college and have been married for40 years.
What does it say to your partner or about the relationship if the couples sleeps away from one another, at the opposite sides of the bed? The body positions in sleep reflect the true relationship. Unless one partner snores or is in menopause or has some other physical issue (in which case would prevent them from getting into bed and cuddling and then separating in sleep.) sleep separation shows a desire to have a stronger sense of self and less dependence or interdependence on your partner.
What does it mean when couples don't sleep in the same room? Again, unless there is a physical reason it shows the need to be separate. I advise couples to go to bed together in one room at the same time and cuddle. If there are physical issues I recommend that they go to bed together for a little bit, cuddle and then go to separate rooms. Try to share the same bed a few mornings together too. Time spent side-by-side in an intimate space with one another is important. That situation creates a perfect place for self disclosure and bonding that couples don’t want to miss.
Research indicates, couples who fall asleep and wake up at the same time, the longevity of the marriage is enhanced. Studies also show - couples who got up and went to sleep at the same time are content in their relationship, while 30% of those with dissimilar sleep times complained of an unhappy union. This is not surprising, unless there is a health issue sleep patterns can be a passive aggressive way of communicating to your spouse. It can say, "I cannot depend on you." or "I don’t trust you." or "I want to leave space to be unfaithful to you." "I don't feel that close to you."
What your favorite snack food reveals about your personality
I am getting ready for a presentation in Chicago on DISC personalty type. I have researching and speaking on personality type for almost 30 years. GASP!
I did research on sneezing, smiling, and chewing and the DISC personality type as the National spokesperson for Benadryl, The Natural Dentist and Wrigley's gum respectively. ( my tests are on my website at PattiWood.net. Today, as I prepped for my speech, I went out to look for any new research on DISC and found a fun test that shows how your favorite snack food reveals your personality. The research for the test was done on 800 people a reasonable sample size but there where no details on how the research was done. In any case, check your very favorite snack food from the list of 10 snacks below then go to the link to find your results. Just pick one!
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September/October 2007 By Lisa Turner, from Alternative Medicine
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Dying for a doughnut? Pining for a pretzel? What you snack on reveals more than your food preferences, says Alan Hirsch, neurological director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago and author of What's Your Food Sign? (Stewart, Tabori, and Chang, 2006). Hirsch had 800 volunteers take personality tests and then asked them which of eight snacks they preferred. The results were astounding: Those who shared a particular personality type chose the same snack 95 percent of the time.
Yes, if we learn to view healthy food as a human right...
While linking personality type with a passion for popcorn might seem like a stretch, Hirsch says it makes sense biologically. "Food preferences reside in the olfactory lobe, the same part of the brain where the personality resides," he explains.
Here's the message in some popular munchies:
Tortilla chips. You're a perfectionist. You're successful and ambitious, and you like to plan ahead. You have a strong sense of social responsibility and abhor injustice.
Pretzels. You're the life of the party. You love novelty and can quickly become bored with routine. You tend to start new projects before completing existing ones.
Cheese curls. You have a high sense of morals and ethics and insist upon treating everyone fairly. You might seem uptight, but you're highly organized and methodical.
Popcorn. You're a take-charge type, but with a modest, low-key demeanor. Confident but reserved, you would make a large charitable donation without telling anyone.
Nuts. You're even-tempered, easy to get along with, and highly empathetic. Your easygoing, cooperative nature contributes to success at home and at work.
Potato chips. You're achievement-oriented, successful, and competitive. You're a natural leader but can be easily irritated with inconveniences like long lines and traffic jams.
Crackers. You're contemplative, thoughtful, and often a loner. You prefer private time and shy away from confrontation and arguments; you can't stand to hurt another person's feelings.
Meat snacks (like beef jerky). You're gregarious and generous, and you tend to be loyal to a fault. Says Hirsch, "If you want a true friend, pick a meat-snack lover."
Excerpted from Alternative Medicine (May 2007), a trusted voice in the field of natural health; http://www.alternativemedicine.com/.
I did research on sneezing, smiling, and chewing and the DISC personality type as the National spokesperson for Benadryl, The Natural Dentist and Wrigley's gum respectively. ( my tests are on my website at PattiWood.net. Today, as I prepped for my speech, I went out to look for any new research on DISC and found a fun test that shows how your favorite snack food reveals your personality. The research for the test was done on 800 people a reasonable sample size but there where no details on how the research was done. In any case, check your very favorite snack food from the list of 10 snacks below then go to the link to find your results. Just pick one!
My favorite snack food it ....
___ Tortilla chips ___ Pretzels ___ Cheese curls ____Popcorn,
___Nuts ____Potato chips _____ Crackers ____Meat snacks (like beef jerky)
Excerpted from Alternative Medicine (May 2007), a trusted voice in the field of natural health; http://www.alternativemedicine.com/.addthis_url = location.href;
addthis_title = document.title;
addthis_pub = 'ogdenpubs';
RSS Comments E-mail Print
September/October 2007 By Lisa Turner, from Alternative Medicine
Article Tools
Dying for a doughnut? Pining for a pretzel? What you snack on reveals more than your food preferences, says Alan Hirsch, neurological director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago and author of What's Your Food Sign? (Stewart, Tabori, and Chang, 2006). Hirsch had 800 volunteers take personality tests and then asked them which of eight snacks they preferred. The results were astounding: Those who shared a particular personality type chose the same snack 95 percent of the time.
Yes, if we learn to view healthy food as a human right...
While linking personality type with a passion for popcorn might seem like a stretch, Hirsch says it makes sense biologically. "Food preferences reside in the olfactory lobe, the same part of the brain where the personality resides," he explains.
Here's the message in some popular munchies:
Tortilla chips. You're a perfectionist. You're successful and ambitious, and you like to plan ahead. You have a strong sense of social responsibility and abhor injustice.
Pretzels. You're the life of the party. You love novelty and can quickly become bored with routine. You tend to start new projects before completing existing ones.
Cheese curls. You have a high sense of morals and ethics and insist upon treating everyone fairly. You might seem uptight, but you're highly organized and methodical.
Popcorn. You're a take-charge type, but with a modest, low-key demeanor. Confident but reserved, you would make a large charitable donation without telling anyone.
Nuts. You're even-tempered, easy to get along with, and highly empathetic. Your easygoing, cooperative nature contributes to success at home and at work.
Potato chips. You're achievement-oriented, successful, and competitive. You're a natural leader but can be easily irritated with inconveniences like long lines and traffic jams.
Crackers. You're contemplative, thoughtful, and often a loner. You prefer private time and shy away from confrontation and arguments; you can't stand to hurt another person's feelings.
Meat snacks (like beef jerky). You're gregarious and generous, and you tend to be loyal to a fault. Says Hirsch, "If you want a true friend, pick a meat-snack lover."
Excerpted from Alternative Medicine (May 2007), a trusted voice in the field of natural health; http://www.alternativemedicine.com/.
I can see by your face you would be unfaithful.
Yes, you are actually able to tell if someone is likely to be unfaithful to you by looking at their faces. The study below shows that Men with Masculine faces and women with highly attractiveness are not only perceived as being more likely to be unfaithful but are more unfaithful. In addition, it shows that woman prefer more androgynous looking men because they are more likely to be faithful. That explains my teen age crushes on Davey Jone and David Cassidy.
Original Article
Facial correlates of sociosexuality
Lynda G. Boothroyda,b,⁎, Benedict C. Jonesa,c, D. Michael Burta,b,
Lisa M. DeBruinec, David I. Perretta
aSchool of Psychology, University of St Andrews, Fife, Scotland, UK
bDepartment of Psychology, University of Durham, Durham, England, UK
cSchool of Psychology, University of Aberdeen, Aberdeen, Scotland, UK
Initial receipt 14 August 2007; final revision received 28 December 2007
Abstract
Previous studies have documented variation in sexual behaviour between individuals leading to the notion of ‘restricted’ individuals
(i.e., people who prefer long-term relationships) and ‘unrestricted’ individuals (i.e., people who are open to short-term relationships). This
distinction is often referred to as sociosexual orientation. Observers have been previously found to distinguish sociosexuality from video
footage of individuals, although the specific cues used have not been identified. Here we assessed the ability of observers to judge sexual
strategy based specifically on cues in both facial composites and real faces. We also assessed how observers' perceptions of the
masculinity/femininity and attractiveness of faces relate to the sociosexual orientation of the pictured individuals. Observers were
generally able to identify restricted vs. unrestricted individuals from cues in both composites and real faces. Unrestricted sociosexuality
was generally associated with greater attractiveness in female composites and real female faces and greater masculinity in male
composites. Although male observers did not generally associate sociosexuality with male attractiveness, female observers generally
preferred more restricted males' faces (i.e., those with relatively strong preferences for long-term relationships). Collectively, our results
support previous findings that androgenisation in men is related to less restricted sexual behaviour and suggest that women are averse to
unrestricted men.
© 2008 Published by Elsevier Inc.
Keywords: Sexual strategy; Sociosexuality; Masculinity; Attraction; Faces
Original Article
Facial correlates of sociosexuality
Lynda G. Boothroyda,b,⁎, Benedict C. Jonesa,c, D. Michael Burta,b,
Lisa M. DeBruinec, David I. Perretta
aSchool of Psychology, University of St Andrews, Fife, Scotland, UK
bDepartment of Psychology, University of Durham, Durham, England, UK
cSchool of Psychology, University of Aberdeen, Aberdeen, Scotland, UK
Initial receipt 14 August 2007; final revision received 28 December 2007
Abstract
Previous studies have documented variation in sexual behaviour between individuals leading to the notion of ‘restricted’ individuals
(i.e., people who prefer long-term relationships) and ‘unrestricted’ individuals (i.e., people who are open to short-term relationships). This
distinction is often referred to as sociosexual orientation. Observers have been previously found to distinguish sociosexuality from video
footage of individuals, although the specific cues used have not been identified. Here we assessed the ability of observers to judge sexual
strategy based specifically on cues in both facial composites and real faces. We also assessed how observers' perceptions of the
masculinity/femininity and attractiveness of faces relate to the sociosexual orientation of the pictured individuals. Observers were
generally able to identify restricted vs. unrestricted individuals from cues in both composites and real faces. Unrestricted sociosexuality
was generally associated with greater attractiveness in female composites and real female faces and greater masculinity in male
composites. Although male observers did not generally associate sociosexuality with male attractiveness, female observers generally
preferred more restricted males' faces (i.e., those with relatively strong preferences for long-term relationships). Collectively, our results
support previous findings that androgenisation in men is related to less restricted sexual behaviour and suggest that women are averse to
unrestricted men.
© 2008 Published by Elsevier Inc.
Keywords: Sexual strategy; Sociosexuality; Masculinity; Attraction; Faces
The secreat body language tell of contempt
I just had one on my coaching clients here at the office. (Yes I do one on one coaching on body language.) I gave him the facial expression test to identify emotions. We ended up having a really great discussion about the different facial expressions. My client was particularly fascinated by the "tell" for contempt. If you follow this blog you know I talk a lot about the lack of facial symmetry. Well when someone feels contemptuous they often pull up the their lip on one side of the face. The face looks twisted. Remember it this way. Contempt is a twisted emotion so it twists the face.
