Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog

What Happens Behind the Back of the Victim of Narcissism.

Trustworthiness What Happens Behind the Back of the Victim of Narcissism.

I speak on conflict management, how to deal with difficult people, including how to deal with narcissism.
The "Path" draws in the friends, family co-workers and acquaintances of the victims with his or her personal charm in an effort to build a (false) trust relationship with the fringe audience. This is accomplished with little effort as the Path has innate skills that easily manipulate the perceptions of others endearing them to him or her as they wield their persuasiveness and charm.

The initial impact, though appearing quite harmless and innocuous is commonly cloaked in the appearance of sincere concern for the victim’s well-being and might sound something, like, “I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, but have you ever thought that (insert victim’s name) may not be what he (or she) appears to be?” No accusations, no data, reports or inclinations of anything concrete, just tilling the soil and fertilizing it with a little doubt. All the while, they are increasing their own credibility with someone who may be a family member, friend, co-worker or acquaintance of the intended victim; unaware that they are being groomed as the Path’s minion who will be turned against the victim when the time is right. SOWING FALSE “FACTS” Grooming from this point forward will take a secretive slant and will likely be presupposed with something, like, “Don’t tell (insert name), but…” as they actually sow seeds of doubt.

As the relationship between the Path and his minion(s) grows deeper, more and more seeds will be sown in an effort to cast doubt, while the victim is none the wiser. I’ve always thought it peculiar, that in most cases, these once close associates of the victim rarely, if ever, courteously approach them with the sensitive information with a sincere, “Hey, I was just wondering about (insert reports of lack of sanity, trustworthiness, a secret double-life, illicit drug-use, illegal activities, pathological symptoms, etc…)…” that would definitely be an early indicator that something was up.

In most, if not all, circumstances the victim continues to navigate their life’s journey unaware that the world they once enjoyed is being eroded or destroyed behind their back. It is common for the Path to project their own psychological attributes onto the victim. For instance, if they are a closet illicit drug user, then this will be represented as being a problem of the target. If he or she is manipulative or controlling, this would be presented as something that the victim struggles with unbeknownst to others. If they tend to make up elaborate stories, it will be the victim who that accuse of secretly lives a fantasy-life where nothing is as it seems… on and on and on…

Why? Because no one knows these attributes better than the Path. They are the undeniable expert in these pathologies and they know how critical it is for someone who has them to keep them a secret in an effort to appear to be normal. In no way am I suggesting that the Path might limit their Psyca-attacks to their own attributes. They are extremely acute at the skill of taking a known truth and spinning it into a ludicrous conclusion that will cast a dark shadow on anyone at any time. ENTER THE “SPIN” Paths have the ability to spin any factual data into an amazing story that will breed conspiracy or contempt for any individual at will.

For instance, let’s say that you had a hard day at work all day, due to struggling with an intense ongoing headache. Everyone at work could tell that you were not “on your game” as usual. If you intimated to the Path that you had a headache; that would give them the data that they needed to spin a tale. The tale may take many shapes and forms, but will be consistent with some of the previous seeds that had been sown against you. For instance, if the Path’s intention was to have you appear to his or her minions that you were a closet illicit drug user, he or she might intimate, “Wow, did you notice that (insert your name) was out of it yesterday? It’s normal to go through withdrawals when you don’t get your fix before you get to work… It’s so sad…” No matter what you say or do, you cannot prevent the Path from spinning it into a negative story about you that will erode your sense of normalcy.

THE BEGINNING OF THE END When the Path has a clue that you are coming to the end of your usefulness in the accomplishment of their goals, he or she ramps up the defamation, usually making it appear that it is you who is beginning to attack them. At this point the Path will appeal to their minions’ sensibilities as they present themselves as the sacrifice, martyr or victim of your psychotic manipulations. It will become apparent to you when your relationship with the Path is coming to an end, that there has been a definite polarity has taken place. People who were once your friends will drift away… and you will notice a gravitation toward the Path. Having no internal filter, they will stop at nothing in an effort to humiliate you. They will spout vile accusations, even proclaim you’re mentally ill, if it will support their proclamation that you cannot be trusted or are inherently evil. Trying to defend yourself is almost pointless.