Dancing with the Stars Body Language
BODY LANGUAGE OF CELEBRITIES
On Dancing with the Stars
Here are my rough notes (translation unedited notes) on Dancing with the Stars body language.
Steve Wozniak always projects happiness and optimism verbally, but he seems to stand rigid with his hands steadfastly down beside his body. He also tilts his head many times when listening to the judge’s scores all while maintaining a billion dollar smile. His face seems to be reacting differently to his body. Why?
What is so wonderful about reading body language of celebrities in dancing with the stars is you know what their body language is normally are on TV you what called in their baseline is and then you see how being exciting and challenging show changes them and shows you things you have never seen before. In Steve's case, he always holds his body very stiff in what I call the Nutcracker posture big smile arms down at his sides. That his normal behaviour. He has so much fun on the dance floor chest out during judging only one talked put out his hand arm to get attention and speak he actually able to talk.
The body is always more honest than the face because it under less conscious control you are less aware of it so when you are reading body language you want to read from the feet to the top of the head. The face can be for show the body can be for real. A head tilt can mean intent listening or show I am less powerful than you are.
Lawrence spends a lot of time on his own behind the scenes and in the red room before his performance. Why do you think he does this? This is so fascinating, his he has this image of being very aggressive on the football field, but on the need to spend, a lot of time reveals that he is really an introvert. Introverts need time alone to recharge their batteries. (Nervousness biting his nails in first practices self-beating himself up. During judging on first show. Tongue thrust, hands fully behind his back, tight stiff mouth grin
Ty constantly licks his lips and bites his lower lip when listening to the judges. What does that mean? Nervousness? King of the rodeo smiling most cheek up against her tongue wiping away nervousness Bruno tough judge downward smile and tongue thrust out at end of judging and before scores on first episode
Ty also holds on to Chelsea very tightly with his hand right around the back of her shoulder blades grasping the other side of her arm. Is he perhaps protecting her or holding on to her for moral support?
Denise licks her lips and tilts her head and to one side and puts her hand on her hip on this same side when listening to the judges. Almost like a little kid does in the playground when they are being defiant or strong. Any particular reason why Denise might do this?
For someone so noisy and chatty, you nailed Steve big grin and rubbing his hands together during judges scoring, Steve O is very quiet and closed mouth breathing through his nose. I love that his smiles and gulps down and breaths through his nose. He gulping for air after dancing but we breathe negative feeling out and his breathing his nervousness out through his nose. (First show little smile during waltz as he completed step the funny ta da move and grin at the end of the waltz,) During first judging started with big smile and then nodded his head
Shawn holds her hands and arms in front when listening to the judge. What does that tell us?
Holly shrugs her shoulders and grins a sheepish smile lot when listening to the judges. What does this mean? That shrugging shoulder turtle posture is a protective response when someone is under attack.
David puffs his chest out and looks down over his nose with his chin tilted up – looking down over the judges when listening to them. He is tight lipped and keeps his hands behind his back. What does this tell us? Chin up edges of mouth down
Melissa clasps her hands together in front as if she was about to start washing them. What does this mean? Let us get down to business. Tongue out like a bad taste left side of face twisted down to hold he
On Dancing with the Stars
Here are my rough notes (translation unedited notes) on Dancing with the Stars body language.
Steve Wozniak always projects happiness and optimism verbally, but he seems to stand rigid with his hands steadfastly down beside his body. He also tilts his head many times when listening to the judge’s scores all while maintaining a billion dollar smile. His face seems to be reacting differently to his body. Why?
What is so wonderful about reading body language of celebrities in dancing with the stars is you know what their body language is normally are on TV you what called in their baseline is and then you see how being exciting and challenging show changes them and shows you things you have never seen before. In Steve's case, he always holds his body very stiff in what I call the Nutcracker posture big smile arms down at his sides. That his normal behaviour. He has so much fun on the dance floor chest out during judging only one talked put out his hand arm to get attention and speak he actually able to talk.
The body is always more honest than the face because it under less conscious control you are less aware of it so when you are reading body language you want to read from the feet to the top of the head. The face can be for show the body can be for real. A head tilt can mean intent listening or show I am less powerful than you are.
Lawrence spends a lot of time on his own behind the scenes and in the red room before his performance. Why do you think he does this? This is so fascinating, his he has this image of being very aggressive on the football field, but on the need to spend, a lot of time reveals that he is really an introvert. Introverts need time alone to recharge their batteries. (Nervousness biting his nails in first practices self-beating himself up. During judging on first show. Tongue thrust, hands fully behind his back, tight stiff mouth grin
Ty constantly licks his lips and bites his lower lip when listening to the judges. What does that mean? Nervousness? King of the rodeo smiling most cheek up against her tongue wiping away nervousness Bruno tough judge downward smile and tongue thrust out at end of judging and before scores on first episode
Ty also holds on to Chelsea very tightly with his hand right around the back of her shoulder blades grasping the other side of her arm. Is he perhaps protecting her or holding on to her for moral support?
Denise licks her lips and tilts her head and to one side and puts her hand on her hip on this same side when listening to the judges. Almost like a little kid does in the playground when they are being defiant or strong. Any particular reason why Denise might do this?
For someone so noisy and chatty, you nailed Steve big grin and rubbing his hands together during judges scoring, Steve O is very quiet and closed mouth breathing through his nose. I love that his smiles and gulps down and breaths through his nose. He gulping for air after dancing but we breathe negative feeling out and his breathing his nervousness out through his nose. (First show little smile during waltz as he completed step the funny ta da move and grin at the end of the waltz,) During first judging started with big smile and then nodded his head
Shawn holds her hands and arms in front when listening to the judge. What does that tell us?
Holly shrugs her shoulders and grins a sheepish smile lot when listening to the judges. What does this mean? That shrugging shoulder turtle posture is a protective response when someone is under attack.
David puffs his chest out and looks down over his nose with his chin tilted up – looking down over the judges when listening to them. He is tight lipped and keeps his hands behind his back. What does this tell us? Chin up edges of mouth down
Melissa clasps her hands together in front as if she was about to start washing them. What does this mean? Let us get down to business. Tongue out like a bad taste left side of face twisted down to hold he
Helping Children Deal with Stranger Danger,
The website and publication "Root and Sprout" wanted parents to know how to teach their children about Stranger Danger.
As body language expert I can speak to corporate audiences about the accuracy of your immediate gut impressions. My audiences have shared funny and sometimes embarrassing stories about their toddlers accurate first impressions of "Aunt Martha" or That scary guy at the car place." Teach them to feel comfortable going with gut impressions of people. In that fraction of a second the child is reading the nonverbal cues in the primal brain before he or she can process the information in his or her conscious brain and know what to say or do. They are often accurate in their assessments. You need them to be comfortable and confident in making these first impressions. Sometimes telling them to, "Shush and be quite." or "Be polite." will make them doubt their ability to access safe people from dangerous people. Teach them about strangers and what to do if they feel uncomfortable. One way to do this is to teach them how their body may go into Freeze Flight Flight. Most adults know about the flight, fight response, but they don’t know that the third fear response is freeze and that is often what children do in a scary situation such as a stranger approaching them. You can have fun with it and make it game so they not what to do. Kids typically freeze first. They need to learn to take action before the fear overwhelms them and they go into or stay in the freeze response.
As body language expert I can speak to corporate audiences about the accuracy of your immediate gut impressions. My audiences have shared funny and sometimes embarrassing stories about their toddlers accurate first impressions of "Aunt Martha" or That scary guy at the car place." Teach them to feel comfortable going with gut impressions of people. In that fraction of a second the child is reading the nonverbal cues in the primal brain before he or she can process the information in his or her conscious brain and know what to say or do. They are often accurate in their assessments. You need them to be comfortable and confident in making these first impressions. Sometimes telling them to, "Shush and be quite." or "Be polite." will make them doubt their ability to access safe people from dangerous people. Teach them about strangers and what to do if they feel uncomfortable. One way to do this is to teach them how their body may go into Freeze Flight Flight. Most adults know about the flight, fight response, but they don’t know that the third fear response is freeze and that is often what children do in a scary situation such as a stranger approaching them. You can have fun with it and make it game so they not what to do. Kids typically freeze first. They need to learn to take action before the fear overwhelms them and they go into or stay in the freeze response.
The practice of training children shout “stranger” and running is great one, because if they practice that routine enough it will be stored in their “muscle” memory (the brains strongest link to memory) and that is what they will do under stress.
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com
How to use matching body language to calm a crying baby
I am a body language expert. Baby cry to be heard and understood. They are not feeling good, hungry, tired, uncomfortable, in paid, lonely and bored and they want to communicate with us. They will go longer louder and more aggressive in there crying till they know you understand. If you know they are not in severe pain, one of the best tips to calming and soothing a baby is to match their crying. That is match the volume, intensity and rhythm of their crying as you look at them. In a brief moment you will know you have matched them and they will feel heard and understood. Typically they will soften and bring down the volume of their crying immediately or once you match you can slowly while making eye contact with the baby bring down the volume and intensity of your cry to softer and softer and then when it is a whisper smile and they baby will, unless they are in lots of pain soften their cry with you. I have used this technique for years. I have amazed my sisters by getting their children to stop crying in moments and even used it on airplanes to calm a seatmates crying child.
If you use this could you please link to my site?
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com
If you use this could you please link to my site?
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com
How to use matching body language to calm a crying baby
I am a body language expert. Baby cry to be heard and understood. They are not feeling good, hungry, tired, uncomfortable, in paid, lonely and bored and they want to communicate with us. They will go longer louder and more aggressive in there crying till they know you understand. If you know they are not in severe pain, one of the best tips to calming and soothing a baby is to match their crying. That is match the volume, intensity and rhythm of their crying as you look at them. In a brief moment you will know you have matched them and they will feel heard and understood. Typically they will soften and bring down the volume of their crying immediately or once you match you can slowly while making eye contact with the baby bring down the volume and intensity of your cry to softer and softer and then when it is a whisper smile and they baby will, unless they are in lots of pain soften their cry with you. I have used this technique for years. I have amazed my sisters by getting their children to stop crying in moments and even used it on airplanes to calm a seatmates crying child.
If you use this could you please link to my site?
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com
If you use this could you please link to my site?
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com
Reading a Match.com Photo, Body Language and Smiling
My little four legged friend, Bo the wonder dog was featured prominently in the verbiage of my Match.com profile. I talk about how Bo and I walk together 45 minutes every day and how he sits beside me at my desk while I work in my home office. When I got and email from one particular guy on Match.com I read his written profile and I was wary of going out with him. The life he described he let made him seem like a player. He sounded fun,but he didn't sound like the kind of guy I would want to date.
However, in one of his photos he was sitting with his arms around a big dog both the dog had big ole’ smiles on their faces. Because I am a body language expert (I have even did a research study last year on smiling and personality available on my website) and read photos I could read his smile and knew it was real. ( For the body language cues that reveal a true smile check my website.) I could tell from his photos as he interacted with others that this man had a passion for living. I since I also read photos of people with their dogs, I also knew this man really cared for the dog. The combination of the smile and the dog drew me to him. In fact, he looked so darn cute with the dog that I decided after he made several appeals for a date that I would go out with him.
As it turned out, He had lost his dog to his ex girlfriend in a break up. But from the first time he met Bo my wonder dog he has loved him. He plays with Bo and when Bo learned how to open the back French doors he started bragging on Bo to our friends. Bo is sensitive to some people foods. Spaghetti and popcorn and other human snacks are just not for Bo. Since my sweetie found that out he is first to pick up any fallen food scrap that falls on the kitchen floor when we are cooking and the first to jump off the couch to get a piece of popcorn that has fallen on the rug. He is incredibly loving with my dog Bo. Now my girlfriends tease me and say I should read photos for women of men they are interested in on Match.com
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com
However, in one of his photos he was sitting with his arms around a big dog both the dog had big ole’ smiles on their faces. Because I am a body language expert (I have even did a research study last year on smiling and personality available on my website) and read photos I could read his smile and knew it was real. ( For the body language cues that reveal a true smile check my website.) I could tell from his photos as he interacted with others that this man had a passion for living. I since I also read photos of people with their dogs, I also knew this man really cared for the dog. The combination of the smile and the dog drew me to him. In fact, he looked so darn cute with the dog that I decided after he made several appeals for a date that I would go out with him.
As it turned out, He had lost his dog to his ex girlfriend in a break up. But from the first time he met Bo my wonder dog he has loved him. He plays with Bo and when Bo learned how to open the back French doors he started bragging on Bo to our friends. Bo is sensitive to some people foods. Spaghetti and popcorn and other human snacks are just not for Bo. Since my sweetie found that out he is first to pick up any fallen food scrap that falls on the kitchen floor when we are cooking and the first to jump off the couch to get a piece of popcorn that has fallen on the rug. He is incredibly loving with my dog Bo. Now my girlfriends tease me and say I should read photos for women of men they are interested in on Match.com
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com
How Can You Tell If She is in to You?
Friday, March 27, 2009
How Can You Tell She is in To You. More of Health Magazine InterviewIf you’re physically attracted to a man, you might reach out with open palms or push your hair behind your ear with your palm facing out. That’s a signal to his brain that you’re open to flirting and seduction, Wood says. -Similarly, turning the upper part of your chest toward a person—what Wood calls “the heart window”—and pointing your toes toward someone show openness to being approached, and a desire to connect whether it’s a romantic interest or a potential new friend.
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.pattiwood.net/
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com/ .com
How Can You Tell She is in To You. More of Health Magazine InterviewIf you’re physically attracted to a man, you might reach out with open palms or push your hair behind your ear with your palm facing out. That’s a signal to his brain that you’re open to flirting and seduction, Wood says. -Similarly, turning the upper part of your chest toward a person—what Wood calls “the heart window”—and pointing your toes toward someone show openness to being approached, and a desire to connect whether it’s a romantic interest or a potential new friend.
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.pattiwood.net/
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com/ .com
Checking messages while you are with someone else, techno rudeness and body langauge.
I am rarely cynical in my blogs, In fact, I have been called a Pollyanna optimist many times. I also am truly blessed with the most incredible friends on the plane but if you have read my blog you know that. I say all this before I share a cynical story about a wonderful. I know it doesn't take me off the hook, but it does give the story a bit of build up..
So I am out with a friend for lunch the other day. A friend I have not seen for month I might add and five minutes after we sit down for lunch she is checking her Blackberry for messages from the guy friend she just had her real lunch with. ( She apologizes for eating ahead of our lunch she said she would have dessert with me. ) She continued to check her blackberry throughout lunch. I love my friend very much she is an amazing woman, but she is so brilliant her mind needs to be occupied at all times. So she often goes into what I call the techno haze. For me the unspoken subtext of checking text messages in front of friends is: "Somewhere else there is someone who I care about more than you. I want to know what they have to say more than what you have to say to me now." The idea of being present in the moment is disappearing faster than you can say, "Hey, I've got to take this call..." We stop being in the moment. We stop being present wit each other. We devalue our current situation, the friends and family around us, our surroundings and setting, for something going on somewhere else. Somewhere that seems far more interesting that what is right their in front of them.
I see it when I go into speak to an audience now and it makes me crazy. Audience's use to talk and interact with each other before the program started. I am not sure, but I think that is why people have meetings and conventions so people can share ideas and experiences, with the people in the room. Now everyone heads are down. People don't have their hearts open they have their laptops open. They don't shake hands they do hip checks of the blackberry's. They don't lean into their seat mate to say hello, they pull out their cell phone to take a call. They are not connecting to the people in the room they are somewhere else. Certainly they don't look like they are in that room to learn. I am so glad that I teach what I do the way I do. I have my audience's up out of their chairs right away, now I realize that if they have any gadgets they would fall off in the first audience interaction exercise. What do you think about the techno haze?
So I am out with a friend for lunch the other day. A friend I have not seen for month I might add and five minutes after we sit down for lunch she is checking her Blackberry for messages from the guy friend she just had her real lunch with. ( She apologizes for eating ahead of our lunch she said she would have dessert with me. ) She continued to check her blackberry throughout lunch. I love my friend very much she is an amazing woman, but she is so brilliant her mind needs to be occupied at all times. So she often goes into what I call the techno haze. For me the unspoken subtext of checking text messages in front of friends is: "Somewhere else there is someone who I care about more than you. I want to know what they have to say more than what you have to say to me now." The idea of being present in the moment is disappearing faster than you can say, "Hey, I've got to take this call..." We stop being in the moment. We stop being present wit each other. We devalue our current situation, the friends and family around us, our surroundings and setting, for something going on somewhere else. Somewhere that seems far more interesting that what is right their in front of them.
I see it when I go into speak to an audience now and it makes me crazy. Audience's use to talk and interact with each other before the program started. I am not sure, but I think that is why people have meetings and conventions so people can share ideas and experiences, with the people in the room. Now everyone heads are down. People don't have their hearts open they have their laptops open. They don't shake hands they do hip checks of the blackberry's. They don't lean into their seat mate to say hello, they pull out their cell phone to take a call. They are not connecting to the people in the room they are somewhere else. Certainly they don't look like they are in that room to learn. I am so glad that I teach what I do the way I do. I have my audience's up out of their chairs right away, now I realize that if they have any gadgets they would fall off in the first audience interaction exercise. What do you think about the techno haze?
banking, benifits of face to face human interaction, body language and banking
Today a journalist ask me if I still did my banking face to face. Here is my answer.
Since I opened my first bank account at 11, I have preferred to go into the bank and make my deposits and withdrawals. At 50 I still don’t use the bank machines to withdrawal cash. I don’t want to be known by my back account number and I don’t want to interact with a machine.
For over 20 years I knew all the cashiers’ by name and they new mine. When I came in we would visit for a minute would ask me how my last trip was, because they knew I fly out of town every week to speak and I would ask about their day and their family. Now that my bank has been bought a few times I know only know one teller. It is still worth to go in because she smiles and says my name and I smile back and we laugh about the fact that the two of us are always in a good mood. It makes my day.
I am a body language expert. Human interaction feeds us. It is sustenance. The smile, the eye contact of recognition, the light touch of hands across the counter, insures us we are seen, are known, that we exists. Each face to face interaction makes our lives rich. It also feeds the brain. If you have been reading my blogs or getting my newsletter you know that I love neuroscience and often talk about the brain body connection. Here is link to a website that discusses the research of Dr. Thomas Lewis who does research on face to face interaction and the brain. Headrush@typeface.com
"Part of the issue they've discovered in research is just how crucial the immediate response is. In still-face effect experiments with infants, for example, they learned that babies become immediately distressed when their mother maintains a "still face" that does not show any response/feedback with what the baby is doing. This makes sense, but what's really interesting is when they experimented with video. In some of these variations on the still-face effect, mothers and babies were on closed-circuit monitors where they could each see each other in real-time, through a television monitor. The babies were much happier when their mother's face was responsive to their own... less distressed than when the mother was right in front of the baby but maintaining a still face!
So, it was the responsiveness that mattered as well as the visual information. But just how quick does the feedback/response need to be? When they took the same experiment but introduced a short delay (I can't recall the amount -- but it was less than a few seconds), the babies became distressed again. Even a small degree of latency killed the feedback/interaction/responsiveness the baby's brains were expecting and needing.
Of course, we're adults, and not babies, but again--Dr. Lewis pointed out that we still have the same basic neurochemistry, and that no matter how much we practice communicating through text, the brain still finds it stressful. He indicated that the only population whose lives have improved through the use of text over face-to-face are those with a serious problem of shyness. In the brains of the shy, he said, a previously unknown face triggers a fear or anxiety response in their amygdala which doesn't happen in text.
He said that video chat is better than any other form of non face-to-face, because you get facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, AND real-time responsiveness. But--he said there's still a very unsettling feature for the brain because there's really no way for BOTH speakers to make eye contact! If you look at the camera, then the other person sees you looking at them, but then your experience suffers. So you can either watch the person you're chatting with which helps your experience but causes theirs to suffer (since you won't be looking into the camera, so to THEM you'll be looking down), OR you can look in the camera and improve their experience. But there's no way to have the camera right in your face, in a place where you can still look into the other person's eyes. Bottom line: You can see the camera or the person's eyes... but not both.
And even with the benefits of adding video to your chat, there's still a lot the scientists don't know about other factors surrounding human communication that can't be captured electronically. Smell, for example, might be far more powerful than we realize--even when below our conscious awareness. Headrush@typeface.com/creatingpassionateusesers
Since I opened my first bank account at 11, I have preferred to go into the bank and make my deposits and withdrawals. At 50 I still don’t use the bank machines to withdrawal cash. I don’t want to be known by my back account number and I don’t want to interact with a machine.
For over 20 years I knew all the cashiers’ by name and they new mine. When I came in we would visit for a minute would ask me how my last trip was, because they knew I fly out of town every week to speak and I would ask about their day and their family. Now that my bank has been bought a few times I know only know one teller. It is still worth to go in because she smiles and says my name and I smile back and we laugh about the fact that the two of us are always in a good mood. It makes my day.
I am a body language expert. Human interaction feeds us. It is sustenance. The smile, the eye contact of recognition, the light touch of hands across the counter, insures us we are seen, are known, that we exists. Each face to face interaction makes our lives rich. It also feeds the brain. If you have been reading my blogs or getting my newsletter you know that I love neuroscience and often talk about the brain body connection. Here is link to a website that discusses the research of Dr. Thomas Lewis who does research on face to face interaction and the brain. Headrush@typeface.com
"Part of the issue they've discovered in research is just how crucial the immediate response is. In still-face effect experiments with infants, for example, they learned that babies become immediately distressed when their mother maintains a "still face" that does not show any response/feedback with what the baby is doing. This makes sense, but what's really interesting is when they experimented with video. In some of these variations on the still-face effect, mothers and babies were on closed-circuit monitors where they could each see each other in real-time, through a television monitor. The babies were much happier when their mother's face was responsive to their own... less distressed than when the mother was right in front of the baby but maintaining a still face!