If the Path is quite proficient – as most of them are very accomplished – anything that you say in your defense will appear to be a part of your psychosis and will strengthen all of the groundwork that the Path has laid in preparation of this moment. Even if the Path’s relationship with the minions begins to dissolve (as it almost always does when the Path moves on in search of new victims and minions), the seeds will always leave a mark in their minds… and as heartbreaking as it may be, in most cases, regardless of the ultimate outcome of the Path’s lifestyle, there may be no hope for recovering the life that you once knew. Jobs and careers may be lost, friends will turn their backs on you, family members will distance themselves, the people that you once trusted with your most intimate thoughts and feelings will always wonder who you “really were” all the time they knew you.

THE COMMITMENT TO YOUR DESTRUCTION There is no way to anticipate how long the attacks will take place. In some cases, if the Path is the least bit concerned that you might at some point discredit them or tarnish their appearance or reputation… the attacks will continue. If the Path believes that at any point you could be a threat to their charade, the spinning will not cease. This perceived threat may continue until either of you cease to be. Many Paths have come right out and made bold, public declarations that they, “will not rest until you are,” locked up, put away, homeless, or dead. NEXT article http://psychopathvictims.com/tag/character-assassination One of the dead giveaways of psychopathic behavior is that of the vicious, psychotic character assassination campaigns that are wielded against anyone who stand in their way or might pose a threat to their agenda(s). Please keep in mind that if you have become the targeted victim of a psychopath’s smear campaign, that it is nothing personal. In fact, nothing can ever be seen as “personal” to a psychopath as they are devoid of any feelings (like a normal person might have); no love, no hate, no empathy, no remorse. They only see other people as tools or possessions and may even use phrases, like: • You’re mine • I own you And when they are done with you, they have so little regard for you that they might say: • I will end you • You will be nothing when I’m done with you.

This campaign focused on your destruction need not have any basis in actual fact, as the psychopath will create an alternative universe using a method that transfers the attributes of the psychopath in an effort to discredit the victim so much that anything they might say would not be considered as a factual representation of the truth. The battleground may include close personal relationships, workplaces……………. . For the psychopath it is a long-term commitment to bury their prey and sometimes it can be a lifetime obsession. The appropriate response when attacked by a psychopathic smear campaign is not to respond, not to defend, not to react, and not to contact the predator ever again; period, as any response, no matter how negative, threatening or even a lawfully empowered response will only add fuel to the fire that runs the engine of the assailant. Do not ask the psychopath to stop or try to negotiate with him/her. Without responding, document everything. In regards to the importance of documentation: Psychopaths will manipulate those who have your confidence in order to probe you for information that feeds the psychopathic fire and they will be spreading lies about your credibility and/or sanity. Anything you say to them will be twisted and misconstrued to reflect upon you in the worst possible light.

Weinstein's Smear Campaign

There is a specific deception technique Weinstein uses in his smear campaign of his accusers. If you look at his smears in the article below notice he compliments them before or as he says they are lying. This creates the illusion that Weinstein likes his accusers and is a nice guy therefore we should trust his other comments about them. When we hear good comments mixed with bad the cognitive dissonance created in the message, especially without nonverbal cues to check for honesty, tends to make our brains believe the smear. Freaky, but true. If we could hear and watch him, we might detect his smarminess. No, we can read it too.

https://splinternews.com/harvey-weinstein-is-saving-his-nastiest-smear-attempts-1821293136/amp

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

Gossip

I just finished writing a rough version of the chapter on gossip for my new book People Savvy. Here are a few notes:

There are some people that are fed by the rush that comes from making somebody else feel small, less than perfect. It makes the gossiper feel in control and superior. They will plant little seeds, subtle putdowns about their "target/victim."
The group begins to look for those behaviors in the victim as if it is a treasure hunt. "Did you see the way she ate her salad?" "Did you notice how loudly she laughed." "My god, that outfit she wore was awful." "Doesn't she know how she looks? Triangulation is an easy game. You can always find fault in someone.