So, it was the responsiveness that mattered as well as the visual information. But just how quick does the feedback/response need to be? When they took the same experiment but introduced a short delay (I can't recall the amount -- but it was less than a few seconds), the babies became distressed again. Even a small degree of latency killed the feedback/interaction/responsiveness the baby's brains were expecting and needing.
Of course, we're adults, and not babies, but again--Dr. Lewis pointed out that we still have the same basic neurochemistry, and that no matter how much we practice communicating through text, the brain still finds it stressful. He indicated that the only population whose lives have improved through the use of text over face-to-face are those with a serious problem of shyness. In the brains of the shy, he said, a previously unknown face triggers a fear or anxiety response in their amygdala which doesn't happen in text.
He said that video chat is better than any other form of non face-to-face, because you get facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, AND real-time responsiveness. But--he said there's still a very unsettling feature for the brain because there's really no way for BOTH speakers to make eye contact! If you look at the camera, then the other person sees you looking at them, but then your experience suffers. So you can either watch the person you're chatting with which helps your experience but causes theirs to suffer (since you won't be looking into the camera, so to THEM you'll be looking down), OR you can look in the camera and improve their experience. But there's no way to have the camera right in your face, in a place where you can still look into the other person's eyes. Bottom line: You can see the camera or the person's eyes... but not both.
And even with the benefits of adding video to your chat, there's still a lot the scientists don't know about other factors surrounding human communication that can't be captured electronically. Smell, for example, might be far more powerful than we realize--even when below our conscious awareness. Headrush@typeface.com/creatingpassionateusesers
Angelina and Brad body language
I did a very interesting piece for this weeks In Touch magazine. They sent me photo's of Angelina with her brother and with Brad and had me compare her body language with her brother with her body language with Brad. As you might have noticed at least in Public she is more intimate with her brother than with Brad. Check out the article on page 31 of this weeks issue.
How body language reflects sadness and happiness
Another excerpt from Health Magazine interview of body language. "When you’re feeling happy and confident, your body automatically lifts up, Wood says. “You may lift your head, shoulders, and or chest, and you might find yourself pushing it for a moment on the balls of your feet. -On the other hand, if you’re depressed or experiencing low self-esteem, the body goes down. Your shoulders and head may come down, You might look down when you talk, your facial expressions may go down and you may bend slightly at the knees , and gestures downward, or not at all and your voice may go down in volume. People typically think,"My body reflects my feelings.", but the because of the mind-body connection it is also true that your body can change your feelings. -One quick way to give yourself a boost: Lift up your head, bring your shoulders back, sit up, and smile. It can change your mood in less than a fraction of a second, Wood says.
arm crossing
Here are notes from an interview that I did with Health Magazine.
-“Though, there are over sixty different reasons that may motivate you to cross your arms from anger and stress to the temperature in the room. When some sees you crossing your arms he or she tends to think you’re are keeping something inside or someone out, Wood says. We don’t like that barrier and see it as a defensive posture.-If you’re shy, you may unconsciously do this at a party to keep others from approaching. Or if you disagree with someone at work, you might cross your arms as a way of holding back your real opinion. -The position makes you feel protected, but it also shuts other people out. So if you’re in a social situation, let your arms hang down by your sides or use them to gesture to appear more approachable.
-“Though, there are over sixty different reasons that may motivate you to cross your arms from anger and stress to the temperature in the room. When some sees you crossing your arms he or she tends to think you’re are keeping something inside or someone out, Wood says. We don’t like that barrier and see it as a defensive posture.-If you’re shy, you may unconsciously do this at a party to keep others from approaching. Or if you disagree with someone at work, you might cross your arms as a way of holding back your real opinion. -The position makes you feel protected, but it also shuts other people out. So if you’re in a social situation, let your arms hang down by your sides or use them to gesture to appear more approachable.
Body Language for power
Here are some notes from Health magazine for an article that will apear in few months.
Making your body compact by doing things like keeping your arms close to your side, or folding them in your lap or crossing your legs tightly can may you appear not merely closed, but subordinate.-When you take up less space , you may appear and feel less powerful, and people may treat you that way, says Patti Wood, MA a body language expert in Atlanta, Georgia. -When you want to command respect, whether it’s from a co-worker or your teen, Patti says. “..take up a little more space. Stand up straight and relaxed, with your feet six to seven inches
apart if you’re a woman more if you are a man.”
Making your body compact by doing things like keeping your arms close to your side, or folding them in your lap or crossing your legs tightly can may you appear not merely closed, but subordinate.-When you take up less space , you may appear and feel less powerful, and people may treat you that way, says Patti Wood, MA a body language expert in Atlanta, Georgia. -When you want to command respect, whether it’s from a co-worker or your teen, Patti says. “..take up a little more space. Stand up straight and relaxed, with your feet six to seven inches
apart if you’re a woman more if you are a man.”
Why men love to play golf, a body language secreat
I responded to a media sour from Golf Magazine who was asking for the health benefits of playing golf. I gave them a rather unusual mental health benefit. The benefit of relationship bonding that comes to men when they sit in a golf cart side by side togther for a day of golf.
As a body language expert and researcher for the last 27 years I love to share this fact. Men, as a gender prefer to sit side by side with each other. Wired in the brain primal survival instinct. When the front of their bodies are not vulnerable It makes them feel safe. Think of men going into battle together side by side. Men will automatically feel bonded when they interact at a table or counter or bar when they sit side by side. Research shows that men will also increase their self disclosure with one another when sitting in this position. Let's go back to the golf example. When men sit in golf cart they are sitting side by side and less than 14 inches apart from one another. That is what researchers call the "intimate" zone of space. So men are more likely not only self disclose, but also to feel closer and more intimate with one another siting with each other on a golf care. Therefore they will be more likely to share personal more intimate information. Now add the time dimension. The longer men are together side to side in an intimate zone of space, ie a golf cart for 18 holes of golf which typically takes all day or a minimum of three hours you have a scientific recipe for men to bond that is really unique to the sport of golf.
As a body language expert and researcher for the last 27 years I love to share this fact. Men, as a gender prefer to sit side by side with each other. Wired in the brain primal survival instinct. When the front of their bodies are not vulnerable It makes them feel safe. Think of men going into battle together side by side. Men will automatically feel bonded when they interact at a table or counter or bar when they sit side by side. Research shows that men will also increase their self disclosure with one another when sitting in this position. Let's go back to the golf example. When men sit in golf cart they are sitting side by side and less than 14 inches apart from one another. That is what researchers call the "intimate" zone of space. So men are more likely not only self disclose, but also to feel closer and more intimate with one another siting with each other on a golf care. Therefore they will be more likely to share personal more intimate information. Now add the time dimension. The longer men are together side to side in an intimate zone of space, ie a golf cart for 18 holes of golf which typically takes all day or a minimum of three hours you have a scientific recipe for men to bond that is really unique to the sport of golf.
Why people should gesture when speaking.
A former audience member asked the following questions recently, "What's the protocol when someone uses their hands when they are speaking?" "Is this in poor taste!" "Do you have any literature out there on this type of body language?" I sent her a chapter from my success signals book to explain why gesturing to emphasize what you are saying can help your speak more eloquently and speak more from your heart. Here is my Success Signals book excerpt.
Gesturing can help you think and speak from your heart. When you gesture you show your personality to your others. Why? Because your arms come out from your heart they show how open and receptive you are to everyone you meet and interact with, so when you open your hands wide and hold them high you show you are open, when you hide them behind your back or glue them to your sides you show you are not willing to embrace the person or situation your in. Personality tests say that the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use your arms and the more you gesture broadly. The quieter and more introverted the less you move your arms away from your body. How do you gesture and what does it say about you?
Understanding gestures can help you increase your sales they help you think and help you read what other people are thinking. The first thing they do it show your personality to your prospect. Because your arms come out from your heart they show how open and receptive you are to everyone you meet and interact with, so when you open your hands wide and hold them high you show you are open to your prospect when hide them behind your back or glue them to your sides you show you are not willing to embrace the person or situation your in. Personality tests say that the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use your arms and the more you gesture broadly. The quieter and more introverted the less you move your arms away from your body. How do you gesture and what does it say about you?
We use more gestures when we’re excited or trying to communicate a difficult message. There are more than 100,000 possible hand signals using different combinations of postures, arm, and wrist or finger movements. No wonder we keep on doing that crazy hand jive! As a professional speaker, I use an enormous number of gestures. Research says lecturers make twice as many hand gestures as people who are talking one-on-one. Gesturing actually helps you access information in your brain and helps you form your messages. Think of gesturing as the way you pull out the file cabinet's in your brain to search for information.
To read more you can purchase my body language book at www.PattiWood.net by clicking on products.
Gesturing can help you think and speak from your heart. When you gesture you show your personality to your others. Why? Because your arms come out from your heart they show how open and receptive you are to everyone you meet and interact with, so when you open your hands wide and hold them high you show you are open, when you hide them behind your back or glue them to your sides you show you are not willing to embrace the person or situation your in. Personality tests say that the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use your arms and the more you gesture broadly. The quieter and more introverted the less you move your arms away from your body. How do you gesture and what does it say about you?
Understanding gestures can help you increase your sales they help you think and help you read what other people are thinking. The first thing they do it show your personality to your prospect. Because your arms come out from your heart they show how open and receptive you are to everyone you meet and interact with, so when you open your hands wide and hold them high you show you are open to your prospect when hide them behind your back or glue them to your sides you show you are not willing to embrace the person or situation your in. Personality tests say that the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use your arms and the more you gesture broadly. The quieter and more introverted the less you move your arms away from your body. How do you gesture and what does it say about you?
We use more gestures when we’re excited or trying to communicate a difficult message. There are more than 100,000 possible hand signals using different combinations of postures, arm, and wrist or finger movements. No wonder we keep on doing that crazy hand jive! As a professional speaker, I use an enormous number of gestures. Research says lecturers make twice as many hand gestures as people who are talking one-on-one. Gesturing actually helps you access information in your brain and helps you form your messages. Think of gesturing as the way you pull out the file cabinet's in your brain to search for information.
To read more you can purchase my body language book at www.PattiWood.net by clicking on products.
Body Language Tools to Build Confidence in Job Interviews
I just responded to a media request for tools to "... prepare people mentally to go into the interview and do the best they can. With the job market in the shape it is in now, people who have an interview are extremely lucky and they cannot afford to become stressed or "psyched out" before talking to a potential employer. I responded.
I am a body language expert I just had a coaching session with a client where we used some of my confidence building tools for job interviews.
One powerful technique to gain confidence and keep yourself from getting stressed during and interview is to imagine the emotions you want the interviewer to have about you and deliver the body language that elicits those emotions. For my client today the emotion he wanted the interviewer to feel was excitement. So you he said the word excitement and then moved and held his body up and leaned forward and gestured as he shared his positive work experiences . He smiled and even laughed as he relayed one particular story. He didn't feel excited in the moment before he started moving his body, he felt afraid. But he said, "It was weird as soon as I brought my shoulders back and smiled and put some energy in my voice I got it sighted." "It felt like I had just had a cup of Starbucks" So go into your interview showing excitement with up, energetic nonverbal behavior. Do know, of course that there are caveats to excitement being the appropriate response. But overall your demeanor can illicit the appropriate emotion for the situation.