Research says gossips gain energy, bond and derive pleasure from their behind the back-attacking game. Wouldn't it be great if people gathered and praised those not present? What a wonderful world it would be. Wouldn't it be mature and loving if you had a problem with someone or felt they had an issue and you took them aside and gently spoke to them? No one would ever go home and look in the mirror and wonder why nobody told them they had spinach between their teeth.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

Be the Reason Someone Believes in the Goodness of People - Character Counts and Virtue Matters

What I see in the news today makes me want to be a better person. Instead of focusing on how people “out there” are upset with their bad behavior let’s call forth good behavior in ourselves. Let's be more compassionate and self-aware.

Every day let's make good choices. Be grateful. Chose to let the driver who wants to pull in your lane in. Talk kindly and respectfully to and about your friends and family. Support them and notice the good things about them. Check yourself and make sure you don't criticize others or discuss what you perceive as their weaknesses behind their back, or do anything to bring down the character of a good-hearted, honest person. Whatever negative behaviors you want to say about someone, hold that behavior up and see how it reflects what you fear in yourself. Amid the negativity and dishonesty, on a grand scale, in our country's government, I suggest we be positive. As we fight corruption and selfishness, that we be fair and generous.

Beyonce & JAY-Z's Body Language In The "Family Feud" Music Video Is Super Intense

I did a reading for Elite Daily on the body language in the video to reveal what they want to portray about themselves and their relationship. This was a really fun project, but goodness the lyrics are full of cuss words!!!

In the song he talks about wanting to be a better person and not making the same mistakes he has in the past. But in the last line he inferred that it's not his fault that they (meaning young black men?) didn't have models about how to treat women. I think we can all start by saying, I didn't have the right role models, so I will be the role model I needed!

For women that means having boundaries, insisting on being respected and calling out people who don't respect you or other women.

Beyoncé and JAY-Z's body language in "Family Feud" might offer some subtler glimpses into one of America's favorite marriages.

"Family Feud" is the only song off of JAY's 4:44 album to feature Beyoncé, and the album deals heavily with his admitted infidelity in their marriage. The titular song "4:44" addresses the topic head on, but it's still alluded to heavily in "Family Feud," with lyrics like "Yeah, I'll f*ck up a good thing if you let me / Let me alone, Becky," referring to Beyoncé's take on the topic in the song "Sorry" on her album Lemonade.

For those who really want to know what's going on behind the scenes of the Carter-Knowles marriage, we're probably doomed for disappointment in that we won't ever know everything. This couple is only ever going to show their fans what they want us to see of their lives. But that doesn't mean we can't read between the lines a little bit.

That's why Elite Daily called in body language expert Patti Wood, author ofSnap: Making The Most Of First Impressions, Body Language, And Charisma,to tell us what Bey and JAY's body language in "Family Feud" reveals about them and what they could be feeling (or at least, what they feel like showing us), based on some pretty important parts of the video.

1. JAY-Z May Feel Exhausted By His Emotions

At about 5:45 in the video, we see JAY-Z rub his hands over his face while he sings the lyrics, "I run through 'em all." According to Wood, this could be a reference to JAY-Z experiencing a great deal of emotions. "What the face wipe [says] is, 'I don't like any of the emotions I'm feeling, [and] I want to wipe them away," she says, "So, what he [may] want to portray there is that he's gone through all these horrible experiences and all these horrible emotions, and he wants to wipe them away."

Later in the video, at around 6:18, JAY-Z's face is a clear sign that the emotions he's experienced, particularly his "sadness," are indeed genuine. According to Wood, his "facial muscles are down" and "he is really sad and tired; the fatigue is real."

2. Beyoncé's Position On The Pulpit Says A Lot

Positioned on the priest's pulpit in the church, Beyoncé's location in the shot, in comparison to JAY-Z, is likely pretty intentional. "What I also think is interesting non-verbally is her location and how she's presenting herself," says Wood. "She is high up... she's representing herself as above him." Beyoncé's later position in the priest's chair of the confessional booth is another prime example of this.

What may be even more intriguing, Wood believes, is that the video conveys that JAY-Z "is agreeing with that role." "He's down below," she says, and the position he assumes next may help to confirm that symbolism...