A second techniques to build confidence is to move and hold your body “UP!” I created the label UP. to describe all upward posture and movements and facial expressions such as, head held up, gestures with up motions. When we are happy are body naturally moves up and holds itself up. When you hold or move your body the way you would like to feel the posture actually sends a message to the brain, “Hey I am feeling great, positive and up.” As you hold your body the little pharmacy in your brain starts producing the chemicals that match that state, (in as little as a 40th of a second.) and pumps them into your body and you begin to feel up. The combination of your up posture and movement up and chemical up state is felt by the interviewer. They start to give you attentive nonverbal cues and that makes you feel more confident. I call this the fake it till you make it technique. You only have to fake it for a fraction of a second before it actually effects how you feel.
A third tool is to choose a word that expresses how you would like to feel in your interview and then get into a posture that matches it. So if your word is CONFIDENT your put your body in an open position, arms away from your body, legs uncrossed shoulder back heart forward, extending eye-contact for as long as three seconds, and make your voice going down at the end of sentences. (We tend to tighten the vocal chords when we are tense and the high, sometimes screechy sound is not powerful. When we use positive words we can alter how are brain functions by increasing cognitive reasoning and strengthening areas in our frontal lobes. Using postie words in your life more than negative ones can kick-start the motivational centers of the brain, propelling them to action.
And a forth techniques is to use that same magic word to replace any negative thoughts you have about the interview. For example, replace the though, “ I am going to mess up is and forget what to say with your magic word. “I am going to be CONFIDENT and remember what I want to say.”
So imagine confidence and use the word to motivate yourself and move up to be more confident!
E-mail Patti - Patti@PattiWood.net
I am a body language expert I just had a coaching session with a client where we used some of my confidence building tools for job interviews.
One powerful technique to gain confidence and keep yourself from getting stressed during and interview is to imagine the emotions you want the interviewer to have about you and deliver the body language that elicits those emotions. For my client today the emotion he wanted the interviewer to feel was excitement. So you he said the word excitement and then moved and held his body up and leaned forward and gestured as he shared his positive work experiences . He smiled and even laughed as he relayed one particular story. He didn't feel excited in the moment before he started moving his body, he felt afraid. But he said, "It was weird as soon as I brought my shoulders back and smiled and put some energy in my voice I got it sighted." "It felt like I had just had a cup of Starbucks" So go into your interview showing excitement with up, energetic nonverbal behavior. Do know, of course that there are caveats to excitement being the appropriate response. But overall your demeanor can illicit the appropriate emotion for the situation.
A second techniques to build confidence is to move and hold your body “UP!” I created the label UP. to describe all upward posture and movements and facial expressions such as, head held up, gestures with up motions. When we are happy are body naturally moves up and holds itself up. When you hold or move your body the way you would like to feel the posture actually sends a message to the brain, “Hey I am feeling great, positive and up.” As you hold your body the little pharmacy in your brain starts producing the chemicals that match that state, (in as little as a 40th of a second.) and pumps them into your body and you begin to feel up. The combination of your up posture and movement up and chemical up state is felt by the interviewer. They start to give you attentive nonverbal cues and that makes you feel more confident. I call this the fake it till you make it technique. You only have to fake it for a fraction of a second before it actually effects how you feel.
A third tool is to choose a word that expresses how you would like to feel in your interview and then get into a posture that matches it. So if your word is CONFIDENT your put your body in an open position, arms away from your body, legs uncrossed shoulder back heart forward, extending eye-contact for as long as three seconds, and make your voice going down at the end of sentences. (We tend to tighten the vocal chords when we are tense and the high, sometimes screechy sound is not powerful. When we use positive words we can alter how are brain functions by increasing cognitive reasoning and strengthening areas in our frontal lobes. Using postie words in your life more than negative ones can kick-start the motivational centers of the brain, propelling them to action.
And a forth techniques is to use that same magic word to replace any negative thoughts you have about the interview. For example, replace the though, “ I am going to mess up is and forget what to say with your magic word. “I am going to be CONFIDENT and remember what I want to say.”
So imagine confidence and use the word to motivate yourself and move up to be more confident!
E-mail Patti - Patti@PattiWood.net
Body Language of Ed Westwick will be in In Touch Weekly
Today I was asked by In Touch weekly magazine to read the body language of Ed Westwick (the guy on the right) He ended his ended his “bromance” with co-star Chace Crawford (best friend/roomate) and is hanging out with another guy at a basketball game. Tune in Wednesday for the read.
What is Barbie's middle and last name?
My friend Mark just emailed me that Mattel's Barbie was "born" Barbie Millicent Roberts on March 9, 1959. This is important information. Read posts I wrote today on her attractiveness.
Barbie's Birthday and why men are attracted to Barbie's hour glass shape.
Barbie’s Birthday –Why girls and woman buy Barbie’s dolls and Why men our drawn to her hourglass figure.
Why are men attracted to the hourglass shape? Why do men like Barbies girls?
Large-breasted, narrow-waisted women have the highest reproductive potential, according to the newest research. Therefore, it is not a surprise that men are attracted to women with an hourglass shape. The attraction has a biological justification. If men choose to a woman with an hourglass shape they increase the chance that they will bear a child with her. (OK, perhaps not on the top of men's conscious minds when they are out cruising at a bar, put their primal wiring is working at the subconscious level. Their attraction has a biological justification. Poor men they just can’t help themselves. They love Barbie.
The research on the hour glass shape attraction shows that woman with a relatively low waist-to-hip ratio and large breasts had about 30 per cent higher levels of the female reproductive hormone estradiol than do women with other combinations of body shapes. (Research by Dr. Grazyna Jasienska, at Jagiellonian University in Krakow)
Barbie curves are now justified by science.
Writing in Proceedings B, the researchers led by Dr Grazyna Jasienska of Harvard University, said the hourglass figure was popular in Western cultures, but not in others across the world. (Just tell me where a short woman with a big tummy is attractive so I know where to move.)
She said men in non-Western societies did not seem to favor women with hourglass figures, and broader figures, indicating good nutritional status, were considered most attractive. (I think I show good nutritional status, mint thin Girl Scout cookies are very nutritious.)
However, in Western societies, the cultural icon of Barbie as a symbol of female beauty seems to have some biological grounding," added Dr Jasienska.
In Europeans it may well be that the hourglass body shape for women is more highly correlated with fecundity ( ability to get pregnant.) than is the case with other groups and that this is due to average genetic differences. There may have been co-evolution of the hourglass body shape as more fecund along with genetic changes that increased the attraction to that body shape.
The higher level of estradiol translates into 3 times higher likelihood to get pregnant.
"If there are 30 per cent higher levels, it means they are roughly three times more likely to get pregnant," Jasienska, a human biologist, told New Scientist.
The experts tell us that the physical features and characteristics considered to be "beautiful" are in fact subconscious indicators of fertility and good health, while some other features and characteristics are considered”unattractive" because they render a person less fertile or more susceptible to disease and parasite assaults. For example, a woman with an oestrogenized small chin and a small waist-to-hip ratio appears to be beautiful because these are physical features that indicate good fertility, childbearing ability and general health. In addition, of course a man has reciprocal features to indicate his facility to sire healthy children, and (apparently less importantly) support them and the mother.
Judging beauty involves looking at another person and subconsciously figuring out whether you want your children to carry that person's genes. We judge each other by nonverbal rules that we're often not even aware of at the conscious level. We may consciously admire Heidi Klum’s legs, but we're also viscerally attuned to small variations in the size and symmetry of facial bones and the placement of weight on the body.
Research correlates the physical attraction of human males to human females to certain basic physical features, regardless of culture. These include:
· signs of youthfulness (vigor, flexibility, bounciness, smooth skin);
· signs of health (clear skin, lack of disease, physical fitness);
· a good figure with an optimal hip-waist ratio and generous bust;
· facial and body symmetry;
· An infant like face.
The possession of beautiful characteristics by a woman acts as a 'certification of biological quality', offering her a significant mating advantage over other women in the competition for partners and reproduction - historically and today. All men are innately attracted to a beautiful woman, and she is thus more likely to be able to attract and select a high quality, high status, man as her mate - but women can often be pragmatic and he may not be the most beautiful (aka most handsome and physically attractive) partner available. It can be argued that women have an inherent ruthless streak that urges them to seek out the most beautiful mate to sire her children, and separately (and if necessary deceitfully) a high value partner who will best look after her and her children. Modern DNA testing is certainly revealing in many instances a woman's children are actually be sired by another, presumably often more "beautiful" man, than their husband - one study found that 1 in 8 of the children tested were probably calling the wrong man "Daddy"!
Why are men attracted to the hourglass shape? Why do men like Barbies girls?
Large-breasted, narrow-waisted women have the highest reproductive potential, according to the newest research. Therefore, it is not a surprise that men are attracted to women with an hourglass shape. The attraction has a biological justification. If men choose to a woman with an hourglass shape they increase the chance that they will bear a child with her. (OK, perhaps not on the top of men's conscious minds when they are out cruising at a bar, put their primal wiring is working at the subconscious level. Their attraction has a biological justification. Poor men they just can’t help themselves. They love Barbie.
The research on the hour glass shape attraction shows that woman with a relatively low waist-to-hip ratio and large breasts had about 30 per cent higher levels of the female reproductive hormone estradiol than do women with other combinations of body shapes. (Research by Dr. Grazyna Jasienska, at Jagiellonian University in Krakow)
Barbie curves are now justified by science.
Writing in Proceedings B, the researchers led by Dr Grazyna Jasienska of Harvard University, said the hourglass figure was popular in Western cultures, but not in others across the world. (Just tell me where a short woman with a big tummy is attractive so I know where to move.)
She said men in non-Western societies did not seem to favor women with hourglass figures, and broader figures, indicating good nutritional status, were considered most attractive. (I think I show good nutritional status, mint thin Girl Scout cookies are very nutritious.)
However, in Western societies, the cultural icon of Barbie as a symbol of female beauty seems to have some biological grounding," added Dr Jasienska.
In Europeans it may well be that the hourglass body shape for women is more highly correlated with fecundity ( ability to get pregnant.) than is the case with other groups and that this is due to average genetic differences. There may have been co-evolution of the hourglass body shape as more fecund along with genetic changes that increased the attraction to that body shape.
The higher level of estradiol translates into 3 times higher likelihood to get pregnant.
"If there are 30 per cent higher levels, it means they are roughly three times more likely to get pregnant," Jasienska, a human biologist, told New Scientist.
The experts tell us that the physical features and characteristics considered to be "beautiful" are in fact subconscious indicators of fertility and good health, while some other features and characteristics are considered”unattractive" because they render a person less fertile or more susceptible to disease and parasite assaults. For example, a woman with an oestrogenized small chin and a small waist-to-hip ratio appears to be beautiful because these are physical features that indicate good fertility, childbearing ability and general health. In addition, of course a man has reciprocal features to indicate his facility to sire healthy children, and (apparently less importantly) support them and the mother.
Judging beauty involves looking at another person and subconsciously figuring out whether you want your children to carry that person's genes. We judge each other by nonverbal rules that we're often not even aware of at the conscious level. We may consciously admire Heidi Klum’s legs, but we're also viscerally attuned to small variations in the size and symmetry of facial bones and the placement of weight on the body.