3. JAY-Z Assumes The "Figleaf" Position

At about 5:57 in the video, JAY-Z assumes what Wood refers to as the "figleaf" position, with JAY-Z standing with his arms crossed over his genitals. "He's covering his private parts," she says. "It's a communication of 'OK, I have to cover this. I have shame around this. I don't want to expose this part of me." For JAY-Z especially, who has not shied away from sexual references in the past, Wood believes "that's not normal for him."

4. Beyoncé's Happiness Is Genuine

At 7:00, as Beyoncé sings "Amen," (as seen in the above screenshot) Wood says the smile on Beyoncé's face is a "real smile." Despite JAY-Z's wrongdoings in the past, Beyoncé's genuine smile could signal that JAY's remorse is something she feels positively about. "This video is playing out his apology to her," says Wood. "She is enjoying every moment of that, and this shot really shows that."

5. JAY-Z Doesn't Want To Mess Things Up Again

JAY-Z raps, "I'll f*ck up a good thing if you let me," starting at about 7:06 in the video, and subsequently starts rubbing his hands on his head. "Symbolically, he's showing purposefully that [his screwing up] messes with his mind, that he doesn't want to do that again, and he doesn't want to f*ck up again," says Wood. If this particular signal is anything to go by, it's likely Hova won't be cheating again any time soon.

Of course, reading between the lines of "Family Feud" isn't the same as seeing what's happening in the Carter-Knowles marriage and in their respective lives firsthand. They are the only two people on this planet who actually know what's going on with themselves and in their marriage. But as long as they let us stay on the sidelines, we'll be here watching.

Link to actual article: https://www.elitedaily.com/p/beyonce-jay-zs-body-language-in-the-family-feud-music-video-is-super-intense-7720384

Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds' Body Language Reveals Our Favorite Couple Is Rock Solid

Is there a cuter, more couple-goals-worthy duo in all of Hollywood than Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds? No. The answer is no. From the minute their relationship went public in 2011, it seemed we were looking at a real and passionate love connection. In the years since, the two have gotten married and had two children together, but one thing that hasn't changed about them is how totally into one another they appear to be in every photo, interview, and social media post. To the novice eye, Blake Lively and Ryan Reynold's body language would appear confirm that they are solid, but with seemingly-in-love celebrity couples splitting up all the time (R.I.P. Anna Faris and Chris Pratt), you can't help but worry that maybe we're missing something about Blake and Ryan.

To get to the real heart of this celebrity couple, I reached out to body language expert Patti Wood, author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, to help give us insight into the real dynamic of this celebrity golden couple. Is it all a ruse and is love dead? Or are Blake and Ryan the real deal? Here is what Wood sees when she looks at photos of them together.

1. They Have A Strong Romantic And Sexual Connection

The first thing Wood notices in the above image of Blake and Ryan is the couple’s sexual and romantic connection. This is evident in the way their torsos are angled toward each other to form what Wood refers to as a "love V." "If you look at her pelvis, [it's] aimed and pushed in toward him," says Wood. "If you look at him, even his feet are in a love V, and the pelvis is even just a little bit more twisted toward her. That shows a ... very nice and balanced sexual connection with one another."
Balancing that sexual energy, Wood also sees a couple that is emotionally connected and loves spending time together. "My favorite thing, and what I’m sure everyone else is noticing in this photo, is the direct eye contact," says Wood. But what really stands out to her are their smiles: "If you look at the teeth, see how they're matching? Specifically the upper front teeth — which show joy — are absolutely aligned. That shows a moment where they are absolutely connected in joy to be with one another."

2. Blake Is Very Protective Of Her Man

In this image, which was taken at Ryan's walk of fame star ceremony, Wood sees Blake as being both supportive and protective of her husband. According to her, Ryan may be experiencing some nervousness, as evidenced by the tightness in his jaw and mouth, but in response, Blake rests a calming hand on him. "I like the way her fingers are resting on his stomach," says Wood. "They are a little splayed out, so it's a bit more like wanting to show a little bit of ownership and protection."
And Ryan is seemingly grateful for her subtle support. Wood explains, "If you look at his pelvis and his legs, you'll see his weight is leaned in toward her... especially since this is his event, this shows, 'Yeah, we're a unit; we're together.'"