Research correlates the physical attraction of human males to human females to certain basic physical features, regardless of culture. These include:
· signs of youthfulness (vigor, flexibility, bounciness, smooth skin);
· signs of health (clear skin, lack of disease, physical fitness);
· a good figure with an optimal hip-waist ratio and generous bust;
· facial and body symmetry;
· An infant like face.
The possession of beautiful characteristics by a woman acts as a 'certification of biological quality', offering her a significant mating advantage over other women in the competition for partners and reproduction - historically and today. All men are innately attracted to a beautiful woman, and she is thus more likely to be able to attract and select a high quality, high status, man as her mate - but women can often be pragmatic and he may not be the most beautiful (aka most handsome and physically attractive) partner available. It can be argued that women have an inherent ruthless streak that urges them to seek out the most beautiful mate to sire her children, and separately (and if necessary deceitfully) a high value partner who will best look after her and her children. Modern DNA testing is certainly revealing in many instances a woman's children are actually be sired by another, presumably often more "beautiful" man, than their husband - one study found that 1 in 8 of the children tested were probably calling the wrong man "Daddy"!
Coaching to reduce Social Anxiety disorder
Most of you know that I both a professional speaker and a one on one coach. I have had so many clients in the last few years that are dealing with social anxiety issues. What does that mean. Well just like public speaking anxiety that makes you fearful before and or during speeches social anxiety disorder means that are are fearful before and or during social interactions. I had a Friend years ago who's anxiety was so high he was uncomfortable ordering a pizza over the phone. It makes sense that so many people are dealing with this stress. So many young people are not getting the normal practice of face to face interactions growing up. So in coaching I have several methods to deal directly with the clients fear anxiety and then we break down all the parts of the social interactions that the client has trouble with and we practice them and the client does fun doable homework projects in the real world until he or she is super comfortable. I love this work. The clients are always surprised at how much fun the coaching is. We laugh a lot and I am so pleased that we have the time for focused work so that even in one session the client can accomplish so much and I get to see the shift in their confidence and actual changes in their communication. I not sure if this is a normal blog entry, but I have had some great coaching sessions lately and I am so happy doing this work I wanted to ramble a bit about it. I think another time I will explain some of the tools I use int the coaching.
Openess, Approachablitly, body language and attraction
Openness,
Approachability, Body Language and Attraction
Here are some questions I recently answered as part of an
article for Health magazine
1.
We
talked about how women have a smaller stance and that it can make people think
you're a doormat.
That
is not a doormat stance just a regular stance. It simply means when women stand
with their feet less than five inches apart that they look a little less
powerful and are physically just easier to push over because their stance is
typically not as broad.
2.
How
would you recommend standing if you want to command respect, say with a
co-worker or with a teen?
Knowing
there is a fine line between respect and aggression I would say 6 to 8 inches
apart to give information and commands For example, should you stand up
straight or plant your feet a certain width apart.
3.
If you
notice that you cross your arms as a way of keeping people out, is there
another way you can hold your arms or hands that's more approachable, like
behind your back or something like that?
First
there are over 60 different ways of crossing your arms and reasons for all of
them. If you would like to look and feel approachable you want your hands to be
viewable. Think cave man brain, we want to make sure the person we approach is
not armed. Also you ideally want to show the palms of your hands, gesture with
open hand and keep the center of your body where your heart lies open or
unblocked. If your nervous you can rest an arm at your side and touch your
fingers together to give yourself an security anchor or briefly put on hand in
your pocket.
4.
What
if you notice that you cross your arms to hold in emotions or thoughts, is
there anything you can do with your body to help fix that? Sometimes you close
your arms down, just like a computer shuts down when it is on overload. You
fold your arms because you don’t want to take in and or give out more
information and you need to shut down to process it. When you’re ready you can
open your arms to accept more information. One tip if you are bored at a
meeting is to rest your full arms on the table reaching out toward the speaker
in a symbolic reach and give them your eye contact and smile. Research
indicates that audience’s energy and attention can improve the speaker’s
animation.
5.
You
said the body often lifts up when someone is happy. If you're depressed and you
notice that your body is going downward, can sitting up straight or lifting
your head actually lift your mood (the same way that smiling when you’re sad
can make you feel better)? Any time you change your body language and
paralanguage you are potentially changing the chemicals that are being sent
into your body. Lifting up your head, bringing your shoulders back, sitting up
and smiling can change your mood in less than a fraction of a second. I have
quite a bit of research on that and I am especially intrigued with the research
on smiling.
6.
We
talked about several signs that show physical attraction. These are opening or approach me signals rather
than pure attraction signals such as opening your palms or heart window to
someone.
7.
Is
there some other type of body language that might show openness to someone like
a new friend or a potential business partner? Turning your feet towards then.
Woman sometimes when they are attracted tilt their head and play with their
hair, while showing the palm. Guys sometimes increase their stance and puff up
their chest.
Visit the website at http://www.pattiwood.net
Tango dance scene to show matcing and mirroring.
If you love isopraxisim and matching and mirroring watch the formalized version of it in this dance scene from tango. It's absolutely wonderful.
Tango - Larroca
June 20, 2008, 09:24 AM
Wonderful dance sequence from the 1998 film 'Tango' directed by Carlos Saura and featuring music by Lalo Schiffrin. http://www.ModernJiveGermany.com
Tango - Larroca
June 20, 2008, 09:24 AM
Wonderful dance sequence from the 1998 film 'Tango' directed by Carlos Saura and featuring music by Lalo Schiffrin. http://www.ModernJiveGermany.com
Tips for Preventing Bad Breath.
I have other posts about the social consequences of bad breath here are tips to beat it.
I am a body language expert. I know it sounds funny, but I am also known as an expert on chewing behavior as a result of my research as the spokes person for Wrigley’s Spearmint chewing gum and an expert on smiling from my research as the National Spokes person for the Natural dentist tooth care products. As a result of my research, I know a lot about bad breath and mouth issues.
Your mother probably told you to chew with your mouth closed, but she may not have added that chewing actually helps you release enzymes that help clean your mouth. To keep your teeth and breath clean you should chew all you food thoroughly. If your a late night snacker, like me, make sure you chew something crunchy like celery before you go to bed or have a nice long conversation with someone. Keep that mouth moving. For late night eating especially, foods like fruit and cheese are much better for your teeth than sticky candy and other sweets. In fact, sweet,sticky, foods like dried fruit should really only be eaten with a meal, not as a between meal snack. It sticks on your teeth and because you don’t have a full meal of chewing the bacteria builds up and causes bad breath. After you eat, bacteria in your mouth feeds off the food left on your teeth. This is one of the major causes of bad breath. In addition this bacteria forms acids which attack tooth enamel and cause tooth decay. Saliva is your body's natural defense against tooth decay. When you chew your mouth makes lots of saliva which helps wash the acids and food particles away more quickly to reduce the attack on your teeth and help prevent tooth decay.
Three recommendations. Chew healthy sugar free gum after a meal or sticky snack or sugary beverage. If you’re out at a restaurant take a big swig of water and swish it around your mouth to loosen food off your teeth and then swallow. This may sound silly, but research shows it really does help considerably. If your self conscious about swishing water at the table, you can even hide the tooth swishing behind a napkin or visit the restroom.
Finally, if your lucky enough to be at a nice restaurant ask for a sprig or parsley and chew on it. The leaves of fresh parsley are rich in chlorophyll and act as a powerful neutralizer of bad breath. Chlorophyll is an anti-mutagen that acts as a very good deodorizer. It is especially good at reducing garlic-odor.Chewing on parsley sprigs dipped in vinegar also helps combat bad breath. This when chewed and swallowed and helps in improving the digestion. The sprigs of Parsley when swallowed also help in reducing intestinal gases that may further reduce bad breath. There you go
I am a body language expert. I know it sounds funny, but I am also known as an expert on chewing behavior as a result of my research as the spokes person for Wrigley’s Spearmint chewing gum and an expert on smiling from my research as the National Spokes person for the Natural dentist tooth care products. As a result of my research, I know a lot about bad breath and mouth issues.
Your mother probably told you to chew with your mouth closed, but she may not have added that chewing actually helps you release enzymes that help clean your mouth. To keep your teeth and breath clean you should chew all you food thoroughly. If your a late night snacker, like me, make sure you chew something crunchy like celery before you go to bed or have a nice long conversation with someone. Keep that mouth moving. For late night eating especially, foods like fruit and cheese are much better for your teeth than sticky candy and other sweets. In fact, sweet,sticky, foods like dried fruit should really only be eaten with a meal, not as a between meal snack. It sticks on your teeth and because you don’t have a full meal of chewing the bacteria builds up and causes bad breath. After you eat, bacteria in your mouth feeds off the food left on your teeth. This is one of the major causes of bad breath. In addition this bacteria forms acids which attack tooth enamel and cause tooth decay. Saliva is your body's natural defense against tooth decay. When you chew your mouth makes lots of saliva which helps wash the acids and food particles away more quickly to reduce the attack on your teeth and help prevent tooth decay.
Three recommendations. Chew healthy sugar free gum after a meal or sticky snack or sugary beverage. If you’re out at a restaurant take a big swig of water and swish it around your mouth to loosen food off your teeth and then swallow. This may sound silly, but research shows it really does help considerably. If your self conscious about swishing water at the table, you can even hide the tooth swishing behind a napkin or visit the restroom.
Finally, if your lucky enough to be at a nice restaurant ask for a sprig or parsley and chew on it. The leaves of fresh parsley are rich in chlorophyll and act as a powerful neutralizer of bad breath. Chlorophyll is an anti-mutagen that acts as a very good deodorizer. It is especially good at reducing garlic-odor.Chewing on parsley sprigs dipped in vinegar also helps combat bad breath. This when chewed and swallowed and helps in improving the digestion. The sprigs of Parsley when swallowed also help in reducing intestinal gases that may further reduce bad breath. There you go
Greeting and Goodbye touch rituals for couples
I was asked by a journalist to give some body language rituals for couples. Here is the first touch ritual too keep couples together and happy.
Always make a loving ritual of hello’s and goodbyes. That means coming from wherever you are in the house to greet your spouse with a kiss and or a hug hello when they come home. Go to them immediately, even if you are on the phone, cooking, or online. By immediately going towards each other to touch, your are communicating to your partner that he or she is the most important thing to you. You are saying nonverbally, "You come first." Greetings are designed to let someone who has left the tribal cave for the day know everything is safe in the home and they are welcome back in. It is wired into our primal brains that we should be on guard until we are warmly welcomed into a space. If fact, couples are more likely to argue later if there wasn’t a warm welcome home. In addition, kissing and or hugging goodbye symbolically says, "I leave you with love." With a touch goodbye you anchor to your mate. So the last memory of he has of leaving the home is that he is y surrounded by love. Touching on greeting and with goodbyes are small rituals with a big impact.