3. They Are Family Goals, Too

In this image of the family all together, the aspect that stands out most to Wood is how comfortable and natural they all seem. She points out, "[Blake] has the baby with both arms wrapped gently, but holding securely... you can see that these are holding motions that she uses all the time, that the baby is the most important thing." Similarly, Ryan's "hands are held beneath his daughter — it's a strong hold, but it's a relaxed hold." The reason this is significant, according to Wood, is that their ease and comfort show the two of them regularly hold their children, that this is their normal, and that they are both very involved with the children.
All in all, things are looking bright for Blake and Ryan's relationship. "They want be seen, they feel [like] a unit, and [they] definitely have a matching energy around that connection," says Wood. "There’s not one person that’s pulling or pushing or holding tight — there’s not a competition between the two of them."
In other words, it’s safe to assume that this relationship is rock solid and will likely go the distance. Love lives on another day.

Link to actual article:

https://www.elitedaily.com/p/blake-lively-ryan-reynolds-body-language-reveals-our-favorite-couple-is-rock-solid-7748257

Body Language Experts Reveal the Sneaky Signs Your Partner Might Be Lying

In the article they say the body itches but I didn't say that. I said that there's more nerve endings around the tip of the nose, the outer edge of the ear, around the orbit of the eye and around mouth and when you're stressed those nerve endings fire causing them to itch. I just talked about those locations. They should re-post the article with the corrections soon.

His words may say one thing, but his lips say entirely another!

By some estimates, the average person tells at least one little white lie per day. A small fib here or there likely doesn't do much damage, but when it's someone you love and trust that's struggling to stick to the truth, it's a bit more worrying.

When attempting to interpret someone's behavior, especially a romantic partner, it's important to first determine their normal habits."When you see a change in their baseline behavior, that's your 'aha moment,'" says Blanca Cobb, body language expert and author of Method of the Masters.

It's also important to note that unusual body language doesn't necessarily mean deception. Work stress, anxiety, or nervous jitters — which often result in fidgeting, breaking eye contact, and filler words (like "um" and "you know") — could be influencing your loved one's behavior.

Truthful people gesture just before they speak, whereas liars gesture just after."

So what's normal fidgeting, and what counts as deceptive body language? Timing is everything: "Truthful people gesture just before they speak, whereas liars gesture just after they start talking," explains Traci Brown in her book How to Detect Lies, Fraud and Identity Theft.

Here are a few ways to interpret potentially deceptive facial expressions, hand, and foot gestures:

Facial Expressions: Twitchy Eyes and Lip Movements

"When under stress, you'll show snippets of your true emotions on your face," says Cobb. "These micro-expressions occur within 1/15th of a second."

Shifty eyes and reduced eye contact are not indicators of shady behavior. What is: twitching of the eyes and mouth, pursed lips, and excessive blinking (we're talking more than 70 blinks a minute), Cobb explains.

A disingenuous smile is another indicator of a lie, according to Brown. "Duper's Delight," for example, happens when someone smiles at an inappropriate moment, like when they have just been caught in a lie.

Hand Gestures: Too Much Touching

In uncomfortable situations, adults try to comfort themselves (somebody has to, right?). To do so, they'll touch their mouth, eyes, ears, and nose to alleviate their sense of stress or worry. "This changes the body chemistry and acts a prescription to help calm the body down," says Patti Wood, body language expert and author of SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma.

Every person has different gestures that provide comfort — just like every child reaches for a different blanket or teddy bear at night. The most common comfort cues in adults are knuckle cracking, increased yawning, crossing legs, tapping fingers, humming, rocking, wiggling, and hair touching, according to Brown.

You might even notice that a suspected liar begins to scratch himself. "Stress negatively affects nerve endings, which causes people to feel itchy," says Wood. The eyes, nose, ears, and mouth have the most nerve endings, so they are often the first areas for which someone may reach.

When wrapped up in a lie or abnormally stressful situation, they may hide their hands under a table or desk, or tuck their hands into their pockets."When the conversation moves to tough questions where you need direct answers and their hands suddenly move below the table, it's likely they're hiding something and aren't 100% forthcoming," says Brown.