Always make a loving ritual of hello’s and goodbyes. That means coming from wherever you are in the house to greet your spouse with a kiss and or a hug hello when they come home. Go to them immediately, even if you are on the phone, cooking, or online. By immediately going towards each other to touch, your are communicating to your partner that he or she is the most important thing to you. You are saying nonverbally, "You come first." Greetings are designed to let someone who has left the tribal cave for the day know everything is safe in the home and they are welcome back in. It is wired into our primal brains that we should be on guard until we are warmly welcomed into a space. If fact, couples are more likely to argue later if there wasn’t a warm welcome home. In addition, kissing and or hugging goodbye symbolically says, "I leave you with love." With a touch goodbye you anchor to your mate. So the last memory of he has of leaving the home is that he is y surrounded by love. Touching on greeting and with goodbyes are small rituals with a big impact.
Crazy dance at liverpool train station in london. t mobile
If you haven't watched the huge dance experience at Liverpool station in London sponsored by t mobile Click below.
It is a beautiful example of isoprazism that is a pull towards the same energy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQ3d3KigPQM
Isn't it great. I just love how people dancing makes you move and want to dance as well. I don't want to take photos of the experience on my phone, I want to be in the experience and live it myself.
Recorded live at Liverpool station in London
And the video of the back story:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVFNM8f9WnI
It is a beautiful example of isoprazism that is a pull towards the same energy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQ3d3KigPQM
Isn't it great. I just love how people dancing makes you move and want to dance as well. I don't want to take photos of the experience on my phone, I want to be in the experience and live it myself.
Recorded live at Liverpool station in London
And the video of the back story:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVFNM8f9WnI
Rush Limbaugh has a new first impression
I was eating lunch today with my friend Dominic. All of sudden his eyes opened wide as he looked up at the TV on the wall of the restaurant and said, "What is Rush Limbaugh wearing!"
I turned around to find the conservative, red tie wearing, voice of the far right wearing black pants and a black shirt with the buttons open at the top and a large V or skin showing! Oh my goodness! Who is this guy?, and what has he done with his conservative "branding."
I just checked out his website and sure enough there are tons of photos of Rush in his new getup. I guess as Rush says, "He hopes Obama doesn't do well." he wants to represent they guy riding into town wearing the black hat rather than the white one. What a change of image. Rush Limbaugh looking like a mafia Donn. As a media coach I am stunned. Perhaps all black attire is his way of showing he is in morning for our economy and current president and the democratic majority of the house. And hum let me see, maybe his more casual dress is to appeal to all his radio listeners who are at home because they are out of work. Maybe his next getup will be a bathrobe. No the mafia fits best. He is out to look powerful hip and intimidating. I am not a Limbaugh fan...but I am so intrigued by this big image makeover. Just button up a bit though big guy.
I turned around to find the conservative, red tie wearing, voice of the far right wearing black pants and a black shirt with the buttons open at the top and a large V or skin showing! Oh my goodness! Who is this guy?, and what has he done with his conservative "branding."
I just checked out his website and sure enough there are tons of photos of Rush in his new getup. I guess as Rush says, "He hopes Obama doesn't do well." he wants to represent they guy riding into town wearing the black hat rather than the white one. What a change of image. Rush Limbaugh looking like a mafia Donn. As a media coach I am stunned. Perhaps all black attire is his way of showing he is in morning for our economy and current president and the democratic majority of the house. And hum let me see, maybe his more casual dress is to appeal to all his radio listeners who are at home because they are out of work. Maybe his next getup will be a bathrobe. No the mafia fits best. He is out to look powerful hip and intimidating. I am not a Limbaugh fan...but I am so intrigued by this big image makeover. Just button up a bit though big guy.
What body language does every happy couple need?
I wrote some body language tips for a piece in Glamour magazine today. Here they are.
· Always make a loving ritual of hello’s and goodbyes. That means coming from wherever you are in the house to greet your spouse with a kiss and or a hug hello when they come home. Go to them immediately, even if you are on the phone, cooking, or online. By immediately going towards each other to touch, your are communicating to your partner that he or she is the most important thing to you. You are saying nonverbally, "You come first." Greetings are designed to let someone who has left the tribal cave for the day know everything is safe in the home and they are welcome back in. It is wired into our primal brains that we should be on guard until we are warmly welcomed into a space. If fact, couples are more likely to argue later if there wasn’t a warm welcome home. In addition, kissing and or hugging goodbye symbolically says, "I leave you with love." With a touch goodbye you anchor to your mate. So the last memory of he has of leaving the home is that he is y surrounded by love. Touching on greeting and with goodbyes are small rituals with a big impact.
· Another recommendation is to eat at the table sitting kitty corner from one another at least once a week. Women like to sit face to face to read facial expressions and other nonverbal cues and men prefer to sit side by side so their hearts are not vulnerable. (physically and symbolically vulnerable) Sitting catty corner gives men more protection so they feel comfortable self disclosing and women enough access to their partners body language to feel at ease.
· The heart pumping love chemicals that couples produce when they are with each other reduce about two years into the relationship so if they haven't done it before, I recommend couples create a weekly adventure ritual. That mean going out and of having some kind of adventure or stimulating playing together. Whether it’s going someplace new, playing heart pumping board, or computer games, a fast paced who can make dinner fastest cooking contest in the kitchen, miniature golf with looser cleans the bathroom for a week, driving go carts, or snow skiing. Why? Because, exciting play increases the love chemicals monoamines including, dopamine, norepinephidrine, phenylethylamine (PEA) and serotonin. These chemicals basically, affect us like amphetamines, stimulants and painkillers. So they keep us feeling excited about our partner.
· I also recommend making love weekly. In the attachment sage of the relationship Oxytocin, the same chemical involved in childbirth and bonding to the infant, shows up in the blood of both men and women . Oxytocin is released during orgasm in both men and women. It has been postulated that the more sex the couple has, the more bonded they will become.
· In addition or sex and play I also recommend exercising together once a week Heart pumping hard exercising together, jogging, riding bikes, intense ball room dancing, etc. We release endorphins during and after sex. These give us that "feel good feeling" and exercise produces it too. Exercising together makes us associate feeling good with being with our partner.
Finally, I recommend a lock in once a month for 12 to 24 hours. You go into the bedroom for 24 hours, making sure to remove any electronic devises, TV, computers, IPods, cell phones. You stay in the room together without any external distractions. Your partner is it. Amazing to see what happens when there is no electronic device in between you and your sweetie.
· Always make a loving ritual of hello’s and goodbyes. That means coming from wherever you are in the house to greet your spouse with a kiss and or a hug hello when they come home. Go to them immediately, even if you are on the phone, cooking, or online. By immediately going towards each other to touch, your are communicating to your partner that he or she is the most important thing to you. You are saying nonverbally, "You come first." Greetings are designed to let someone who has left the tribal cave for the day know everything is safe in the home and they are welcome back in. It is wired into our primal brains that we should be on guard until we are warmly welcomed into a space. If fact, couples are more likely to argue later if there wasn’t a warm welcome home. In addition, kissing and or hugging goodbye symbolically says, "I leave you with love." With a touch goodbye you anchor to your mate. So the last memory of he has of leaving the home is that he is y surrounded by love. Touching on greeting and with goodbyes are small rituals with a big impact.
· Another recommendation is to eat at the table sitting kitty corner from one another at least once a week. Women like to sit face to face to read facial expressions and other nonverbal cues and men prefer to sit side by side so their hearts are not vulnerable. (physically and symbolically vulnerable) Sitting catty corner gives men more protection so they feel comfortable self disclosing and women enough access to their partners body language to feel at ease.
· The heart pumping love chemicals that couples produce when they are with each other reduce about two years into the relationship so if they haven't done it before, I recommend couples create a weekly adventure ritual. That mean going out and of having some kind of adventure or stimulating playing together. Whether it’s going someplace new, playing heart pumping board, or computer games, a fast paced who can make dinner fastest cooking contest in the kitchen, miniature golf with looser cleans the bathroom for a week, driving go carts, or snow skiing. Why? Because, exciting play increases the love chemicals monoamines including, dopamine, norepinephidrine, phenylethylamine (PEA) and serotonin. These chemicals basically, affect us like amphetamines, stimulants and painkillers. So they keep us feeling excited about our partner.
· I also recommend making love weekly. In the attachment sage of the relationship Oxytocin, the same chemical involved in childbirth and bonding to the infant, shows up in the blood of both men and women . Oxytocin is released during orgasm in both men and women. It has been postulated that the more sex the couple has, the more bonded they will become.
· In addition or sex and play I also recommend exercising together once a week Heart pumping hard exercising together, jogging, riding bikes, intense ball room dancing, etc. We release endorphins during and after sex. These give us that "feel good feeling" and exercise produces it too. Exercising together makes us associate feeling good with being with our partner.
Finally, I recommend a lock in once a month for 12 to 24 hours. You go into the bedroom for 24 hours, making sure to remove any electronic devises, TV, computers, IPods, cell phones. You stay in the room together without any external distractions. Your partner is it. Amazing to see what happens when there is no electronic device in between you and your sweetie.
nonverbal communication, baby and dog video
I love the Bonnie Hunt Show. So, instead of my usual academic read of some one's body language, here is a video from her show of a baby and a dog greeting each other nonverbally. If you read my blog you know I am the queen of handshakes. Who knew that dogs and babies had their own unique handshakes. It shouldn't surprise us dogs have been bred to read human body language more accurately than chimpanzees. To read more about handshakes just type it in my blog or go read the perfect handshake article on my website at www.Pattwood.net
How to Become a Body Language Expert
I got an email from Dr. Paul Ekman's office yesterday. After I stoped jumping up and down with excitement, I answered his assistant's request. Since the new TV show, "Lie To Me" based on Dr. Ekman's life has come out, his office is getting queries on how to become a body language expert. Here is my answer.
It was so kind of you to contact me. Dr. Paul Ekman is my idol. I read his research in my first nonverbal class when I was 19 years old, I quoted his research on my Master’s and Doctoral exams and I have been sharing the results of his research with my audiences since I taught my first body language class at Florida State in the 80’s.
There are many ways to become an expert in any field and I will give you different paths to take. I will start with the most arduous and then give you easier routes.
It was so kind of you to contact me. Dr. Paul Ekman is my idol. I read his research in my first nonverbal class when I was 19 years old, I quoted his research on my Master’s and Doctoral exams and I have been sharing the results of his research with my audiences since I taught my first body language class at Florida State in the 80’s.
There are many ways to become an expert in any field and I will give you different paths to take. I will start with the most arduous and then give you easier routes.
The first path is one that I chose. Get a degree. Don't freak out. The academic route is rewarding. If You want to pursue a full education I recommend you look for universities that have a program in Nonverbal Communication in a their -Communication Department, but also have a strong psychology, sociology, business communication and or anthropology departments. I was able to take courses in other colleges within my University to create my undergrad degree and I feel that truly helped me have a strong foundation in both brain research and the social interaction research on nonverbal communication.
Another path is take just take a college course on the topic. Look online at the college course catalogue. The course may be listed as nonverbal communication, but you may have to go deeper into the course description. Typically, you find courses that have a section or module on the topic under Psychology or Communication. You may also find them in the Business School or in the Anthropology Department or in the Sociology Department.
If someone wants a different kind of education please let them know I am taking on students for one on one coaching. I also take on student interns to work with me in my business.
Please let Dr. Ekman know I enjoy the television show and marvel at the accuracy of the nonverbal information. It is wonderful to have this show on the air for those of us who teach and have a passion for the field of nonverbal communication. If there is anything else you would like to know please feel free to call me.
The web is full of information, but some of it is far to simplistic and some is just plain wrong. Look for the experts with degrees in the field. When you do a Google search use the word "research, as the first word in the search. Read www.SceinceDailyNews.com
You may also want to find read some of the best books on the subject. I recommend going deep and reading all of Paul Eckman's books. Also read Desmond Morris' seminal contributions to the field.
Another path or mode of learning is to become a keen observer. Watch talk shows, look closely at the behavior. I have a chart in my Success Signals book that you can use to note when certain nonverbal behaviors occur and how many times they occur. One of the key times to watch is the pause before someone speaks. There are the micro expressions that Paul Ekman discovered that occur in that fraction of a second. They are the truthful expressions. Start looking for what people say, before the words come out. Then, observe what they do with their face movement and gestures and body, just as they finish speaking. There is the least amount of control at those moments so there is so much truth in those moments.
Don't over analyze your daily interactions; it will take you out of the real moment with people. It can make you crazy, or just make other people think you are crazy. Instead, observe as an outsider. Go the mall or the airport or the bookstore or coffeehouse or the grocery store and see if you can predict people’s next actions or get gut impressions of how people respond to waitress or cashier. For that matter, do something I do. Look for the nice people. For example, look at all the cashiers at Target, observe their nonverbal cues and decide which cashier will make your interaction the best. Personally, I look for the person who appears friendly, and present rather than an autotron. For you, that may mean choosing someone who is fast. Form an impression then predict their future behavior. Test your skills.
You can also look for a mentor or coach to guide you through the process. Find someone who is skilled at reading people as well as a good teacher.
Personally, I earned two degrees in communication with a specialization in Nonverbal Communication and did an additional four years of Doctoral coursework in nonverbal communication and taught Nonverbal Communication at the University level for many years. I have also been doing research on the topic since the early 80’s. My favorite areas of research are first impressions, handshakes and greeting behavior, rapport building, gender differences, deception detection and touch.
I studied with Dr. Larry Barker for my Masters to specialize in nonverbal communication and I did Doctoral coursework in Nonverbal Communication in the same manner as my undergraduate degree, by seeking courses in other departments related to the field.
If someone wants a different kind of education please let them know I am taking on students for one on one coaching. I also take on student interns to work with me in my business.
Please let Dr. Ekman know I enjoy the television show and marvel at the accuracy of the nonverbal information. It is wonderful to have this show on the air for those of us who teach and have a passion for the field of nonverbal communication. If there is anything else you would like to know please feel free to call me.
The real origin of the handshake
Why do we shake hands with people? Well today on MSM front page ever day mysteries wrote today that the origin of the handshake ,"...lies in medieval history. By offering a right hand to a stranger, a hand that could otherwise be used to draw a sword, men were overtly displaying their intentions of peace toward one another. " But that is not accurate.The real origin of the handshake started not in medieval times but in Roman times. Romans clasped arms to show I hold not weapon. It was the medieval nights who made the shift from arm clasping to hand clasping and later to the shaking, but the shaking part of the handshake originated because of a trick of some medieval nights of hiding weapons up in their sleeve. So when Knights went to grab hands they started shaking the other guys hands so if there where any hidden weapons hidden in the sleeves of their potential opponent they would fall out during the "shake down.
At that point handshakes became weapons checks.
Nowadays, from signing a treaty to settling a bet with friends, "shaking on it" remains a symbolic sign of agreement.
For more about the handshake check out my book on my website. www.pattiwood.net
At that point handshakes became weapons checks.
Nowadays, from signing a treaty to settling a bet with friends, "shaking on it" remains a symbolic sign of agreement.
For more about the handshake check out my book on my website. www.pattiwood.net
Lie to Me
In preparing for my deception detection class tonight I thought I would watch a few minutes of the new television show called, "Lie to Me." The program is based on the research of Paul Ekman the leading authority on facial expression research. I have read all of his books and have been quoting his research since I began teaching body language at Florida State in the 80's. Durring the few minutes I watched the information on the facial expression that comes before someone is about to attack was accurate. I will be writing more about the show.
Obama's voice and body language read
I was going over my notes from the History Channel special I did this fall and came across my notes on Obama. Since I had so many of my audience members ask about him I thought I would cut and paste my notes. I am prepping for my deception detection class tonight so I am giving you these notes in their pure, make that not edited in anyway, form.
(i) Barack Obama How does he use his voice to project an impression? Rhythmical, very powerful, charismatic.
(ii) I just analyzed his voice as he did his victory speech at the Iowa Cacus back in January.
(iii) Barack Voice is naturally a deep full low baritone. Deep low voices are perceived, according to research, as more authoritative believable and trustworthy. Combine that with the ease at which he can speak loudly without any vocal strain and you can hear his voice coming from the TV in another room and feel its authority and power. Hilary voice as much as she tries to control it and make it lower is not naturally low and she strains it and sound screechy and angry when she attempts it.
(iv) Obama paralanguage is chameleon like he changes his voices so dramatically to suit his location his audience his topic that it is difficult to know no just what his real voice is but who is truly is.
(v) Listen how Obama cadence that rhythm that sounds like a Baptist preacher. Listen to how he speaks on beat and extends certain words the word saaaaaaaid this day would never come. Preachers have a special rhythmic speaking were there voice goes up and down like a song and pauses on a beat rhythmically like a drummers reptile paradiddle on a drum.( demonstrate) When he does this his speaking is musical and very pleasing to the ear. We listen and moved by the rhythm so much we may not even hear the words; in fact the words may mean nothing.( and he didn’t really say anything new in the speech) But his voice is hypnotic. We know when his voice goes up and he pauses we must cheer and say amen. You can’t help your self. His other preacher speaking aspect copies the I had a dream, Listen how to volume goes up and up and up stirring the crowd and then he pauses for effect. He very effetely uses He uses the power of the pause he will say something like. He waits till the audiences cheers till he moves on to the next sentence. Pausing makes the word before the pause and sometimes the entire sentence before the pause sound more powerful and important.
(vi) Barack Voice is naturally a deep full low baritone. Deep low voices are perceived, according to research, as more authoritative believable and trustworthy. Combine that with the ease at which he can speak loudly without any vocal strain and you can hear his voice coming from the TV in another room and feel its authority and power. Hilary voice as much as she tries to control it and make it lower is not naturally low and she strains it and sound screechy and angry when she attempts it.
(vii) Obama paralanguage is chameleon like he changes his voices so dramatically to suit his location his audience his topic that it is difficult to know no just what his real voice is who is truly is.
(viii) Listen how Obama cadence rhythm that sounds like a Baptist preacher. Listen to how he speaks on beat and extends certain words and he say ‘They saaaaaaaid this day would never come. Preachers have a special rhythm were there voice goes up and down like a song and pauses on a beat rhythmically drummers reptile paradiddle on a drum.( demonstrate) When he does this his speaking is musical and very pleasing to the ear. We listen and moved by the rhythm so much we may not even hear the words; in fact the words may mean nothing. The voice is hypnotic we just know when his voice goes up and he pauses we should cheer and say amen His other preacher speaking aspect copies the I had a dream, Listen how to volume goes up and up and up stirring the crowd and then he pauses for effect.
(ix) And listen for how he says particular words like said you small towns and churches Ameeerica, affooodablllee draws it out he puts on a slight southern more accent that slightly slurs the word. That makes him sound like one of the common folk. So even when we know he came from upper class family when he says, Callused hand by callused hand he sounds like he was with us working on the farm and ploughing the field.
(x) He very effetely uses He uses the power of the pause he will say waits till the audiences cheers till he moves on to the next sentence. Pausing makes the word before the pause and sometimes the entire sentence before the pause sound more powerful and important.
(i) Barack Obama How does he use his voice to project an impression? Rhythmical, very powerful, charismatic.
(ii) I just analyzed his voice as he did his victory speech at the Iowa Cacus back in January.
(iii) Barack Voice is naturally a deep full low baritone. Deep low voices are perceived, according to research, as more authoritative believable and trustworthy. Combine that with the ease at which he can speak loudly without any vocal strain and you can hear his voice coming from the TV in another room and feel its authority and power. Hilary voice as much as she tries to control it and make it lower is not naturally low and she strains it and sound screechy and angry when she attempts it.
(iv) Obama paralanguage is chameleon like he changes his voices so dramatically to suit his location his audience his topic that it is difficult to know no just what his real voice is but who is truly is.
(v) Listen how Obama cadence that rhythm that sounds like a Baptist preacher. Listen to how he speaks on beat and extends certain words the word saaaaaaaid this day would never come. Preachers have a special rhythmic speaking were there voice goes up and down like a song and pauses on a beat rhythmically like a drummers reptile paradiddle on a drum.( demonstrate) When he does this his speaking is musical and very pleasing to the ear. We listen and moved by the rhythm so much we may not even hear the words; in fact the words may mean nothing.( and he didn’t really say anything new in the speech) But his voice is hypnotic. We know when his voice goes up and he pauses we must cheer and say amen. You can’t help your self. His other preacher speaking aspect copies the I had a dream, Listen how to volume goes up and up and up stirring the crowd and then he pauses for effect. He very effetely uses He uses the power of the pause he will say something like. He waits till the audiences cheers till he moves on to the next sentence. Pausing makes the word before the pause and sometimes the entire sentence before the pause sound more powerful and important.
(vi) Barack Voice is naturally a deep full low baritone. Deep low voices are perceived, according to research, as more authoritative believable and trustworthy. Combine that with the ease at which he can speak loudly without any vocal strain and you can hear his voice coming from the TV in another room and feel its authority and power. Hilary voice as much as she tries to control it and make it lower is not naturally low and she strains it and sound screechy and angry when she attempts it.
(vii) Obama paralanguage is chameleon like he changes his voices so dramatically to suit his location his audience his topic that it is difficult to know no just what his real voice is who is truly is.
(viii) Listen how Obama cadence rhythm that sounds like a Baptist preacher. Listen to how he speaks on beat and extends certain words and he say ‘They saaaaaaaid this day would never come. Preachers have a special rhythm were there voice goes up and down like a song and pauses on a beat rhythmically drummers reptile paradiddle on a drum.( demonstrate) When he does this his speaking is musical and very pleasing to the ear. We listen and moved by the rhythm so much we may not even hear the words; in fact the words may mean nothing. The voice is hypnotic we just know when his voice goes up and he pauses we should cheer and say amen His other preacher speaking aspect copies the I had a dream, Listen how to volume goes up and up and up stirring the crowd and then he pauses for effect.
(ix) And listen for how he says particular words like said you small towns and churches Ameeerica, affooodablllee draws it out he puts on a slight southern more accent that slightly slurs the word. That makes him sound like one of the common folk. So even when we know he came from upper class family when he says, Callused hand by callused hand he sounds like he was with us working on the farm and ploughing the field.
(x) He very effetely uses He uses the power of the pause he will say waits till the audiences cheers till he moves on to the next sentence. Pausing makes the word before the pause and sometimes the entire sentence before the pause sound more powerful and important.
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