Fidgety Feet: Twisting, Tapping, and More

Last but not least, fidgety feet are a major indicator of guilt. "We have the least control over our feet," Brown says. "When people are answering tough questions and are on the spot, they'll look like they're rocking." By twisting, tapping, or bouncing legs, adults will create a lack of symmetry in their body.

"While doing this, they are saying one thing but feeling another," says Wood. This off-center behavior mimics the distance between the truth and the lie.

Link to actual article: http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/relationships/a47253/how-to-tell-husband-is-lying-body-language/

Chip and Joanna's Body Language

This story was number 2 on the all the national news feeds! Viral baby! So many hits!!! Oh my gosh its gone crazy

If you were to list all of the power couples in the world, we're positive Chip and Joanna would be at the very top. The soon-to-be parents of five (yes, five!) are a dream team. Not only do they bring laughter — and serious interior design envy — into our homes week after week on Fixer Upper but they also remind us that true love is alive and well. C'mon, just look at them.

On the heels of their exciting pregnancy announcement, these two are clearly smitten for one another — and these experts agree that their body language suggests just that.

For starters, Joanna often faces and leans into Chip."This subconscious act shows the she thinks Chip is more important —and attractive — than the camera," Patti Wood, body language expert and author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, told GoodHousekeeping.com. It's simple: The feet point where the heart follows. By leaning into him, Joanna is giving him some of her weight, both literally and figuratively. "This symbolizes the unity of their relationship. She leans on him when she needs it and vice versa," says Wood.

One thing's for sure: they're not afraid to show PDA. In many instances, Chip is kissing Joanna, either on the cheek or top of the head. Kissing on top of the head has different meanings — both good and bad. First and foremost, it's a sign of endearment. But this simple — and seemingly sweet — gesture can also be a major power move. How many times have you seen a big guy (or father figure) kiss the little girl on top of the head? Exactly.

Without other kisses mixed in, this is a cause for concern and a potential sign of narcissism, says Wood. In Chip's case, however, he also publicly kisses Joanna on the cheek. "Kissing on the cheek is more intimate and is typically a prelude to deeper affection," explains Wood.

When it comes to touch, Chip and Joanna prioritize stability over affection. Instead of holding hands, Joanna often links arms with Chip or grabs hold of his forearm. "It's clear that this is a desire to be connected and viewed as a unit," says Wood. "While this can be a type of ownership, there's also a sweetness to this gesture."

Beyond touch, this gesture brings the couple even closer together. "Linking or holding arms brings you physically closer together," Blanca Cobb, body language expert and author of Methods of the Masters, told GoodHousekeeping.com. "When you're feeling loving towards your partner, you'll find ways to get closer."

But her grip differs depending on the situation — ahem, how wild and kooky Chip gets. When he's joking around (and getting a little out of hand), Joanna will hold on to his arm with both of her hands. "This is her way to reel him back in. It's a grounding move," says Wood.

This HGTV power duo balances playfulness with grace. Chip, the class clown, adores Joanna when she taps into her quirky, playful side. "When Joanna becomes the center of attention, it's clear that Chip doesn't mind," says Wood. "He always responds to her actions with a smile, indicating that he's fine — and proud — of his wife's behavior."

When Chip steals the spotlight, she appears just as entertained as the rest of us at home. "The great thing is that she's truly entertained by his antics," Traci Brown, body language expert and author of How to Detect Lies, Fraud and Identity Theft: The Field Guide, told GoodHousekeeping.com. "Most importantly, she never leaks anger and neither does he when she gets him in line."

Above all, Chip and Jojo always appear as a team, on and off camera. "Their body language overlaps," says Wood. "Instead of two separate silhouettes, they create a united front." While important in their line of work, this all-for-one behavior is even more important to their growing family.

Further proof that their love for one another isn't just for show (or their show) — it's the real deal.

Link to actual article - http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/entertainment/news/a47552/chip-and-joanna-gaines-body-language/

Trump's Body Language, the National Anthem.

I am doing body language reads for the national media on President Trump singing the national anthem last night and how he didn't seem to know the words. Here is one of my body language reads of Trump during the national anthem. This is profoundly telling. If you say you believe in something and that belief is an important part of who you are then your behavior should match your beliefs.

Trump knows he is being scrutinized. He says he believes in the sacredness of the National Anthem and that it is part of who is an American, but he can't be still and hold is sacred, nor does he sing all the words with commitment. In all my Facebook and blog posts when I see behavior that is in-congruent like this or abhorrent say, such as gross sexual misconduct I am asking that readers examine themselves and work on being congruent to raise the integrity of our country. So, in this case do you say something is important to you, say the national anthem, your family, your faith, your personal integrity, and or your country work to insure that your behaviors match your stated belief.

Link to actual article

Here's the video of Trump Video

Narcissistic Supply- An Explanation of Character Assassination and Smear Campaigns

I speak and write about body language and how to deal with difficult people including malignant narcissists.

"Narcissistic Supply"- Malignant Narcissists (Those on the extreme end of the spectrum.) can't stand for someone to see behind their mask for who they truly are so they attack the character of anyone who is a threat to the false self. Think of people in your life or in the news who have recently attacked someone who outed their bad behavior.

Psychopaths and Malignant Narcissists do not have normal emotions. They can act as if they do, in fact, some are extremely good actors with a facade that makes them appear highly charismatic, powerful and energetic. But the energy they project is not really theirs, they get it from the energy and emotions of others.

They may seem healthy and happy if they are fed a supply of attention. But, but if the flow stops they describe feeling like they are in dark empty void. So, they are constantly hunting for what researchers call the “Narcissistic supply" of other people’s emotions, to feed themselves and fill their void. Do you know someone personally or any celebrities or public figures life that must have constant attention? Do you know anyone who acts out, attacks and or creates tension and drama, pitting people against each other and dividing people? Harvey Weinstein is perfect example of someone who craved attention and drama.

Psychopaths/Malignant Narcissists (PN"S) search for “Narcissistic Targets"/ "Narcissistic Victims" that can give those lots of attention and emotion.  At some point a healthy target who is associated with a Psychopath/Narcissist may see the Psychopath/Narcissists for who they really are. Their "Narcissistic Mask” will come down. Being revealed for who they really are is Psychopath/Malignant Narcissists
biggest fear so they are prepared for this. It has happened to them before. Their false self-image/mask is everything to them. They must bribe, threaten, cast off and or destroy anyone who knows threatens their false self.

If the target is a threat they typically becomes the victim of a "Smear campaign" or "Character Assassination" to destroy their ability to be what the target should be, a credible source of truthful information about the Psychopath/Malignant Narcissists.
Remember the PN gains supply from the group and they are terrified of loosing a steady supply so they must not just destroy the target they mus eject the truth know-er from the group/family/work place/political world so that the PN's can continue to gain supply from the group/family/workplace/political/world.

The Character Assignation and or Smear Campaign is carried out by the PN creating
often vicious lies about the target who has unmasked them. Oddly,they often seem like they are following some play book in their campaign as the lies they plant often are the PNS very behaviors! If they are stalkers of their target they will lie and claim their target is a stalker. If the they use their connections to attack their targets they will lie and claim their target used their connections to attack. If the  PN's are unstable and emotional or crazy they will lie and say their target is crazy. Though they love admiration and attention PN's may even get more supply if they are successful in their character assassination as their victim is made to appear like someone who did them harm and the Psychopath/Narcissists gains a steady supply of sympathy from the group.

Again the Malignant Narcissists have planned for possible attack by grooming the group long before they assassinate the character of the victim/target. They have 'seeded" (google "Seeding", "Lie seeding") the group with negative information about the target and primed the group gifting them dinners, entry into exclusive parties, clubs, events, trips, jobs.

If the group allows the Narcissist/Psychopath to get away with attacking the victim/target and lets the attacker stay in the group they show the attacker their bad behaviors will be tolerated. This is called “Normalization” and it eats away at the morals of a group and/or shows that the group has little or no morals.

The group becomes the Malignant Narcissist tertiary supply and they will create drama in the group, claiming victim-hood and saying how badly they were treated by their target!!! Their victim who saw behind the mask is labeled the bad guy. The Malignant Narcissist's continues to feed off the group often by triangulating group members pitting them against each other. The Psychopath/Narcissist craves supply!